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Behind Closed Doors: A True Story of Abuse, Neglect and Survival Against the Odds
Jenny grew up in a house where no-one was safe. Born one of five children in the East End, her childhood was spent in squalor and terror. Her father's violent beatings, humiliations, and sexual abuse were part of daily life; her mother - also his sexual victim and savagely beaten - was no source of help. Deprived of love and all comforts, the children would turn to each other for support and to the only adult they could trust, Auntie. This is the story of how Jenny, her sister Kim and brother Laurence, not only survived but ultimately transcended the unimaginable degradations heaped on them. With the power of love, cunning, the blackest of black humour and an indestructible self-belief, Jenny eventually broke free of her past.
273 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2005
About the author
Jenny Tomlin
17 books42 followersQUEEN of the misery memoir Jenny Tomlin, mother of actress Martine McCutcheon, is not as tragic as you might imagine.
Upbeat and truly happy in her life now, it's difficult to believe that she was sexually abused by her father, unprotected by her slovenly mother and then married a violent man who battered her senseless even when she was pregnant with Martine.
Her disturbing story was told in her memoirs Behind Closed Doors and Silent Sisters, which became bestsellers, enabling her to buy a 12-acre French farmhouse in the Dordogne with her second husband, Alan Tomlin, a bodyguard she married in Barbados nine years ago.
Then, of course, there's her famous daughter.
You can hear Martine laughing in the background as her mother describes their relationship now.
"She's my best friend. No matter what life throws at her, she has such a positive outlook. She's strong mentally, she's funny, witty, clever. "Because I had her so young [at 19], it's almost like we're mates. I'm so proud of that fact because I never had that with my mother."
At the farm, Jenny, 52, runs an English grocery shop and tea garden, serving up full English breakfasts and afternoon teas to hungry customers. She moved to France to escape the many bad memories, and experience a more tranquil setting.
Upbeat and truly happy in her life now, it's difficult to believe that she was sexually abused by her father, unprotected by her slovenly mother and then married a violent man who battered her senseless even when she was pregnant with Martine.
Her disturbing story was told in her memoirs Behind Closed Doors and Silent Sisters, which became bestsellers, enabling her to buy a 12-acre French farmhouse in the Dordogne with her second husband, Alan Tomlin, a bodyguard she married in Barbados nine years ago.
Then, of course, there's her famous daughter.
You can hear Martine laughing in the background as her mother describes their relationship now.
"She's my best friend. No matter what life throws at her, she has such a positive outlook. She's strong mentally, she's funny, witty, clever. "Because I had her so young [at 19], it's almost like we're mates. I'm so proud of that fact because I never had that with my mother."
At the farm, Jenny, 52, runs an English grocery shop and tea garden, serving up full English breakfasts and afternoon teas to hungry customers. She moved to France to escape the many bad memories, and experience a more tranquil setting.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
October 29, 2016
Tough going, although was strange to believe that this was written by Martine McCutcheon's mother! Well presented though.
February 10, 2012
If you live outside of the UK, you probably don't know who Martine McCutcheon is, but she is a big celebrity there, as a central character in the popular soap EastEnders, and a sometime minor pop star and occasional movie actress (e.g. Hugh Grant's romantic interest in Love Actually). This book was written by her mother, who has no doubt ridden on the coattails of her daugther's fame in racking up sales. I don't blame her for that - after all, who is going to buy a book about a terrible childhood by a complete unknown?
I can't say it's well-written: the prose doesn't sparkle or come alive, a lot of it seems like the naive ramblings of a teenager rather than the more astute observations of the adult who has penned it, and compared to other misery memoirs such as Frank McCourt's "Angela's Ashes", it doesn't hold a candle - but at least the grammar is correct (poor grammar is very distracting) and the story is so appalling that you can't help but read on in complete disbelief to wonder what happened next in the author's inglorious childhood. The book is quite explicit in its descriptions of abusive behaviour, but I think that was necessary to convey just how shocking such things really are.
