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Penpal
Penpal began as a series of short and interconnected stories posted on an online horror forum. Before long, it was adapted into illustrations, audio recordings, and short films; and that was before it was revised and expanded into a novel!
How much do you remember about your childhood?
In Penpal, a man investigates the seemingly unrelated bizarre, tragic, and horrific occurrences of his childhood in an attempt to finally understand them. Beginning with only fragments of his earliest years, you'll follow the narrator as he discovers that these strange and horrible events are actually part of a single terrifying story that has shaped the entirety of his life and the lives of those around him. If you've ever stayed in the woods just a little too long after dark, if you've ever had the feeling that someone or something was trying to hurt you, if you remember the first friend you ever made and how strong that bond was, then Penpal is a story that you won't soon forget, despite how you might try.
How much do you remember about your childhood?
In Penpal, a man investigates the seemingly unrelated bizarre, tragic, and horrific occurrences of his childhood in an attempt to finally understand them. Beginning with only fragments of his earliest years, you'll follow the narrator as he discovers that these strange and horrible events are actually part of a single terrifying story that has shaped the entirety of his life and the lives of those around him. If you've ever stayed in the woods just a little too long after dark, if you've ever had the feeling that someone or something was trying to hurt you, if you remember the first friend you ever made and how strong that bond was, then Penpal is a story that you won't soon forget, despite how you might try.
243 pages, Paperback
First published June 11, 2012
About the author
Dathan Auerbach
3 books1,189 followersDATHAN AUERBACH was born in the southern U.S. and has lived there for most of his life. In 2011, he began posting a series of stories to a forum dedicated to horror. After a Kickstarter campaign that raised over 1000% of its goal, he was able to release the revised and expanded versions of his story as the novel Penpal.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 6,662 reviews
June 27, 2020
creepypasta? more like weepypasta!!!
August 28, 2020
I really enjoyed this book - the gentle pace of the story well told, combined with a serious creepiness that made my skin crawl, is unique. Reminds me that realistic suspense / horror is both most bothersome, and most enjoyable.
August 3, 2023
There's a cult following and a lot of hype around Penpal, it's a bit of a phenomenon, but I wouldn't describe it as the "extreme horror" that I've heard it called. It was creepy and tense though, and the tension is sustained which makes it difficult to put down! It's best not to know too much about the plot before reading, but it's a story of remembering events from childhood and is told through a series of fragmented, non-linear memories. There's some questions that don't get answered, (and six year olds playing in the woods with no parents around didn't seem particularly likely) but I chose to overlook that, as this book was overall very good and so compulsive it kept me up reading far later than I should've been!
October 12, 2022
Ahhhhh, this book was so unique and so CREEPY. I loved how this story is basically 6 chapters of different creepy childhood memories that all connect in a really interesting way. This book had NO RIGHT being this creepy, the end of every chapter gave me goosebumps everywhere and genuinely some of the chapters really freaked me out. I loved this, definitely a new favorite and one I can see myself rereading in the future.
Here's the vlog where I read it: https://youtu.be/6nxHw18djXg
Here's the vlog where I read it: https://youtu.be/6nxHw18djXg
August 8, 2013
After reading Penpal, I really can’t understand the high ratings or the glowing reviews.
The book is written with a formality of language that is unnatural. It seems that words are often used in a manner to attempt to impress the reader more than clearly or fluidly relay storyline. It reminded me of something that might have been written by a member of a high school gifted and talented program to impress the teacher more than a readable work of fiction.
The story. Think along the lines of one long campfire “tale of terror”( the call was coming from inside the house, or the hook was hanging from the car door handle), and you have Penpal in a nutshell. The story line was predictable and cliché. I always knew where the story in each chapter would wind up within the first few paragraphs.
There were parts of the story that clearly lacked research, and the activities of the characters were completely beyond what I believed to be appropriate or plausible for people of their ages or their positions.
The story was fit for its original online format and never should have transitioned into its current form. I would work well on a message board, but it falls short on its leap to novel.
The book is written with a formality of language that is unnatural. It seems that words are often used in a manner to attempt to impress the reader more than clearly or fluidly relay storyline. It reminded me of something that might have been written by a member of a high school gifted and talented program to impress the teacher more than a readable work of fiction.
The story. Think along the lines of one long campfire “tale of terror”( the call was coming from inside the house, or the hook was hanging from the car door handle), and you have Penpal in a nutshell. The story line was predictable and cliché. I always knew where the story in each chapter would wind up within the first few paragraphs.
There were parts of the story that clearly lacked research, and the activities of the characters were completely beyond what I believed to be appropriate or plausible for people of their ages or their positions.
The story was fit for its original online format and never should have transitioned into its current form. I would work well on a message board, but it falls short on its leap to novel.
August 22, 2012
I finished this book in two days, and when I wasn't reading it I was thinking about it. I stayed up until midnight last night just to finish it, and then when I was done, I did something I haven't done in decades...I left a lamp on when I went to sleep. I'm 31 years old and I'm not proud of this. This book scared me in ways that I can barely describe. I can only say that I don't think a book has ever made my heart pound before, and this one did...several times.
This book was very nostalgic for me. It made me recall my childhood. Like the narrator I grew up in a rural area during a time when kids spent most of the day outside if they weren't in school. Exploring and discovering was a big part of being outside, but aside from seeing the odd snake or two, nothing bad ever really happened. The entire time I was reading of the narrator's explorations, however, I felt there was a cloud hanging over him every second, for years. There was always danger lurking and it made me so apprehensive and scared for him. The narrator is, of course, completely unaware of this as a child. I read about his innocence, biting my nails all the while. It was terrifying.
It bugged me that the narrator's mother didn't make her child more aware. Obviously as readers we aren't let in on the whole story, but it kind of seemed like his mother became aware of this danger at a certain point, and aside from calling the police once, it was business as usual. Her son was still allowed to go outside and explore. I don't know if I could let my child leave my sight, knowing what she knew. She never told her son! Never made him aware that there was someone out there with questionable intentions. I'm sure it would've been a difficult thing to tell a 6 year old, but still, there should've been some way. Certainly letting a child galavant around in the woods as he used to would be out of the question?
The ending kind of bugged me. I felt throughout the book that we weren't ever given enough information, and that was true in the case of the ending as well. We aren't given any information about the antagonist at all. No resolution as to anything, we don't hear about the police getting involved or anything. I also thought it odd that Josh's father and the narrator's mom just dug about in an unmarked grave, moving bodies and objects and tainting all the evidence. Why didn't they call the police the instant it was discovered?? It didn't seem to make sense.
One thread that never made sense to me either was the shark floatie. The narrator mentions in Footsteps that there is a floatie shaped like a shark, and then years later Mrs. Maggie gives the boys a shark floatie for them to play with in the lake. Was there supposed to be a connection? It wasn't the exact same floatie, was it? I also could never figure out if the antagonist was somehow connected to Mrs. Maggie and I just never picked up on it. She just seemed like an arbitrarily creepy character sort of shoved in the story, and I couldn't figure out if she mattered or not.
Is this a true story?? I know it was originally posted on Reddit and made to sound like something that actually happened to the author as a child. At the end of the ebook there is a very official looking police report with names blocked out that details the narrator's mother's first contact with the police regarding the polaroids. I still can't figure out if it's authentic, and google isn't helping. I suppose it's scarier if you're thinking the whole time, this really happened. Kind of a Blair Witch thing. If anyone knows, please comment.
Penpal still gets a 5 star rating from me, just for the visceral reaction it induced in me. I've added it to my favs of the year and also my all time favs. All scary books should be this scary.
This book was very nostalgic for me. It made me recall my childhood. Like the narrator I grew up in a rural area during a time when kids spent most of the day outside if they weren't in school. Exploring and discovering was a big part of being outside, but aside from seeing the odd snake or two, nothing bad ever really happened. The entire time I was reading of the narrator's explorations, however, I felt there was a cloud hanging over him every second, for years. There was always danger lurking and it made me so apprehensive and scared for him. The narrator is, of course, completely unaware of this as a child. I read about his innocence, biting my nails all the while. It was terrifying.
It bugged me that the narrator's mother didn't make her child more aware. Obviously as readers we aren't let in on the whole story, but it kind of seemed like his mother became aware of this danger at a certain point, and aside from calling the police once, it was business as usual. Her son was still allowed to go outside and explore. I don't know if I could let my child leave my sight, knowing what she knew. She never told her son! Never made him aware that there was someone out there with questionable intentions. I'm sure it would've been a difficult thing to tell a 6 year old, but still, there should've been some way. Certainly letting a child galavant around in the woods as he used to would be out of the question?
The ending kind of bugged me. I felt throughout the book that we weren't ever given enough information, and that was true in the case of the ending as well. We aren't given any information about the antagonist at all. No resolution as to anything, we don't hear about the police getting involved or anything. I also thought it odd that Josh's father and the narrator's mom just dug about in an unmarked grave, moving bodies and objects and tainting all the evidence. Why didn't they call the police the instant it was discovered?? It didn't seem to make sense.
One thread that never made sense to me either was the shark floatie. The narrator mentions in Footsteps that there is a floatie shaped like a shark, and then years later Mrs. Maggie gives the boys a shark floatie for them to play with in the lake. Was there supposed to be a connection? It wasn't the exact same floatie, was it? I also could never figure out if the antagonist was somehow connected to Mrs. Maggie and I just never picked up on it. She just seemed like an arbitrarily creepy character sort of shoved in the story, and I couldn't figure out if she mattered or not.
Is this a true story?? I know it was originally posted on Reddit and made to sound like something that actually happened to the author as a child. At the end of the ebook there is a very official looking police report with names blocked out that details the narrator's mother's first contact with the police regarding the polaroids. I still can't figure out if it's authentic, and google isn't helping. I suppose it's scarier if you're thinking the whole time, this really happened. Kind of a Blair Witch thing. If anyone knows, please comment.
Penpal still gets a 5 star rating from me, just for the visceral reaction it induced in me. I've added it to my favs of the year and also my all time favs. All scary books should be this scary.
October 25, 2023
Just, no. Least favorite book of the year so far.
July 26, 2013
There is a ridiculous amount of hype around this book. Just look on amazon. There are 216 five star reviews right now and only 21 one/two star reviews. Reviewers fawn over how disturbingly horrifying the story is. How original it is. The gut-wrenching ending. Etc. My interest was piqued. I didn't know about the backstory of the book. How it evolved from Reddit, and got funded on kickstarter, and whatnot, but I guess that makes a lot of sense.
There is a creepy story in here. Most chapters end with an urban legend sort of "twist" (some more effectively than others), and many of these endings are, indeed, fairly creepy. And this is supposed to be a creepy book, so I guess it has to get some points for doing what it's supposed to do regardless of everything else that's wrong with it, which is pretty much everything else.
Dathan Auerbach's writing is almost unreadable. Every sentence screams for an editor. It reads like the sort of work you expect to get as a first draft in a college freshman writing workshop. Or maybe a second draft (the one where you go through with a thesaurus and try to make it sound more intellectual). There's no distinct voice. The main character rarely reads as the age he's supposed to be. And it frequently falls back on trite nonsense like "...the world is a cruel place made crueler by man."
The structure is all over the place. Chapters jump back and forth in the timeline of the story, as each chapter is meant to be a self-contained short. This wouldn't be such a problem, except that the character seems to have the same cognitive abilities regardless of whether he's five or fourteen making it impossible to keep track of how old he is supposed to be and leading to a general sense of confusion.
As for the ending that everyone raves about, while it contains a few potentially disturbing elements, it is particularly weighed down and practically destroyed by over-narration.
This was a let-down. I don't think I'll ever trust such unanimously good reviews again. On the plus side, it's really short.
There is a creepy story in here. Most chapters end with an urban legend sort of "twist" (some more effectively than others), and many of these endings are, indeed, fairly creepy. And this is supposed to be a creepy book, so I guess it has to get some points for doing what it's supposed to do regardless of everything else that's wrong with it, which is pretty much everything else.
Dathan Auerbach's writing is almost unreadable. Every sentence screams for an editor. It reads like the sort of work you expect to get as a first draft in a college freshman writing workshop. Or maybe a second draft (the one where you go through with a thesaurus and try to make it sound more intellectual). There's no distinct voice. The main character rarely reads as the age he's supposed to be. And it frequently falls back on trite nonsense like "...the world is a cruel place made crueler by man."
The structure is all over the place. Chapters jump back and forth in the timeline of the story, as each chapter is meant to be a self-contained short. This wouldn't be such a problem, except that the character seems to have the same cognitive abilities regardless of whether he's five or fourteen making it impossible to keep track of how old he is supposed to be and leading to a general sense of confusion.
As for the ending that everyone raves about, while it contains a few potentially disturbing elements, it is particularly weighed down and practically destroyed by over-narration.
This was a let-down. I don't think I'll ever trust such unanimously good reviews again. On the plus side, it's really short.
May 8, 2023
thanks i have nightmares now 🐈
June 26, 2018
(4.5 stars)
Wow. So this book, PenPal is one of those books that when you mention it among bookworms, people either really loved it or they really hated it.
I'm in the "really loved it" camp.
If I had to hedge a bet, I'd say that the reason people might not get on with this story is because of the non linear format. There's not a story that starts right "here" and takes you through to the "end".
It's basically a series of stories that are connected and involve all the same characters but the timeline bounces around from the protagonist being 6 years old and in Kindergarten to different stages of his life--sometimes in the same like 50 pages or so.
This format makes sense because I learned that this book is based on a series of reddit stories the author posted that became so popular, he self published PenPal as a response to the popularity and encouragement of his fan base.
I actually loved it. The disjointed quality lends itself to the mystery surrounding the strange events the protagonist is wrestling with--we the reader get to be a part of the discovery and it's equal parts creepy as hell and disturbing (especially if you're a parent). The foreboding and tension grows with each "section" until we come to the conclusion.
That's all I'm going to say about that. I didn't give it the full five stars because I wish it was a little more fleshed out instead of being a little over 200 pages, it could have easily been a solid 300-400 and could be a really decent novel but I also think it's fine the way it is, so it didn't lose too much integrity with me.
I was hooked from the very beginning and I loved every unsettling moment--shed a few tears too. This one lingered. I'm very much anticipating his book Bad Man coming in August.
Wow. So this book, PenPal is one of those books that when you mention it among bookworms, people either really loved it or they really hated it.
I'm in the "really loved it" camp.
If I had to hedge a bet, I'd say that the reason people might not get on with this story is because of the non linear format. There's not a story that starts right "here" and takes you through to the "end".
It's basically a series of stories that are connected and involve all the same characters but the timeline bounces around from the protagonist being 6 years old and in Kindergarten to different stages of his life--sometimes in the same like 50 pages or so.
This format makes sense because I learned that this book is based on a series of reddit stories the author posted that became so popular, he self published PenPal as a response to the popularity and encouragement of his fan base.
I actually loved it. The disjointed quality lends itself to the mystery surrounding the strange events the protagonist is wrestling with--we the reader get to be a part of the discovery and it's equal parts creepy as hell and disturbing (especially if you're a parent). The foreboding and tension grows with each "section" until we come to the conclusion.
That's all I'm going to say about that. I didn't give it the full five stars because I wish it was a little more fleshed out instead of being a little over 200 pages, it could have easily been a solid 300-400 and could be a really decent novel but I also think it's fine the way it is, so it didn't lose too much integrity with me.
I was hooked from the very beginning and I loved every unsettling moment--shed a few tears too. This one lingered. I'm very much anticipating his book Bad Man coming in August.
June 14, 2014
I wrote a review of this yesterday that I wanted to let simmer a bit before posting. Of course, now I can’t find it on my computer & I’m sure it was totally much more brilliant than this attempt is, but I’m so tired of thinking about my own thoughts, I’m putting this up just to get it over with.
Being a mother makes for some utterly terrifying & panic-attack inducing moments while reading this, but sadly it also makes some of it deeply ridiculous. The Balloon Project = not for my kid, thanks. As soon as that activity came up, I immediately thought to myself that the potential for creepiness was way too high for me to ever allow my son to participate in this in real life. Auerbach does a lot of very spooky things very effectively in the beginning, to the point where there were chapters in this book that I could only read a few lines of before I found myself having to set it down to hyperventilate & then go make sure that G was okay & that no one was peering through the window at him. I’m thinking specifically of when the narrator (henceforth to be referred to as Dathan, even though I know this is fiction, because I don’t want to write “the narrator” six times) receives a Polaroid of himself in the mail and his mom calls the police because it has no postmark & Dathan then realizes what the metallic “robot” sounds he & his friend Josh had been hearing when they were playing in the woods – eeek! Also, the chapter about Boxes the cat was almost too much for me to handle.
But events became so frustratingly implausible for me about halfway in. I started to lose it specifically when The unsettling atmosphere of this book is still with me, days after reading it. I suspect that the next time we go to the reservoir, or do any of the things I was doing the day I was reading this, I’ll remember bits of it & be spooked a bit. But ultimately, what had the potential to be great ended up being merely okay & I think my disappointment in how this all turned out is what I’ll remember most.
Being a mother makes for some utterly terrifying & panic-attack inducing moments while reading this, but sadly it also makes some of it deeply ridiculous. The Balloon Project = not for my kid, thanks. As soon as that activity came up, I immediately thought to myself that the potential for creepiness was way too high for me to ever allow my son to participate in this in real life. Auerbach does a lot of very spooky things very effectively in the beginning, to the point where there were chapters in this book that I could only read a few lines of before I found myself having to set it down to hyperventilate & then go make sure that G was okay & that no one was peering through the window at him. I’m thinking specifically of when the narrator (henceforth to be referred to as Dathan, even though I know this is fiction, because I don’t want to write “the narrator” six times) receives a Polaroid of himself in the mail and his mom calls the police because it has no postmark & Dathan then realizes what the metallic “robot” sounds he & his friend Josh had been hearing when they were playing in the woods – eeek! Also, the chapter about Boxes the cat was almost too much for me to handle.
But events became so frustratingly implausible for me about halfway in. I started to lose it specifically when The unsettling atmosphere of this book is still with me, days after reading it. I suspect that the next time we go to the reservoir, or do any of the things I was doing the day I was reading this, I’ll remember bits of it & be spooked a bit. But ultimately, what had the potential to be great ended up being merely okay & I think my disappointment in how this all turned out is what I’ll remember most.
February 7, 2013
It really saddens me when I don't like a book, but can see a lot of potential in it. Penpal is just such a book.
The underlying story in the book is really interesting, but the execution is very weak. The story really suffers because of the author's decision to tell it non-chronologically. The closest thing to a climax happens way too early in the book. The language and writing style isn't particularly great, and a lot of the dialogue just doesn't feel genuine at all.
There are some gaping plot holes as well. Beware of the spoilered text below:
All of that said, I hope Auerbach continues to write. I could see real potential in this book, which is why it was frustrating to come away disliking it so strongly. If he gets himself a good editor instead of doing everything himself (this book was crowdfunded through Kickstarter if you're unaware), he could do great things.
The underlying story in the book is really interesting, but the execution is very weak. The story really suffers because of the author's decision to tell it non-chronologically. The closest thing to a climax happens way too early in the book. The language and writing style isn't particularly great, and a lot of the dialogue just doesn't feel genuine at all.
There are some gaping plot holes as well. Beware of the spoilered text below:
All of that said, I hope Auerbach continues to write. I could see real potential in this book, which is why it was frustrating to come away disliking it so strongly. If he gets himself a good editor instead of doing everything himself (this book was crowdfunded through Kickstarter if you're unaware), he could do great things.
July 23, 2016
Well, I wanted to like this - I did. It's an interesting story with some genuinely creepy moments but the execution left a lot to be desired.
1) All the reminiscing and waxing philosophical really bogs down the action and suspense.
2) Only a handful of interesting and scary things happen but it takes so long to get to the point because everything is padded with prose.
3) It seems like another half-dozen things could have happened to truly make the story dynamic and chilling. As it was everything freaky doesn't seem to have an impact on the narrator despite nothing ever getting resolved.
4) The mom's constant evasion and flat out failure to communicate information to the narrator is ridiculous. It strains credulity why a mother wouldn't warn her son of the danger she suspects or not make police aware of every clear and concerning threat to him.
5) Somehow the narrator is locked out of the loop on crucial information - not just to him but in police investigations concerning others. It just felt contrived the narrator learned about so many things well after the fact when he might have valuable information.
Basically not enough thrills, chills, or a satisfying payoff to warrant readers suspending disbelief as much as they have to. I wish I enjoyed it more but, mostly, I felt a lot of the story fizzled out when it should be building momentum.
1) All the reminiscing and waxing philosophical really bogs down the action and suspense.
2) Only a handful of interesting and scary things happen but it takes so long to get to the point because everything is padded with prose.
3) It seems like another half-dozen things could have happened to truly make the story dynamic and chilling. As it was everything freaky doesn't seem to have an impact on the narrator despite nothing ever getting resolved.
4) The mom's constant evasion and flat out failure to communicate information to the narrator is ridiculous. It strains credulity why a mother wouldn't warn her son of the danger she suspects or not make police aware of every clear and concerning threat to him.
5) Somehow the narrator is locked out of the loop on crucial information - not just to him but in police investigations concerning others. It just felt contrived the narrator learned about so many things well after the fact when he might have valuable information.
Basically not enough thrills, chills, or a satisfying payoff to warrant readers suspending disbelief as much as they have to. I wish I enjoyed it more but, mostly, I felt a lot of the story fizzled out when it should be building momentum.
March 2, 2019
I absolutely loved the first half and understand why this has a cult following. Once I got about halfway through it started to become confusing (in a bad way). Overall, very creepy but I think I would have enjoyed this more had I just read it in it's initial format on reddit.
Link to my video review:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O156v...
Link to my video review:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O156v...
August 9, 2013
A potentially great creepy story hidden beneath a steaming pile of deuce. The writing is bad. Like, really bad.
The author attempts to use nonlinear progression to tell the story, which can be incredibly effective if it is well-executed. In this case, though, it creates a muddled mess of language that relies on a formulaic chapter structure to get the point across. Each chapter rambles on unnecessarily, and concludes with a twist of some sort. This is gimmicky, and it loses any potential effectiveness due to consistent use. The writing quality is very poor, and reminds me of a first year university paper, crammed full of fluff words to try and meet the minimum length requirement.
Another thing that ruined this book for me is the fact that the author clearly has NO IDEA how children talk, interact, or react. The story is told retrospectively, but the character never reads as the age that he claims to be. Actually, the main character is so poorly developed that it's kind of like an awkward 20-something is sort of rambling through an empty husk that just looks like a 5-year-old. SpooOOooOooooky. Really, though, kids are not like this, and it really, really ruined the delivery.
Two stars because the story is kinda cool and kinda creepy, but holy poops is this ever dreck.
The author attempts to use nonlinear progression to tell the story, which can be incredibly effective if it is well-executed. In this case, though, it creates a muddled mess of language that relies on a formulaic chapter structure to get the point across. Each chapter rambles on unnecessarily, and concludes with a twist of some sort. This is gimmicky, and it loses any potential effectiveness due to consistent use. The writing quality is very poor, and reminds me of a first year university paper, crammed full of fluff words to try and meet the minimum length requirement.
Another thing that ruined this book for me is the fact that the author clearly has NO IDEA how children talk, interact, or react. The story is told retrospectively, but the character never reads as the age that he claims to be. Actually, the main character is so poorly developed that it's kind of like an awkward 20-something is sort of rambling through an empty husk that just looks like a 5-year-old. SpooOOooOooooky. Really, though, kids are not like this, and it really, really ruined the delivery.
Two stars because the story is kinda cool and kinda creepy, but holy poops is this ever dreck.
Read
July 18, 2022so unsettling
will read anything else this author writes
will read anything else this author writes
January 9, 2021
First things first: I'm a huge fan of r/nosleep. There's stories I read there years ago that still haunt me to this day, while there are "professionally" published horror books that were laughably bad.
Penpal is amongst the most infamous stories in all the "What's the one creepypasta that fucked you up the most" threads, and I was very excited to see it was turned into a book; "Oh neat, I don't have to click on post after post (sometimes, there's no links to previous/ next chapters in a multi chapter story, and having to hunt for them takes you right out of the atmosphere), and it'll be less disjointed, they MUST have edited it to form the book, right?"
Well, they did, but it's not the kind of editing I was hoping for. This has all the problems of being a serialized story where the author is kind of making it up as they go along because it grew more popular than he expected and the people wanted more, then the problems of having to sophisticate/ up the word count to turn it into a "proper" book, and then some.
-There are a lot of plot holes.
There's more but I'm not going to list everything. I recognize that some, if not most of those, come from the aforementioned "the author was making it up as he went along", but shouldn't he have caught those in the editing process?
-Speaking of which, the scrambled timeline does the story absolutely no favours. The non-linear storytelling is a neat device that can help heighten the suspense, but it's not written well in Penpal. It's clear from the beginning that the story was written this way, but there's a number of problems that could have been fixed had the writer tried to look at the story from a linear perspective (and later scrambled it to taste, I'm not saying that he should have used a linear timeline and that THAT was the biggest issue with the book) Now, I didn't know where I was in the timeline most of the time.
-There are a number of convenient events that are just there to further the plot or make things more tragic.
And, related to that, how
Even if you ignore all of the above because "it's just a creepypasta, it's not that deep, you expected too much" (I disagree because I've read some really good, airtight creepypastas; plus, creepypastas are for free online so nothing wasted there but a few minutes, while I paid for Penpal) and you're just supposed to roll with it and not think about it too much, there's one more issue: too much padding and rambling, and too little payoff/ horror. There are some genuinely unsettling scenes () but there's so. much. padding. There's unnecessary, long descriptions in every chapter that made my eyes glaze over with boredom every time; furthermore, the author had a thesaurus, and he wasn't afraid to use it! There's formal words in simple, informal sentences that had no business being there besides being an attempt at flexing; look, ma, I'm a real writer, I use synonyms!
One last thing: the chapter "Footsteps" doesn't fit in with the rest of the book. It's pretty obvious that it was the first chapter that started it all, and the author decided to continue because of its popularity. I don't get it. It doesn't fit.
Let's wrap this up because I'm tired of writing this review and the book ain't that deep: it's getting 2 stars instead of 1 because it managed to be sorta entertaining for a while, and it did creep me out sometimes. I didn't hate the book, but I couldn't give it a higher rating. The ideas are there, but the execution was shoddy and it needed some major editing.
Penpal is amongst the most infamous stories in all the "What's the one creepypasta that fucked you up the most" threads, and I was very excited to see it was turned into a book; "Oh neat, I don't have to click on post after post (sometimes, there's no links to previous/ next chapters in a multi chapter story, and having to hunt for them takes you right out of the atmosphere), and it'll be less disjointed, they MUST have edited it to form the book, right?"
Well, they did, but it's not the kind of editing I was hoping for. This has all the problems of being a serialized story where the author is kind of making it up as they go along because it grew more popular than he expected and the people wanted more, then the problems of having to sophisticate/ up the word count to turn it into a "proper" book, and then some.
-There are a lot of plot holes.
There's more but I'm not going to list everything. I recognize that some, if not most of those, come from the aforementioned "the author was making it up as he went along", but shouldn't he have caught those in the editing process?
-Speaking of which, the scrambled timeline does the story absolutely no favours. The non-linear storytelling is a neat device that can help heighten the suspense, but it's not written well in Penpal. It's clear from the beginning that the story was written this way, but there's a number of problems that could have been fixed had the writer tried to look at the story from a linear perspective (and later scrambled it to taste, I'm not saying that he should have used a linear timeline and that THAT was the biggest issue with the book) Now, I didn't know where I was in the timeline most of the time.
-There are a number of convenient events that are just there to further the plot or make things more tragic.
And, related to that, how
Even if you ignore all of the above because "it's just a creepypasta, it's not that deep, you expected too much" (I disagree because I've read some really good, airtight creepypastas; plus, creepypastas are for free online so nothing wasted there but a few minutes, while I paid for Penpal) and you're just supposed to roll with it and not think about it too much, there's one more issue: too much padding and rambling, and too little payoff/ horror. There are some genuinely unsettling scenes () but there's so. much. padding. There's unnecessary, long descriptions in every chapter that made my eyes glaze over with boredom every time; furthermore, the author had a thesaurus, and he wasn't afraid to use it! There's formal words in simple, informal sentences that had no business being there besides being an attempt at flexing; look, ma, I'm a real writer, I use synonyms!
One last thing: the chapter "Footsteps" doesn't fit in with the rest of the book. It's pretty obvious that it was the first chapter that started it all, and the author decided to continue because of its popularity. I don't get it. It doesn't fit.
Let's wrap this up because I'm tired of writing this review and the book ain't that deep: it's getting 2 stars instead of 1 because it managed to be sorta entertaining for a while, and it did creep me out sometimes. I didn't hate the book, but I couldn't give it a higher rating. The ideas are there, but the execution was shoddy and it needed some major editing.
March 16, 2019
”How far can you go into the woods?”
A man investigates the seemingly unrelated unusual, tragic, and horrific events of his childhood in an attempt to finally understand them.
What a strange reading experience I had with this one. As I was reading it I was constantly questioning whether I was actually enjoying it? “Is this it? Where’s the creepiness?” But then during the last quarter or so, when everything started coming together and crazy things were revealed, I started to fully appreciate the creep factor. I looked back on things that weren’t initially unsettling, but with my new insight they quickly became very unsettling!!
After I finished I spent hours analysing and talking through theories with @brittreads and I’m STILL thinking about it over a week later, so it has really had an impact on me! It’s the kind of book that would certainly benefit with a reread.
I wasn’t a huge fan of the writing style though. As far as I’m aware this story started off as a reddit post, upon which Auerbach kept building the story - and it very much reads as a Reddit post. I love Reddit, but to read an entire book in this style was just... eh.
There’s also some parts were Auerbach just goes into far too much detail about mundane things that I don’t care about. For example, when the kids are trying to create this map. That was incredibly tedious - I almost wanted to skim over those parts to get to the good bits!!
This book has left me with more questions than answers, which usually annoys me, but I’ve found it quite fun to ponder and fill in the gaps myself, as well as read theories online etc. Certainly a memorable reading experience!
3.5 stars.
A man investigates the seemingly unrelated unusual, tragic, and horrific events of his childhood in an attempt to finally understand them.
What a strange reading experience I had with this one. As I was reading it I was constantly questioning whether I was actually enjoying it? “Is this it? Where’s the creepiness?” But then during the last quarter or so, when everything started coming together and crazy things were revealed, I started to fully appreciate the creep factor. I looked back on things that weren’t initially unsettling, but with my new insight they quickly became very unsettling!!
After I finished I spent hours analysing and talking through theories with @brittreads and I’m STILL thinking about it over a week later, so it has really had an impact on me! It’s the kind of book that would certainly benefit with a reread.
I wasn’t a huge fan of the writing style though. As far as I’m aware this story started off as a reddit post, upon which Auerbach kept building the story - and it very much reads as a Reddit post. I love Reddit, but to read an entire book in this style was just... eh.
There’s also some parts were Auerbach just goes into far too much detail about mundane things that I don’t care about. For example, when the kids are trying to create this map. That was incredibly tedious - I almost wanted to skim over those parts to get to the good bits!!
This book has left me with more questions than answers, which usually annoys me, but I’ve found it quite fun to ponder and fill in the gaps myself, as well as read theories online etc. Certainly a memorable reading experience!
3.5 stars.
August 7, 2012
I read Penpal in 100 degree weather and still got chills, now that's great storytelling! Dathan grabs the reader's attention with the tenacity of a dog in possession of a juicy bone and doesn't let go until the final climax. Every chapter ends on a cliffhanger that leaves the reader with no choice but to turn the next page. Bravo Mr. Auerbach, can't wait for your next novel! I am recommending this book to all of my friends.
January 7, 2013
I made the mistake of buying into the hype of almost 100% 5 star reviews on Amazon, knowing full well that the book started as a Reddit Thread and that those reviews were probably the full-throated support of the community. I really wanted to like it, but this isn't a novel; it's glorified forum posts. The story is all "Telling" to the point where nobody seems to have any real personality. The structure was interesting, but formulaic (long semi-creepy story, twist ending, repeat in next section) and I just felt like it didn't come together very well in the end. I also felt like there were too many unanswered questions and too many instances where character's actions were unrealistic/unjustified.
Let it be known that I feel like a real heel when I give one-star reviews. So let me at least try to make amends by stating that I think Mr. Auerbach show potential--he's just not quite there yet. I think a few years of practice and rejection (no more self publishing, you) will sharpen him up into a great horror/suspense/thriller writer. When that day comes, I'd be willing to give his work another shot.
Let it be known that I feel like a real heel when I give one-star reviews. So let me at least try to make amends by stating that I think Mr. Auerbach show potential--he's just not quite there yet. I think a few years of practice and rejection (no more self publishing, you) will sharpen him up into a great horror/suspense/thriller writer. When that day comes, I'd be willing to give his work another shot.
January 7, 2023
What a brilliant book. Although I wanted more creepyness, the scary bits were good. Each chapter held a clue and a question which made me tap the kindle in anticipation for the next chapter. As this book jumps around in the past I was surprised that I kept up with how the actual events flowed. I liked it!
September 10, 2023
Super creepy and really freaked me out. Something about being stalked your entire childhood without knowing it is super unsettling. The ending is also super depressing and didn’t have to happen, which makes it super effective. Loved it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 19, 2021
3.5 stars? I think that's right. Not every moment of this boy's past seemed necessary at the time, but most of the reasoning is there at the end. Hang in there until then.
August 7, 2014
This book is heinously bad. It's so mechanically written. There is no passion in the prose, the characters are so lifeless, the twists are so predictable. It's not a good story, either. So many parts of it are uninteresting and unnecessary. When I was 2/3 of the way through this story, I still didn't even know what the plot was.
I'm honestly hesitant to even call this a horror novel. It's so boring and tame and, well, mechanical. We get it, Dathan Auerbach, you have and know how to use a thesaurus. Good writers aren't afraid to use the word "house" over and over. You won't see Cormac McCarthy call a house an "abode" or a "propery" or a "domicile" all on the same page. He'll just say "house" over and over again, because he's a strong writer with confidence in his voice, and it makes his writing beautiful and a pleasure to read. Not so with Dathan Auerbach. There's no personality here. The dialogue is stiff and everyone does things "playfully" while "chuckling." Ugh, shut the fuck up, you unbearable twats.
When you come to the end of it, you can't help but feel cheated. There's no plot to speak of here, not really, only a few loosely connected events (told, infuriatingly enough, out of order). Having a book with no real plot is fine, if you're a strong writer like Tao Lin or Sam Pink, or your book is actually about something. Like, a theme or a message or something. There isn't really anything to Penpal. It's a pretty empty experience with nothing to really make it all worthwhile.
I'm honestly hesitant to even call this a horror novel. It's so boring and tame and, well, mechanical. We get it, Dathan Auerbach, you have and know how to use a thesaurus. Good writers aren't afraid to use the word "house" over and over. You won't see Cormac McCarthy call a house an "abode" or a "propery" or a "domicile" all on the same page. He'll just say "house" over and over again, because he's a strong writer with confidence in his voice, and it makes his writing beautiful and a pleasure to read. Not so with Dathan Auerbach. There's no personality here. The dialogue is stiff and everyone does things "playfully" while "chuckling." Ugh, shut the fuck up, you unbearable twats.
When you come to the end of it, you can't help but feel cheated. There's no plot to speak of here, not really, only a few loosely connected events (told, infuriatingly enough, out of order). Having a book with no real plot is fine, if you're a strong writer like Tao Lin or Sam Pink, or your book is actually about something. Like, a theme or a message or something. There isn't really anything to Penpal. It's a pretty empty experience with nothing to really make it all worthwhile.
August 13, 2018
I would have given a lower rating if it weren't for the tension and fear this book instilled in me.
The book follows the story of a young boy who grows up in a small town. Each chapter describes an event in his life. The events are disconnected and are placed in an almost random order, each ending on a climax. The further into the book you are, the more you are able to place the events in sequence and realise that something horrific has been stalking the main character.
This book deserves merit for being beautifully atmospheric in its description of a small town - it's definitely akin to Stephen King's small town descriptions and creates a similar thought pressed in the back of your head that screams something is wrong. The author successfully maintains a suffocating tension throughout the book which pulls you in. Ironically, the stale writing seems to be responsible for the tension.
After three chapters I realised that the author was recycling the template for each chapter - the endings that had first raised the hair on my neck became predictable. The dialogue resorts to cliches and the characters are one-dimensional - if
Edit: After three years of still recalling this book from time to time, I've decided to up it to four stars.
The book follows the story of a young boy who grows up in a small town. Each chapter describes an event in his life. The events are disconnected and are placed in an almost random order, each ending on a climax. The further into the book you are, the more you are able to place the events in sequence and realise that something horrific has been stalking the main character.
This book deserves merit for being beautifully atmospheric in its description of a small town - it's definitely akin to Stephen King's small town descriptions and creates a similar thought pressed in the back of your head that screams something is wrong. The author successfully maintains a suffocating tension throughout the book which pulls you in. Ironically, the stale writing seems to be responsible for the tension.
After three chapters I realised that the author was recycling the template for each chapter - the endings that had first raised the hair on my neck became predictable. The dialogue resorts to cliches and the characters are one-dimensional - if
Edit: After three years of still recalling this book from time to time, I've decided to up it to four stars.
October 23, 2023
I think if you go into this expecting in-your-face creepiness, you'll be disappointed. This is a book about atmosphere and the unsettling feelings the story creates. Don't get me wrong, there is definitely an eerie plot and you will get *some* answers, but that open-endedness, especially the revelations that come much later (perhaps too late) in life for the protagonist is what adds to the dread. It's really 6 stories that tie together loosely, with a clincher at the end that brings it all together. It didn't hit me hard, per se, but it's overall vibe and the nostalgic quality to the writing made me appreciate this a lot.
November 20, 2022
what had started
surreptitiously vague
somehow got creepier
as a quicksand danger
tinted every page. ♡
surreptitiously vague
somehow got creepier
as a quicksand danger
tinted every page. ♡
February 23, 2020
Maybe it's a North American thing, or a generational thing, or...something...but here's what I believe makes PENPAL so masterful at getting under a reader's skin: It could've been your childhood in these pages.
Take mine, for example. A Canadian child of the '80s who grew up in Toronto, firmly and happily middle class. An only child, close to her mother, who loved her pets and had a tough start in kindergarten (due in part to a few relocations of my father's job) so was very attached to the few super-close friends I made. All of this? This is the totally innocuous groundwork Auerbach lays to scare the ever-loving hell out of you for 200+ pages. "But how?" you must be asking. "What's scary about any of what you just wrote there?"
Nothing. And that's my point. The things that happen in PENPAL are just believable enough - hyper-believable, if you're someone whose upbringing so closely mirrored that of the main character's story - that you'll be shuddering at the end of every chapter thinking, "Holy hell. Was this happening behind the scenes when I was 6 years old, too? Did my mom protect me from knowing the really bad shit she thought I was too young to understand, or should never grow up knowing about??"
PENPAL is a series of loosely (and yet...tightly, too) threaded tales coming from the childhood of, I suppose, Dathan Auerbach himself. We're introduced to it all by a narrator (Dathan?) who tells us he's only recently gotten his mother to finally piece together some things from his childhood that had always bothered him, and proceeds to reach back and forth in time to tell us what he now knows. It's a quick read; I tore through it in about a day and a half, and as much as I kinda wanted to hide under my bed and lock my Kindle in a drawer, I just kept going back for more. The story that ultimately became the book first came to life in a creepypasta sort of way on Reddit (which may explain why any editing or stylistic issues weren't much of a problem for me in this case: I felt like I was reading great creepypasta, which is just held to a whole separate set of criteria, really), and while I never saw it there, I'd heard vague rumblings about how good this guy was at putting together a spine-tingler. I knew next to nothing else about the story when I bought a copy for myself and for my friend C, who is, as far as I know, in the process of finishing reading it herself right now. I'd recommend you, too, go in knowing as little as possible. It'll bend your mind a few extra ways if you're uninformed.
On the surface you'll think you're getting a coming-of-age story about this kid, who has all sorts of colourful anecdotes about his primary-school years with his best friend Josh and his pet kitty named Boxes (it makes sense in context, as much as any pet's name makes sense to a five- or six-year-old kid) and his mom and his neighbour Mrs. Maggie and a cool school project where every kid in class attaches a postcard to a balloon requesting that, if anyone finds it, the recipient should write back and tell the class how far it travelled and a bit about their town, and so on. Thus the "penpal" reference. Sounds quaint and innocent, doesn't it?
Yeah. Not so much.
With such a spare skeleton on which to build a story, you'd think it might be tough to make anything truly frightening happen within the pages. But Auerbach pulls it off in every chapter without fail, each one finishing with a flourish that makes you want to put your hands over your eyes and unsee the mental images that his words have put into your head. It's not disgustingly graphic or schlocky for shock value; it's simple, like the best urban legends out there ("...and when they got home and looked back, they saw that a hook was still stuck in the handle of their car door.") and that's what makes it so goddamn effective. It's not severed heads; it's whispers in hallways. The former makes you jump in your seat at the cinema, sure, but it's the latter that will stay with you when you turn off your light before bed.
It sure as hell did for me.
Some of the things I've seen criticized in other reviews here - the non-linear method of storytelling from one chapter to the next, for instance, or the obsession with detail that makes Auerbach describe a setting for three pages when a paragraph may have sufficed - actually worked for me. It's the way a little kid thinks. And it's definitely the way a grown man is going to try to relate a story from his youth to a reader. It felt authentic enough to me. You say tomato, etc. And, sure, there's a bit of dialogue between the two young best friends at points that feels way too grown-up and stilted, but again, it's about recall...and anyway, do you not remember how desperate you were to sound grown-up in front of your buddies when you were in grade school? As I said, YMMV, but for me, it added rather than detracted from the whole experience. And make no mistake: this book is an experience. The reading of it just feels...unlike most other things you'll ever pick up.
My reason for not going whole hog and giving it five stars is a bit hard to explain without spoilers, but there was just a slight limp at the very end, and in retrospect one or two questions I'd have liked to see explored a bit better earlier on. But that's a very small criticism. Overall this book chilled me in ways I've not experienced since Danielewski's HOUSE OF LEAVES and classic Stephen King. Maybe it's in part because I, too, had a class project wherein I released a balloon into the air asking some stranger to write me back, and none of us at the time - not me, my friends, my teachers or my parents - even considered a possible dark side to such an endeavour. But maybe, even if your class didn't do anything like that, you'll find yourself bracing as each chapter nears its close, because Auerbach just taps into some primal thing that connects us as humans who were once children, and gives words to fears we never even realized we should've had.
And yes, for those who were following my status updates: I did have a nightmare after I finished reading this in bed. Consider yourselves warned.
Edited to add: Here is the video-slash-audio version of the creepypasta for those who asked. Creeeeeeepy.
Take mine, for example. A Canadian child of the '80s who grew up in Toronto, firmly and happily middle class. An only child, close to her mother, who loved her pets and had a tough start in kindergarten (due in part to a few relocations of my father's job) so was very attached to the few super-close friends I made. All of this? This is the totally innocuous groundwork Auerbach lays to scare the ever-loving hell out of you for 200+ pages. "But how?" you must be asking. "What's scary about any of what you just wrote there?"
Nothing. And that's my point. The things that happen in PENPAL are just believable enough - hyper-believable, if you're someone whose upbringing so closely mirrored that of the main character's story - that you'll be shuddering at the end of every chapter thinking, "Holy hell. Was this happening behind the scenes when I was 6 years old, too? Did my mom protect me from knowing the really bad shit she thought I was too young to understand, or should never grow up knowing about??"
PENPAL is a series of loosely (and yet...tightly, too) threaded tales coming from the childhood of, I suppose, Dathan Auerbach himself. We're introduced to it all by a narrator (Dathan?) who tells us he's only recently gotten his mother to finally piece together some things from his childhood that had always bothered him, and proceeds to reach back and forth in time to tell us what he now knows. It's a quick read; I tore through it in about a day and a half, and as much as I kinda wanted to hide under my bed and lock my Kindle in a drawer, I just kept going back for more. The story that ultimately became the book first came to life in a creepypasta sort of way on Reddit (which may explain why any editing or stylistic issues weren't much of a problem for me in this case: I felt like I was reading great creepypasta, which is just held to a whole separate set of criteria, really), and while I never saw it there, I'd heard vague rumblings about how good this guy was at putting together a spine-tingler. I knew next to nothing else about the story when I bought a copy for myself and for my friend C, who is, as far as I know, in the process of finishing reading it herself right now. I'd recommend you, too, go in knowing as little as possible. It'll bend your mind a few extra ways if you're uninformed.
On the surface you'll think you're getting a coming-of-age story about this kid, who has all sorts of colourful anecdotes about his primary-school years with his best friend Josh and his pet kitty named Boxes (it makes sense in context, as much as any pet's name makes sense to a five- or six-year-old kid) and his mom and his neighbour Mrs. Maggie and a cool school project where every kid in class attaches a postcard to a balloon requesting that, if anyone finds it, the recipient should write back and tell the class how far it travelled and a bit about their town, and so on. Thus the "penpal" reference. Sounds quaint and innocent, doesn't it?
Yeah. Not so much.
With such a spare skeleton on which to build a story, you'd think it might be tough to make anything truly frightening happen within the pages. But Auerbach pulls it off in every chapter without fail, each one finishing with a flourish that makes you want to put your hands over your eyes and unsee the mental images that his words have put into your head. It's not disgustingly graphic or schlocky for shock value; it's simple, like the best urban legends out there ("...and when they got home and looked back, they saw that a hook was still stuck in the handle of their car door.") and that's what makes it so goddamn effective. It's not severed heads; it's whispers in hallways. The former makes you jump in your seat at the cinema, sure, but it's the latter that will stay with you when you turn off your light before bed.
It sure as hell did for me.
Some of the things I've seen criticized in other reviews here - the non-linear method of storytelling from one chapter to the next, for instance, or the obsession with detail that makes Auerbach describe a setting for three pages when a paragraph may have sufficed - actually worked for me. It's the way a little kid thinks. And it's definitely the way a grown man is going to try to relate a story from his youth to a reader. It felt authentic enough to me. You say tomato, etc. And, sure, there's a bit of dialogue between the two young best friends at points that feels way too grown-up and stilted, but again, it's about recall...and anyway, do you not remember how desperate you were to sound grown-up in front of your buddies when you were in grade school? As I said, YMMV, but for me, it added rather than detracted from the whole experience. And make no mistake: this book is an experience. The reading of it just feels...unlike most other things you'll ever pick up.
My reason for not going whole hog and giving it five stars is a bit hard to explain without spoilers, but there was just a slight limp at the very end, and in retrospect one or two questions I'd have liked to see explored a bit better earlier on. But that's a very small criticism. Overall this book chilled me in ways I've not experienced since Danielewski's HOUSE OF LEAVES and classic Stephen King. Maybe it's in part because I, too, had a class project wherein I released a balloon into the air asking some stranger to write me back, and none of us at the time - not me, my friends, my teachers or my parents - even considered a possible dark side to such an endeavour. But maybe, even if your class didn't do anything like that, you'll find yourself bracing as each chapter nears its close, because Auerbach just taps into some primal thing that connects us as humans who were once children, and gives words to fears we never even realized we should've had.
And yes, for those who were following my status updates: I did have a nightmare after I finished reading this in bed. Consider yourselves warned.
Edited to add: Here is the video-slash-audio version of the creepypasta for those who asked. Creeeeeeepy.
July 2, 2022
Penpal apparently started life as a series of creepypasta posts on Reddit. Through chapters that skip back and forth in time, it tells the story of a boy who’s seemingly stalked throughout his life. The writing occasionally betrays its origins: the dialogue ranges from average to awful, and many sections feel over-described to pad out the narrative, a typical weakness of the from (i.e. serialised fiction posted online). The early chapters are the strongest, with a good sense of place and an engaging articulation of the narrator’s background. I could’ve verged on giving this 3.5/rounding up to 4 in the first half, but the sub-Point Horror climax and the ending are a bit of a mess; the timeline becomes too muddled for the emotional aspects to have any oomph. I still found it likeable, though, and I can see why it rose out of the morass of Creepy Reddit Stories to become a book. And for a self-published work, it's pretty impressive – mostly well edited, with decent pacing.
TinyLetter | Linktree
TinyLetter | Linktree
November 8, 2021
One of the creepiest stories I've read in a while.
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