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Resisting Happiness
A true story about why we sabotage ourselves, feel overwhelmed, set aside our dreams, and lack the courage to simply be ourselves... and how to start choosing happiness again!
Are you happy? It may be the wrong question. Most of us think we are relatively happy, while at the same time knowing that we could be happier—maybe even a lot happier. Ordinary people and the finest philosophers have been exploring the question of happiness for thousands of years, and theories abound. But this is not a book of theory. Resisting Happiness is a deeply personal, disarmingly transparent look at why we sabotage our own happiness and what to do about it.
Are you overwhelmed? Do you procrastinate? Do you sometimes feel like you are your own worst enemy? Are you ignoring your dreams? Have you lost the courage to truly be yourself? Do you feel that your life lacks meaning and purpose? Do you find yourself avoiding the real issues in your life and focusing on the superficial?
We all experience these feelings and doubts from time to time. But do you know what to do when you experience them? In this fascinating book, Matthew Kelly, uses his signature combination of the profound and the practical, to help us understand why we feel these things and how to rise above them.
Breaking through resistance, Kelly tells us, is essential to becoming the-best-version-of-ourselves and living with passion and purpose.
What is resistance? It's that sluggish feeling of not wanting to do something that you know is good for you. It's the inclination to do something that you unabashedly know is not good for you. It's the desire and tendency to delay something you should be doing right now.
It is resistance that stands between you and happiness. In these pages you will learn not only what it is, but how to recognize and conquer it in your own life.
Are you happy? It may be the wrong question. Most of us think we are relatively happy, while at the same time knowing that we could be happier—maybe even a lot happier. Ordinary people and the finest philosophers have been exploring the question of happiness for thousands of years, and theories abound. But this is not a book of theory. Resisting Happiness is a deeply personal, disarmingly transparent look at why we sabotage our own happiness and what to do about it.
Are you overwhelmed? Do you procrastinate? Do you sometimes feel like you are your own worst enemy? Are you ignoring your dreams? Have you lost the courage to truly be yourself? Do you feel that your life lacks meaning and purpose? Do you find yourself avoiding the real issues in your life and focusing on the superficial?
We all experience these feelings and doubts from time to time. But do you know what to do when you experience them? In this fascinating book, Matthew Kelly, uses his signature combination of the profound and the practical, to help us understand why we feel these things and how to rise above them.
Breaking through resistance, Kelly tells us, is essential to becoming the-best-version-of-ourselves and living with passion and purpose.
What is resistance? It's that sluggish feeling of not wanting to do something that you know is good for you. It's the inclination to do something that you unabashedly know is not good for you. It's the desire and tendency to delay something you should be doing right now.
It is resistance that stands between you and happiness. In these pages you will learn not only what it is, but how to recognize and conquer it in your own life.
167 pages, ebook
First published August 15, 2016
About the author
Matthew Kelly
187 books1,221 followersMatthew Kelly is a best-selling author, speaker, thought leader, entrepreneur, consultant, spiritual leader, and innovator.
He has dedicated his life to helping people and organizations become the-best-version-of-themselves. Born in Sydney, Australia, he began speaking and writing in his late teens while he was attending business school. Since that time, 5 million people have attended his seminars and presentations in more than 50 countries.
Today, Kelly is an internationally acclaimed speaker, author, and business consultant. His books have been published in more than 30 languages, have appeared on The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller lists, and have sold more than 50 million copies.
In his early-twenties he developed "the-best-version-of-yourself" concept and has been sharing it in every arena of life for more than twenty-five years. It is quoted by presidents and celebrities, athletes and their coaches, business leaders and innovators, though perhaps it is never more powerfully quoted than when a mother or father asks a child, "Will that help you become the-best-version-of-yourself?"
Kelly's personal interests include golf, music, art, literature, investing, spirituality, and spending time with his wife, Meggie, and their children Walter, Isabel, Harry, Ralph, and Simon.
He has dedicated his life to helping people and organizations become the-best-version-of-themselves. Born in Sydney, Australia, he began speaking and writing in his late teens while he was attending business school. Since that time, 5 million people have attended his seminars and presentations in more than 50 countries.
Today, Kelly is an internationally acclaimed speaker, author, and business consultant. His books have been published in more than 30 languages, have appeared on The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller lists, and have sold more than 50 million copies.
In his early-twenties he developed "the-best-version-of-yourself" concept and has been sharing it in every arena of life for more than twenty-five years. It is quoted by presidents and celebrities, athletes and their coaches, business leaders and innovators, though perhaps it is never more powerfully quoted than when a mother or father asks a child, "Will that help you become the-best-version-of-yourself?"
Kelly's personal interests include golf, music, art, literature, investing, spirituality, and spending time with his wife, Meggie, and their children Walter, Isabel, Harry, Ralph, and Simon.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 672 reviews
December 31, 2016
At Christmas Eve mass this year, my church was kind enough to gift a copy of this book to all parishioners. I'll admit, upon receiving the book as we were leaving church, I had no intention of opening its pages. On the drive home, though, I started to read the back cover and immediately the message resonated with me. Matthew Kelly's latest book is about overcoming resistance in all facets of your life and becoming the best-version-of-yourself. Each chapter ends with a recap of its fundamental message and a way that you can engage with that particular message. Yes, it is heavily influenced by Catholicism and you will encounter many passages about exploring your own relationship with God, but I can guarantee that every single page of this book has a universal message that transcends your particular religion or spirituality. This book was exactly what I needed in this moment in time: not only as a reflection on my life as the year draws to a close, but also as a call to action to start living the life I want to lead as I struggle to discern just what that entails. I didn't finish this book and miraculously have all the answers, but I did leave with a surprising amount of clarity and insight into myself, my ambitions, and my faith.
February 12, 2017
A decent little self-help book, with some Catholicism thrown in. It isn't tremendously great writing, but some really good nuggets of practical truth.
August 3, 2016
It came in the mail today and I started it and found I couldn't put it down and just finished it. I suppose that there was nothing earth-shattering here, but it was all good wisdom that I longed to hear said out loud, at least in my head as I read the words. I needed the encouragement and direction and challenge. I needed to be asked to reflect on the statements made. I think I'll read it again someday. This book was written by Matthew Kelly.
