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Tomorrow I Become a Woman
What can I do?’ she asked. You can fight, I thought, you can fight for your daughters. But then again, who was I to speak of such things
When Gozie and Obianuju meet in August 1978, it is nothing short of fate. He is the perfect man: charismatic, handsome, Christian, and – most importantly – Igbo. He reminds her of her beloved Uncle Ikenna, her mother’s brother who disappeared fighting in the Civil War that devastated Nigeria less than a decade before. It is why, when Gozie asks her to marry him within months of meeting, she says yes, despite her lingering and uncertain feelings for Akin – a man her mother would never accept, as his tribe fought on the other side of the war. Akin makes her feel heard, understood, intelligent; Gozie makes her heart flutter.
For Uju, the daughter her mother never wanted, marriage would mean the attainment of that long elusive state of womanhood, and something else she has desired all her life – her mother’s approval. All will be well; he is the perfect match, the country will soon be democratic again and the economy is growing, or so she thinks …
Loosely based on the real stories of real women known to the author, Tomorrow I Become a Woman follows a complex relationship between mother and daughter as they grapple to come to terms with tremendous loss. This powerful debut by Aiwanose Odafen is a sensitive exploration of a woman’s struggle to meet societal and cultural expectations within the confines of a difficult marriage, a tribute to female friendship and a love story that spans two decades and continents against a backdrop of political turmoil and a fast-changing world.
When Gozie and Obianuju meet in August 1978, it is nothing short of fate. He is the perfect man: charismatic, handsome, Christian, and – most importantly – Igbo. He reminds her of her beloved Uncle Ikenna, her mother’s brother who disappeared fighting in the Civil War that devastated Nigeria less than a decade before. It is why, when Gozie asks her to marry him within months of meeting, she says yes, despite her lingering and uncertain feelings for Akin – a man her mother would never accept, as his tribe fought on the other side of the war. Akin makes her feel heard, understood, intelligent; Gozie makes her heart flutter.
For Uju, the daughter her mother never wanted, marriage would mean the attainment of that long elusive state of womanhood, and something else she has desired all her life – her mother’s approval. All will be well; he is the perfect match, the country will soon be democratic again and the economy is growing, or so she thinks …
Loosely based on the real stories of real women known to the author, Tomorrow I Become a Woman follows a complex relationship between mother and daughter as they grapple to come to terms with tremendous loss. This powerful debut by Aiwanose Odafen is a sensitive exploration of a woman’s struggle to meet societal and cultural expectations within the confines of a difficult marriage, a tribute to female friendship and a love story that spans two decades and continents against a backdrop of political turmoil and a fast-changing world.
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First published April 25, 2022
About the author
Aiwanose Odafen
2 books118 followersBorn in Lagos, Nigeria, Aiwanose Odafen is an MFA fiction student at the Iowa Writer's Workshop. She has contributed to published non-fiction works and participated in Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Purple Hibiscus Trust Writing Workshop. She was longlisted for the 2020 Commonwealth Writers Short Story Prize.
As a high school student, she was a gold and silver medalist in the National Mathematics Olympiad Competition. She graduated top of her class with a first-class degree in Accounting and is certified with the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants, United Kingdom. She holds an MBA from the Said Business School, University of Oxford.
Prior to becoming a writer, Aiwanose worked as a consultant across industries, most recently, in the public health sector with an international NGO, helping to save lives.
Tomorrow I Become a Woman, her first novel, was published by Scribner UK, an imprint of Simon & Schuster UK, in 2022.
As a high school student, she was a gold and silver medalist in the National Mathematics Olympiad Competition. She graduated top of her class with a first-class degree in Accounting and is certified with the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants, United Kingdom. She holds an MBA from the Said Business School, University of Oxford.
Prior to becoming a writer, Aiwanose worked as a consultant across industries, most recently, in the public health sector with an international NGO, helping to save lives.
Tomorrow I Become a Woman, her first novel, was published by Scribner UK, an imprint of Simon & Schuster UK, in 2022.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 345 reviews
July 24, 2022
All I have to say is that this author will pay for my therapy.
June 17, 2024
Tomorrow I become woman - when I turn 18, when I get married, when I have children, bear the brunt of an abusive husband and ultimately when I get a son.
That was the ultimate premise of becoming a woman in this book.
I was unable to put down this book while in equal measure I wanted to throw it against the wall since it annoyed me in the same way.
Different themes were explored:
Friendship among women showing the progression of the friendship thru the years, supporting each other and even keeping secrets that would ultimately kill the friendship when one of them dies. The trio of ladies was a testament to how much women need each other. “We women have to stick together, we have to help each other” this came true even for women who weren’t that close to each other.
Mother- daughter relationships. Wow. And not always in a good way. This book showed some toxic traits esp between the mothers who believed that a husband was a start and end all for their daughters. Consistently returning their children back to their abusive husbands since they don’t want to bear the shame that they left that marriage.
