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How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities
Building a vibrant and joyful marriage is always a challenge. When you add the stresses inherent in parenting children with disabilities, it becomes both more difficult and more critical.
Once on the brink of divorce, Kristin and Todd Evans uncovered the unique set of skills critical for growing a fulfilling relationship amid the extraordinary challenges of caring for their two children with special needs. Now they are sharing their hard-won discoveries and inspiring marriage story with you. Weaving together insights from Scripture, research, and clinical and personal experience, Kristin and Todd offer you the practical relationship tools you need to save, strengthen, and enjoy your marriage. They help you
· identify your unique needs
· assess your strengths and weaknesses
· set your priorities
· develop healthy stress management skills
· deepen your communication and connection
· tackle problems as a team
· find ways to rest and recharge
· nurture sexual intimacy
· build a strong support network
· and so much more
Once on the brink of divorce, Kristin and Todd Evans uncovered the unique set of skills critical for growing a fulfilling relationship amid the extraordinary challenges of caring for their two children with special needs. Now they are sharing their hard-won discoveries and inspiring marriage story with you. Weaving together insights from Scripture, research, and clinical and personal experience, Kristin and Todd offer you the practical relationship tools you need to save, strengthen, and enjoy your marriage. They help you
· identify your unique needs
· assess your strengths and weaknesses
· set your priorities
· develop healthy stress management skills
· deepen your communication and connection
· tackle problems as a team
· find ways to rest and recharge
· nurture sexual intimacy
· build a strong support network
· and so much more
288 pages, Paperback
Published May 14, 2024
About the author
Kristin Faith Evans
1 book11 followersKristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW is an award-winning author, speaker, Licensed Master Social Worker, and a special needs mom. Along with her husband, Todd, she is passionate about empowering other caregiving parents and couples with the skills to thrive. Kristin also works to equip the professionals and ministry leaders who support special needs parents. Kristin holds her MA in Christian Education and Ministries from Wheaton College and has served in church, camping, and retreat ministries. She later received her MS in Social Work from the University of Tennessee. Kristin’s experience as a mental health counselor has led her to work with clients with intense needs in high stress settings, including substance abuse treatment facilities and in the community with the police in crisis situations. Yet, her most fulfilling role has been counseling couples caring for children with various types of disabilities, helping these parents address their unique marital stressors and relationship needs. She loves spending time with her husband and children, dark chocolate, coffee, authentic conversations, and a good movie.
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
April 27, 2024
I recommend this book for anyone! This book can help couples, grandparents, friends, and really anyone understand the challenges families face. As a chaplain and social worker, I am very encouraged and appreciate the authors’ willingness to share their personal journey. As a grandmother of a child with disabilities I am able use these tips to help give respite for the parents. After 50 years of marriage I’ve also learned new relationship skills and how to depend on God to strengthen our bond.
May 6, 2024
My husband and I have a son who had infantile cancer, and a few years later was diagnosed with autism. Our son is now 9 years old, so my husband and I have been navigating marriage with a disabled child for almost a decade. I found this book to be a helpful, down to earth (that is, fully relatable and authentic) guide to approaching the difficulties that caregiving parents encounter.
Being true to it's title, this book focuses on the marriage aspects of life raising a disabled child. It's not a parenting-focused book, it's a marriage-building book. However, you will likely find that improving your marriage also improves your parenting skills as well.
There are many "quiz" or checklist type assessments in each chapter of this book, so I recommend buying the physical book in lieu of an e-book copy. You will maximize the effectiveness this book if you go through it with your spouse and take the time to do the assessments. It would be a great gift to give a couple raising a disabled child. I wish I would have had this book 5-10 years ago, as I have learned many of these same principles the hard way.
This book was a quick read, and you can choose to read it all or just focus on the chapters where you need the most help. The resources listed at the end are a great addition to the book. I'm thankful Kristin and Todd wrote this much-needed book.
Being true to it's title, this book focuses on the marriage aspects of life raising a disabled child. It's not a parenting-focused book, it's a marriage-building book. However, you will likely find that improving your marriage also improves your parenting skills as well.
There are many "quiz" or checklist type assessments in each chapter of this book, so I recommend buying the physical book in lieu of an e-book copy. You will maximize the effectiveness this book if you go through it with your spouse and take the time to do the assessments. It would be a great gift to give a couple raising a disabled child. I wish I would have had this book 5-10 years ago, as I have learned many of these same principles the hard way.
This book was a quick read, and you can choose to read it all or just focus on the chapters where you need the most help. The resources listed at the end are a great addition to the book. I'm thankful Kristin and Todd wrote this much-needed book.