In our enlightened times, it's easy to wonder how such severe neglect and abuse is possible, but things have certainly changed, in terms of awareness and action towards these kinds of social problems. Many people in a similar situation would have self-destructed, and I can only applaud Jenny Tomlin's strength to rise above her beginnings and create a better life for herself. Perhaps after reading this book, somebody else who has been abused will be inspired to do the same.
I can't say it's well-written: the prose doesn't sparkle or come alive, a lot of it seems like the naive ramblings of a teenager rather than the more astute observations of the adult who has penned it, and compared to other misery memoirs such as Frank McCourt's "Angela's Ashes", it doesn't hold a candle - but at least the grammar is correct (poor grammar is very distracting) and the story is so appalling that you can't help but read on in complete disbelief to wonder what happened next in the author's inglorious childhood. The book is quite explicit in its descriptions of abusive behaviour, but I think that was necessary to convey just how shocking such things really are.
In our enlightened times, it's easy to wonder how such severe neglect and abuse is possible, but things have certainly changed, in terms of awareness and action towards these kinds of social problems. Many people in a similar situation would have self-destructed, and I can only applaud Jenny Tomlin's strength to rise above her beginnings and create a better life for herself. Perhaps after reading this book, somebody else who has been abused will be inspired to do the same.
April 24, 2009
I loved this book but at times it seem to drag on about nothing to me. Not very often just a chapter or two in between. I feel so sorry that parents have children they just do not seem to want. I can not understand as a mom how any person or woman for that matter could just ignor someone abusing their child. With all that wen to n in this house I do not know how these children even survived. Going hungry, beaten, sexually abused and for no one to seem to care but one aunt. That seems very odd to me. Maybe it was the times, or just the place they lived but you think someone a neighbor would have done some thing.
In the book in the picture section there is a picture of one of the kids baby son sitting with his grandparents the ones that abused the kids in this book. Why is this....Why would you take your child if you were abused so severly to see the people who had abused you?? I never understood how people do that. What is all forgiven when you are grown up? I really want to know.
I like Jenny's writing style so I will read more books by her. This is one author I would love to sit down and ask a few questions. I am glad that these girls can move past what they had been put through and do better by their own children... I do think this is a must read!!
In the book in the picture section there is a picture of one of the kids baby son sitting with his grandparents the ones that abused the kids in this book. Why is this....Why would you take your child if you were abused so severly to see the people who had abused you?? I never understood how people do that. What is all forgiven when you are grown up? I really want to know.
I like Jenny's writing style so I will read more books by her. This is one author I would love to sit down and ask a few questions. I am glad that these girls can move past what they had been put through and do better by their own children... I do think this is a must read!!
August 11, 2008
this book taught me how blessed my childhood was. And how evil some people can be to their own children, and how scared some women must be of the men in their lives.
A very scary account of an awful childhood, may Jenny be blessed with a happier future and God's blessing for a sense of peace for the wa in which she has helped many people understand this terrible crime against her and so many like her.
A very brave woman indeed.
A very scary account of an awful childhood, may Jenny be blessed with a happier future and God's blessing for a sense of peace for the wa in which she has helped many people understand this terrible crime against her and so many like her.
A very brave woman indeed.
February 16, 2018
This story is so shocking, i just can't believe it's true. How come no one ever helped those children? And their mum? I kinda hate her more than their father. She knew all the horrors and still did nothing at all and seemed to "love" her husband in some kind of way. The police, the social services, the judges, the doctors and probably everyone knew the abuse and still let them in the hands of their father.
This books raises too many questions I'd love to ask the author. How could they "forgive" their mother, why did they let Carol and Kris stay in that home (even the aunt never took care of them! ) and most importantly, how on earth is there a photo of Kim's son with his grandparents?!! Why did Laurence go away after Kris's death? I always thought that Jenny, Kim and him had a great relationship and in the end they'd be all together.
