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5 pages, Audiobook
First published February 26, 2019
I didn't tell Captain Fearnly that I was joining the garda as part of a plot to exonerate my parents and find a four-thousand-year-old mummy -- and there is no place to enter this type of thing in the online application, so I just kept it to myself.
It was a mysterious garda officer named Pat Finch, whose ghoulish face is so crisscrossed with bright red veins that it looks like a map of hell drawn by a monk in a medieval lunatic asylum. Pat Finch looks like what a heart attack would look like if it could walk around eating fish-and-chips and saying terrible things about Roscommon Football Club's starting lineup.
"There's a leprechaun navy?"
"Yes. Probably the least reliable fighting force in the known world," replied the captain. "The leprechaun navy is basically a heavily armed musical-theater troupe with two boats."