SHAME is a big thing. It’s a premise all on its own when a woman feels ashamed that her children are seeing her being beaten. Uju tries to show her daughters that despite what they have lived thru as women they can expect more. “It’s never too early to talk about marriage they are women after all.”
Patriarchy was a main thread in this book. The girls although they went to university couldn’t be complete without husbands. With husbands who the mothers would be happy to show to their friends and enemies alike. One from the same tribe, having some money and ultimately the woman to bear sons for him. Girl children were seen as a shame to the family. “She’’d referred to her daughters as shame in their presence and my heart hurt for them”. And oh did the ladies work hard to bear sons for their husbands and families. A woman without children was seen as a man. This theme can have me ranting all day. “To mould ourselves like clay, continuously transforming until we were in a form most pleasing.”
Religion and how it governs daily living. In this instance the judgement and not the growth expected from loving Christ. For me this being something experienced…. I felt it deeply. “It’s a woman’s job to build her home, not to tear it down” this including proverbs 31 it’s the hardest burden to bear for a woman seeking Christ and wanting to escape abuse.
Then there was unrequited love, Akin and Uju. The man she should have married but didn’t since he wasn’t from her tribe. It took two decades for them to finally be together. I would have loved for this to be explored some more.
Grief and how far and how long we can seek closure for our loved ones. “We are surrounded but alone with our grief”.
Resilience I loved this despite some of the hopelessness felt at certain points in the book. This would be a 6/5 stars rating for me. Well done for a first time book.
Another one of the best reads 2022.
My second time reading it and I have gotten a different set of emotions.
Third read and I realized a couple of things. It wasn’t very well edited. And the ending felt rushed. I think this gets corrected in the new book, which was my reason for rereading this book.
That was the ultimate premise of becoming a woman in this book.
I was unable to put down this book while in equal measure I wanted to throw it against the wall since it annoyed me in the same way.
Different themes were explored:
Friendship among women showing the progression of the friendship thru the years, supporting each other and even keeping secrets that would ultimately kill the friendship when one of them dies. The trio of ladies was a testament to how much women need each other. “We women have to stick together, we have to help each other” this came true even for women who weren’t that close to each other.
Mother- daughter relationships. Wow. And not always in a good way. This book showed some toxic traits esp between the mothers who believed that a husband was a start and end all for their daughters. Consistently returning their children back to their abusive husbands since they don’t want to bear the shame that they left that marriage.
SHAME is a big thing. It’s a premise all on its own when a woman feels ashamed that her children are seeing her being beaten. Uju tries to show her daughters that despite what they have lived thru as women they can expect more. “It’s never too early to talk about marriage they are women after all.”
Patriarchy was a main thread in this book. The girls although they went to university couldn’t be complete without husbands. With husbands who the mothers would be happy to show to their friends and enemies alike. One from the same tribe, having some money and ultimately the woman to bear sons for him. Girl children were seen as a shame to the family. “She’’d referred to her daughters as shame in their presence and my heart hurt for them”. And oh did the ladies work hard to bear sons for their husbands and families. A woman without children was seen as a man. This theme can have me ranting all day. “To mould ourselves like clay, continuously transforming until we were in a form most pleasing.”
Religion and how it governs daily living. In this instance the judgement and not the growth expected from loving Christ. For me this being something experienced…. I felt it deeply. “It’s a woman’s job to build her home, not to tear it down” this including proverbs 31 it’s the hardest burden to bear for a woman seeking Christ and wanting to escape abuse.
Then there was unrequited love, Akin and Uju. The man she should have married but didn’t since he wasn’t from her tribe. It took two decades for them to finally be together. I would have loved for this to be explored some more.
Grief and how far and how long we can seek closure for our loved ones. “We are surrounded but alone with our grief”.
Resilience I loved this despite some of the hopelessness felt at certain points in the book. This would be a 6/5 stars rating for me. Well done for a first time book.
Another one of the best reads 2022.
My second time reading it and I have gotten a different set of emotions.
Third read and I realized a couple of things. It wasn’t very well edited. And the ending felt rushed. I think this gets corrected in the new book, which was my reason for rereading this book.
November 1, 2023
Within two pages of the book I was enraged and it didnt stop until the very end. I get that it is the nature for the topics covered but honestly, this was heavy with a capital H. The book felt unreasonably long, at certain parts nothing really happened the author kept rehashing the same things.
The writing is great, I just needed it to be better edited.
The writing is great, I just needed it to be better edited.
October 2, 2022
4.5 stars
And i shouted “ Jesus what a life! oga i cannot bear this again let me go,marriage is not do and die” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
And i shouted “ Jesus what a life! oga i cannot bear this again let me go,marriage is not do and die” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
August 6, 2022
"You forgive him and move on. For the sake of you and your children. That is marriage. You manage, I manage, we all manage"
- Tomorrow I Become A Woman.
If you are reading this post, God will not allow you to manage in an abusive marriage in Jesus' Name.
Set in the 90s Obianuju narrates her journey from being a naive University girl to becoming a woman in a glorified marriage. She also narrates the before and after effects of the Biafra war from a Biafran perspective.