Also, I don't get why did she breakup with John when he was such a nice guy and ended up with an abusive husband. The nightmare never ends.
😣
This books raises too many questions I'd love to ask the author. How could they "forgive" their mother, why did they let Carol and Kris stay in that home (even the aunt never took care of them! ) and most importantly, how on earth is there a photo of Kim's son with his grandparents?!! Why did Laurence go away after Kris's death? I always thought that Jenny, Kim and him had a great relationship and in the end they'd be all together.
Also, I don't get why did she breakup with John when he was such a nice guy and ended up with an abusive husband. The nightmare never ends.
😣
October 9, 2008
There isn't much more than "Wow" that I can say for this book. I'm still amazed and when I think of parts my mouth drops open. I read books of this nature a lot and one would think it gets old after awhile, or so I'm told, but it never does for me. I'm still shocked that there are people, children, who have had and still have to endure this kind of torture and pain. I feel like I actually know Jenny and her sister Kim as well as their aunt. Their aunt passing actually brought tears to my eyes. The writing is fantasic and as far as I know there is a sequel to this which I must find asap. Definitely recommend to people who already read this kind of book- others will maybe find it tough to read.
November 20, 2012
A sad story well-told for the most part. It seems like I had a lot of questions after I finished. Why didn't she disown her mother? Didn't she feel bad about leaving Carole at home after the trial? Why so much love towards Auntie when (1)she had to know what was going on and (2)she basically ignored the two youngest children.
I think the only one I admire after reading this book is the author's sister, Kim.
I will read her 2nd book and see if it fills in some of the blanks. Hey, maybe that was the author was hoping people would do.
I think the only one I admire after reading this book is the author's sister, Kim.
I will read her 2nd book and see if it fills in some of the blanks. Hey, maybe that was the author was hoping people would do.
January 6, 2013
I think this was one of the best books I have ever read. It's a brilliant read I felt as though I knew Kim Jenny an Auntie.
June 14, 2016
I have never read a book in my life that made me cry this much, only tears of Joy is what I have experienced before. My name is Mercy, 22years and I am from Africa in a country called Kenya. We do receive second hand books probably those ones given out as donations and when they come here, they are sold to us at a cheaper price. As I was looking at each book so that I get to choose which one to buy,the moment I saw the word,"BEHIND CLOSED DOORS" and the fact that it is a true story, I did not have to think twice but bought the book. I was glued to the book and did not want any disturbance from no one while on It, It touched me. I had keen interest in it because I study community development and I work as a volunteer in an NGO based in the biggest slum in Kenya where I get to work with young girls and hear their stories of sexual harassment and abuse. My heart bleeds for our young girls because they are not safe at home with their parents, be it their fathers who abuse them or their mothers who sell them for sex to get money due to poverty. I get to cry out my heart everyday because of the cases that we get from young girls which are unbelievable because the teachers in their schools also abuse them. Sometimes I feel like giving up because these cases do traumatize me and it seems I don't have that thick skin needed in this field, but thing is I will never stop fighting for them. Every child deserves to have a better life free from any type of violence.
Jenny, I hope you will get to read this. This is the first book written by you that I have read and I am looking forward to read Silent sisters. You have been an inspiration to me as a Social worker and I must say I felt like ripping that book apart out of anger and agony was when the NSPCC man would come talk to your mum and dad and never have some private time with the children and listen to their side of the story. The worst of it is when you tried to ask him if you can talk to him and he led you to where your parents were and said you got something to talk about. I could only imagine how your dad was looking at you. Personally, I also feared him through the whole read. He had such power that controlled your mum, not even being able to leave this abusive relationship. Let me not think of how she said she doesn't want a divorce after taking that bold step to go to court because I will get mad at her just like Laurence did and swore never to step foot in that house.You were a strong girl and you are a strong woman Jenny. I am so inspired. Laurence was a good brother to you and Kim, and I loved his brave character of taking all the blame and getting all the beatings just to cover you up. That is called love. How I also thought you could end up with John because he seemed like a caring man, but I am also happy you found your soulmate because you deserve the best. You have had a tough life and I am glad that your very beautiful daughter Martine brought you happiness. I would like to comment more about many things, about Carole,the late Chris, Kim, your mum and dad, but let me stop there.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. God bless you Jenny. I will read all your books because finally I have discovered my best seller. You are amazing.