April 9, 2017
This book was a freebie in my son's CCD class, plus it's a book about happiness (what's not to like?) so I figured I'd give it a try. I rarely don't finish a book, but after a few pages of this one I could not stomach the rest. The opening page preaches that pressing the snooze button is a moral failure. On page 3, the author shares how many books he's written and how many copies he's sold (excuse me while I roll my eyes, Mr. Narcissist). This book is just too much of a sermon to continue.
August 24, 2016
The subtitle of this book is "A True Story about Why We Sabotage Ourselves, Feel Overwhelmed, Set Aside Our Dreams, and Lack the Courage to Simply Be Ourselves... and How to Start Choosing Happiness Again" and that is quite a mouthful. But having read a number of Matthew Kelly's books over the last few years I was very excited to read this one. I must admit I read this book while rereading Rediscover Jesus, I read it through once and could not put it down, and am now reading it through a chapter a day. It was very interesting reading these two books in parallel. Matthew Kelly states in the introduction that this book is the most personal book that he has written to date. Having read a number of the others I completely agree. He has opened up and been transparent about his own faith journey, his successes, growth and failures. He is teaching by example, his example. And what a brave, courageous and motivating example it is.
Matthew also shares a number of stories that he has shared before. But this is the most exhaustive collection of them, and some of them go into more details or extended versions of the stories. So this book is part autobiography, part spiritual history and part a guidebook for those of us who wish to grow in the Christian life. Matthew states in the introduction: "The hardest war to win is one you don't even realize you are fighting, and the hardest enemy to defeat is the one you don't even know exists. Every day you are at war with resistance." And he goes on from there to show us this pattern from his own life. And like many of Kelly's other writings the focus is not on him but on God, and our relationship with God, "When I did something that I knew was God's will, something that would clearly help me become a-better-version-of-myself, I was filled with joy. When I did something that I knew was wrong or was clearly not good for me, that joy began to evaporate." And is that not what Jesus promised in Matthew 5:6 'For the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly.' How many of us would say we are truly living the abundant life? That we are living from a place of Joy? Kelly also declares "It is clear that God does not want us to be negative thinkers. But he also doesn't want our thinking to be neutral. He wants us to be positive thinkers on an epic scale." Would you say you are living that way? If not this book might open your eyes and your heart to following the Holy Spirit more.
In speaking specifically about parenting and working with children Kelly says "I suppose we all need a chance to get outside ourselves and serve other people. It seems the earlier in life we get this chance in a real and tangible way- a chance to serve others, know that we have worth, discover our innate ability to make a difference in other people's lives- the better off we are." And I think about my own children and How I want them to learn to live to become the best version of themselves. We regularly read Kelly's Why Am I Here as a family, and my children often talk about decisions that help them or hinder them from being that best version of themselves. But by growing in it from the learning in this book, hopefully and prayerfully I can be a better example.
One of the key takeaways I got from read this book was about self discipline, even self discipline in the little things. Matthew says "These realizations about denying ourselves, self-control, delayed gratification, and fasting are not new. They are wrapped up in two thousand years of Catholic genius. Saint Augustine wrote, "Conquer yourself and the world lies at your feet."" And learning from his examples we can start small and build to bigger disciplines. But on that same note Kelly says if we are striving to grow in discipline we will also experience greater resistance "Resistance hates discipline. It hates self-control. Resistance abhors delayed gratification and any type of self-denial that makes your heart, mind, and soul strong." He also advises us that if we want to see change we need to be part of making that change happen. "If you want to be part of an excellent parish, stop waiting for someone else to make it one. Get involved and make it an excellent parish. Resistance encourages us to take it easy and settle for mediocrity. But God created us for happiness, and he fills us with great joy as we strive for excellence, especially in the spiritual life." Matthew insists:
"God wants you to live an excellent life. In that quest for excellence you will find a rare happiness."
He also stresses the importance of being gentle with ourselves as part of the processs. "One of the most important reasons to be gentle with ourselves is because if we cannot forgive ourselves, we will struggle to forgive others. And if we cannot forgive ourselves or others, we will resist even God's forgiveness. When we are gentle with ourselves, when we are patient with ourselves, we develop awareness, and awareness breeds compassion. And every person who ever crosses your path needs a little compassion." And also
"Be gentle with yourself, be gentle with others, and never stop striving to be all that God created you to be: the-very-best-version-of-yourself."
And again he always cycles back to being who God calls us to be. He says "God designed human beings for specific purposes. When we stray from them, things tend to go wrong and we start to feel dissatisfied at best and miserable at worst. You were made for mission. You will never have lasting happiness until you realize this and act on it.".
This book was an excellent read, and I know already that I will read it again soon. Matthew draws examples from his own life and a few examples from outside his life. Each chapter has a main teaching followed by a reminder of the Key Point and Action Step at the end of the chapter. This is a great read and it will inspire you.
On a side note I am still waiting in anticipation for The Narrow Path that Dynamic Catholic promoted for almost a year but keeps getting pushed back but books like this one and Rediscover Jesus. But both Rediscover Jesus and this book are excellent reads, that will have immediate impact on all areas of your life if you read them with an open hear. So give this book a read or a listen all you have to lose is your resistance. And you have a world of joy and happiness to gain, true joy found only in God.
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More and reviews of other books by Matthew Kelly.
(Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: A Year of Reading Intention - Catholic Reading!)
Matthew also shares a number of stories that he has shared before. But this is the most exhaustive collection of them, and some of them go into more details or extended versions of the stories. So this book is part autobiography, part spiritual history and part a guidebook for those of us who wish to grow in the Christian life. Matthew states in the introduction: "The hardest war to win is one you don't even realize you are fighting, and the hardest enemy to defeat is the one you don't even know exists. Every day you are at war with resistance." And he goes on from there to show us this pattern from his own life. And like many of Kelly's other writings the focus is not on him but on God, and our relationship with God, "When I did something that I knew was God's will, something that would clearly help me become a-better-version-of-myself, I was filled with joy. When I did something that I knew was wrong or was clearly not good for me, that joy began to evaporate." And is that not what Jesus promised in Matthew 5:6 'For the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly.' How many of us would say we are truly living the abundant life? That we are living from a place of Joy? Kelly also declares "It is clear that God does not want us to be negative thinkers. But he also doesn't want our thinking to be neutral. He wants us to be positive thinkers on an epic scale." Would you say you are living that way? If not this book might open your eyes and your heart to following the Holy Spirit more.
