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313 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 28, 2021
"You're not getting sick, are you?"
"Why?" I lean in–like a fool, because it's never a good idea for me to get too close to Brenna James. "Would you wipe my fevered brow if I were?"
Whip sighs. "What made you think getting physical with Brenna without the poiblity of any kind of relationship in the cards was a good idea?" I stare blankly at him.
"My dick?"
"Wings, Bren. So you'll never forget how far you can fly."
"Brenna, you are my idol, the woman who told the head of RAI Record that the day he started staring at guys' dick when he talked to them was the day it would be okay for him to talk to your tits."
His grip on my hair twitches, but he doesn't move. "Tell me one thing firt." Soft lips touch the shell of my ear, his voice dark and resonant. "Who's your Daddy?"
Shock exploded over my skin in a wave of heat. My knees. A breath escapes me–half startled laugh, half groan. Sweet hell, I'm so hot, I can barely breathe. My response is thready, needy. "You. Only you."
But here, with Brenna's funny little snores buffeting my chest, it hit me with a calm certainty that music isn't the entirety of my heart and soul. It no longer own me completely. She's there too, in my heart and soul. A touchstone in the darkness of uncertainty.
"You all suck," Killian mutters, but his posture is easier now. Hi dark eyes pin Libby. "I can't believe you stole my phone."
"You like what I did after I stole it," she drawls, clucking her tongue.
"Lord deliver us all," Scottie pleads to the ceiling.
"Here." Stella punks a tray down before him. "Have a cookie."
Stella!!!: FUNNY. Now get your butts down here. All of you. RYE! I know you're there. I can hear you breathing.
Rye-Rye: I was having the weirdest dream. You all were in it. No. Wait. It was a nightmare. Or should I call it a wake-mare since I'm fairly certain I'm awake now, and you're all still texting.
WhipIt: HUR!
So-Sophie: Cocaa, Rye-Rye. You love cocoa.
Rye-Rye: I will not be swayed by a mere beverage
Stella!!!: And cookies. Lots of cookies
Rye-Rye: I'll be down in 5
"There is a time in a woman’s life when her friends start finding their true loves and suddenly everything is a couple’s deal, complete with private looks and inside jokes that you’re no longer part of, and ugh! Somebody hand me a drink already and get me out of this nightmare."
“Because I know you,” he says softly, firmly. “I’ve spent years trying not to learn you, and failing.”
“When the stage lights go off, when the music stops, what am I? Where do I go?”
"Truth?
I don’t think I’m good enough for anyone.
And here’s the real horror: this is the complete opposite of what I project to the world. On the outside, I am a confident woman who knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. I don’t let anyone fuck with me. (...) I believe in myself. When it comes to my profession.
When it comes to me?
Apparently, I don’t.
♫♫♫ seeing the Kill John gang together and all their interactions left me laughing, giddy with happy feels and content - it was just so wholesome 🥰🥰🥰
♫♫♫ I was surprised here - in lots of stories, it's possible to pinpoint the source of third act drama after the first few chapters, like it's not subtle at all: e.g. character A hates The Thing with a burning passion and character B used to do The Thing or sth along these lines - we all know where that's going; here there was this Thing with Rye and
♫♫♫ miscommunication happened but in a believable, non-annoying (at least to me) way - what I loved actually was how honest Brenna and Rye were with each other, and the times when they were not so forthcoming with their feelings? I understood that, because the foundation for that had been laid down. Plus, it did not take them too long - like ridiculously long - to actually speak their mind
♫♫♫ there was a bit of this Thing that makes me break out in hives aka a professional woman in control of her life simply must be in need of being controlled in bed to "let go" - but the way this was done was not OTT and in the end, did not bother me***
*** this annoys me for one simple reason: show me a book where the hero is The Boss in his professional life so much that he wants to be told what to do during sex so that he can "let go of control" -
♫♫♫ but there were some refreshing bits, sex-wise - Rye admitting that he had never actually had great sex (even with all the rock star sexcapades), Brenna being opened about her sex drive, sexual desires etc. (that should NOT be groundbreaking but sadly - yeah), Brenna being the one more...challenged when it came to intimacy, commitment and relationships, that's my girl xD
♫♫♫ Scottie playing the matchmaker, he's an evil puppet master in whatever he puts his mind to, it's not even funny 😂😂😆
♫♫♫ there was one continuance mistake that DROVE ME NUTS, in Brenna's flashback at the beginning it's said that A Thing (mentioned in 2nd point) happened during Brenna's birthday party, but when it's discussed later it's suddenly Rye's birthday party and I'm left with my brain churning SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH KRISTEN DON'T DO THIS TO ME
♫♫♫ but aside from that, writing was really something else here, some turns of phrases and lines were so beautiful, it made me emotional
"God, but she’s sharp-edged beautiful in this faded watercolor world of mine."