Jenny, I hope you will get to read this. This is the first book written by you that I have read and I am looking forward to read Silent sisters. You have been an inspiration to me as a Social worker and I must say I felt like ripping that book apart out of anger and agony was when the NSPCC man would come talk to your mum and dad and never have some private time with the children and listen to their side of the story. The worst of it is when you tried to ask him if you can talk to him and he led you to where your parents were and said you got something to talk about. I could only imagine how your dad was looking at you. Personally, I also feared him through the whole read. He had such power that controlled your mum, not even being able to leave this abusive relationship. Let me not think of how she said she doesn't want a divorce after taking that bold step to go to court because I will get mad at her just like Laurence did and swore never to step foot in that house.You were a strong girl and you are a strong woman Jenny. I am so inspired. Laurence was a good brother to you and Kim, and I loved his brave character of taking all the blame and getting all the beatings just to cover you up. That is called love. How I also thought you could end up with John because he seemed like a caring man, but I am also happy you found your soulmate because you deserve the best. You have had a tough life and I am glad that your very beautiful daughter Martine brought you happiness. I would like to comment more about many things, about Carole,the late Chris, Kim, your mum and dad, but let me stop there.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. God bless you Jenny. I will read all your books because finally I have discovered my best seller. You are amazing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 21, 2016
Unlike some of other books of this genre, this book is quite graphic in places and does not make for easy reading. The author is the mother of a popular soap actress, although this is quite irrelevant to the story and her famous daughter only makes an appearance towards the end of the book - how the writer can be seen as 'cashing in' on having a famous relative is beyond me, as they don't even share the same last name.
Told with a dose of good old fashioned east-end London humour; Jenny recounts the story of her childhood living with her abusive father and emotionally neglectful mother. Her one saving grace is her beloved grandmother, although even she cannot do so much as to save her from the obvious abuse. Jenny even meets an NSPCC representative, and it just goes to show how times have changed - the rep barely acknowledges the children he is supposed to be checking in on.
I was thoroughly shocked at several points whilst reading this book. It made uncomfortable reading many times, although the authors sense of humour and resilience to the abuse she suffered makes reading worthwhile. Overall, one of the better books of its genre and a must-read for anyone interested in childrens rights, family issues and social awareness.
Told with a dose of good old fashioned east-end London humour; Jenny recounts the story of her childhood living with her abusive father and emotionally neglectful mother. Her one saving grace is her beloved grandmother, although even she cannot do so much as to save her from the obvious abuse. Jenny even meets an NSPCC representative, and it just goes to show how times have changed - the rep barely acknowledges the children he is supposed to be checking in on.
I was thoroughly shocked at several points whilst reading this book. It made uncomfortable reading many times, although the authors sense of humour and resilience to the abuse she suffered makes reading worthwhile. Overall, one of the better books of its genre and a must-read for anyone interested in childrens rights, family issues and social awareness.
July 2, 2019
A harrowing and sickening true story of the horrific abuse of a mother and her children by a monster of a man. And the indomitable spirit that drove the author to rose above her shocking childhood and go on to form healthy relationships and become a proud mother herself. Reveals the massive divides of years gone by and the deficiencies of official organisations who should have supported and protected these vulnerable children. The happy outcome comes as a blessed relief after such unimaginable torture.
July 28, 2011
Even though I've read this book before, I had forgotten just how shocking it was. I can't even begin to understand what it must have been like for Jenny and her siblings to face that daily abuse. I don't understand why her mum just let it happen or how the social did nothing, even after her dad was arrested. She is a brave woman to have come out of that and put her life back together.
March 12, 2012
Woah!! How true is the saying 'You just never know what goes on behind closed doors'? This story brings it home if ever anyone was unsure of the meaning of that saying. How Jenny and her siblings survived I never know, but how they must be feeling at doing so is anyones guess. It's not only the physical effects but more so, the emotional effects that people like these, have to go through.
July 13, 2007
this book is soooooooooooooooooooo good
March 7, 2010
Wonderful book. Mostly sad but nice to read the happier times too. Jenny didn't paint a complete doom and gloom picture even though her childhood was stolen many times over. Fantastic read!!!
April 4, 2011
Wow wow wow, what children put up with! Really enjoyed this heartbreaking story of abuse, real eye opener x x
October 14, 2012
Most amazing and inspirational book I've ever read.
January 23, 2014
This was a very good and interesting read
May 29, 2024
It's really upsetting and makes you feel super sad and grossed out. It's so awful that it might even make you want to cry.
March 21, 2023
Jenny Tomlin gives an extreme account of what went on in her house - behind closed doors - for many years, including her young life before she went to school.
I sometimes wonder how children under 5 survive brutal beatings and turn to a life that is everything they wished for when they were young. Jenny Tomlin certainly survived her Dad's viscous abuse and turned her life into the Life she knew she deserved.
Even after a couple of abusive relationships when she was in her teens, and beyond, she comes through and eventually smiled in the face of adversity.
Her sisters came through Life to end up having lives they had been hoping for.
If you can stomach the descriptions of what went on - Behind Closed Doors - then you might be able to buy and read this book. It's certainly an intriguing look at one survivor's tale of fighting against all odds to have a life without being bullied by men she met in her life.
I sometimes wonder how children under 5 survive brutal beatings and turn to a life that is everything they wished for when they were young. Jenny Tomlin certainly survived her Dad's viscous abuse and turned her life into the Life she knew she deserved.
Even after a couple of abusive relationships when she was in her teens, and beyond, she comes through and eventually smiled in the face of adversity.
Her sisters came through Life to end up having lives they had been hoping for.
If you can stomach the descriptions of what went on - Behind Closed Doors - then you might be able to buy and read this book. It's certainly an intriguing look at one survivor's tale of fighting against all odds to have a life without being bullied by men she met in her life.
November 17, 2020
Heartbreaking to say the least.
Jenny has lived a life of squalor and abuse. How much is one person supposed to take? Constant muck. Bullying and sexual abuse from her own father! The man your supposed to trust and rely on!
This is an awful read, to hear a truth that’s so far away from your own is hard to imagine. I feel so lucky to have been brought up into a loving family. Never needing anything, always been supported and looked after. It’s hard to relate to someone who never really knew what love was!!
I hate that some people live like this. And have to go through similar things represented in this book, sometimes worse!
For me it’s just a story. But for others this is life.
Brilliantly written. And I’m so glad that Jenny found out what love is, and can finally say that she is happy.
Jenny has lived a life of squalor and abuse. How much is one person supposed to take? Constant muck. Bullying and sexual abuse from her own father! The man your supposed to trust and rely on!
This is an awful read, to hear a truth that’s so far away from your own is hard to imagine. I feel so lucky to have been brought up into a loving family. Never needing anything, always been supported and looked after. It’s hard to relate to someone who never really knew what love was!!
I hate that some people live like this. And have to go through similar things represented in this book, sometimes worse!
For me it’s just a story. But for others this is life.
Brilliantly written. And I’m so glad that Jenny found out what love is, and can finally say that she is happy.
March 21, 2022
Abuse by a father of his young children.
The man comes across as a psychopath and paedophile. The mother, unable to cope and apparently wiling to pander to her husband. Perhaps she really loved him - who knows, not that that would excuse her part in the tragedy of her children's early life.