In speaking specifically about parenting and working with children Kelly says "I suppose we all need a chance to get outside ourselves and serve other people. It seems the earlier in life we get this chance in a real and tangible way- a chance to serve others, know that we have worth, discover our innate ability to make a difference in other people's lives- the better off we are." And I think about my own children and How I want them to learn to live to become the best version of themselves. We regularly read Kelly's Why Am I Here as a family, and my children often talk about decisions that help them or hinder them from being that best version of themselves. But by growing in it from the learning in this book, hopefully and prayerfully I can be a better example.
One of the key takeaways I got from read this book was about self discipline, even self discipline in the little things. Matthew says "These realizations about denying ourselves, self-control, delayed gratification, and fasting are not new. They are wrapped up in two thousand years of Catholic genius. Saint Augustine wrote, "Conquer yourself and the world lies at your feet."" And learning from his examples we can start small and build to bigger disciplines. But on that same note Kelly says if we are striving to grow in discipline we will also experience greater resistance "Resistance hates discipline. It hates self-control. Resistance abhors delayed gratification and any type of self-denial that makes your heart, mind, and soul strong." He also advises us that if we want to see change we need to be part of making that change happen. "If you want to be part of an excellent parish, stop waiting for someone else to make it one. Get involved and make it an excellent parish. Resistance encourages us to take it easy and settle for mediocrity. But God created us for happiness, and he fills us with great joy as we strive for excellence, especially in the spiritual life." Matthew insists:
"God wants you to live an excellent life. In that quest for excellence you will find a rare happiness."
He also stresses the importance of being gentle with ourselves as part of the processs. "One of the most important reasons to be gentle with ourselves is because if we cannot forgive ourselves, we will struggle to forgive others. And if we cannot forgive ourselves or others, we will resist even God's forgiveness. When we are gentle with ourselves, when we are patient with ourselves, we develop awareness, and awareness breeds compassion. And every person who ever crosses your path needs a little compassion." And also
"Be gentle with yourself, be gentle with others, and never stop striving to be all that God created you to be: the-very-best-version-of-yourself."
And again he always cycles back to being who God calls us to be. He says "God designed human beings for specific purposes. When we stray from them, things tend to go wrong and we start to feel dissatisfied at best and miserable at worst. You were made for mission. You will never have lasting happiness until you realize this and act on it.".
This book was an excellent read, and I know already that I will read it again soon. Matthew draws examples from his own life and a few examples from outside his life. Each chapter has a main teaching followed by a reminder of the Key Point and Action Step at the end of the chapter. This is a great read and it will inspire you.
On a side note I am still waiting in anticipation for The Narrow Path that Dynamic Catholic promoted for almost a year but keeps getting pushed back but books like this one and Rediscover Jesus. But both Rediscover Jesus and this book are excellent reads, that will have immediate impact on all areas of your life if you read them with an open hear. So give this book a read or a listen all you have to lose is your resistance. And you have a world of joy and happiness to gain, true joy found only in God.
Read the review on my blog Book Reviews and More and reviews of other books by Matthew Kelly.
(Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: A Year of Reading Intention - Catholic Reading!)
October 29, 2016
Uplifting and inspiring
I really liked how he interwove his personal story with the points he was trying to make on how we resist our own happiness. It really made me think on the many ways I had resisted my own happiness and had not realized it. Highly recommended.
I really liked how he interwove his personal story with the points he was trying to make on how we resist our own happiness. It really made me think on the many ways I had resisted my own happiness and had not realized it. Highly recommended.
December 2, 2017
When I first checked this book out from the library, I didn't realize that this was such a religion-heavy book. It almost made me not want to read it, because I didn't want to be preached at. But the description resonated with me, so I stuck with it. And I'm glad I did.
If you look between all the bits about finding God and surrendering yourself to God and whatnot, there's actually some really fantastic advice in this book. It's the kind of book that I almost want to buy just so I can highlight and underline and take notes in the margins, and I'm not usually someone who writes in books.
And even the overly religious parts manage to not be preachy. Kelly has found his happiness through his God, and he wants to share his methods with everyone because he truly wants everyone to be happy. I wish all Catholics were like him.
If you look between all the bits about finding God and surrendering yourself to God and whatnot, there's actually some really fantastic advice in this book. It's the kind of book that I almost want to buy just so I can highlight and underline and take notes in the margins, and I'm not usually someone who writes in books.
And even the overly religious parts manage to not be preachy. Kelly has found his happiness through his God, and he wants to share his methods with everyone because he truly wants everyone to be happy. I wish all Catholics were like him.
December 17, 2016
The first 40 pages were pretty spot-on. As others have said, Matthew has a way of simplifying things - taking them up to the 30,000 foot view for a little much needed perspective. It works for him and for most of us too. But as the pages went on, there was less and less of substance. The most repeated message was that Matthew Kelly has been writing and speaking and traveling for a loooong time. I lost the plot after awhile and was looking for more relevance and less repetition about how long Matthew has been doing this.
June 21, 2019
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I picked this book up in May (2019) after experiencing one of the most difficult life changes of my entire life this April. I wasn't really sure what to expect from this and I wasn't completely ready to pick it up when I first bought it. But I've already taken a lot more steps since the beginning of May into June and I finally felt it was time to figure out what it means to resist being happy.
Summary
A true story about why we sabotage ourselves, feel overwhelmed, set aside our dreams, and lack the courage to simply be ourselves... and how to start choosing happiness again! Are you happy? It may be the wrong question. Most of us think we are relatively happy, while at the same time knowing that we could be happier -- maybe even a lot happier. Ordinary people and the finest philosophers have been exploring the question of happiness for thousands of years, and theories abound. But this is not a book of theory. Resisting Happiness is a deeply personal, disarmingly transparent look at why we sabotage our own happiness and what to do about it. Are you overwhelmed? Do you procrastinate? Do you sometimes feel like you are your own worst enemy?
The revelation this book made me have was not the one I was expecting before I even picked it up. I was expecting this book to heal me, to be the bandage to cover the wounds I don't want to look at anymore. But it wasn't my bandage, it was the removal of the bandage I had put on my own wounds. It made me realize that I have to be the one to heal my own wounds, or I can resist and let them sit open and prone to my own mental infection. (Just to clarify, I don't have any physical wounds!). This book made me aware of the constant resistance in my daily life and I tried to look back to see when that resistance started but I cannot come up with even a general point in time; it has simply been there as long as I can remember. Which makes me feel horrible as a person but it makes me feel better to know that I've realized this at nineteen years old. As described in the book, some people don't realize this until they are near death and can do only little, if anything, to change how resistance affects them. Even after reading this and realizing that I am the only one capable of starting the process of my healing, I don't feel completely ready to start that process because part of me is still hurting. But that could very easily be resistance, letting me wallow in the pit of my own sadness. My resistance has a lot to do with my thoughts and mental health and sometimes it is hard for me to combat them, but I am going to start to try harder to fight the things holding me back. This book taught me that resistance has a thousand different faces and I took a second after reading that line to reflect on the many different faces resistance has taken throughout my life and there were way more than I realized. This book taught me a lot of things, but it has, most importantly, given me the knowledge that resistance exists and now that I know that I feel more prepared to begin my journey to combat it.
This book also made me realize that I haven't had a very direct relationship with God. This may not be important to some people and I completely understand because every person believes different things. This book didn't simply show me that I had been lacking in continuing to build my relationship with God but it made me want to start building it again. I am not the most religious person; I went to church when I was little but sports got in the way as I got older and since then I haven't really built my own relationship with God, my own way without someone forcing me. I do believe in God and have my entire life but this book ushered me towards the fact that I want a better relationship with God than the one I currently have and that I am going to have to push through my own resistance to have one.
Overall, this book really made me think and I enjoy books that make me question myself, my thoughts and my life. This book was the first book I can remember doing that for me. It was always hold a significant value to me and I hope that I can take the knowledge I've learned and apply it to my life.
I picked this book up in May (2019) after experiencing one of the most difficult life changes of my entire life this April. I wasn't really sure what to expect from this and I wasn't completely ready to pick it up when I first bought it. But I've already taken a lot more steps since the beginning of May into June and I finally felt it was time to figure out what it means to resist being happy.
Summary
A true story about why we sabotage ourselves, feel overwhelmed, set aside our dreams, and lack the courage to simply be ourselves... and how to start choosing happiness again! Are you happy? It may be the wrong question. Most of us think we are relatively happy, while at the same time knowing that we could be happier -- maybe even a lot happier. Ordinary people and the finest philosophers have been exploring the question of happiness for thousands of years, and theories abound. But this is not a book of theory. Resisting Happiness is a deeply personal, disarmingly transparent look at why we sabotage our own happiness and what to do about it. Are you overwhelmed? Do you procrastinate? Do you sometimes feel like you are your own worst enemy?
The revelation this book made me have was not the one I was expecting before I even picked it up. I was expecting this book to heal me, to be the bandage to cover the wounds I don't want to look at anymore. But it wasn't my bandage, it was the removal of the bandage I had put on my own wounds. It made me realize that I have to be the one to heal my own wounds, or I can resist and let them sit open and prone to my own mental infection. (Just to clarify, I don't have any physical wounds!). This book made me aware of the constant resistance in my daily life and I tried to look back to see when that resistance started but I cannot come up with even a general point in time; it has simply been there as long as I can remember. Which makes me feel horrible as a person but it makes me feel better to know that I've realized this at nineteen years old. As described in the book, some people don't realize this until they are near death and can do only little, if anything, to change how resistance affects them. Even after reading this and realizing that I am the only one capable of starting the process of my healing, I don't feel completely ready to start that process because part of me is still hurting. But that could very easily be resistance, letting me wallow in the pit of my own sadness. My resistance has a lot to do with my thoughts and mental health and sometimes it is hard for me to combat them, but I am going to start to try harder to fight the things holding me back. This book taught me that resistance has a thousand different faces and I took a second after reading that line to reflect on the many different faces resistance has taken throughout my life and there were way more than I realized. This book taught me a lot of things, but it has, most importantly, given me the knowledge that resistance exists and now that I know that I feel more prepared to begin my journey to combat it.
This book also made me realize that I haven't had a very direct relationship with God. This may not be important to some people and I completely understand because every person believes different things. This book didn't simply show me that I had been lacking in continuing to build my relationship with God but it made me want to start building it again. I am not the most religious person; I went to church when I was little but sports got in the way as I got older and since then I haven't really built my own relationship with God, my own way without someone forcing me. I do believe in God and have my entire life but this book ushered me towards the fact that I want a better relationship with God than the one I currently have and that I am going to have to push through my own resistance to have one.
Overall, this book really made me think and I enjoy books that make me question myself, my thoughts and my life. This book was the first book I can remember doing that for me. It was always hold a significant value to me and I hope that I can take the knowledge I've learned and apply it to my life.
April 1, 2018
Nothing hinted that this was a religious book until I started reading.
This book tells me I'll never be happy unless I find god and put him at the center of my entire existence.
I read a lot. There are many ways to find happiness.
I could not read beyond a few or 20 pages. I do not want god rammed down my throat.If you've been waiting your whole life to have god make things better for you - then do read this book and put god at the center of your life and you'll be all set.
This book tells me I'll never be happy unless I find god and put him at the center of my entire existence.
I read a lot. There are many ways to find happiness.
I could not read beyond a few or 20 pages. I do not want god rammed down my throat.If you've been waiting your whole life to have god make things better for you - then do read this book and put god at the center of your life and you'll be all set.
November 6, 2020
I picked this book with a bizarre hope which i found in its enticing title. But it literally sabotaged my reveries about this book. 😶
July 30, 2019
This is the 2nd Matthew Kelly book I have read. My wife is a big fan and we actually did get to go to one of his events. He keeps things very basic in his writings, but by doing that makes it easy to understand and actionable. Some religious books are written at a level that are hard to relate. This book tackles happiness and why we do things that we know will not make us happy or we think will bring us happiness, but never do. Some of what Matthew Kelly talks about in this book is basic productivity advice, but it is will spoken and with a Catholic bent to it. Below are some key takeaways I had reading the book.
Resistance- This is pretty much the main theme of the book and how resistance saps you of your potential and what you are trying to accomplish. It prefers the easy path and contributes to how we justify the things we do even when we know they may not be good for us or make us happy.
Do a good job to be fulfilled, you can not be happy doing a bad job- Working hard helps us improve and become the best version of ourselves. When we don't do a good job and slack at work, we are not happy and not getting better. For example we stay in jobs and do things for money, yet we do not like what we are doing. You work at least 40 hours a week, if you do not like your job how are you supposed to be the happiest you can be?
Little things over time lead to big results- This is one of the hardest things I think for all of us to realize. The get rich quick schemes and change your lifestyle in a day items do not work because it is little things and little habits over time that lead to big results and happiness.
Continuous learning- This is something that is essential for happiness because things change over time and when you do not know what is going on it is hard to be happy. This is something I have taken to heart after graduating from college. I have probably learned more in the past 6 years than I have in the first 21 years of my life.
Relative truth- This is a topic that is getting more and more attention, but it basically goes like this. There are no firm truths anymore. Whatever I believe is what I believe and whatever you believe is what you believe. This works in some circumstances, but in most cases it causes you to not believe in anything. With nothing to believe in or be passionate about, being happy becomes an even harder thing to do. There are some things in the world that are right or wrong. If you feel strongly about something, believe and do something about it.
Delay gratification- I think this is something people get confused on with celebrities and athletes. While there might be aspects of their lives were they do not delay gratification, to be the best at something you have to make sacrifices and delaying gratification is a part of that. If you are a professional athlete your body is your main attribute You need to keep it in the best shape possible which means eating right and working out even when you do not want to.
Do not trust God- The last point I liked from the book is that we do not trust god and because of sin try to take him away from our lives and not make him the focus. When we lose sight of what he is trying to do in our lives, happiness is much harder if not impossible to find. I think regardless of whether you believe in God or not you can not discredit what is in the bible and the principles it teaches. We get it twisted that getting rid of God will give us freedom yet instead if just leaves us lonely and unhappy.
You do not need to be catholic to read this book and still pick up great tips and techniques for finding happiness. However if you ignore that part of the book then I would probably say there are better productivity and happiness books. Matthew Kelly weaves both the catholic side and the happiness side together very well. You see the similarities and how they relate. I think you will be better for reading the book and as pointed out in the book, 57% of people give into resistance and do not finish a book when they start it. I am glad resistance did not get the best of me.
Resistance- This is pretty much the main theme of the book and how resistance saps you of your potential and what you are trying to accomplish. It prefers the easy path and contributes to how we justify the things we do even when we know they may not be good for us or make us happy.
Do a good job to be fulfilled, you can not be happy doing a bad job- Working hard helps us improve and become the best version of ourselves. When we don't do a good job and slack at work, we are not happy and not getting better. For example we stay in jobs and do things for money, yet we do not like what we are doing. You work at least 40 hours a week, if you do not like your job how are you supposed to be the happiest you can be?
Little things over time lead to big results- This is one of the hardest things I think for all of us to realize. The get rich quick schemes and change your lifestyle in a day items do not work because it is little things and little habits over time that lead to big results and happiness.
Continuous learning- This is something that is essential for happiness because things change over time and when you do not know what is going on it is hard to be happy. This is something I have taken to heart after graduating from college. I have probably learned more in the past 6 years than I have in the first 21 years of my life.
Relative truth- This is a topic that is getting more and more attention, but it basically goes like this. There are no firm truths anymore. Whatever I believe is what I believe and whatever you believe is what you believe. This works in some circumstances, but in most cases it causes you to not believe in anything. With nothing to believe in or be passionate about, being happy becomes an even harder thing to do. There are some things in the world that are right or wrong. If you feel strongly about something, believe and do something about it.
Delay gratification- I think this is something people get confused on with celebrities and athletes. While there might be aspects of their lives were they do not delay gratification, to be the best at something you have to make sacrifices and delaying gratification is a part of that. If you are a professional athlete your body is your main attribute You need to keep it in the best shape possible which means eating right and working out even when you do not want to.
Do not trust God- The last point I liked from the book is that we do not trust god and because of sin try to take him away from our lives and not make him the focus. When we lose sight of what he is trying to do in our lives, happiness is much harder if not impossible to find. I think regardless of whether you believe in God or not you can not discredit what is in the bible and the principles it teaches. We get it twisted that getting rid of God will give us freedom yet instead if just leaves us lonely and unhappy.
You do not need to be catholic to read this book and still pick up great tips and techniques for finding happiness. However if you ignore that part of the book then I would probably say there are better productivity and happiness books. Matthew Kelly weaves both the catholic side and the happiness side together very well. You see the similarities and how they relate. I think you will be better for reading the book and as pointed out in the book, 57% of people give into resistance and do not finish a book when they start it. I am glad resistance did not get the best of me.
Read
September 13, 2017I had high hopes for this book but stopped reading on page 17. I realize Matthew Kelly is know for his books on Catholicism, but I guess I thought this would be different based upon how it's marketed as a practical guide for finding personal happiness. I don't find this "practical"; I find it dogmatic:
"Nothing on earth can satisfy your desire for happiness. The reason is very simple: You have a God-sized hole. . . . If you want to make sense of everything, place God at the center of your life."
Happiness doesn't work that way: the answer isn't one thing or person or being or idea, etc. To equate God with happiness is a cop-out. By proxy, it also minimizes personal efficacy in cultivating happiness.
Zero stars.
"Nothing on earth can satisfy your desire for happiness. The reason is very simple: You have a God-sized hole. . . . If you want to make sense of everything, place God at the center of your life."
Happiness doesn't work that way: the answer isn't one thing or person or being or idea, etc. To equate God with happiness is a cop-out. By proxy, it also minimizes personal efficacy in cultivating happiness.
Zero stars.
January 13, 2017
It lacked the depth and substance I was looking for... He touched on dozens of topics with which I was already familiar, clearly a book meant for unengaged Catholics (although the message is pertinent to everyone, Catholics and non Catholics alike) It was a little too preachy and Rick Warren-esque for me, being very similar to A Purpose Driven Life. The super enthusiastic "don't let the critics get you down! Be the best version of yourself! Stay strong!" style that many find helpful but is completely lost on me.
May 18, 2022
This is a Christian Book, and ultimately acts as a guide to be a better Christian and to feel more fulfilled within the Catholic Church. It was not, as I was duped by the title and tagline to believe, about strategies to pick up your mood on the day to day.
Matthew Kelly is a public speaker and this book reads like a presentation, with all the ridiculous anecdotes along the way.
I'm a person of Faith and a person diagnosed with a depression disorder. I pray to God on days I feel like I can't get out of bed. According to Matthew Kelly, I wouldn't have days like this or my prayers would miraculously cure me if I were a better Christian. This toxic victim-blaming attitude is present throughout this albeit short book. Maybe if I read the Bible every day or went to church twice a week opposed to once I'd be a more productive member of society.
He had a few good points that he never backed up or went too far the wrong way in his discussion. Such as the Catholic Church dying and people not being engaged in mass. However, his solution is going home and writing out the mass as listed in the missal. Have the whole family do it together because that'll get your kids to like church...copying lines. :) Oh, and go on Sunday and either Tuesday or Wednesday to really soak in the message. These are just not viable solutions because they're not looking at the actual problem...and in the end have nothing to do with resisting happiness.
Matthew Kelly is a bit of a narcissist too even if he doesn't realize it. He quotes himself several times throughout this book as well as sprinkles reminders of his other publications. And has an entire freaking ad printed in the middle of the book...you can buy 3 copies of this book for $18 to share with friends! Woot.
Ugh, this was a mess. I hate motivational speakers and their presentations to begin with and this was almost borderline condescending in it's delivery. Do not recommend.
Matthew Kelly is a public speaker and this book reads like a presentation, with all the ridiculous anecdotes along the way.
I'm a person of Faith and a person diagnosed with a depression disorder. I pray to God on days I feel like I can't get out of bed. According to Matthew Kelly, I wouldn't have days like this or my prayers would miraculously cure me if I were a better Christian. This toxic victim-blaming attitude is present throughout this albeit short book. Maybe if I read the Bible every day or went to church twice a week opposed to once I'd be a more productive member of society.
He had a few good points that he never backed up or went too far the wrong way in his discussion. Such as the Catholic Church dying and people not being engaged in mass. However, his solution is going home and writing out the mass as listed in the missal. Have the whole family do it together because that'll get your kids to like church...copying lines. :) Oh, and go on Sunday and either Tuesday or Wednesday to really soak in the message. These are just not viable solutions because they're not looking at the actual problem...and in the end have nothing to do with resisting happiness.
Matthew Kelly is a bit of a narcissist too even if he doesn't realize it. He quotes himself several times throughout this book as well as sprinkles reminders of his other publications. And has an entire freaking ad printed in the middle of the book...you can buy 3 copies of this book for $18 to share with friends! Woot.
Ugh, this was a mess. I hate motivational speakers and their presentations to begin with and this was almost borderline condescending in it's delivery. Do not recommend.
July 29, 2017
I don't care for self help books, but one of my favorite people in the world does. So when this coworker asks me to read one, I do. Resisting Happiness was in my opinion no different than the usual self help bilge.
Resisting Happy was written by a Catholic self help guru. It's target audience was Catholic. It was written to Catholics as a "reset button" for returning to or developing good Catholic behaviors. The problem...I'm not Catholic...I'm not religious. While some of the ideas were helpful no matter your deistic philosophy, others were clearly targeted to believers. (Confession, attendance at Mass, etc.)
I rated it 2 stars because I really didn't like the book, but I think the rating is more reflective of the reader. I get more life philosophy from situational observation and literary references. (I've learned forgiveness from Jean Valjean, mercy from Hester Prynne, friendship from Wilbur and Charlotte, the power of love from Silas Marner and family from Laura and Mary Ingalls.)
Life coaching from a guru doesn't get far with me. I guess it's my skeptical nature, but I don't trust people who tell me they'll make my life better. I feel that self help is nothing more than this century's snake oil. I'm happy that it works for some people, but I'll stick with time tested philosophy and literary classics for wisdom in divining the universe and it's hidden nuances.
Now how to relay this biting opinion to my coworker without all the vitriol?
Resisting Happy was written by a Catholic self help guru. It's target audience was Catholic. It was written to Catholics as a "reset button" for returning to or developing good Catholic behaviors. The problem...I'm not Catholic...I'm not religious. While some of the ideas were helpful no matter your deistic philosophy, others were clearly targeted to believers. (Confession, attendance at Mass, etc.)
I rated it 2 stars because I really didn't like the book, but I think the rating is more reflective of the reader. I get more life philosophy from situational observation and literary references. (I've learned forgiveness from Jean Valjean, mercy from Hester Prynne, friendship from Wilbur and Charlotte, the power of love from Silas Marner and family from Laura and Mary Ingalls.)
Life coaching from a guru doesn't get far with me. I guess it's my skeptical nature, but I don't trust people who tell me they'll make my life better. I feel that self help is nothing more than this century's snake oil. I'm happy that it works for some people, but I'll stick with time tested philosophy and literary classics for wisdom in divining the universe and it's hidden nuances.
Now how to relay this biting opinion to my coworker without all the vitriol?
February 4, 2021
There is so much wrong with this book!
The biggest problem for me is re-writing procrastination as resistance. It constantly shaws down your throat that resistance is bad. And it is not. It is what keeps us going. Yes, procrastination is bad, but it is also human and we all find ways to deal with it. It also is the reason why we find more efficient ways to do things. But that is not what bugs me. It is the way resistance is writen. Resistance is so important nowadays, but this book makes you think the opposite.
Resistance is not a "slayer of dreams". Resistance is the tool of dreams.
The biggest problem for me is re-writing procrastination as resistance. It constantly shaws down your throat that resistance is bad. And it is not. It is what keeps us going. Yes, procrastination is bad, but it is also human and we all find ways to deal with it. It also is the reason why we find more efficient ways to do things. But that is not what bugs me. It is the way resistance is writen. Resistance is so important nowadays, but this book makes you think the opposite.
Resistance is not a "slayer of dreams". Resistance is the tool of dreams.
December 28, 2016
A short, simple walkthrough with reflections that are helpful for many people. A huge turn off again, as is a turn off often with Kelly's work, is the shameless self-promotion that is two advertisements mid-book, and several plugs for himself and his company in the name of teaching other Catholics how to better their spiritual lives- mostly through buying his books and going on retreats with his group. Things better left out of the book altogether, or at least kept to the back of the book.
February 10, 2017
Totally disappointed. I have always enjoyed his writing. I have found inspiration in his words during some dark times in my life. I think he needs to step away from his work and find his true voice, because the one in this book is tired. I'll always read his books- too bad this one is such a flop.
May 1, 2017
I received this book as a Christmas gift from our parish. It was just what I needed to read during Lent. Each chapter inspired me to take a more active role in my relationship with God.
June 15, 2017
Review blurb from work:
A great collection of bite-size reflections on resistance--that troubling impulse that keeps us from doing what we know is best for us, and shows up as laziness, procrastination, self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness, and a myriad of other guises. I loved Kelly's discussion of instant-gratification, and the simple but hugely powerful idea of practicing self-denial in small ways in order to help beat resistance. As always, Kelly is insightful, accessible, and humble in sharing his own struggles and triumphs.
A great collection of bite-size reflections on resistance--that troubling impulse that keeps us from doing what we know is best for us, and shows up as laziness, procrastination, self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness, and a myriad of other guises. I loved Kelly's discussion of instant-gratification, and the simple but hugely powerful idea of practicing self-denial in small ways in order to help beat resistance. As always, Kelly is insightful, accessible, and humble in sharing his own struggles and triumphs.
February 3, 2017
This is not so much about Catholicism as it is about living a life that is honest, true to yourself, and a how to grow in faith or spirituality regardless of the faith you practice. This book was gifted to me this Christmas at church and I am glad I set aside my YA fiction to explore. Made for a great read for the new year as many of us reflect on our goals and where we want our lives to head in the coming year.
June 8, 2022
I recently read this while visiting my sister during the short week I spent with her. It's a very easy read, and since it's under 200 pages, a good choice for an airport book.
First off, I'll say this is my first exposure to Matthew Kelly's works, and I'm glad I started off with this one. There are many helpful tips throughout this book, motivational stories, and insights that could help just about anyone "slay resistance" and make every day count just a little bit more. I consider myself a motivated person, but even in these pages with Kelly's advice, and reflective points, I examined my daily routines with a bit more scrutiny.
The biggest take away I have from this book is his chapter about making God the center of your life; otherwise, nothing else will make sense. He explains that even if you're a millionaire, and have a new car, and wear fancy watches and wear the trendiest clothes, you will always have a God-sized hole in your soul until you make him the top priority. This is something I have done for many years. I consider my life a pyramid (like a food pyramid) and which God is my foundational layer of which everything else is built upon. I firmly believe that putting God at the center of your soul, or the base of your pyramid, is the first step in life to making everything else make sense.
That was my biggest take away from his book. I very much enjoyed his personal stories and feel like, although I never met him, that I understand him a lot more as a person. I believe this book is a great and insightful short read that can provide many helpful tips about their "spiritual life" to just about anyone.
First off, I'll say this is my first exposure to Matthew Kelly's works, and I'm glad I started off with this one. There are many helpful tips throughout this book, motivational stories, and insights that could help just about anyone "slay resistance" and make every day count just a little bit more. I consider myself a motivated person, but even in these pages with Kelly's advice, and reflective points, I examined my daily routines with a bit more scrutiny.
The biggest take away I have from this book is his chapter about making God the center of your life; otherwise, nothing else will make sense. He explains that even if you're a millionaire, and have a new car, and wear fancy watches and wear the trendiest clothes, you will always have a God-sized hole in your soul until you make him the top priority. This is something I have done for many years. I consider my life a pyramid (like a food pyramid) and which God is my foundational layer of which everything else is built upon. I firmly believe that putting God at the center of your soul, or the base of your pyramid, is the first step in life to making everything else make sense.
That was my biggest take away from his book. I very much enjoyed his personal stories and feel like, although I never met him, that I understand him a lot more as a person. I believe this book is a great and insightful short read that can provide many helpful tips about their "spiritual life" to just about anyone.
December 17, 2023
Here are some of my favorite notes taken out of context:
“When we remember how God has been there for us in the past, we become confident that he will be there for us in the future.” Pg 106
3,339 Sundays left in my life
“To be human is to be hungry.” Pg 119
“Even poor Pooh has haters.” Pg 178
“He (God) wants to set us on fire.” Pg ??
“When we remember how God has been there for us in the past, we become confident that he will be there for us in the future.” Pg 106
3,339 Sundays left in my life
“To be human is to be hungry.” Pg 119
“Even poor Pooh has haters.” Pg 178
“He (God) wants to set us on fire.” Pg ??
May 27, 2018
worth reading. Uplifting and encouraging.
August 4, 2019
“We live our lives for an audience of one: God. If you are doing what you believe God is calling you to do deep in your soul, walk on.”
May 22, 2023
Resisting Happiness is filled to the brim of reminders of how we can best live our lives to serve & please God, how we can overcome the challenges and different forms of negativity we all face, and how we can make daily choices that help us become the best version of ourselves. Quick & easy read, but powerful indeed!
May 28, 2017
SF. A friend's gift. A short meditation and exploration of how to have an active and fulfilling spiritual life. In a similar tradition to Jesuit spiritual exercises, the book helps one to explore a personal meaning and mission in living life as a devout Catholic and servant for God and others. It also has very interesting ideas on how to make the Mass experience more active and enriching by keeping a Mass journal (a small pocket notebook to record one unique insight during Mass that has personal meaning and for future meditation) and to hand write the Gospel a few days before Sunday Mass (to have a deeper appreciation for the Gospel and its message). This book is a great gift for Confirmation or a close friend who can benefit from a focused meditation on what it means to have a strong spiritual life and living as servant for others and God.
March 17, 2017
Writing about a self-help book is an awkward experience. I am exposing my own weaknesses online, while it is also terribly subjective.
Nevertheless, I found Resisting Happiness to run both hot, and cold. But since I only care about positives, that’s what my focus will be on. Written by Matthew Kelly, Resisting Happiness made me stop, and truly think, of how I live my life.
First as a man who believes in God, and next as a Catholic who could use a little work at his practice of faith.
But it wasn’t until I became acutely aware how much I need to put more stock in myself, and less in the expectations of others, that this book had its biggest impact on me. Basically, I need to become a better version of myself.
This Catholic-based self-help book was a recommendation from a friend of my fiancée and mine. In her text, she sent a picture of her copy with nearly 90+ sheets dog-eared. The book is 186 pages, people. She was diggin’ it.
I gave it a go and enjoyed it, too. In the interest of brevity, I will bullet point my favorite thoughts. Some triggered an internal “OMG, yes!” and, others serving as gentle reminders.
1. Everyone I meet is fighting a hard battle. Be kind to them.
2. Be gentle with ourselves. If we cannot forgive ourselves, we will struggle to forgive others. When we are gentle and patient with ourselves, we develop awareness, and awareness breeds compassion. Everyone needs a little compassion.
3. Take note of the moments when I was challenged to grow. Be mindful of the decisions I made which left me in need of healing (this one is harder than it looks to me).
4. Thy will be done. I would pretty much call this an absolute imperative if I want to be better at the Catholic thing.
5. It only takes 10 minutes a day to pray.
6. Our lives change when our habits change.
7. Wherever we find excellence, we find continuous learning.
8. How many Sundays do I have left? With the average life expectancy of 78.74 years, I have 1,536 left. Life is short. Never waste a day – Sunday or any other.
9. Any type of inner slavery limits our ability to love ourselves, to love our God, and to love others.
10. Delay gratification. All of life’s regrets come from not having the discipline to overcome resistance and delay gratification in order to build a bigger future.
Additionally, I was influenced by the things people wished they had done when they learned they were dying. He gives us 24, but there were only five that hit me hardest.
- I wish I had paid less attention to other people’s expectations
- I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about things that never happened
- I wish I had cared less about what other people thought
- I wish I had realized earlier that happiness is a choice
- I wish I had taken better care of myself
Don’t get the wrong idea here. I am not about to light an incense candle and dive impetuously into the glory and beauty of life and make a hundred changes. What it does mean, however, is that as a man in his 40’s I can now have a deeper appreciation of those regrets. It means that I have learned, once again, that I need to be patient with myself. Lord knows, I need to not be as hard on myself as I am. Possibly kinder? Maybe more aware? Then who knows what the future will hold. Maybe this wonderfully blessed life of mine can become even better over time …
… provided I get out of my own way, and no longer resist my own happiness.
Nevertheless, I found Resisting Happiness to run both hot, and cold. But since I only care about positives, that’s what my focus will be on. Written by Matthew Kelly, Resisting Happiness made me stop, and truly think, of how I live my life.
First as a man who believes in God, and next as a Catholic who could use a little work at his practice of faith.
But it wasn’t until I became acutely aware how much I need to put more stock in myself, and less in the expectations of others, that this book had its biggest impact on me. Basically, I need to become a better version of myself.
This Catholic-based self-help book was a recommendation from a friend of my fiancée and mine. In her text, she sent a picture of her copy with nearly 90+ sheets dog-eared. The book is 186 pages, people. She was diggin’ it.
I gave it a go and enjoyed it, too. In the interest of brevity, I will bullet point my favorite thoughts. Some triggered an internal “OMG, yes!” and, others serving as gentle reminders.
1. Everyone I meet is fighting a hard battle. Be kind to them.
2. Be gentle with ourselves. If we cannot forgive ourselves, we will struggle to forgive others. When we are gentle and patient with ourselves, we develop awareness, and awareness breeds compassion. Everyone needs a little compassion.
3. Take note of the moments when I was challenged to grow. Be mindful of the decisions I made which left me in need of healing (this one is harder than it looks to me).
4. Thy will be done. I would pretty much call this an absolute imperative if I want to be better at the Catholic thing.
5. It only takes 10 minutes a day to pray.
6. Our lives change when our habits change.
7. Wherever we find excellence, we find continuous learning.
8. How many Sundays do I have left? With the average life expectancy of 78.74 years, I have 1,536 left. Life is short. Never waste a day – Sunday or any other.
9. Any type of inner slavery limits our ability to love ourselves, to love our God, and to love others.
10. Delay gratification. All of life’s regrets come from not having the discipline to overcome resistance and delay gratification in order to build a bigger future.
Additionally, I was influenced by the things people wished they had done when they learned they were dying. He gives us 24, but there were only five that hit me hardest.
- I wish I had paid less attention to other people’s expectations
- I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about things that never happened
- I wish I had cared less about what other people thought
- I wish I had realized earlier that happiness is a choice
- I wish I had taken better care of myself
Don’t get the wrong idea here. I am not about to light an incense candle and dive impetuously into the glory and beauty of life and make a hundred changes. What it does mean, however, is that as a man in his 40’s I can now have a deeper appreciation of those regrets. It means that I have learned, once again, that I need to be patient with myself. Lord knows, I need to not be as hard on myself as I am. Possibly kinder? Maybe more aware? Then who knows what the future will hold. Maybe this wonderfully blessed life of mine can become even better over time …
… provided I get out of my own way, and no longer resist my own happiness.
May 24, 2017
Extremely motivating and helpful.
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