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{{short description|American writer}}
'''Richard Willard Armour''' (July 15, 1906 – February 28, 1989) was an American poet and prose writer who wrote more than 65 books.<ref>{{Cite news|url=https://www.nytimes.com/1989/03/02/obituaries/richard-armour-82-an-author-of-whimsical-free-verse-is-dead.html|title = Richard Armour, 82, an Author of Whimsical Free Verse, is Dead|newspaper = The New York Times|date = 2 March 1989|last1 = Flint|first1 = Peter B.}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1989-03-01-mn-582-story.html|title = Whimsical Poet Richard Armour Dies| website=[[Los Angeles Times]] |date = March 1989}}</ref>
{{notability|Biographies|date=September 2017}}▼
== Life and works ==
Armour was born in [[San Pedro, Los Angeles, California]] the only child of Harry W. and Sue Wheelock Armour. His father was a [[Dispensing chemist|druggist]], and Armour's autobiographical ''Drug Store Days'' recalls his childhood in both San Pedro and Pomona. He attended [[Pomona College]] and [[Harvard University]], where he studied with the eminent Shakespearean scholar [[George Lyman Kittredge]] and obtained a Ph.D. in English [[philology]]. He was married to Kathleen Stevens and they had two children, Geoffrey and Karin, and he eventually became Professor of English at [[Scripps College]] and the [[Claremont Graduate School]] in [[Claremont, California]]. In 1968, Armour was awarded an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters (L.H.D.) degree from [[Whittier College]].<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.whittier.edu/alumni/poetnation/honorary|title=Honorary Degrees {{!}} Whittier College|website=www.whittier.edu|access-date=2020-02-27}}</ref>
In his early career he focused on serious literature, publishing (in 1935) a biography of the lesser English poet [[Bryan Waller Procter]] and in 1940, co-editing (with [[Raymond F. Howes]]) a series of observations by contemporaries about [[Samuel Taylor Coleridge]], ''Coleridge the Talker''. [[Virginia Woolf]] cited this work in an essay stating, "Two pious American editors have collected the comments of this various company [Coleridge's acquaintances], and they are, of course, various. Yet it is the only way of getting at the truth—to have it broken into many splinters by many mirrors and so select."
▲In his early career he focused on serious literature, publishing (in 1935) a biography of the lesser English poet [[Bryan Waller Procter]] and in 1940, co-editing (with [[Raymond F. Howes]]) a series of observations by contemporaries about Samuel Taylor Coleridge, ''Coleridge the Talker''. Virginia Woolf cited this work in an essay stating, "Two pious American editors have collected the comments of this various company [Coleridge's acquaintances], and they are, of course, various. Yet it is the only way of getting at the truth—to have it broken into many splinters by many mirrors and so select." <ref>Virginia Woolf, [http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/w/woolf/virginia/w91d/chap15.html "The Man at the Gate" (1945 essay)], in ''The Death of the Moth, and other Essays'', 1961</ref>
Armour wrote humorous poems—[[light verse]]—in a style reminiscent of [[Ogden Nash]]. These poems were often featured in newspaper Sunday supplements in a feature called ''Armour's Armory''. Many of Armour's poems have been repeatedly and incorrectly attributed to Nash. Probably Armour's most-quoted poem (often incorrectly attributed to Nash) is the quatrain: ''"Shake and shake / the [[catsup]] bottle / none will come / and then a lot'll."'' Another popular quatrain of his, also usually attributed erroneously to Nash, is: ''"Nothing attracts / the mustard from wieners / as much as the slacks / just back from the cleaners."''
Armour also wrote satirical books, such as ''Twisted Tales from Shakespeare'', and his ersatz history of the United States, ''It All Started With Columbus''. These books were typically filled with puns and plays on words, and gave the impression of someone who had not quite been paying attention in class, thus also getting basic facts not quite right, to humorous effect.
As an example: "In an attempt to take [[Baltimore]], the [[Kingdom of Great Britain|British]] attacked [[Fort McHenry]], which protected the harbor. Bombs were soon bursting in air, rockets were glaring, and all in all it was a moment of great historical interest. During the bombardment, a young lawyer named [[Francis Scott Key|Francis "Off" Key]] wrote ''[[The Star-Spangled Banner]]'', and when, by the dawn's early light, the British heard it sung, they fled in terror
''It All Started with Europa'' begins in the wilderness full of "fierce animals ready to spring and fierce birds ready to chirp."
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A preface of one book noted "The reader will not encounter any half-truths, but may occasionally encounter a truth-and-a-half."
==
{{Incomplete list|date=January 2009}}
===Books===
<!-- Break into categories and remove table format?-->
{| class="wikitable sortable" style="font-size: 95%;"
|-
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|-
| ''Coleridge the Talker'' || 1940 || Co-edited with Raymond F. Howes
|-▼
|-
| ''To These Dark Steps'' || 1943 || Stage play (life of [[John Milton]]), with [[Bown Adams]]
|-▼
|-▼
|-▼
|-
| ''Writing Light Verse'' || 1947 ||
|-▼
|-
| ''It All Started with Columbus'' || 1953 || American history
|-
| ''It All Started with Europa'' || 1955 || European history
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|-
| ''It All Started with Marx'' || 1958 || History of communism
|-
| ''Drug Store Days'' || 1959 || Autobiography
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|-
| ''Golf is a Four-Letter Word'' || 1962 ||
|-
| ''Through Darkest Adolescence'' || 1963 || Humorous "advice" for dealing with teenagers
|-
| ''AmericanLit Relit'' || 1964 || American literature
|-
| ''Our Presidents'' || 1964 || Children's book, illustrated by [[Leonard Everett Fisher]], Woodbridge Press, California {{ISBN|0-88007-134-6}}
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|-
| ''It All Started with Hippocrates'' || 1966 || Medicine
|-
| ''Animals on the Ceiling'' || 1966 || Children's book
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|-
| ''Sea Full of Whales'' || 1974 || Children's book, illustrated by [[Paul Galdone]]
|-
| ''The Happy Bookers: A History of Librarians and Their World'' || 1976 || Librarians. Written with and [[Campbell Grant]]
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| ''It All Started with Nudes'' || 1977 || Art appreciation. Illustrated by Campbell Grant.
|-
| ''Strange Monsters of the Sea'' || 1979 || Children's book
|-
| ''Insects All Around Us'' || 1981 || Children's book, illustrated by [[Paul Galdone]]
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| ''Educated Guesses: Light-Serious Suggestions for Parents and Teachers'' || 1983 || Education (serious)
|-
| ''Have You Ever Wished You Were Something Else?'' || 1983 || Children's book
|}
===
;Collections
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |title=Yours for the asking |location= |publisher= |year=1942 <!--|isbn=-->}}
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |title=Privates' lives |location= |publisher= |year=1944 <!--|isbn=-->}}
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |title=Golf bawls |location= |publisher= |year=1946 <!--|isbn=-->}}
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |others=Caricatures by Joseph Forte |title=Leading with my left |location= |publisher= |year=1946 <!--|isbn=-->}}
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |title=For partly proud parents |location= |publisher= |year=1950 <!--|isbn=-->}}
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |title=Light Armour : playful poems on practically everything |location= |publisher= |year=1954 <!--|isbn=-->}}
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |title=Nights with Armour : lighthearted light verse |location= |publisher= |year=1958 <!--|isbn=-->}}
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |title=The medical muse, or what to do until the patient comes |location= |publisher= |year=1963 <!--|isbn=-->}}
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |title=An armoury of light verse |location= |publisher= |year=1964 <!--|isbn=-->}} <!--Is this a collection of Armour's poetry, or an anthology he edited?-->
* {{cite book |author=Armour, Richard |author-mask=1 |title=The spouse in the house |location= |publisher= |year=1975 <!--|isbn=-->}}
;Anthologies (edited)
* {{cite book |editor=Armour, Richard |others=Illustrated by [[Eric Gurney]] |title=Punctured poems : famous first and infamous second lines |location= |publisher= |year=1966 <!--|isbn=-->}}
;List of poems
{|class='wikitable sortable' width='90%'
▲|-
!width=25%|Title
!|Year
!|First published
!|Reprinted/collected
▲|-
|To man, gloomily
|1950
|{{cite magazine |author=Armour, Richard |date=January 7, 1950 |title=To man, gloomily |magazine=The New Yorker |volume=25 |issue=46 |pages=71}}
▲|-
== Appearance on ''You Bet Your Life'' ==
In 1957, Armour appeared on the television game show ''[[You Bet Your Life]]''. After introductions, host [[Groucho Marx]] repeated the show's famous catch-phrase, "Say the secret word, win a hundred dollars." Each episode of the show had a secret, common word (i.e. home, head, door) and if the contestant said the word during his/her interview, then the partnered contestants would each get $50. In this particular case, Armour caught the host in a semantic trap, by immediately stating, "The secret word." He then demanded his $100. After a very brief moment of confusion the band broke out with a short medley indicating that the secret word had been said. Announcer and assistant [[George Fenneman]] then arrived on camera and turned to Armour, "From the C.O. over here that we will allow ''you'' to do what you just did. But nobody else better try this. That's what they said." Armour replied, "Thank you, very much." And Fenneman left the frame and responded, "You're welcome," quickly caught himself, and almost cut himself off stating, "I had nothing to do with it." Normally when the secret word is said, Groucho immediately hands over cash. He did not hand over the cash and it's unclear if they paid Armour the bonus even after Armour and his partner won the game. He also composed the following poem that he read to Groucho.
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==Sources==
{{Empty section|date=February 2024}}
==References==
{{Reflist}}
{{wikiquote}}
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[[Category:1906 births]]
[[Category:1989 deaths]]
[[Category:Claremont Graduate University faculty]]
[[Category:George Washington University alumni]]
[[Category:Harvard University alumni]]
[[Category:The New Yorker people]]
[[Category:
▲[[Category:20th-century American poets]]
[[Category:Pomona College alumni]]
[[Category:Scripps College faculty]]
[[Category:
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