The authorities, such as they were at the time and place when all this happened, seem either powerless or uninterested in intervening in domestic affairs.
As rubbish as things seem to be these days for kids who are taken into local authority care, one has to think it is preferable to the abuse kids like Jenny lived through back in the 60s and 70s.
A story to be learned from, rather than enjoyed.
The man comes across as a psychopath and paedophile. The mother, unable to cope and apparently wiling to pander to her husband. Perhaps she really loved him - who knows, not that that would excuse her part in the tragedy of her children's early life.
The authorities, such as they were at the time and place when all this happened, seem either powerless or uninterested in intervening in domestic affairs.
As rubbish as things seem to be these days for kids who are taken into local authority care, one has to think it is preferable to the abuse kids like Jenny lived through back in the 60s and 70s.
A story to be learned from, rather than enjoyed.
March 22, 2018
Quiero empezar diciendo que este libro puede herir tu sensibilidad. Tiene pederastia, incesto, violación, abuso de menores, violencia de género y más. La infancia de Jenny Tomlin fue absolutamente terrible, con un padre que era el demonio. Es increíble todo lo que tuvo que sufrir y el poco caso que hacían a los niños las autoridades en los 60 y 70. Es un libro muy importante.
A pesar de lo cruda que es la historia y la cantidad de detalles que da, está escrita de manera un poco naive que choca con la dureza de los hechos. Pero no creo que el objetivo de la autora sea tener una prosa impecable sino contar un tipo de historia del que no se habla lo suficiente.
A pesar de lo cruda que es la historia y la cantidad de detalles que da, está escrita de manera un poco naive que choca con la dureza de los hechos. Pero no creo que el objetivo de la autora sea tener una prosa impecable sino contar un tipo de historia del que no se habla lo suficiente.
September 25, 2023
What a life! To be able to live this and then write about it, to share your deepest darkest secrets and come
Back from it is truly inspirational. A
Mixture of sadness, frustration and anger at this one and really hard to identify with some of the characters. More so because these are real people and real lives. Everyone should read books such as this and begin to understand what some people have to deal with just to survive.
Back from it is truly inspirational. A
Mixture of sadness, frustration and anger at this one and really hard to identify with some of the characters. More so because these are real people and real lives. Everyone should read books such as this and begin to understand what some people have to deal with just to survive.
November 16, 2023
What a survival journey! How you, Kim, Laurence did surbive is an absolute credit to yourselves and heartfelt sympathy goes to the loss of Chris and hope Carole makes it. Terrible days with appalling Services who never listened to children's voices and more unbelievably, injuries from monstrous parents, physical, neglectful & emotional abusive torture.
Thank heaven for Auntie & yes, she'll always be watching over you & be very proud of you all.
Thank heaven for Auntie & yes, she'll always be watching over you & be very proud of you all.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 19, 2017
OK I am reading a lot of true real books lately from my daughter who is now a psychologist. It is a sad story and really cannot believe how this could ever happen with others seeing it and not reporting it. I think the way things are now it would not be happening.
August 21, 2018
A tough and emotional story of a very difficult childhood. Jenny and her siblings experienced things no-one ever should, but this story like so many of its type, shows that you can overcome it. Your past does not have to define you. Very glad that Jenny is now happy with her family.
August 25, 2019
A book that exposes the abuses that soo many people suffer during all entire life! It's cruel but true. Everyone should read it, to get to know the nightmare that our neighbours could have at home, the place that should be our refuge.
February 17, 2021
As the book progressed I found myself angry at the author herself. She was adamant in her co demnation of adults and authority figures who refused to listen, yet she did nothing herself to prevent her younger brother and sister from being abused. Frustrating read.
September 10, 2023
A really heartbreaking true story. Its hard to even try and imagine how awful jenny and her siblings were brought up, not just the poverty but the abuse and neglect. Its unimaginable today that this would be allowed to happen.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews