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Don't Think, Dear: On Loving and Leaving Ballet
"Expertly choreographed and long overdue, this is the nuanced reckoning ballet needs, ballerinas deserve, and all feminists should note." - Oprah Daily An incisive exploration of ballet’s role in the modern world, told through the experience of the author and her classmates at the most elite ballet school in the the School of American Ballet. Growing up, Alice Robb dreamed of becoming a ballet dancer. But by age fifteen, she had to face the reality that she would never meet the impossibly high standards of the hyper-competitive ballet world. After she quit, she tried to avoid ballet—only to realize, years later, that she was still haunted by the lessons she had absorbed in the mirror-lined studios of Lincoln Center, and that they had served her well in the wider world. The traits ballet takes to an extreme—stoicism, silence, submission—are valued in girls and women everywhere. Profound, nuanced, and passionately researched, Don’t Think, Dear is Robb’s excavation of her adolescent years as a dancer and an exploration of how those days informed her life for years to come. As she grapples with the pressure she faced as a student at the School of American Ballet, she investigates the fates of her former classmates as well. From sweet and innocent Emily, whose body was deemed thin enough only when she was too ill to eat, to precocious and talented Meiying, who was thrilled to be cast as the young star of the Nutcracker but dismayed to see Asians stereotyped onstage, and Lily, who won the carrot they had all been chasing—an apprenticeship with the New York City Ballet—only to spend her first season dancing eight shows a week on a broken foot. Theirs are stories of heartbreak and resilience, of reinvention and regret. Along the way, Robb weaves in the myths of famous ballet personalities past and present, from the groundbreaking Misty Copeland, who rose from poverty to become an icon of American ballet, to the blind diva Alicia Alonso, who used the heat of the spotlights and the vibrations of the music to navigate space onstage. By examining the psyche of a dancer, Don’t Think, Dear grapples with the contradictions and challenges of being a woman today.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published February 28, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 290 reviews
January 2, 2023
4.5 Stars
When I saw the pink ballet shoes on the book cover I was immediately drawn in. I was always attracted to ballerinas as a child, and fondly remember one spinning elegantly in a music box I owned. I also took ballet lessons while in grammar school, though my true talents were with tap dancing. While I've always romanticized ballerinas I never truly knew of their dedication and physical suffering until reading this book.
The author's greatest wish was to be chosen as a professional ballerina as a teenager, but didn't make the grade. Like others who suffered the same disappointment, she found success in another medium- writing. Robb tracks the life paths of other wannabe ballerinas from her youth, spinning stories of their physical and mental breakdowns, difficulties in establishing romantic relationships, eating disorders, etc. Underlying all of these cases is the singular thing in common: that they can never quite accept their failure to become a professional ballerina. It's always there, and even defines whatever profession they ultimately transition to. This was illustrated perfectly by one such young woman named Meiying who became a painter of ballerina-themed art.
A name that dominated the book was a legendary ballet choreographer named Balanchine who was notorious for favoring and ultimately marrying various ballerinas, a cut-throat intensity to push dancers beyond their physical limits and caution them to keep their weight down, or "lengthen". Despite multiple boundaries Balanchine would cross of propriety, iconic ballerinas worshipped him unquestioningly. Even after his death Balanchine's teachings dominated as the standard of excellence and would be employed by others.
Another interesting facet was how young women would be handled by their male ballet counterparts, with their hands practically in the womens' private area. This became such an established norm that when these young ballerinas might make some sort of contact with the opposite sex they wouldn't even understand when someone was hitting on them. Also, injuries and pain weren't doted upon; as such ballerinas would have a higher threshold for pain than the average person.
This was truly a fascinating dive into another world which has whet my appetite to read other books, watch documentaries and movies about this subject. There were no photos included in this advance reader copy, but perhaps there will be in the final publication. No matter, I found myself constantly performing internet searches as I read the book, my interest was so piqued. If I had one teensy complaint I would have edited the book just a little bit shorter. It is just over 300 pages, but she really got to the "pointe" way before then. However, Robb has a beautiful and easy-flowing writing style, and this is an excellent book.
Thank you to the publisher Mariner Books for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley
When I saw the pink ballet shoes on the book cover I was immediately drawn in. I was always attracted to ballerinas as a child, and fondly remember one spinning elegantly in a music box I owned. I also took ballet lessons while in grammar school, though my true talents were with tap dancing. While I've always romanticized ballerinas I never truly knew of their dedication and physical suffering until reading this book.
The author's greatest wish was to be chosen as a professional ballerina as a teenager, but didn't make the grade. Like others who suffered the same disappointment, she found success in another medium- writing. Robb tracks the life paths of other wannabe ballerinas from her youth, spinning stories of their physical and mental breakdowns, difficulties in establishing romantic relationships, eating disorders, etc. Underlying all of these cases is the singular thing in common: that they can never quite accept their failure to become a professional ballerina. It's always there, and even defines whatever profession they ultimately transition to. This was illustrated perfectly by one such young woman named Meiying who became a painter of ballerina-themed art.
A name that dominated the book was a legendary ballet choreographer named Balanchine who was notorious for favoring and ultimately marrying various ballerinas, a cut-throat intensity to push dancers beyond their physical limits and caution them to keep their weight down, or "lengthen". Despite multiple boundaries Balanchine would cross of propriety, iconic ballerinas worshipped him unquestioningly. Even after his death Balanchine's teachings dominated as the standard of excellence and would be employed by others.
Another interesting facet was how young women would be handled by their male ballet counterparts, with their hands practically in the womens' private area. This became such an established norm that when these young ballerinas might make some sort of contact with the opposite sex they wouldn't even understand when someone was hitting on them. Also, injuries and pain weren't doted upon; as such ballerinas would have a higher threshold for pain than the average person.
This was truly a fascinating dive into another world which has whet my appetite to read other books, watch documentaries and movies about this subject. There were no photos included in this advance reader copy, but perhaps there will be in the final publication. No matter, I found myself constantly performing internet searches as I read the book, my interest was so piqued. If I had one teensy complaint I would have edited the book just a little bit shorter. It is just over 300 pages, but she really got to the "pointe" way before then. However, Robb has a beautiful and easy-flowing writing style, and this is an excellent book.
Thank you to the publisher Mariner Books for providing an advance reader copy via NetGalley
May 29, 2023
I’m sad to say that I really struggled to get through this one, but I trust there will always be readers of ballet books out there to ensure the show will go on. I fully expected a memoir, based on both title and synopsis, which this isn’t. It’s a collection of short essays, mostly relating to the history and/or dysfunction of ballet, and that only marginally relate to one another and to the overarching topic of loving and leaving ballet. The historical anecdotes are lightly researched and seemed already familiar from having read them elsewhere, as these are not exactly uncharted waters for those of us who regularly consume ballet books - like we already know how figures such as Balanchine and Peter Martins could be major jerks, to put it extremely lightly (for anyone who’s been paying attention, it’s been pretty widely and well established that they are abusers). This was therefore disjointed and disappointing for me, but I remain hopeful that it will be of more interest to those who haven’t recently read a number of other memoirs and works of nonfiction addressing similar topics in ballet. Sadly, I think I may be reaching the bottom of my personal reading barrel in terms of ballet books!
February 25, 2023
Alice Robb was one of Balanchine's girls: as a student at the School of American Ballet, it didn't matter that Balanchine had been dead twenty years; his ghost still roamed the halls, and girls clustered, breathless, around dancers who once upon a time had studied with Balanchine, who could impart his wisdom.
Robb didn't make it as a professional dancer. Ultimately, her body was not built for the exacting requirements demanded of Balanchine's ballerinas, and she moved on to other things. Yet ballet had wrapped its pointe ribbons around her soul—she could leave ballet, but it would not leave her. Thus this book: Don't Think, Dear is part memoir of being a student, part dive into the history of Balanchine and all that surrounded him: the New York City Ballet, the School of American Ballet, the Balanchine technique (which enabled dancers to perform surprising new feats, but at a steep cost to their bodies), the way Balanchine demanded dangerous thinness and complete submission of his dancers.
I've read many, many ballet memoirs (though I'm no former dancer—I took one community class as a kid, then moved on to other activities—I just have arbitrary reading interests), but I am quite sure that Robb has read many, many more ballet memoirs than I have. If you too have read more than your fair share, you'll recognize some of the material Robb quotes from but also find yourself highlighting passages or folding down corners as you find new things to read. I admit that my knowledge of past generations of ballet dancers is not as sharp as it could be, and it was fascinating to read about Margot Fonteyn and Alicia Alonso in particular—the former, famed for her artistry but prepared to throw it all away for a toxic marriage; the latter, refusing to let increasing blindness keep her off the stage.
If Chloe Angyal's Turning Pointe was a bit too much modern history and not enough memoir for you, but you want something more contemplative than a standard ballet memoir—or if you're interested in hearing more stories that don't read like a litany of successful performances with the occasional worrying injury thrown in—Don't Think, Dear makes for a compelling middle ground of personal narrative and broader view. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to peruse Robb's bibliography...
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
Robb didn't make it as a professional dancer. Ultimately, her body was not built for the exacting requirements demanded of Balanchine's ballerinas, and she moved on to other things. Yet ballet had wrapped its pointe ribbons around her soul—she could leave ballet, but it would not leave her. Thus this book: Don't Think, Dear is part memoir of being a student, part dive into the history of Balanchine and all that surrounded him: the New York City Ballet, the School of American Ballet, the Balanchine technique (which enabled dancers to perform surprising new feats, but at a steep cost to their bodies), the way Balanchine demanded dangerous thinness and complete submission of his dancers.
I've read many, many ballet memoirs (though I'm no former dancer—I took one community class as a kid, then moved on to other activities—I just have arbitrary reading interests), but I am quite sure that Robb has read many, many more ballet memoirs than I have. If you too have read more than your fair share, you'll recognize some of the material Robb quotes from but also find yourself highlighting passages or folding down corners as you find new things to read. I admit that my knowledge of past generations of ballet dancers is not as sharp as it could be, and it was fascinating to read about Margot Fonteyn and Alicia Alonso in particular—the former, famed for her artistry but prepared to throw it all away for a toxic marriage; the latter, refusing to let increasing blindness keep her off the stage.
If Chloe Angyal's Turning Pointe was a bit too much modern history and not enough memoir for you, but you want something more contemplative than a standard ballet memoir—or if you're interested in hearing more stories that don't read like a litany of successful performances with the occasional worrying injury thrown in—Don't Think, Dear makes for a compelling middle ground of personal narrative and broader view. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to peruse Robb's bibliography...
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
January 31, 2024
Oh boy. I don't know where to start with this one. To ease our way in, I suppose I simply don't understand the point? Based on the title and jacket description I expected more of a memoir of the author's and her friends' experiences at SAB and other top-tier ballet training programs with a bit of an essay vibe as she ties their experiences into a more investigative look at what it means to be a woman in ballet, but at no point does this happen, and instead it's just kind of all over the place.
Because her experience training at a high level is limited to just a few years (based on the timeline given, it seems SAB dropped her around age 12 and she quit entirely by 15), the self-reflection and personal insight is bare bones, and she only interviews a small handful of her former classmates. These interviews were the most interesting part of the book, but their stories make up just a tiny percentage of the book's content, which is largely just recaps of memoirs from prima ballerinas like Margot Fonteyn, Suzanne Farrell, and Gelsey Kirkland. I guess if I hadn't already read their books or heard their stories it would have been interesting, but instead I felt like I was just being recapped at for a couple hundred pages, especially since there were no real original takeaways from these stories, making it a whole lot of filler and not much of anything else.
That's probably my biggest problem. The author will make a vague claim about ballet culture that is so stereotypical, people who have never stepped foot in a studio would be like, yes, and? Like, ballet moms are intense! Ballerinas are masochists who dance on broken bones! Ballet is competitive and women must be passive creatures who submit and bend to the will of men! After being given the theme of whatever gripe the author is trying to come to terms with personally, we'll get five or so pages of recaps from these memoirs of dancers who were at their prime in the 60s and 70s, maybe an anecdote from one of her own ballet friends, a flimsy paragraph that generalizes these experiences for all ballerinas who have ever existed, and that's all. There's no deeper dive into why the culture is the way it is, aside from kind of just blaming Balanchine or all men in general, because women in ballet exist solely to be manipulated by men and cannot speak, think, or exist in any other way.
This is essentially the conclusion to every chapter or hypothesis, and to the book itself, which I guess is fine even though it's something we've seen discussed for close to 50 years, but the author doesn't go any further than that, and also doesn't include any more recent evidence that suggests things are starting to move in a new direction, especially as women over the past decade or so have been slowly but surely taking steps to change things. I'm not arguing that ballet culture ISN'T as she describes, and even despite recent developments, I'm 100% positive that women are still terrified to speak up about what they endure lest it cost them a spot in the company they spent years training for, but to write a book in 2023 and only include examples of ballet culture from 2004 and earlier is not something a College Writing 101 professor would allow, so it's wild that editors let it fly.
Where substance is lacking, the author's chip on her shoulder absolutely is not, so when she does occasionally insert her own experiences – which is again minimal due to her short time training at a high level – it just comes off as whiny in the sense that every problem in her life stems from her being rejected by SAB at 12. Like, it's sad that she didn't make it further after putting in the hard work solely because her body wasn't ideal for the kind of archaic requirements SAB has, but if you're letting your experiences as a tween define your entire life post-ballet, I don't know what else to say aside from see a therapist? We are mostly a world of broken people traumatized by our childhoods whether we did high-level ballet or not, and this special snowflake "only ballerinas understand [insert very common feeling]" is just bizarre. Sure, most people don't know the specific pains that can come with dancing on pointe or how it feels to come close to landing a spot in a ballet company only to get rejected or injured at the last minute, but everyone knows pain and rejection and heartbreak, and there are about a million life experiences much more traumatic than SAB dropping you at 12. Again, I get it, it sucks to spend the bulk of your time training to do something only to be turned away in her case, and it sucks even more to have your career ended by injury, or to have been a victim of a culture where abuse, eating disorders, and other horrors run rampant. But at the same time, training at this level is a privilege, as it's incredibly expensive and reserved mainly for the wealthy, and no one is forcing you to do it (unless you have an Intense Ballet Mom, I suppose, in which case your problems run much deeper than ballet culture), so if you hate how it makes you feel about yourself, your body, your mental health...quit? I get it, it's not easy, but as someone who had to leave behind something that was once my entire life because I knew it was best for me at that time, I don't relate at all to someone who does nothing but complain about their circumstances while refusing to change them and instead is like...bragging about their suffering? In this sense, I found the author just kind of disconnected from reality and lacking perspective. Yes, ballet is very hard. No, it is not the most difficult thing anyone has ever done in the history of humanity.
That brings me to my next point. One chapter of the book focuses the body image issues and eating disorders that stem from ballet culture, and the extremes ballerinas go to in order to maintain the ideal "ballet body." The argument here is that no other sport or activity is as demanding on the body as ballet, but while the level of thinness expected in ballet is pretty unique to this world, many other sports require impossibly high physical expectations and standards, especially aesthetic, subjective sports like artistic gymnastics, rhythmic gymnastics, and figure skating. The author uses an example of an artistic gymnast who decided to do ballet to help with her training in gymnastics, ended up at SAB, changed her focus entirely to ballet, but then years later realized gymnastics was more fun and much easier on her body, so she switched back and became an Olympian two years later. The takeaway here was that this gymnast who forced her body to do so much in order to succeed in ballet was able to enjoy her body again once she returned to the gym, because ballet is harder than everything in the world, including the sport often known as the most physically demanding.
First, I have anecdotal issues with this as a hypothesis. I've done gymnastics and I've done ballet, neither at a high level but enough to be able to talk about what it feels like to do both. I stopped being able to flip at all in my early 20s due to joint pain in my ankles and wrists. I still do trampoline occasionally, but struggle even with this because the most simple skills that require pushing off of your body weight with flexed wrists absolutely destroy my wrist joints and I end up in pain for days. Meanwhile, I started ballet at 32 and three years later, my instructor told me my ankles were strong enough for pointe, so I went en pointe for the first time at 35 (and overweight, double the weight of most ballerinas when they first try pointe as pre-teens or children) and have never once experienced actual pain, even after dancing for hours at a time during an adult intensive program. Mild discomfort, yes, and occasionally my big toe goes numb, but I find it hard to believe that a gymnast capable of landing double backs on floor couldn't handle the sensations of being en pointe even after years of doing it. I could barely tolerate landing a single salto at my fittest! Pain exists differently for everyone, and there is so much more physical pain in ballet beyond the experience of dancing en pointe, but gymnasts are pros at training and competing with near-constant pain so it doesn't make sense that a gymnast with a likely history of broken bones and torn ligaments (at the bare minimum) couldn't handle pointe shoes without constantly wincing, as the author described. Both sports are incredibly physically demanding, so it's not even really fair to suggest that one is harder than the other, but also...gymnastics is harder. There's a reason roughly 60 gymnasts each year in the U.S. are training at the highest levels of the sport while somewhere around 100,000 dancers each year are training at the highest levels of ballet. Using the story of one person who found elite gymnastics "easy" in comparison is not enough evidence to make the weird, unnecessary insinuation that ballet is more extreme.
Second...I don't believe this person exists or that this story is real. The author claims that this person is a composite, with details changed to keep them anonymous. That's fine. But the story is that this person went to SAB for six years, was good enough to be on track for an apprenticeship with NYCB, quit, went back to gymnastics, trained for two years, and made it to the Olympics. This is just simply not true of any Olympic, national team, or elite-level gymnast who has ever existed in or outside of the U.S., whether they were at SAB/NYCB or an entirely different ballet program. The author either changed the level of gymnastics at which this person competed to make it MUCH higher than they actually were, OR changed the sport entirely, both of which are problematic and are not at all ethical in terms of how she uses the story as evidence to support her claims. If she changed the source's level, then yes, of course a gymnast who trains recreationally or in the developmental levels would go into elite levels of ballet and find it much more difficult than their lower-stakes gymnastics training, and if she changed the source's sport entirely, then it's not really fair to make comparisons between ballet and gymnastics at all, is it?
The core reason I was SO angry about this author altering the facts of this story beyond recognition is that gymnastics, much like ballet, has been a breeding ground for issues like abuse and eating disorders for decades, with athletes putting aside any sense of autonomy in order to please coaches and judges. Over the past seven years, we've seen thousands of survivors come forward about the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse they endured at every level of the sport from rec gym to the Olympic team, and the author using one singular made-up story to "prove" ballet is "worse" is offensive, irresponsible, and disrespectful to the athletes who have come forward about how this sport has truly ruined their lives – and not just because they weren't good enough to continue past the age of 12. Even more outrageous than the general claim is that the author tells us her SAB friend moved to Michigan in 2010 to train for the London Games. The one national team-level gym in Michigan at the time was Twistars, where Larry Nassar committed hundreds, if not thousands, of crimes against children, and where coach/owner John Geddert both enabled him and abused athletes in his own way. This place and time is probably the most hellish period in the entire history of U.S. gymnastics, so it made my skin crawl to read about this "composite character" leaving SAB/NYCB to do elite-level gymnastics in Michigan and how this was life-changing for her body, mind, and spirit. I'm going to be fair and guess that with sport/location/timeline details changed, the author's choice of gymnastics in Michigan circa 2010-2012 is just a horrifying coincidence, but the main issue is that there is a WIDE chasm between changing details to keep a source anonymous and inventing an entire fairy tale to use as your sole source of evidence to make a claim, especially when the claim – that ballet is harder than anything in the world, including the sport many people consider the hardest – isn't at all true, or even a necessary statement. Show us why ballet is hard, not why other hard sports are easier, especially when you don't know the dark history of the sport you're claiming is so fun and whimsical in comparison.
If you want to learn about the toxic culture of ballet and how dancers are starting to fight back, read Chloe Angyal's "Turning Pointe." I'd also suggest any of the memoirs in the reference section of this book, but not this book itself, unless you are really just looking for a summary of the experiences of others with no real insight, solution, or conclusion. This book not really going anywhere or saying anything new was enough to leave me unsatisfied, but when I got to the composite character and their story being falsified to such an extreme in order to fit the author's narrative, I was just bummed. I was initially very excited about this one, and had it on my TBR months before it was released, so it's disappointing to have to leave a review like this, but I really can't think of any real positives here, aside from some of the author's prose. I'll give it two stars instead of one.
Because her experience training at a high level is limited to just a few years (based on the timeline given, it seems SAB dropped her around age 12 and she quit entirely by 15), the self-reflection and personal insight is bare bones, and she only interviews a small handful of her former classmates. These interviews were the most interesting part of the book, but their stories make up just a tiny percentage of the book's content, which is largely just recaps of memoirs from prima ballerinas like Margot Fonteyn, Suzanne Farrell, and Gelsey Kirkland. I guess if I hadn't already read their books or heard their stories it would have been interesting, but instead I felt like I was just being recapped at for a couple hundred pages, especially since there were no real original takeaways from these stories, making it a whole lot of filler and not much of anything else.
That's probably my biggest problem. The author will make a vague claim about ballet culture that is so stereotypical, people who have never stepped foot in a studio would be like, yes, and? Like, ballet moms are intense! Ballerinas are masochists who dance on broken bones! Ballet is competitive and women must be passive creatures who submit and bend to the will of men! After being given the theme of whatever gripe the author is trying to come to terms with personally, we'll get five or so pages of recaps from these memoirs of dancers who were at their prime in the 60s and 70s, maybe an anecdote from one of her own ballet friends, a flimsy paragraph that generalizes these experiences for all ballerinas who have ever existed, and that's all. There's no deeper dive into why the culture is the way it is, aside from kind of just blaming Balanchine or all men in general, because women in ballet exist solely to be manipulated by men and cannot speak, think, or exist in any other way.
This is essentially the conclusion to every chapter or hypothesis, and to the book itself, which I guess is fine even though it's something we've seen discussed for close to 50 years, but the author doesn't go any further than that, and also doesn't include any more recent evidence that suggests things are starting to move in a new direction, especially as women over the past decade or so have been slowly but surely taking steps to change things. I'm not arguing that ballet culture ISN'T as she describes, and even despite recent developments, I'm 100% positive that women are still terrified to speak up about what they endure lest it cost them a spot in the company they spent years training for, but to write a book in 2023 and only include examples of ballet culture from 2004 and earlier is not something a College Writing 101 professor would allow, so it's wild that editors let it fly.
Where substance is lacking, the author's chip on her shoulder absolutely is not, so when she does occasionally insert her own experiences – which is again minimal due to her short time training at a high level – it just comes off as whiny in the sense that every problem in her life stems from her being rejected by SAB at 12. Like, it's sad that she didn't make it further after putting in the hard work solely because her body wasn't ideal for the kind of archaic requirements SAB has, but if you're letting your experiences as a tween define your entire life post-ballet, I don't know what else to say aside from see a therapist? We are mostly a world of broken people traumatized by our childhoods whether we did high-level ballet or not, and this special snowflake "only ballerinas understand [insert very common feeling]" is just bizarre. Sure, most people don't know the specific pains that can come with dancing on pointe or how it feels to come close to landing a spot in a ballet company only to get rejected or injured at the last minute, but everyone knows pain and rejection and heartbreak, and there are about a million life experiences much more traumatic than SAB dropping you at 12. Again, I get it, it sucks to spend the bulk of your time training to do something only to be turned away in her case, and it sucks even more to have your career ended by injury, or to have been a victim of a culture where abuse, eating disorders, and other horrors run rampant. But at the same time, training at this level is a privilege, as it's incredibly expensive and reserved mainly for the wealthy, and no one is forcing you to do it (unless you have an Intense Ballet Mom, I suppose, in which case your problems run much deeper than ballet culture), so if you hate how it makes you feel about yourself, your body, your mental health...quit? I get it, it's not easy, but as someone who had to leave behind something that was once my entire life because I knew it was best for me at that time, I don't relate at all to someone who does nothing but complain about their circumstances while refusing to change them and instead is like...bragging about their suffering? In this sense, I found the author just kind of disconnected from reality and lacking perspective. Yes, ballet is very hard. No, it is not the most difficult thing anyone has ever done in the history of humanity.
That brings me to my next point. One chapter of the book focuses the body image issues and eating disorders that stem from ballet culture, and the extremes ballerinas go to in order to maintain the ideal "ballet body." The argument here is that no other sport or activity is as demanding on the body as ballet, but while the level of thinness expected in ballet is pretty unique to this world, many other sports require impossibly high physical expectations and standards, especially aesthetic, subjective sports like artistic gymnastics, rhythmic gymnastics, and figure skating. The author uses an example of an artistic gymnast who decided to do ballet to help with her training in gymnastics, ended up at SAB, changed her focus entirely to ballet, but then years later realized gymnastics was more fun and much easier on her body, so she switched back and became an Olympian two years later. The takeaway here was that this gymnast who forced her body to do so much in order to succeed in ballet was able to enjoy her body again once she returned to the gym, because ballet is harder than everything in the world, including the sport often known as the most physically demanding.
First, I have anecdotal issues with this as a hypothesis. I've done gymnastics and I've done ballet, neither at a high level but enough to be able to talk about what it feels like to do both. I stopped being able to flip at all in my early 20s due to joint pain in my ankles and wrists. I still do trampoline occasionally, but struggle even with this because the most simple skills that require pushing off of your body weight with flexed wrists absolutely destroy my wrist joints and I end up in pain for days. Meanwhile, I started ballet at 32 and three years later, my instructor told me my ankles were strong enough for pointe, so I went en pointe for the first time at 35 (and overweight, double the weight of most ballerinas when they first try pointe as pre-teens or children) and have never once experienced actual pain, even after dancing for hours at a time during an adult intensive program. Mild discomfort, yes, and occasionally my big toe goes numb, but I find it hard to believe that a gymnast capable of landing double backs on floor couldn't handle the sensations of being en pointe even after years of doing it. I could barely tolerate landing a single salto at my fittest! Pain exists differently for everyone, and there is so much more physical pain in ballet beyond the experience of dancing en pointe, but gymnasts are pros at training and competing with near-constant pain so it doesn't make sense that a gymnast with a likely history of broken bones and torn ligaments (at the bare minimum) couldn't handle pointe shoes without constantly wincing, as the author described. Both sports are incredibly physically demanding, so it's not even really fair to suggest that one is harder than the other, but also...gymnastics is harder. There's a reason roughly 60 gymnasts each year in the U.S. are training at the highest levels of the sport while somewhere around 100,000 dancers each year are training at the highest levels of ballet. Using the story of one person who found elite gymnastics "easy" in comparison is not enough evidence to make the weird, unnecessary insinuation that ballet is more extreme.
Second...I don't believe this person exists or that this story is real. The author claims that this person is a composite, with details changed to keep them anonymous. That's fine. But the story is that this person went to SAB for six years, was good enough to be on track for an apprenticeship with NYCB, quit, went back to gymnastics, trained for two years, and made it to the Olympics. This is just simply not true of any Olympic, national team, or elite-level gymnast who has ever existed in or outside of the U.S., whether they were at SAB/NYCB or an entirely different ballet program. The author either changed the level of gymnastics at which this person competed to make it MUCH higher than they actually were, OR changed the sport entirely, both of which are problematic and are not at all ethical in terms of how she uses the story as evidence to support her claims. If she changed the source's level, then yes, of course a gymnast who trains recreationally or in the developmental levels would go into elite levels of ballet and find it much more difficult than their lower-stakes gymnastics training, and if she changed the source's sport entirely, then it's not really fair to make comparisons between ballet and gymnastics at all, is it?
The core reason I was SO angry about this author altering the facts of this story beyond recognition is that gymnastics, much like ballet, has been a breeding ground for issues like abuse and eating disorders for decades, with athletes putting aside any sense of autonomy in order to please coaches and judges. Over the past seven years, we've seen thousands of survivors come forward about the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse they endured at every level of the sport from rec gym to the Olympic team, and the author using one singular made-up story to "prove" ballet is "worse" is offensive, irresponsible, and disrespectful to the athletes who have come forward about how this sport has truly ruined their lives – and not just because they weren't good enough to continue past the age of 12. Even more outrageous than the general claim is that the author tells us her SAB friend moved to Michigan in 2010 to train for the London Games. The one national team-level gym in Michigan at the time was Twistars, where Larry Nassar committed hundreds, if not thousands, of crimes against children, and where coach/owner John Geddert both enabled him and abused athletes in his own way. This place and time is probably the most hellish period in the entire history of U.S. gymnastics, so it made my skin crawl to read about this "composite character" leaving SAB/NYCB to do elite-level gymnastics in Michigan and how this was life-changing for her body, mind, and spirit. I'm going to be fair and guess that with sport/location/timeline details changed, the author's choice of gymnastics in Michigan circa 2010-2012 is just a horrifying coincidence, but the main issue is that there is a WIDE chasm between changing details to keep a source anonymous and inventing an entire fairy tale to use as your sole source of evidence to make a claim, especially when the claim – that ballet is harder than anything in the world, including the sport many people consider the hardest – isn't at all true, or even a necessary statement. Show us why ballet is hard, not why other hard sports are easier, especially when you don't know the dark history of the sport you're claiming is so fun and whimsical in comparison.
If you want to learn about the toxic culture of ballet and how dancers are starting to fight back, read Chloe Angyal's "Turning Pointe." I'd also suggest any of the memoirs in the reference section of this book, but not this book itself, unless you are really just looking for a summary of the experiences of others with no real insight, solution, or conclusion. This book not really going anywhere or saying anything new was enough to leave me unsatisfied, but when I got to the composite character and their story being falsified to such an extreme in order to fit the author's narrative, I was just bummed. I was initially very excited about this one, and had it on my TBR months before it was released, so it's disappointing to have to leave a review like this, but I really can't think of any real positives here, aside from some of the author's prose. I'll give it two stars instead of one.
March 16, 2023
I thought this was going to be a memoir on life in ballet and how difficult it is to make it and eventually give up your dream and leave. Instead, the part I got through, which admittedly wasn't much, was just a regurgitation of other dancers' thoughts and experiences in ballet. And this, to me, wasn't interesting. I struggled to get through it and inevitably just gave up. Her experiences might be later in the book but I couldn't make it there.
I received a copy from #NetGalley for an honest review.
I received a copy from #NetGalley for an honest review.
October 26, 2022
very validating for my younger self.
please read with caution; this contains a lot of talk around
please read with caution; this contains a lot of talk around
April 7, 2023
6 stars for me personally. This book is a must for ballet dancers past and present, dance teachers and dance moms. This really rang so many truths and caused me so many feelings and flashbacks. It is profound in explaining my connection to ballet. Well researched and many historical names and facts that shaped ballet into what it is today. Read this book, ballet friends!
October 8, 2022
This book seemed right up my alley-- a memoir about training at New York City Ballet through the stories of a dancer and her classmates? Yes PLEASE. And while about a third of the book does take us into the world of the School of American Ballet, the rest of it is primarily comprised of short bits of research about famous dancers, eating disorders, control, and femininity. All of which certainly is related to the larger story of "loving and leaving ballet," but just felt kind of jumbled and haphazardly inserted. If you're looking for a memoir, this isn't the book for you. If you're more interested in connecting the ballet world to larger trends of feminism, you might find something, but there's a lot to trudge through to get there, and it doesn't delve nearly as deep as a more profound book would.
March 16, 2023
i thought it was a memoir. 80% of it felt like a research paper
April 20, 2024
a brilliant and luminous read, by a dancer, about dancers, but not only for dancers; this is a book I want all my friends to read so that they can maybe begin to understand the cruel beauty of ballet, the exhausting and all-consuming nature it can have, the physical and psychological effects that tend to linger for a lifetime, and why despite all this we still love it anyway.
this book is eye-opening and well0researched, the writing style is a joy to read and I truly felt seen in the depictions of current and ex-dancers. there are many potentially triggering and nuanced issues in this book, which are all handled with such tact. I recommend this book profusely.
this book is eye-opening and well0researched, the writing style is a joy to read and I truly felt seen in the depictions of current and ex-dancers. there are many potentially triggering and nuanced issues in this book, which are all handled with such tact. I recommend this book profusely.
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January 7, 2024This was a very well written memoir. I am not able to give it a rating.
Reason being, I was involved with the dance world when I was younger. It brought back some memories that need to be worked through.
Reason being, I was involved with the dance world when I was younger. It brought back some memories that need to be worked through.
September 11, 2022
This part-memoir, part-historical account of ballet by Alice Robb was like a balm to my soul. As a "retired" ballet dancer myself, I found myself relating to much of what Robb wrote about - the joys and pains of being a dancer, the perfectionism, and the regrets of giving it up. I would have liked to read more about Robb's experiences as a dancer and less about social commentary on feminism and womanhood, which seemed to detract from the story at times. Overall, I greatly enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone with a background in dance or who admires ballet.
March 4, 2023
Rambling mess. And she only presents one side to the world of ballet. No interviews with those that achieved success in ballet. What did they go through as they worked through the ranks, are they happy as a successful dancer. So much unexplored information. This was written from the perspective of someone who is bitter and still unhappy and what, ballet training as ruined everyone’s life!
February 24, 2023
I’ve always enjoyed ballet, from my childhood days wistfully watching the students at a local dance studio perform on stage at town festivals, to doing some “faux ballet” moves at recess (once a teacher asked if I was in dance. I felt so complimented!). Then, when my girls were little, I had them in ballet and for several years I played for classes at our local ballet studio. It was all so pretty and interesting — watching the girls learn their steps, learning a bit of French along the way (most ballet terminology is French), learning which type of music went with which practice exercise, etc. And every year, even though the girls are grown up, I treat myself to attending the local ballet performance of Nutcracker — other performances too throughout the year, if they interest me.
So when I read a little blurb about “Don’t Think, Dear — On Loving and Leaving Ballet” in Dance magazine, I checked to see if it might be available to review at NetGalley. It was, and I dug in.
Author Alice Robb attended the prestigious School of American Ballet for several years until she was dismissed at age 14. Alice loved ballet as a girl, “the hyperfeminine trappings of it all, the unapologetic girlishness.” Ballet became a huge part of her life, as she spent hours in classes and performing. When she realized, as a young teen, that she wasn’t being cast for roles she wanted, and was then dismissed from the school, she went through a loss of identity and a period of grieving for what had been a huge part of her life. In this book, she tells a bit about her experience. But most of the book focuses on experiences of her ballet friends, as well as experiences of famous ballerinas as learned through their books.
I enjoyed the peeks inside the world of ballet, and it’s a world that, as you might expect, is pretty extreme in its expectations. “The traits ballet takes to an extreme — the beauty, the thinness, the stoicism and silence and submission — are valued in girls and women everywhere.”
As you might guess from that last quote, the book does dive into the woke, feminist mindset so prevalent among those Robb’s age (she’s in her early 30s). We hear a lot about #metoo and how NYCB founder Balanchine and NYCB choreographer Peter Martins were abusive to dancers. Balanchine claimed to choose dancers “as you would choose horses.” The book’s title comes from a Balanchine quote to a dancer: “Don’t think, dear. Just do.” As the years go on, Robb feels “guilty about harboring affection for a system that clearly harmed women.” She is thrilled to attend a ballet and see a “gender nonconforming” dancer “(who uses they/them pronouns)” in a female role. She is ecstatic when, during covid, she sees dancers performing in masks.
So here’s the thing about where woke meets ballet, to me: yes, I understand that ballet has high standards, both of physical appearance and of performance level. Most of us can never aspire to either. But, the few who can sure are gorgeous to watch. Do I want to watch people who are overweight or even average weight performing Swan Lake? Uh, no. Ditto do I want to watch people of lesser ability? Not really (unless it’s my own kid). I went to ballets during covid and sadly I wasn’t similarly thrilled with dancers wearing masks. It took me out of the moment as I meditated on how ridiculous it looked, and how useless it was too (the masks did nothing to protect the audience, and didn’t the dancers spend time in close contact with each other daily? What’s the point other than virtue signaling?).
Anyway, back to the book. I enjoyed the overall theme, but have to dock it for the “woke” as well as for the lengthy portions which read as book reviews on other dancers the author read about. It seems she did a bunch of research and wanted to include it all. A good editor probably could help here (and since I read this on NetGalley, this may still happen before the book is published).
So when I read a little blurb about “Don’t Think, Dear — On Loving and Leaving Ballet” in Dance magazine, I checked to see if it might be available to review at NetGalley. It was, and I dug in.
Author Alice Robb attended the prestigious School of American Ballet for several years until she was dismissed at age 14. Alice loved ballet as a girl, “the hyperfeminine trappings of it all, the unapologetic girlishness.” Ballet became a huge part of her life, as she spent hours in classes and performing. When she realized, as a young teen, that she wasn’t being cast for roles she wanted, and was then dismissed from the school, she went through a loss of identity and a period of grieving for what had been a huge part of her life. In this book, she tells a bit about her experience. But most of the book focuses on experiences of her ballet friends, as well as experiences of famous ballerinas as learned through their books.
I enjoyed the peeks inside the world of ballet, and it’s a world that, as you might expect, is pretty extreme in its expectations. “The traits ballet takes to an extreme — the beauty, the thinness, the stoicism and silence and submission — are valued in girls and women everywhere.”
As you might guess from that last quote, the book does dive into the woke, feminist mindset so prevalent among those Robb’s age (she’s in her early 30s). We hear a lot about #metoo and how NYCB founder Balanchine and NYCB choreographer Peter Martins were abusive to dancers. Balanchine claimed to choose dancers “as you would choose horses.” The book’s title comes from a Balanchine quote to a dancer: “Don’t think, dear. Just do.” As the years go on, Robb feels “guilty about harboring affection for a system that clearly harmed women.” She is thrilled to attend a ballet and see a “gender nonconforming” dancer “(who uses they/them pronouns)” in a female role. She is ecstatic when, during covid, she sees dancers performing in masks.
So here’s the thing about where woke meets ballet, to me: yes, I understand that ballet has high standards, both of physical appearance and of performance level. Most of us can never aspire to either. But, the few who can sure are gorgeous to watch. Do I want to watch people who are overweight or even average weight performing Swan Lake? Uh, no. Ditto do I want to watch people of lesser ability? Not really (unless it’s my own kid). I went to ballets during covid and sadly I wasn’t similarly thrilled with dancers wearing masks. It took me out of the moment as I meditated on how ridiculous it looked, and how useless it was too (the masks did nothing to protect the audience, and didn’t the dancers spend time in close contact with each other daily? What’s the point other than virtue signaling?).
Anyway, back to the book. I enjoyed the overall theme, but have to dock it for the “woke” as well as for the lengthy portions which read as book reviews on other dancers the author read about. It seems she did a bunch of research and wanted to include it all. A good editor probably could help here (and since I read this on NetGalley, this may still happen before the book is published).
February 25, 2023
Pub date: 2/28/23
Genre: nonfiction, memoir, dance
Quick summary: Alice Robb didn't end up becoming a professional ballerina - but her training at the School of the American Ballet still changed her and her classmates' lives.
"Don't think, dear" is advice author Alice Robb got from her ballet teacher, and it sums up the ballet world quite well. Robb uses her own experiences, those of her classmates, and those of other public ballet figures to tell the story of this rigorous, pressure-filled world. Despite hard work, something as simple as the wrong body type can derail a once-promising young ballerina, like Alice's friend Emily. Those who do succeed will find themselves fighting through constant injury, like her friend Lily. The single-mindedness of the ballet world is almost impossible to contemplate as an outsider.
I enjoyed this book overall, but the sections felt a bit lengthy because Robb had so much material to cover. I think the first-hand stories were stronger than the material incorporated from the broader ballet world.
Thank you to Mariner Books for providing an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Genre: nonfiction, memoir, dance
Quick summary: Alice Robb didn't end up becoming a professional ballerina - but her training at the School of the American Ballet still changed her and her classmates' lives.
"Don't think, dear" is advice author Alice Robb got from her ballet teacher, and it sums up the ballet world quite well. Robb uses her own experiences, those of her classmates, and those of other public ballet figures to tell the story of this rigorous, pressure-filled world. Despite hard work, something as simple as the wrong body type can derail a once-promising young ballerina, like Alice's friend Emily. Those who do succeed will find themselves fighting through constant injury, like her friend Lily. The single-mindedness of the ballet world is almost impossible to contemplate as an outsider.
I enjoyed this book overall, but the sections felt a bit lengthy because Robb had so much material to cover. I think the first-hand stories were stronger than the material incorporated from the broader ballet world.
Thank you to Mariner Books for providing an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.
April 2, 2024
I picked up this book a little reluctantly because I'm not a huge fan of non fiction but it actually turned out to he quite interesting! The topic interested me which helped significantly. I related to a lot of the topics in the book but I also found out about a side of ballet I had never experienced. I love how poetic Alice was able to make the book sound and especially loved the ending!
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July 17, 2024This incredibly written book invites us to think deeply about the complexities and moral ambiguities of ballet. Ballet is an esteemed art form, and holds prominent role in high culture. Beyond that, the influence of ballet permeates popular culture and regular life, from fashion inspired by tulle and leotards, seasonal performances of The Nutcracker, the omnipresence of ballet in films and music videos, and as aspirational content sold to young girls through packaging such as doll toys. The allure of ballet captivates even the general public. Yet there is a dark side to ballet that the author, Alice Robb tries to discuss by taking the curtain off the backstage. In particular, an argument can be made that, at least sometimes, ballet is harmful to young women.
Since ballet requires rigorous training and discipline of the body, it requires the young ballet dancer to sublimate their will-- and their wellbeing-- for the sake of the art form and that oftentimes means for the sake of the whims of the choreographer or director. These legendary directors or leaders of ballet companies are almost exclusively male, and have ferocious will. Thus, the women dancers are often trained to unquestioning obedience, to accept a culture of timidity and silence and deference, to passively accept orders from the choreographer. This looming influence of the male director is often invasive. For example, the famous icon George Balanchine rewarded as principal dancers, young women who endured his advances or became his mistresses or wives, even though their age gaps span several decades. Some male directors even know and discourage their external lives, such as their dating, 'risking' of pregnancy, and the distraction of relationships. Women are conditioned to accept that the art form only allows for a chosen few, and thus their lives must revolve around it. Extreme dieting, anorexia, and body dysmorphia is ok. Sexual harassment from famous male directors was rampant. Ballet, or at least the modern iteration of it, wears the female body out fast. The average career of a ballerina, the book says, tapers out by age of 29.
Furthermore, the power dynamic in ballet suffers imbalance along gender lines as the leading, choreographing positions are often taken by men. They direct, compose, create. The women perform or are in the ensemble.
However, at the same time the book also cautions against simplistic dismissal of ballet as a terrible or outdated phenomenon. The people who dance ballet find it life-affirming. Whether their passion for ballet can be argued to be internally or externally driven, self-directed or externally controlled, they genuinely cannot imagine life without ballet. A lot of them who were interviewed in this book are even ok with the cultural norms of ballet. Instead of seeing themselves as being, say, 'oppressed' by the dieting conditions ballet requires, or by the 'patronage' system ballet historically had run on, they see themselves as independent, self-directing their own destiny toward ballet as the peak of their own ambitions. Thus, it's hard and fuzzy to determine whether ballet resembles more characteristics of a cult or of an extreme sport, in its requirement of total sublimation of the will.
One thing is for sure, #MeToo has come for ballet. Powerful directors who do sexual harassment as form of control have been exposed. Ballet as an art form that is cordoned with velvet ropes along lines of ethnicity or class, is now (slowly) changing and opening. These are all unequivocally good developments in ballet. I highly recommend this very interesting and eyeopening book.
Since ballet requires rigorous training and discipline of the body, it requires the young ballet dancer to sublimate their will-- and their wellbeing-- for the sake of the art form and that oftentimes means for the sake of the whims of the choreographer or director. These legendary directors or leaders of ballet companies are almost exclusively male, and have ferocious will. Thus, the women dancers are often trained to unquestioning obedience, to accept a culture of timidity and silence and deference, to passively accept orders from the choreographer. This looming influence of the male director is often invasive. For example, the famous icon George Balanchine rewarded as principal dancers, young women who endured his advances or became his mistresses or wives, even though their age gaps span several decades. Some male directors even know and discourage their external lives, such as their dating, 'risking' of pregnancy, and the distraction of relationships. Women are conditioned to accept that the art form only allows for a chosen few, and thus their lives must revolve around it. Extreme dieting, anorexia, and body dysmorphia is ok. Sexual harassment from famous male directors was rampant. Ballet, or at least the modern iteration of it, wears the female body out fast. The average career of a ballerina, the book says, tapers out by age of 29.
Furthermore, the power dynamic in ballet suffers imbalance along gender lines as the leading, choreographing positions are often taken by men. They direct, compose, create. The women perform or are in the ensemble.
However, at the same time the book also cautions against simplistic dismissal of ballet as a terrible or outdated phenomenon. The people who dance ballet find it life-affirming. Whether their passion for ballet can be argued to be internally or externally driven, self-directed or externally controlled, they genuinely cannot imagine life without ballet. A lot of them who were interviewed in this book are even ok with the cultural norms of ballet. Instead of seeing themselves as being, say, 'oppressed' by the dieting conditions ballet requires, or by the 'patronage' system ballet historically had run on, they see themselves as independent, self-directing their own destiny toward ballet as the peak of their own ambitions. Thus, it's hard and fuzzy to determine whether ballet resembles more characteristics of a cult or of an extreme sport, in its requirement of total sublimation of the will.
One thing is for sure, #MeToo has come for ballet. Powerful directors who do sexual harassment as form of control have been exposed. Ballet as an art form that is cordoned with velvet ropes along lines of ethnicity or class, is now (slowly) changing and opening. These are all unequivocally good developments in ballet. I highly recommend this very interesting and eyeopening book.
March 11, 2023
A delightfully honest and entertaining peek behind the literal and figurative curtain, and a must read if you love ballet.
I came into this thinking it was going to be a Memoir, and I was pleasantly surprised that the book doesn’t quite fit that description. Robb, who spent time at SAB and was a gifted young dancer, shares plenty of her background and experience in the world of dance, but the book is primarily a broader look at what it’s like to be a serious ballerina, with all the joys and sorrows that come with that.
Robb has a wonderful writing style that is both approachably conversational and deeply well informed, and I really appreciated the balance she struck between being honest about the value system of the industry while acknowledging its problems. It feels sympathetic without being, for lack of a better way of putting it, hysterically politically correct in order to pacify zeitgeist-y outcry.
If you’re familiar with the ballet world, you’ll hear some familiar stories and the history of some very famous names, but there’s lots here that was new to me even as a ballet enthusiast. And if you’re new to the topic, this is an approachable and informative primer.
This is eminently readable and well-paced nonfiction, never dry or dull, and I loved this frank but loving look into the world of ballet.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
I came into this thinking it was going to be a Memoir, and I was pleasantly surprised that the book doesn’t quite fit that description. Robb, who spent time at SAB and was a gifted young dancer, shares plenty of her background and experience in the world of dance, but the book is primarily a broader look at what it’s like to be a serious ballerina, with all the joys and sorrows that come with that.
Robb has a wonderful writing style that is both approachably conversational and deeply well informed, and I really appreciated the balance she struck between being honest about the value system of the industry while acknowledging its problems. It feels sympathetic without being, for lack of a better way of putting it, hysterically politically correct in order to pacify zeitgeist-y outcry.
If you’re familiar with the ballet world, you’ll hear some familiar stories and the history of some very famous names, but there’s lots here that was new to me even as a ballet enthusiast. And if you’re new to the topic, this is an approachable and informative primer.
This is eminently readable and well-paced nonfiction, never dry or dull, and I loved this frank but loving look into the world of ballet.
*I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.*
November 25, 2023
My only “complaint” about this book is that I was expecting more of this book to be about Alice Robb’s personal journey in ballet, at SAB, leaving ballet, and figuring out what she wanted to do post-ballet (and unpacking all the ways that ballet changed and traumatized her). She wrote about all those things but I feel like I know more about Meiying, Lily, and her other former classmates’ journeys in and after ballet rather than hers. I think the most she wrote in one go about her personal journey after ballet was in…the final chapter. And I say it’s a “complaint” because the book was still quite good, but seeing it described as a memoir, I went into it expecting more about Alice’s own life.
I really liked the way Alice Robb flowed between writing about her own and her classmates anecdotes of training at the SAB, about iconic ballerinas past and present like Farrell, Fonteyn, Kirkland, Copeland etc, talking about research that’s been done directly about and relating to ballet, and the larger issues within ballet like body shaming, issues with injuries, abuse, and how those things that are part of the toxic ballet culture can continue to affect a dancer even when it’s been years since they left ballet.
I really liked the way Alice Robb flowed between writing about her own and her classmates anecdotes of training at the SAB, about iconic ballerinas past and present like Farrell, Fonteyn, Kirkland, Copeland etc, talking about research that’s been done directly about and relating to ballet, and the larger issues within ballet like body shaming, issues with injuries, abuse, and how those things that are part of the toxic ballet culture can continue to affect a dancer even when it’s been years since they left ballet.
March 6, 2024
I know absolutely nothing about ballet except I once went to my cousin's ballet recital in 2016. However, I have always admired ballet, so I somehow stumbled upon this book. It was very interesting and very heartbreaking at times, and I definitely enjoyed it. My one minor complaint is that it was not a very linear story--I have seen reviews saying that it is a collection of essays, so that would make sense. That in itself was not the problem; it was merely hard to follow the stories of the different women she featured.
Definitely an educational read. The ballet world is so beautiful but also so very costly for the dancers themselves. I would recommend.
Definitely an educational read. The ballet world is so beautiful but also so very costly for the dancers themselves. I would recommend.
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July 10, 2024i am very glad this book exists!
unfortunately, embarrassingly, alice robb got my number here:
“sometimes, when i’m in an open class, I catch myself daydreaming that the teacher stops me on the way out to ask me who I am, what’s my story, how did someone with so much talent end up here?”
unfortunately, embarrassingly, alice robb got my number here:
“sometimes, when i’m in an open class, I catch myself daydreaming that the teacher stops me on the way out to ask me who I am, what’s my story, how did someone with so much talent end up here?”
March 15, 2024
3.6/5 ⭐️
It felt as if someone finally understood all of my hidden thoughts. As someone who danced for 15 years it was hard to see the darker parts of ballet that I already know so well but felt so seen in reading these words. The book was hard to read at times but ended in a very real and authentic way. Very thankful for Alice Robb and for sharing her words. 💕🩰
It felt as if someone finally understood all of my hidden thoughts. As someone who danced for 15 years it was hard to see the darker parts of ballet that I already know so well but felt so seen in reading these words. The book was hard to read at times but ended in a very real and authentic way. Very thankful for Alice Robb and for sharing her words. 💕🩰
March 4, 2023
I generally like books about ballet, but this feels one note. I appreciate the research, and the memory pieces. However the two don't work well together. I'd appreciate more clarity between what kind of a book this is / is mean to be. I DNFd at 99 pages of 239.
impactful quote:
...it was impossible to worry about my performance on the next day's math test or my position in the middle school hierarchy while I listened to the music and thought about the placement of my hands and my arms and all ten of my toes.
impactful quote:
...it was impossible to worry about my performance on the next day's math test or my position in the middle school hierarchy while I listened to the music and thought about the placement of my hands and my arms and all ten of my toes.
November 19, 2023
I enjoyed this memoir about one dancer's decision to leave ballet and the wider ballet culture that contributed to that decision. Part her own story, part a take-down of the wild abuse within ballet, (but written with a true love for the art form and those in it), Robb's memoir is a carefully thought-out manifesto. It's a great read for those who live in the ballet world already and also those (like me) who are just fascinated by this beautiful and sadistic art form from a safe distance.
One of the things I most enjoyed about it was Robb's way of tracing the history of ballet through some of its most famous dancers, especially those who were abused by their very famous choreographers. Written with a tone of adoration, this was a great read for anyone interested in understanding ballet while watching from the wings.
One of the things I most enjoyed about it was Robb's way of tracing the history of ballet through some of its most famous dancers, especially those who were abused by their very famous choreographers. Written with a tone of adoration, this was a great read for anyone interested in understanding ballet while watching from the wings.
February 26, 2023
Alice Robb has written a book that digs right to the heart of the contradictions that are tangled through the world of ballet. As an ex-ballet dancer myself, Don't Think Dear is hugely relatable and at times becomes a kind of therapy - she grapples with questions of identity, body image, control, and how to say goodbye to ballet when one's whole sense of self is wrapped up in being a ballet dancer. An honest and powerful examination of this painful, beautiful art form.
November 8, 2023
Haunting, introspective, borderline addictive. I found myself in a trance as the chapters carried on. A true artist will go to any lengths for her craft. I’m left with a feeling of quiet, sympathetic admiration
January 28, 2024
exactly how it is.
January 30, 2024
Ballet is a hard work.
April 22, 2023
Who knew a love letter could cause such controversy. Alice Robb goes through her experience as a student at the world renowned ballet school: School of American Ballet. Although let go as a student at a young age, she follows up on her classmates journeys as they have aged without ballet in their lives.
Robb's book talks about the love of dance and heartbreak of leaving. She speaks of controversies ballerinas (that made it) put up with for the love of the craft.
Ballet is beautiful AND it is hard. A unique career path for those who can make it their profession, and a unique schooling path for those who ALMOST made it.
If you see the problems she's talking about, you are admitting they are problems, at no point does she sway you to believe they are. She's just stating facts @ john clifford.
This week is my last week as a full time dancer. So close to making it and yet it wasn't in the cards, this book was like a hug and a lecture in one.
Much love, Ms. Robb, thank you.
Robb's book talks about the love of dance and heartbreak of leaving. She speaks of controversies ballerinas (that made it) put up with for the love of the craft.
Ballet is beautiful AND it is hard. A unique career path for those who can make it their profession, and a unique schooling path for those who ALMOST made it.
If you see the problems she's talking about, you are admitting they are problems, at no point does she sway you to believe they are. She's just stating facts @ john clifford.
This week is my last week as a full time dancer. So close to making it and yet it wasn't in the cards, this book was like a hug and a lecture in one.
Much love, Ms. Robb, thank you.
May 18, 2023
a tiny bit redundant but compelling and relatable nonetheless
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