May 13, 2024
"How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities" is a unique, life-changing resource for couples who have children with disabilities.
Marriage is hard. Adding a child or children with chronic illness or disability increases the difficulty. The authors are here to tell you that a successful, fulfilling marriage is possible and this book teaches you how to do it.
Transparently recounting their own struggles as parents of two medically fragile children, Todd and Kristin Evans explain their path from the brink of divorce to a thriving marriage. Their keen insight forged through the furnace of adversity, joined with extensive research, can help couples navigate their own road to a strong happy marriage.
Their faith-based approach to dealing with the mental, emotional, physical, and financial stress of raising a child with disabilities or medical challenges, gives practical methods and techniques to increase communication, grow partnership, and nurture intimacy in the marriage.
Marriage is hard. Adding a child or children with chronic illness or disability increases the difficulty. The authors are here to tell you that a successful, fulfilling marriage is possible and this book teaches you how to do it.
Transparently recounting their own struggles as parents of two medically fragile children, Todd and Kristin Evans explain their path from the brink of divorce to a thriving marriage. Their keen insight forged through the furnace of adversity, joined with extensive research, can help couples navigate their own road to a strong happy marriage.
Their faith-based approach to dealing with the mental, emotional, physical, and financial stress of raising a child with disabilities or medical challenges, gives practical methods and techniques to increase communication, grow partnership, and nurture intimacy in the marriage.
May 6, 2024
How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children With Disabilities is a must-read for any couple who is navigating the ever-changing special needs parenting journey. Filled with practical tools to help strengthen communication between spouses, this book also gives readers a place to feel understood and not judged. What a gift. I hope every church buys multiple copies to give to couples who are on this journey together.
May 2, 2024
As a seasoned mom of a child with Down syndrome, I know a strong marriage is essential, but not easy. How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Special Needs by Kristin Faith and Todd Evans is a useful tool every parent should read. Each chapter offers great information, personal stories that keep it real, and practical action points. To help you put into practice what you’ve learned, the authors also suggest some questions for reflection and next steps along with prayer. The book is written in a way that allows you to jump to the topics that apply to your immediate need. Even after you read this excellent resource, keep it on your shelf. You’ll want to refer to it from time to time to keep your marriage thriving.
April 30, 2024
This book is an excellent resource for parents who have a special needs child. As parents of children with disabilities, Authors Kristin and Todd Evans offer sound, Biblical advice for those who are struggling in their marriages. The book gives practical answers to the overwhelming problems many find when balancing marriage with raising a special needs child. The answers are broken down into small, manageable action steps. Told from both Kristin and Todd’s point of views, How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities is a survival skills manual that gives couples the answers they need. My only complaint is that I didn’t have this book earlier in my marriage.
May 2, 2024
I highly recommend this book not only for couple of special needs kids, but also their friends, grandparents of special needs kids, counselors, and social workers. Todd and Kristin share biblical principles to apply to your marriage as well as honest challenges they have faced. I appreciate their authenticity, insight, practical tips, and exercises.
May 6, 2024
Kristin and Todd Evans share a wealth of solid, practical advice and wisdom that couples of any age will find extremely helpful. They draw from the fields of psychology, social work, spirituality, and personal experience to address physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of life and factors that contribute to a thriving marriage. Through the use of true stories and humor, they bare their souls to share helpful information that will resonate with and be a help to most any couple. Any one chapter chosen at random would provide valuable insights, so the book as a whole holds a wealth of wonderful information. It is a book that draws you in and keeps you reading to see what comes next. I give it my highest recommendation!
May 17, 2024
This book should be given out to every couple who leaves the doctors office when their child is first diagnosed. Parenting is hard and affects the marriage. This book gives you honest and effective tools to help navigate these challenges. I can’t recommend it enough!
May 8, 2024
This book is an excellent resource, full of honest and helpful real-life stories.
The Evans have written a book that is personal, encouraging, raw, and practical. They include expertise, from research and experience, in an easy-to-apply format. Kristin and Todd share how faith is their anchor, while kindly welcoming both Christian and non-Christian readers to engage with their book and find compassion. I love that each chapter starts with part of their story and carries the analogy of wilderness exploration - with its challenges and delights. I also love that each chapter ends with space for a husband and wife to process how they are doing in different areas of life and gives small next steps to grow in one area. This book is useful over and over again - as you focus on different areas of growth - well worth the price for a book that continues to grow with you!
I highly recommend this book to several different types of readers: parents of children with disabilities, couples who are facing overwhelming challenges and want ideas to recover or build intimacy, friends of families who are raising kids with special needs, social workers and counselors, and teachers and therapists who work with special needs families. As a speech-language pathologist, my work and perspective is much more effective and compassionate when I have an inside view of the unique challenges (and statistics) that special needs parents are facing. As a wife, even without kids of my own, I immediately applied some of the wisdom that the Evans shared for how to relate to my husband in times of stress. After reading their chapter on "Deepening Communication and Emotional Connection," I actually texted my husband when I was having a hard day, described how I was feeling, and specified what I was asking for in care. He was so thankful to know what was going on in my emotions and to know how to respond.
Get a copy of this book - and a few extras to have on hand for friends or clients!
The Evans have written a book that is personal, encouraging, raw, and practical. They include expertise, from research and experience, in an easy-to-apply format. Kristin and Todd share how faith is their anchor, while kindly welcoming both Christian and non-Christian readers to engage with their book and find compassion. I love that each chapter starts with part of their story and carries the analogy of wilderness exploration - with its challenges and delights. I also love that each chapter ends with space for a husband and wife to process how they are doing in different areas of life and gives small next steps to grow in one area. This book is useful over and over again - as you focus on different areas of growth - well worth the price for a book that continues to grow with you!
I highly recommend this book to several different types of readers: parents of children with disabilities, couples who are facing overwhelming challenges and want ideas to recover or build intimacy, friends of families who are raising kids with special needs, social workers and counselors, and teachers and therapists who work with special needs families. As a speech-language pathologist, my work and perspective is much more effective and compassionate when I have an inside view of the unique challenges (and statistics) that special needs parents are facing. As a wife, even without kids of my own, I immediately applied some of the wisdom that the Evans shared for how to relate to my husband in times of stress. After reading their chapter on "Deepening Communication and Emotional Connection," I actually texted my husband when I was having a hard day, described how I was feeling, and specified what I was asking for in care. He was so thankful to know what was going on in my emotions and to know how to respond.
Get a copy of this book - and a few extras to have on hand for friends or clients!
July 5, 2024
“How to Build a Thriving Marriage As You Care for Children with Disabilities” That title may be a bit long, but it does declare what the reader will find within the book’s cover, actually even more. The authors (Kristin and Todd Evans) reveal a carefully reasoned and in-depth knowledge of the book’s topic, perhaps most notably from having lived it. Both of their kids, whom they dedicate the book to, are burdened with rare medical conditions.
The Evans are sincere and candid about their challenges. They offer many examples of what they endure in raising special needs kids while doing their best to nurture their own marriage. They blend words of encouragement with wise and tested strategies for not only surviving put growing strong in marriage. This is a book that a couple will need to read and reflect on slowly.
The best part of the book is that the Evans base their thoughts firmly on a Biblical foundation. In fact, each chapter concludes with a suggested prayer for the husband and wife.
Though the book is written for married couples that have children with disabilities, it could also provide insights into what these families are experiencing for those who seek to help or at least understand their struggles.
I admit I never raised any children with special needs, but the observations in this book seem to be both thorough and Biblically insightful.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review as part of the LibaryThing Early Reviews program.
The Evans are sincere and candid about their challenges. They offer many examples of what they endure in raising special needs kids while doing their best to nurture their own marriage. They blend words of encouragement with wise and tested strategies for not only surviving put growing strong in marriage. This is a book that a couple will need to read and reflect on slowly.
The best part of the book is that the Evans base their thoughts firmly on a Biblical foundation. In fact, each chapter concludes with a suggested prayer for the husband and wife.
Though the book is written for married couples that have children with disabilities, it could also provide insights into what these families are experiencing for those who seek to help or at least understand their struggles.
I admit I never raised any children with special needs, but the observations in this book seem to be both thorough and Biblically insightful.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review as part of the LibaryThing Early Reviews program.
May 14, 2024
Beautifully written, insightful, practical marriage guide
There are books about marriage and books about parenting children with disabilities, but up until now I have not seen a book that directly addresses the impact on a marriage of parenting chronically ill or disabled children. The authors drew from their lived experiences, their faith, and the professional literature in developing this extraordinary book. They provide hope and practical strategies for acknowledging the losses and challenges of parenting children with disabilities and finding ways for couples to foster closeness when the stress threatens to tear them apart.
The authors provide numerous practical coping strategies, then go further, helping couples to once again find the joy in their connection and lift one another up. They help couples see that they can discover a deeper sense of love and vulnerability than most “typical” couples ever experience or can understand.
