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312 pages
First published May 5, 2016
"What Hortensia didn't seem to understand was that sometimes we have to honour our ancestors and side with them. This meant we justified what was horrible and turned away from what needed scrutiny. This life of ignoring the obvious required a certain amount of stamina. The alternative to this was to set on a path to make rubbish of what had gone before us. This approach - of principles - activism and struggle - required stamina too. All the same, she'd chosen the other one."
"Her walk had been the first thing to go that really hurt. A dash of grey on her head, a slight dip in breasts small enough for dipping not to matter, an extra line on her neck had never bothered her. Her eyes were good, her teeth were hers. But the loss of her walk was the first sign that time was wicked and had fingers to take things. It wasn't just dates up on a wall, it was a war. Time took away her walk. She awoke one morning with the left leg aching, a throb that would come and go but never permanently leave. So now she lumbered, she limped; many times she sat, but since she'd reached sixty-five, she hadn't sauntered. When you're Hortensia James and you have pride but no walk to saunter it with--well, life is difficult."Both women have a complicated relationship to their own histories, and how they've disappointed themselves in the past. Some of the self-examination they engage in isn't pretty. I appreciated that the Omotoso didn't shy away from the ugliness of racism, and whether reconciliation is even possible by anyone who knows, anyone who remembers. She doesn't offer answers, but she still makes these characters live with that question. Just like all of us have to, if we bother to look.
"At the age of thirty-one Hortensia James started to hate. It took her some time, the way certain fads stutter before they really take off. She wrestled it for a while, resisted. She understood that hate was a kind of acid and she preferred not to burn. Also hate was unpopular and, back in those days anyway, she'd still wanted to be liked.This is the first book I've read from this year's Baileys Prize longlist, and it's a strong start. For the most part, it was a nuanced and insightful read, and especially for such a focused story--two small lives on the edge of history, near the end of their own history--it's graceful and encompassing.
The longing slowly left her, though. She went from resenting just Peter, to the housekeeper, the driver, the market woman. People were slow, simple-minded; they all harbored ill intentions, seemed determined to be unhelpful, especially when their jobs required being of service. They didn't answer questions properly, spoke as if they had been trained all their lives to frustrate whoever addressed them. Hortensia's foul temper kept her mouth in a line, her brow knit, her teeth pressed together and her eyes cutting. She got good at chopping the legs off people, with no knife, with only words. She was always angry and while, initially, she noticed it (worried that it shouldn't be there), it slowly became what was normal. She developed headaches. She tied a block of concrete to her ankle and let it drag her down. Hating, after all, was a drier form of drowning."