“Yeah, I know. So what’s left? What’s your fantasy?”
“You.”
“Brenna, you are my idol, the woman who told the head of RAI Records that the day he started staring at guys’ dicks when he talked to them was the day it would be okay for him to talk to your tits.”
“You once thought I was worth the risk—” My voice breaks then finds strength. “You’re worth it too. I don’t want to just be your friend, Rye. I want…I want to be yours. I want you to be mine. Wherever I land, whatever I’m doing. Because I…I adore you, Ryland Peterson.”
It’s the little clickety-click that always hooks me. An audible clue that she adds an extra sway to every other step. I’m not going to admit how many times I’ve watched her walk to figure that bit out.
Brenna’s perfume tickles my nose. She doesn’t have a signature scent but wears different ones for different moods. Unfortunately, I know them all. Over the years, I’ve figured out what mood she’s in depending on what fragrance she chooses.
“I always was.”
I can’t quite make my mouth work correctly. “Always was what?”
“Yours.” Tender hands cup my cheeks. “I’ve always been yours. And you…You already are my everything. You’re my music, Bren.”
A sob escapes. “Rye.”
My second attempt at reading this and I was irritated by Rye and Brenna's unrealistic enmity. 10 years of bickering and then one overheard conversation and Rye starts drooling over Brenna every single day.
How? After 10 years? GTFOH. I don't care if they have a HEA. DNF @ 60%.
”He kisses me as though I’m dessert, hungry lips and seeking tongue. Right there on the sidewalk in the pouring rain. And I forget about everything else. Here is where I need to be. I’m no longer empty or listless. I’m alive. My senses fire with hot sparks that crackle along my skin.”
”His presence takes away my air. He’s just too much. Too big, his body too strong and tight. His voice too deep—not a bass but a low baritone that has a tendency to vibrate along my skin when he’s near.”
”But here, with Brenna’s funny little snores buffeting my chest, it hits me with a calm certainty that music isn’t the entirety of my heart and soul. It no longer owns me completely. She’s there too, in my heart and soul. A touchstone in the darkness of uncertainty.”
“I’m safe, Bren. I swear.” Safe. Ha. He’s anything but. Rye is my one weak spot. The person most likely to do the greatest damage if he wanted to. But if he doesn’t understand that by now, I’m certainly not exposing my underbelly by telling him.”
”“I always was.” I can’t quite make my mouth work correctly. “Always was what?” “Yours.” Tender hands cup my cheeks. “I’ve always been yours. And you…You already are my everything. You’re my music, Bren.” A sob escapes. “Rye.”
”The knowledge swells between us, reflected in her eyes. And she touches me with trembling hands, moves with me, taking me just as I take her. In that moment, I know the truth: I am home. After a long journey, I am home.”
”I’m his music. And he’s my wings.”
“I’ve spent my entire adult life either wanting you or wanting to forget you.”
I’m good, Bren. I’ll do whatever you want, for as long as you want. I’ll make certain you’re taken care of, and I won’t tell a soul.”
Jesus. I can’t breathe. “So selfless,” I murmur. “And what do you get out of all of this?”
“You.” His fingers stroke my braid. “I get you.”
My power is in maintaining the illusion that nothing can get to me, and I accept that as part of doing business. But some days? Some days, I want to crumble. I want…comfort, touch, release.
Control has always been mine, no matter the partner, no matter the situation. Rye is another story. Hell, he’s a whole other genre. I can’t control Rye. I can’t control my feelings when I’m with him. I’m on a Tilt-a-Whirl in the dark, terrified the harness might snap.
"We've been like two magnets facing south, repelling because we can't do anything else. Then I overheard what you needed, and I flipped north. Toward you."
“I’ve spent my entire adult life either wanting you or wanting to forget you.”
Audio book source: Hoopla
Story Rating: 4 stars
Narrators:J. F. Harding & Emma Wilder
Narration Rating: 4 stars
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Length: 12h 16m
"She made me realize I can have something more out of life, that it's okay to want more."
- Rye.
"He's the one who told me I could fly, who gave me hope that everything in my life would someday be okay."
- Brenna.