I liked so much about this book. It is well written, kind, and empowering. The authors fearlessly shared about their own struggles and help to reduce the stigma of seeking mental health care when life becomes overwhelming.
I will definitely be recommending this book to my clients.
Dr. Betty Rich
There are books about marriage and books about parenting children with disabilities, but up until now I have not seen a book that directly addresses the impact on a marriage of parenting chronically ill or disabled children. The authors drew from their lived experiences, their faith, and the professional literature in developing this extraordinary book. They provide hope and practical strategies for acknowledging the losses and challenges of parenting children with disabilities and finding ways for couples to foster closeness when the stress threatens to tear them apart.
The authors provide numerous practical coping strategies, then go further, helping couples to once again find the joy in their connection and lift one another up. They help couples see that they can discover a deeper sense of love and vulnerability than most “typical” couples ever experience or can understand.
I liked so much about this book. It is well written, kind, and empowering. The authors fearlessly shared about their own struggles and help to reduce the stigma of seeking mental health care when life becomes overwhelming.
I will definitely be recommending this book to my clients.
Dr. Betty Rich
May 14, 2024
How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities has so much practical knowledge and first-hand experience tips for couples who have a child with disabilities. My 1 year old granddaughter has Down syndrome. There have already been challenges, and I know there will be many more. I plan to purchase an additional copy for my daughter and son-in-law. Chapter 2, Recommitting to Your Vows is an honest approach to figuring out how to gauge where your relationship is at the present moment; analyzing each other's expectations, taking an objective look at current circumstances, and how to strengthen your marriage step by step. Another of my favorite sections in this book is in Chapter 4- How to build each other up: Finding strength in faith, being mindful and present in the moment, destressing together, supporting one another's self care, and laughing together. The book even has worksheets and checkoff lists to help record a couple's progress and activities. If you have a child with disabilities in your family or you know a couple who does, this is a great book to purchase as a gift. Thank you Kristin and Todd for being so transparent and giving us the benefit of your personal experiences!
June 12, 2024
I missed the part in the description where this was a Christian book, so it may be unfair to rate it so low. But as a licensed therapist I was super excited about this book because it's a topic that is so very needed in the field. Sadly, although I have a Christian background myself, I couldn't give this book to any of the clients I had in mind because they are not Christian. Some Christian self-help books are subtle and I can just say "just take what you want and leave the rest". In this book though, some of the major suggestions for coping have to do with leaning into your faith. If you are a Christian couple who has a child with disabilities, you will get a LOT out of this book and find it very useful. But if I had my wish, I'd have a companion secular version of this book so that a much larger audience could enjoy the information here.
June 13, 2024
As a mother of a child with severe disabilities, you can imagine this book "hit home" in so many ways. I wish this would've been written when our Avonlea was born, but grateful that it's out and available now so other parents like us can be encouraged and helped.
Our "official" endorsement:
When the doctor delivers the heart-crushing news that your child has severe medical challenges, the waves of grief threaten to overwhelm. It is this exact journey that How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities is such a welcome light in what is so often the darkest valley. Filled with hope when you need it most - and many practical action and relational steps you can take right now - this new book gives couples the perfect roadmap for thriving in the midst of troubled times.
Our "official" endorsement:
When the doctor delivers the heart-crushing news that your child has severe medical challenges, the waves of grief threaten to overwhelm. It is this exact journey that How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities is such a welcome light in what is so often the darkest valley. Filled with hope when you need it most - and many practical action and relational steps you can take right now - this new book gives couples the perfect roadmap for thriving in the midst of troubled times.
May 1, 2024
This book is so well planned and easy to read. It has many examples of ways to streamline and delegate responsibility when caring for your child with disabilities. My favorite idea was to write literally everything down - a job at a time- on sticky notes. Every job or task that is required to make your household work. Then divide as evenly as possible, keeping in mind each of your strengths. Also gave tips on finding creative ways to get things accomplished when there doesn’t seem like it is possible. This is a very hands-on book with tips on building each other up and knowing when to just listen and show compassion for where you are at the moment. I recommend this book to anyone that has a special needs child. Five stars for sure!
July 5, 2024
What a fabulous book for disability parents! The Evans have been transparent and vulnerable, encouraging and beyond helpful.
Each chapter contains a “story” from their life; sometimes a tough one in which the authors are very open about their journey. You’ll also find truth from the Scriptures that will help you as you deal with specific issues. I love that each chapter ends with specific steps for both the husband and wife and includes room to write down your reactions, etc. And then ending in a prayer to pray together will only strengthen the couple who follow through.
I can’t say enough about this book. If read and used, it will make a huge difference in your marriage as you walk through life with your spouse, and with your child(ren) who deal with disabilities.