First, I think it important for every female to read this book, I strongly believe this should be a book introduced to students in senior secondary. It is important to educate girls while they are still young that marriage might be important but chasing your dreams and career as a woman is also very important.
I have a whole lot to say and a lot of anger built in me because of the characters in this book. Some much anger for a culture where marriage is seen as the ultimate goal for a female child, where it is declared useless to be overly educated as a woman,
where you can't have an intellectual conversation with a man because it might reduce your chances as a woman for marriage. A culture that (currently) still thinks that a woman is not a woman if she doesn't birth any sons for her husband. This book might have been written based on what our mothers experienced in the 80s and 90s but the sad truth is a lot of women still fight these battles in our current society.
I enjoyed reading this book even though some of the characters made me upset. I so badly wanted something horrible to happen to Gozie. Did I learn something from reading this? Yes, See ehn no matter how rich your husband is, as a woman you should have something to give you extra income (e get why).
If you enjoyed Ogadinma, this book is for you. If you thought the characters in Ogadinma pissed you off, the characters in this book will make you want to beat somebody. Abeg if you are looking for a book that isn't heavily themed on domestic violence avoid this book and look for something light make you no go dey complain give us.
4.5 🌟
- Tomorrow I Become A Woman.
If you are reading this post, God will not allow you to manage in an abusive marriage in Jesus' Name.
Set in the 90s Obianuju narrates her journey from being a naive University girl to becoming a woman in a glorified marriage. She also narrates the before and after effects of the Biafra war from a Biafran perspective.
First, I think it important for every female to read this book, I strongly believe this should be a book introduced to students in senior secondary. It is important to educate girls while they are still young that marriage might be important but chasing your dreams and career as a woman is also very important.
I have a whole lot to say and a lot of anger built in me because of the characters in this book. Some much anger for a culture where marriage is seen as the ultimate goal for a female child, where it is declared useless to be overly educated as a woman,
where you can't have an intellectual conversation with a man because it might reduce your chances as a woman for marriage. A culture that (currently) still thinks that a woman is not a woman if she doesn't birth any sons for her husband. This book might have been written based on what our mothers experienced in the 80s and 90s but the sad truth is a lot of women still fight these battles in our current society.
I enjoyed reading this book even though some of the characters made me upset. I so badly wanted something horrible to happen to Gozie. Did I learn something from reading this? Yes, See ehn no matter how rich your husband is, as a woman you should have something to give you extra income (e get why).
If you enjoyed Ogadinma, this book is for you. If you thought the characters in Ogadinma pissed you off, the characters in this book will make you want to beat somebody. Abeg if you are looking for a book that isn't heavily themed on domestic violence avoid this book and look for something light make you no go dey complain give us.
4.5 🌟
October 26, 2022
A very fast paced book. Easy to read and unabashedly soaked in Nigerian cultures — i especially love this.
Sigh, take care of yourself while you read this
Sigh, take care of yourself while you read this
September 12, 2022
When you have read Buchi Emecheta’s books, Olisakwe’s Ogadinma you would clearly understand why reading Aiwonse today only brings tears to my eyes. Similar plot lines with similar struggles only tells you one thing; over the years the stories of women have not gotten better and we need to do more for our daughters.
I imagine a situation where Uju’s mother was a soft, a listener, a friend to Uju. I imagine that she would never end up with Gozie. Uju would have never been reassured to bring a boy home or even accept his proposal. She won’t be told to be grateful to Gozie for marrying her and maybe she would have had the courage to bring Akin home.
I could swear Uju’s mother hated her because what kind of parent who loves their child would behave like this. But I have to be fair and to be fair is to be gentle of my judgement of Uju’s mother. Whatever she did, she did from a place of love and that was the only thing she knew how. She came from parents who married her to a total stranger, all she knows is how to slave yourself away to please a man, she also had endured years of abuse from her unkind husband who changed eventually. So she believed in change and the ability of Gozie to change if Uju stayed and pressured more. And so I would not judge her harshly.
The deal breaker for me was Gozie almost killing his daughter Ego and not caring about her. He was such a mean man, a man made into a god by the women in his life.
Let’s talk about the hunt for a male child. It’s real even in today’s world. Men still find their family incomplete without a boy, I cannot grasp the concept of that because the message it sends is that girls are half human beings who don’t belong their families but rather that are raised to marry and give birth to children. This narrative is very harmful to families and even children because a lot of burden is placed on the boy and the girl is made to feel like nothing.
I really enjoyed reading this book so much and I can’t be the only one who smiled anytime I read “smallie”. Akin is such a beautiful and patient soul and I’m happy he was there when Uju finally took her life into her hands.
I recommend this book
I imagine a situation where Uju’s mother was a soft, a listener, a friend to Uju. I imagine that she would never end up with Gozie. Uju would have never been reassured to bring a boy home or even accept his proposal. She won’t be told to be grateful to Gozie for marrying her and maybe she would have had the courage to bring Akin home.
I could swear Uju’s mother hated her because what kind of parent who loves their child would behave like this. But I have to be fair and to be fair is to be gentle of my judgement of Uju’s mother. Whatever she did, she did from a place of love and that was the only thing she knew how. She came from parents who married her to a total stranger, all she knows is how to slave yourself away to please a man, she also had endured years of abuse from her unkind husband who changed eventually. So she believed in change and the ability of Gozie to change if Uju stayed and pressured more. And so I would not judge her harshly.
The deal breaker for me was Gozie almost killing his daughter Ego and not caring about her. He was such a mean man, a man made into a god by the women in his life.
Let’s talk about the hunt for a male child. It’s real even in today’s world. Men still find their family incomplete without a boy, I cannot grasp the concept of that because the message it sends is that girls are half human beings who don’t belong their families but rather that are raised to marry and give birth to children. This narrative is very harmful to families and even children because a lot of burden is placed on the boy and the girl is made to feel like nothing.
I really enjoyed reading this book so much and I can’t be the only one who smiled anytime I read “smallie”. Akin is such a beautiful and patient soul and I’m happy he was there when Uju finally took her life into her hands.
I recommend this book
August 25, 2022
3.5 stars
If you want a book that will make you angry, this is perfect. I was enraged from very early on in the book to the last page. This book will leave you completely vexed. Vexed with a capital VEXED!!
The writing was so beautiful!
If you want a book that will make you angry, this is perfect. I was enraged from very early on in the book to the last page. This book will leave you completely vexed. Vexed with a capital VEXED!!
The writing was so beautiful!
December 1, 2022
I want many many many women, particularly Nigerian women, to read this book. The conversations it will provoke are critical. I LOVE the book and really want to go around handing out the book to everyone I meet. Everyone. Phew. NECESSARY
Read
August 28, 2022I don't know how to rate this book. It was an overwhelming read. Almost everything that could go wrong for an African woman in African society is in this book. It is heavy, it is triggering but it's necessary.
July 28, 2022
Another stunner. I enjoyed this one very much.
If you enjoyed Stay with me by Ayobami Adebayo then you'll enjoy this one as well.
If you enjoyed Stay with me by Ayobami Adebayo then you'll enjoy this one as well.
November 3, 2022
After months of being in a reading slump, this was exactly what I needed to pull me back.
What a story!
Many times it broke my heart to the helplessness of Uju, defeaning patriarchy was choking the lives of all the smart beautiful and educated women who became reduced to men's punching bags, cooks and baby makers it was sad to see Chinelo die because of how bad she wanted to bear her husband another son.
Daughters and girls were treated like in convinience and women were only treated right once they bore sons.
Uju trying to leave her abusive husband and having no support from her family despite the obvious blatant abuse was so heartbreaking but truly triumphant when she finally was able to.
Thoroughly entertaining and fast paced.
What a story!
Many times it broke my heart to the helplessness of Uju, defeaning patriarchy was choking the lives of all the smart beautiful and educated women who became reduced to men's punching bags, cooks and baby makers it was sad to see Chinelo die because of how bad she wanted to bear her husband another son.
Daughters and girls were treated like in convinience and women were only treated right once they bore sons.
Uju trying to leave her abusive husband and having no support from her family despite the obvious blatant abuse was so heartbreaking but truly triumphant when she finally was able to.
Thoroughly entertaining and fast paced.
November 3, 2022
5 ⭐️
BRB gone to weep.
BRB gone to weep.
November 13, 2022
4.5⭐️
This one was hard to get through. While I liked the culture, what these women went through could have been avoided if 'self' was put before community.
This one was hard to get through. While I liked the culture, what these women went through could have been avoided if 'self' was put before community.
February 28, 2023
The best way I could describe Tomorrow I Become A Woman is this:
A story of Uju, a Nigerian girl who grows into womanhood, seeking her mother’s approval, and trying to meet the societal and cultural expectations set for her, while all the time severely suffering for it.
After having three sons, Uju’s mother prayed for a daughter to share womanly experiences with. However, with each action she took: studying and excelling at school, always speaking her mind and so on, Uju soon realizes she isn’t the daughter her mother wanted. In an effort to make her mother happy, she brings home Chigozie, a man who she doesn’t really know that well, and settles into marriage with him. She does this despite having feelings for Akin, who was perfect for her, but unfortunately from a different tribe and thus wouldn’t get her mother’s approval.
Uju’s marriage was difficult to say the least. Physical, emotional and financial abuse is featured throughout her story and any time she tries to leave her husband, she is firmly reminded of her place as a woman, disappointment she would be without a husband and the shame she would bring to the family. Her mother being the most vocal of all this.
Many things in this book really annoyed me and I had to take breathing breaks. However, given the time period it was set, I truly can’t blame any of the characters for their actions. The sad truth is that in several African spaces, this is still a reality for many women.
On a positive note, this book was quite descriptive and humorous and gave some clear lessons about Nigeria’a history. I would highly recommend it.
A story of Uju, a Nigerian girl who grows into womanhood, seeking her mother’s approval, and trying to meet the societal and cultural expectations set for her, while all the time severely suffering for it.
After having three sons, Uju’s mother prayed for a daughter to share womanly experiences with. However, with each action she took: studying and excelling at school, always speaking her mind and so on, Uju soon realizes she isn’t the daughter her mother wanted. In an effort to make her mother happy, she brings home Chigozie, a man who she doesn’t really know that well, and settles into marriage with him. She does this despite having feelings for Akin, who was perfect for her, but unfortunately from a different tribe and thus wouldn’t get her mother’s approval.
Uju’s marriage was difficult to say the least. Physical, emotional and financial abuse is featured throughout her story and any time she tries to leave her husband, she is firmly reminded of her place as a woman, disappointment she would be without a husband and the shame she would bring to the family. Her mother being the most vocal of all this.
Many things in this book really annoyed me and I had to take breathing breaks. However, given the time period it was set, I truly can’t blame any of the characters for their actions. The sad truth is that in several African spaces, this is still a reality for many women.
On a positive note, this book was quite descriptive and humorous and gave some clear lessons about Nigeria’a history. I would highly recommend it.
February 2, 2024
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Yho! I could not stop crying 😭 but as soon as I’d put it down to get a good cry in, I’d pick it up almost immediately after and go on.
I want you to imagine any and all forms of sexism that exist and it’s probably been addressed in this book. I felt so much rage and despair; my heart bleeds for all African women.
Sometimes it feels like the world and society is constantly trying to show that we are disposable. At the onset you are less than because you are a woman and your worth just keeps getting chipped away if 1. you’re unmarried, 2. can’t bear children or 3. can’t bear a son. Even after you jump through all these huddles you’re still not enough; you must tolerate infidelity, violence and shame should your children fail to succeed.
What’s worse is that other women suffering under the same system will still hold your worth to these same standards. So will the church. “You must be strong”!, “Marriage is forever”, “You can’t get a divorce”, “He’s a man, at least he is providing for you”.
Boy was I mad reading this.
But I am so happy for Uju, she did what she had to and it was beautiful to see her friends be a support system although not always perfect.
Our worth is so much more that all these expectations. You are enough as you are with or without the titles - mother or wife. You are enough as you. Sending all the love to my African sisters.
Yho! I could not stop crying 😭 but as soon as I’d put it down to get a good cry in, I’d pick it up almost immediately after and go on.
I want you to imagine any and all forms of sexism that exist and it’s probably been addressed in this book. I felt so much rage and despair; my heart bleeds for all African women.
Sometimes it feels like the world and society is constantly trying to show that we are disposable. At the onset you are less than because you are a woman and your worth just keeps getting chipped away if 1. you’re unmarried, 2. can’t bear children or 3. can’t bear a son. Even after you jump through all these huddles you’re still not enough; you must tolerate infidelity, violence and shame should your children fail to succeed.
What’s worse is that other women suffering under the same system will still hold your worth to these same standards. So will the church. “You must be strong”!, “Marriage is forever”, “You can’t get a divorce”, “He’s a man, at least he is providing for you”.
Boy was I mad reading this.
But I am so happy for Uju, she did what she had to and it was beautiful to see her friends be a support system although not always perfect.
Our worth is so much more that all these expectations. You are enough as you are with or without the titles - mother or wife. You are enough as you. Sending all the love to my African sisters.
January 3, 2023
I have mixed feelings about this book. I didn't like or relate to any of the characters. The mum was really annoying and I didn't agree with a lot of the decisions the main character made. But at the same time, I understand what the author was trying to convey about growing up in a patriarchal/abusive environment
November 30, 2022
"𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚗. 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗. 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚐𝚎. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚐𝚎, 𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚐𝚎, 𝚠𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚐𝚎"
About the book; 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚, 𝙖 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥 𝙤𝙛 𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙞𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩-𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙.
𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙐𝙟𝙪,𝙖 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙢𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙮, 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙂𝙤𝙯𝙞𝙚.
Thoughts: 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐩𝐬𝐞𝐭.𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤. 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠.
I recommend this to every other woman out there.... add this to your tbr.
#aiwanoseodafen #aiwanoseodafentomorrowibecomeawoman
About the book; 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚, 𝙖 𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥 𝙤𝙛 𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙞𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩-𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙.
𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙐𝙟𝙪,𝙖 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙢𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙮, 𝙬𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙂𝙤𝙯𝙞𝙚.
Thoughts: 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐩𝐬𝐞𝐭.𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤. 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠.
I recommend this to every other woman out there.... add this to your tbr.
#aiwanoseodafen #aiwanoseodafentomorrowibecomeawoman
November 21, 2022
I know it is implied but I'd like to think that Smallie got her happily ever after. It's the least she deserved after all that she went through. Now let me go listen to some Marvin Gaye songs.
July 11, 2023
didn't really connect with this book , interesting in parts
September 24, 2022
I didn't dislike this book and it also lets you read it rather quickly because it is written in a fluent manner, despite frequent forays into Yoruba language or some other Nigerian dialect completely unknown to me.
What I didn't like, however, was the plot; it seems to me that I have read this plot, with some minor variations on the theme, in every book of the genre published in the last 10 years from Chimamanda 'ngozie Adichie onward. Is it possible that the lives of African American women are all like this? Overbearing fathers, husbands who beat them, mothers who don't help them, and always hovering between an animist-tribal past and a future that in any case does not look rosy because they are women and black?
Questo libro non mi é dispiaciuto e si lascia anche leggere piuttosto in fretta perché é scritto in modo scorrevole, nonostante le frequenti incursioni in lingua yoruba o qualche altro dialetto nigeriano a me completamente sconosciuto.
Quello che peró non mi é piaciuta é la trama, mi sembra di aver letto questa trama con alcune piccole variazioni sul tema, in ogni libro del genere pubblicato negli ultimi 10 anni a partire da Chimamanda 'ngozie Adichie in poi. Possibile che la vita delle donne afro-americane sia tutta cosí? Padri padroni, mariti che le picchiano, madri che non le aiutano e sempre in bilico tra un passato animista-tribale ed un futuro che comunque non si presenta roseo perché donne e nere?
What I didn't like, however, was the plot; it seems to me that I have read this plot, with some minor variations on the theme, in every book of the genre published in the last 10 years from Chimamanda 'ngozie Adichie onward. Is it possible that the lives of African American women are all like this? Overbearing fathers, husbands who beat them, mothers who don't help them, and always hovering between an animist-tribal past and a future that in any case does not look rosy because they are women and black?
Questo libro non mi é dispiaciuto e si lascia anche leggere piuttosto in fretta perché é scritto in modo scorrevole, nonostante le frequenti incursioni in lingua yoruba o qualche altro dialetto nigeriano a me completamente sconosciuto.
Quello che peró non mi é piaciuta é la trama, mi sembra di aver letto questa trama con alcune piccole variazioni sul tema, in ogni libro del genere pubblicato negli ultimi 10 anni a partire da Chimamanda 'ngozie Adichie in poi. Possibile che la vita delle donne afro-americane sia tutta cosí? Padri padroni, mariti che le picchiano, madri che non le aiutano e sempre in bilico tra un passato animista-tribale ed un futuro che comunque non si presenta roseo perché donne e nere?
August 9, 2024
My goodness!!!!
The suffering women had to endure in this book made me really weary :(
Honestly if this book wasn’t picked as my Bookclub read for the month I would have dropped it midway as a DNF!!
So so heavy and triggering. 😔😭😣
The suffering women had to endure in this book made me really weary :(
Honestly if this book wasn’t picked as my Bookclub read for the month I would have dropped it midway as a DNF!!
So so heavy and triggering. 😔😭😣
August 17, 2022
Every time I try to run away from Nigeria, I find myself sucked in and pulled back in very violently. I must therefore, now and hereby categorically state that I have stopped fighting it…Nigerians can write and they can write beautiful stories. Take that and make of it what you will.
I found this title interesting, I had a feeling it would be heavy because Womanhood has always been a heavy subject, but I did not expect that it would take me on the emotional rollercoaster it did, which had me oscillating between anger (mostly and definitely anger), resignation, and then hope, quickly followed by heartbreak and pain, and back to being hopeful again. This is one of those books you read that leave you introspective and emotionally spent. Here, are characters who stay with you for a long time after you finish reading – those you love and hate in equal measure.
Tomorrow I Become a Woman follows the story of Uju, born as an only girl in a family of 3 boys, with an overbearing (and I use this word ever so lightly here) mother, and a somewhat detached, yet mildly attentive father. We meet Uju in her last semester at the University – her and her two friends Adaugo and Chinelo are inseparable and have always been since they were toddlers. When Uju sees Gozie for the first time singing in the church choir, she instantly falls for him and is pleasantly surprised when he reciprocates her affections. He seems like the perfect man – he is a Christian and Igbo. Most importantly, he is the kind of man her mother would approve of. Not like Akin, who she has a deep connection with but is Yoruba and out of the question.
When Uju and Gozie get married, it doesn't take long for him to show his hand and it comes down on Uju in blows and kicks. Uju endures a tumultuous decade and then another of a violent marriage that robs her of her essence and identity. When she seeks refuge at home, her mother’s rhetoric is the same – ‘Get him a son so you can become a real woman.’ A real woman perseveres! Do you think your father was any better?’ ‘Do not embarrass me and do not talk back to your husband.’ and so she stays, for her daughters’ sake and because she deep down craves her mother’s approval. But when is enough really enough?
Tomorrow I Become a Woman speaks broadly about the elusive state of ‘Womanhood’, where there seem to be societal constructed stumbling blocks to the attainment of this elusive state. For Uju and her friends, their womanhood was pegged on their ability to secure husbands and then birth children, more so boys. And then it was pegged on how much they could endure in their marriages. The goal post keeps moving and striving to attain womanhood means losing who you are completely, losing self, losing your voice and everything that makes you, you. The unspoken being that you have to put everything you are aside to become a woman.
This is also a book about female friendships – Uju, Ada and Chinelo find ways to lean on each other even in tough times. They all endure difficult marriages and they are each other’s constants. They draw a lot of strength from each other – in some instances, to the dismay of their parents. They always found a way to find humour in life’s servings which I found very refreshing. These three women also exemplify how difficult navigating friendships within a group can be. I still think about them and hope they find healing and a way back to each other.
It is also an ode to African mothers and our mothers’ generation, whose marriages may have looked a certain way and who ultimately sacrificed so much to give us – their children, stability at huge personal costs.
Aiwanose has written a magnificent debut. I have loved every single thing about it and I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you are to do yourself a favour this year, it would be to grab a copy of this book with the quickness and read it.
I found this title interesting, I had a feeling it would be heavy because Womanhood has always been a heavy subject, but I did not expect that it would take me on the emotional rollercoaster it did, which had me oscillating between anger (mostly and definitely anger), resignation, and then hope, quickly followed by heartbreak and pain, and back to being hopeful again. This is one of those books you read that leave you introspective and emotionally spent. Here, are characters who stay with you for a long time after you finish reading – those you love and hate in equal measure.
Tomorrow I Become a Woman follows the story of Uju, born as an only girl in a family of 3 boys, with an overbearing (and I use this word ever so lightly here) mother, and a somewhat detached, yet mildly attentive father. We meet Uju in her last semester at the University – her and her two friends Adaugo and Chinelo are inseparable and have always been since they were toddlers. When Uju sees Gozie for the first time singing in the church choir, she instantly falls for him and is pleasantly surprised when he reciprocates her affections. He seems like the perfect man – he is a Christian and Igbo. Most importantly, he is the kind of man her mother would approve of. Not like Akin, who she has a deep connection with but is Yoruba and out of the question.
When Uju and Gozie get married, it doesn't take long for him to show his hand and it comes down on Uju in blows and kicks. Uju endures a tumultuous decade and then another of a violent marriage that robs her of her essence and identity. When she seeks refuge at home, her mother’s rhetoric is the same – ‘Get him a son so you can become a real woman.’ A real woman perseveres! Do you think your father was any better?’ ‘Do not embarrass me and do not talk back to your husband.’ and so she stays, for her daughters’ sake and because she deep down craves her mother’s approval. But when is enough really enough?
Tomorrow I Become a Woman speaks broadly about the elusive state of ‘Womanhood’, where there seem to be societal constructed stumbling blocks to the attainment of this elusive state. For Uju and her friends, their womanhood was pegged on their ability to secure husbands and then birth children, more so boys. And then it was pegged on how much they could endure in their marriages. The goal post keeps moving and striving to attain womanhood means losing who you are completely, losing self, losing your voice and everything that makes you, you. The unspoken being that you have to put everything you are aside to become a woman.
This is also a book about female friendships – Uju, Ada and Chinelo find ways to lean on each other even in tough times. They all endure difficult marriages and they are each other’s constants. They draw a lot of strength from each other – in some instances, to the dismay of their parents. They always found a way to find humour in life’s servings which I found very refreshing. These three women also exemplify how difficult navigating friendships within a group can be. I still think about them and hope they find healing and a way back to each other.
It is also an ode to African mothers and our mothers’ generation, whose marriages may have looked a certain way and who ultimately sacrificed so much to give us – their children, stability at huge personal costs.
Aiwanose has written a magnificent debut. I have loved every single thing about it and I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you are to do yourself a favour this year, it would be to grab a copy of this book with the quickness and read it.
October 8, 2022
It's a 3.5 for me.
TW: Domestic abuse.
TW: Domestic abuse.
October 15, 2022
What do you mean this is a debut? Ma'am? What?
The brilliance that is this book, heart-wrenching like where you have to put it down because you are quite overwhelmed. Obianuju did not have an easy life at all, she gave her all and was almost left with nothing.
There were moments in the book which felt slightly disconnected or rather difficult to follow in the plot. One moment, Uju is talking with her friends after church then one shares the same sentiments as her mother then we are in a conversation, she had with her mother but it's so far off from what had been talked about then it's back again to the friends so moments like that were quite a few, you really had to keep up with.
The mother makes my blood boil when I think of her like ma'am?? you only have one daughter, just one yet she refused to listen to her in fact she sided more with the husband if not all the damn time. It was infuriating and I can only imagine how frustrating it is, to not be heard or seen even when you are going through it ALL. She was actually willing to see Uju leave with a body bag and sure believe she would've been replaced immediately because her husband - scum of the earth that was given power & has money.
Her husband, damn Gozie, hiding behind faith - men just be doing out of pocket things.
The brothers- chef's kiss to them, they stood up for their sister even if they just stopped eventually but the times that they did stand up for her.
This story is too familiar, it's one that has been told over and over again yet it doesn't get easier or better to read with each new character that tells it. It's too real, to palatable, too tangible, you need not go through it in order to sympthathise, she is one of many and at least she chose her kids at the end not even herself but her children gave her the will power to push forward and fight for them & herself eventually.
The ending, not me weeping chile.
The brilliance that is this book, heart-wrenching like where you have to put it down because you are quite overwhelmed. Obianuju did not have an easy life at all, she gave her all and was almost left with nothing.
There were moments in the book which felt slightly disconnected or rather difficult to follow in the plot. One moment, Uju is talking with her friends after church then one shares the same sentiments as her mother then we are in a conversation, she had with her mother but it's so far off from what had been talked about then it's back again to the friends so moments like that were quite a few, you really had to keep up with.
The mother makes my blood boil when I think of her like ma'am?? you only have one daughter, just one yet she refused to listen to her in fact she sided more with the husband if not all the damn time. It was infuriating and I can only imagine how frustrating it is, to not be heard or seen even when you are going through it ALL. She was actually willing to see Uju leave with a body bag and sure believe she would've been replaced immediately because her husband - scum of the earth that was given power & has money.
Her husband, damn Gozie, hiding behind faith - men just be doing out of pocket things.
The brothers- chef's kiss to them, they stood up for their sister even if they just stopped eventually but the times that they did stand up for her.
This story is too familiar, it's one that has been told over and over again yet it doesn't get easier or better to read with each new character that tells it. It's too real, to palatable, too tangible, you need not go through it in order to sympthathise, she is one of many and at least she chose her kids at the end not even herself but her children gave her the will power to push forward and fight for them & herself eventually.
The ending, not me weeping chile.
January 13, 2023
Tomorrow I Become a Woman is a story set in 1970s Nigeria just after the civil war between Nigeria and the Republic of Biafra.
Uju, a university student is very good friends with a young and handsome lecturer, she might even love him but he is Yoruba and she is Igbo. The ghosts of war lingers and while she spends a lot of time with him on campus, she can’t think about taking him to her Igbo parents.
In comes Gozie, he is handsome, sings like an angel in the choir, sought after by all the church ladies and he is Igbo! Within a month, he asked Uju to marry him and she said yes!
A lot happens after that but I won’t tell you. You have to experience this book yourself. It is so good!
Themes covered include the aftermath of war, loss, motherhood, love, domestic abuse, friendship, religion and health.
Events in this story reflect the time and place setting well. Dele Giwa and the letter bomb came to mind. People rejoicing over the death of the Head of State and other events thrown in reminded me of growing up in Nigeria.
The protagonist, Uju narrates this story well and introduces us to her two best friends, her parents (especially her overbearing mother) and her daughter.
I love how the words in this book were crafted, how music was used in parts and how the characters were developed. A totally enjoyable read.
Uju, a university student is very good friends with a young and handsome lecturer, she might even love him but he is Yoruba and she is Igbo. The ghosts of war lingers and while she spends a lot of time with him on campus, she can’t think about taking him to her Igbo parents.
In comes Gozie, he is handsome, sings like an angel in the choir, sought after by all the church ladies and he is Igbo! Within a month, he asked Uju to marry him and she said yes!
A lot happens after that but I won’t tell you. You have to experience this book yourself. It is so good!
Themes covered include the aftermath of war, loss, motherhood, love, domestic abuse, friendship, religion and health.
Events in this story reflect the time and place setting well. Dele Giwa and the letter bomb came to mind. People rejoicing over the death of the Head of State and other events thrown in reminded me of growing up in Nigeria.
The protagonist, Uju narrates this story well and introduces us to her two best friends, her parents (especially her overbearing mother) and her daughter.
I love how the words in this book were crafted, how music was used in parts and how the characters were developed. A totally enjoyable read.
September 18, 2023
such a profound amount of suffering with little foil to counteract it…the protagonist, uju, has a really thoughtful understanding of the world yet does little to actually define her circumstances for herself. i would’ve loved if we could’ve watched her eldest daughter, nwakaego, eventually go into the world and be the person, the woman she refused to be over and over again. it’s frustrating for a character (in this case, uju) to have such a dazzling inner monologue where they see things crystal clearly but crumple at the will of the status quo at every given chance in their real life.
really well-written but i can’t tolerate this amount of misogyny and powerlessness in just one book.
really well-written but i can’t tolerate this amount of misogyny and powerlessness in just one book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 10, 2022
I noticed the plot is very similar to ogadinma.The same domestic violence,the imprisonment of the husband and other issues .The ending could have been better,the writing style felt scattered and rushed.It was an entertaining and thought provoking read.
March 19, 2024
5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
November 17, 2023
Tomorrow I Become a Woma is a captivating and illuminating read that invites reflection on the diverse facets of womanhood, challenging societal norms, and the universal quest for self-discovery and empowerment. Its engaging narratives and relatable characters make it a compelling exploration of the human experience, particularly through the lens of femininity and the various paths women navigate in their lives.
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