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306 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 25, 2014
“You’re moving in with me?”
“Yes, pumpkin. I am moving in with you.”
“When did we talk about this exactly?”
“Actually, you might have left by then. But it doesn’t change the facts.”
“We’ve broken my bed,” I said, stating the obvious.
“In battle, sacrifices must be made, pumpkin.”....
“They’re mocking us,” I said.
“Nonsense. We just fucked so hard we broke your bed. They wish they were us. The natural order of sexual status has been restored.”
“Hands down, that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. I can pretty much feel my legs just falling wide open for you right now.”
“Oh, god, no.” I covered my face with my hands. “Please don’t.”
“Shh. This is a private conversation.” He brushed hot feverish kisses up and down the lips of my sex. My stomach tensed so hard it hurt. “Look at you all pretty, pink and excited. Don’t worry, I’ll look after you.”
“If you don’t stop talking to my vagina I’m going to kill you.”
“You’re beautiful Anne’s pussy. Just beautiful. And I’m not mean like her. I’m on your side and I love you very much.”
“Whatever you’re imagining, it’s bigger.”
“I’m not imagining anything.”
“I’m serious, it’s basically a monster. I cannot control it.”
“Malcolm...”
“You’re pretty much going to need a whip and a chair to tame it, Anne.”
“Stop it.”
"Life`s a song, Anne. Let's play."
"You're the best boyfriend. Fake or not."
"Mal's playing and the music owned me, the smoothness of his movements and his absolute focus. His energy."
"Life’s a song, Anne. Let’s play."
Mal: High level of unhealthy codependency traits exhibited by both parties relationship possibly bordering on toxic
Anne: WTF?
Mal: Did magazine quiz. We need help. Especially you
Anne: ...
Mal: Booking us couples counseling. Tues 4:15 alright?
Anne: We are not going to counseling.
Mal: What’s wrong? Don’t you love me anymore?
Anne: Turning phone off now.
”Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Mal snorted. All of his intensity had evaporated into thin air, thank god. “We’re all good thanks bro. Just picking out names for our future children. Anne wants Malcolm Junior for a boy but I said no, absolutely not. Kid should at least have a chance at a life out form underneath the shadow of his old man.”
”That’s real big of you,” said Jimmy.
”I know, right? Being a parent is all about the sacrifices.”
“I FUCKING LOVE YOU, ANNE.” (Mal is completely wasted in this scene)
“Yeah, okay. Shut up now.” David tried to slap a hand over Mal’s mouth.
“AAAAAAANNNNNE!” My name was a long, drawn-out howling kind of noise, muffled at the last when David managed to cover his mouth. Muted grunts and snarling came next. “God damn it,” swore David. “He just fucking bit me.”
“My love shall not be silenced!” I did my best not to laugh.
“Mal? I’ve got a headache from you accidentally kicking me in the head. Do you mind being quiet?”
“You fell asleep so fast. What’s under here?” He toyed with the hem of my sleep shirt.
“You’ve forgotten already?” He dragged my T-shirt over my head and tossed it aside.
“Oh, breasts. Best present ever. Thanks, pumpkin.”
“You’re very welcome. I’m all about the giving on my birthday.”
“Make love. I meant make love … of course. I would never just stick my dick in you. I would make mad, passionate love to this sweet, sweet body of yours for days, no, weeks. It would be beautiful, pumpkin. There’d be little angels, and birdies, and you know … all just hanging around, watching. Perverts.”
“Pumpkin, stop rubbing your ass against me. We gotta go! I don’t have time to do you now. Prioritize, woman.”
This is one fucking fantastic book - Even better than Lick - Hands down Malcolm is my favorite in the Stage Dive Band members....you never know if he is serious or joking around.
I kinda thought the reason why he wanted Anne to be his pretend girlfriend was because of someone in his family wanting him to settle down....but for the book being so funny throughout...this is making my eyes water thinking about how sensitive and caring Malcolm really is.
Yeah - I got pissed at him when he forgot about Anne and was up on that skank...but then I loved how he dealt with Reese. Yes, he saw how Anne was being taken advantage of by her "so called" friends and Malcolm built up her self-esteem in order for her to create boundaries with others.
"You're twenty-seven years old, honey."
"And?"
"Isn't it time to start acting like a grown up?"
He spun on his heel to face me, arms out wide. “Life’s a song, Anne. Let’s play.”
“The point of me telling you my name, even when you already knew it, was so you’d give me yours. That’s how these things go.”
“You knew I knew?”
“The crazy eyes kinda gave it away.”
“Oh.”
A moment later, he groaned. “Never mind, this is taking too long. I’ll just make one up for you.”
“Anne.”
“Anne, what?
“Anne Rollins.”
A brilliant grin lit his face. “Anne Rollins. See, that wasn’t so tough.”
“Yes, pumpkin,” said Mal, his face deadly serious. “I am moving in with you.”
I cringed at the horrid nickname but chose to focus on the real concern for now. “When did we talk about this exactly?”
“Actually, you might have left by then. But it doesn’t change the facts.”
Dear Mal,
“Promise me something,” I said.
“Sure.”
I stopped, smiled. “You didn’t even hesitate.”
“You’re pissed about something.” He leaned down, making our conversation private despite the packed room. “What’s wrong?”
“Promise me you won’t sleep with her.” I nodded to the beast in question.”
“I won’t sleep with her,” said Mal.
“And you won’t have sex with her either.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Just to clarify.”
“What’d she do to you, Anne?”
“She insulted me. But it’s fine.” I just needed to know she’d never get near him. Now my soul was at peace. “Carry on with your partying.”
The slow curl of his lips made something hot and delicious unfurl deep in my stomach.
“Pumpkin, I’m always serious when it comes to you. Even when I’m messing around, I’m still serious as shit. Whatever you need, whatever I have to do. It’s been that way since we met. Haven’t you noticed yet? We’re fucking destined or something. I can’t help myself. It’s pathetic, really.”
“I FUCKING LOVE YOU, ANNE.”
“Yeah, okay. Shut up now.” David tried to slap a hand over Mal’s mouth. “AAAAAAANNNNNE!” My name was a long, drawn-out howling kind of noise, muffled at the last when David managed to cover his mouth. Muted grunts and snarling came next.
“God damn it,” swore David. “He just fucking bit me.”
“My love shall not be silenced!”
"Love you, baby.” David kissed her back. “Love you too.” He whispered something in her ear. Something that made her giggle.
“We can’t–my parents are here. Later.”
David’s mouth turned downward.
I pulled out my phone then hesitated. Ev had pissed me off, holding me up, but these people were also his family. They deserved to know he was still in one piece.
Anne: He’s at the practice hall
Ev: Thank you
David Ferris strode in not fifteen minutes later. He nodded to me, then picked up a guitar and plugged it in. As the first strains of noise rang out Mal opened one eye and saw David standing opposite him. Nothing was said. Time moved by, both sluggish and swift at once. The two of them played for hours.