Each chapter contains a “story” from their life; sometimes a tough one in which the authors are very open about their journey. You’ll also find truth from the Scriptures that will help you as you deal with specific issues. I love that each chapter ends with specific steps for both the husband and wife and includes room to write down your reactions, etc. And then ending in a prayer to pray together will only strengthen the couple who follow through.
I can’t say enough about this book. If read and used, it will make a huge difference in your marriage as you walk through life with your spouse, and with your child(ren) who deal with disabilities.
May 5, 2024
This book is a wonderful resource for any couple but especially for parents of children with disabilities. I have been married 60 years and I found many good tips for me. I especially liked the way the Authors included Scriptures to reenforce the points they are discussing. The entire book is very easy to read and I learned from every chapter but I especially liked the last chapter showing many ways to keep joy in your marriage in spite of struggles. Every chapter has resources to help with issues involved. This is a must read for Couples parenting children with disabilities but is great for any couple to strengthen their marriage
May 1, 2024
"Our marriage wasn't doomed, and neither is yours." As a parent of four children with disabilities, I enjoyed this book tremendously. The authors are so honest and real. I shed some tears as I read their story because I relate so much to the increased marital stress and demands in marriages like ours. The tools they give to improve marriages are realistic, which is critical. Overall, the authors invite you to step out of survival mode and into intentional living with your spouse with God at the center of it all. I cannot recommend it highly enough!
May 7, 2024
Kristen and Todd Evans have penned not only a book but a workbook that offers resources, practical steps, and prayer for the couple caring for a child with disabilities. They are both honest and vulnerable about their marriage and share their struggles and victories. They show the evolution of hurtful conversations from early in the marriage to productive communications in the present. They admit the steps to a thriving marriage are hard, but the results are hopeful and effective. What a beautiful gift of love and hope this book would be to a couple who is struggling in their marriage.
May 19, 2024
I love this book, “How to Build a Thriving Marriage as you Care for Children with Disabilities”! As a mother of a son with Autism, this book provides a much-needed resource for my mental health and marriage. I appreciate all the helpful information and practical tips included to help parents improve their communication skills and lifelong wellness. The information and personal stories the authors included are so heartfelt and genuinely uplifting! This book has a special place on my nightstand, and I highly recommend!
May 1, 2024
This book focuses on how to build a better marriage with your spouse even while going through big challenges in life and parenting. It is a wonderful resource for parents of children with medical or special needs. Not only will you benefit from the authors' personal experience as parents through their relatable stories, but they share many other resources throughout the book, so you can keep learning and growing!
May 9, 2024
Kristin and Todd Evans have written an inspiring and helpful book based on their own journey. Their transparency and compassion leap from the page to touch the hearts of families caring for children with disabilities. Kristin and Todd's strategies for maintaining a healthy and happy marriage not only apply to families coping with disabilities, but to any couple striving to build a strong marriage and establish a loving family bond.
May 14, 2024
Upon finishing this book my immediate thought was that I was very glad that I had read the book. I know this book is supposed to be for parents of children with disabilities and I am sure the material is of great help but I also know the information can be for any marriage. I certainly could have used these insights 50 years ago as I read so many different ways of handling every day life in marriage. I highly recommend this book.
May 4, 2024
This book provides practical, research-based tools you can use to connect and strengthen your marriage. It also is written from a place of complete honesty and vulnerability that helps you feel seen. All of this, plus spiritual-based guidance makes this a must read! Do yourself and your marriage a favor and make time to read this book with your partner today.
May 7, 2024
This book is a wonderful resource, full of encouragement, support, and action steps to take to keep your marriage healthy as an important part of caring for kids with special needs. It not only gives words of support and understanding, but it also gives tangible, simple, easy, action steps to take. It has been life changing and helpful for my husband and I!!
May 10, 2024
Wow! I highly recommend this book! What a storehouse of practical information and hard won wisdom. The book addresses the unique challenges of parenting children with disabilities with so much hope and understanding. Excellent tool for parents and grandparents!
May 19, 2024
I am so thankful for this needed resource to help couples who are struggling with all the challenges that come with caring for their children to nurture their marriage. Todd and Kristin vulnerably share their own stories and struggles in their marriage while providing hope, encouragement, research, practical solutions, specific examples, and helpful resources. It’s refreshing to know we’re not alone in our struggles and challenges of building a healthy marriage while caring for our children, and it’s wonderful to have a whole toolbox of practical encouragement and support in one book. What a gift!! Highly, highly recommend!!
Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews