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If Tomorrow Doesn't Come
We Are Okay meets They Both Die at the End in this YA debut about queer first love and mental health at the end of the world-and the importance of saving yourself, no matter what tomorrow may hold.
Avery Byrne has secrets. She's queer; she's in love with her best friend, Cass; and she's suffering from undiagnosed clinical depression. But on the morning Avery plans to jump into the river near her college campus, the world discovers there are only nine days left to an asteroid is headed for Earth, and no one can stop it.
Trying to spare her family and Cass additional pain, Avery does her best to make it through just nine more days. As time runs out and secrets slowly come to light, Avery would do anything to save the ones she loves. But most importantly, she learns to save herself. Speak her truth. Seek the support she needs. Find hope again in the tomorrows she has left.
If Tomorrow Doesn't Come is a celebration of queer love, a gripping speculative narrative, and an urgent, conversation-starting book about depression, mental health, and shame.
Avery Byrne has secrets. She's queer; she's in love with her best friend, Cass; and she's suffering from undiagnosed clinical depression. But on the morning Avery plans to jump into the river near her college campus, the world discovers there are only nine days left to an asteroid is headed for Earth, and no one can stop it.
Trying to spare her family and Cass additional pain, Avery does her best to make it through just nine more days. As time runs out and secrets slowly come to light, Avery would do anything to save the ones she loves. But most importantly, she learns to save herself. Speak her truth. Seek the support she needs. Find hope again in the tomorrows she has left.
If Tomorrow Doesn't Come is a celebration of queer love, a gripping speculative narrative, and an urgent, conversation-starting book about depression, mental health, and shame.
416 pages, Hardcover
First published May 9, 2023
About the author
Jen St. Jude
1 book273 followersLambda Literary Fellow Jen St. Jude (she/they) grew up in New Hampshire apple orchards and now lives in Chicago with her wife and dog. She has served as an editor for Chicago Review of Books, Just Femme & Dandy, and Arcturus Magazine. When she’s not reading or writing, you can find her cheering on the Chicago Sky and Red Stars. If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is her first novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 992 reviews
July 30, 2023
3,75/5
Read
June 4, 2023Pretty good, tbh.
Read
January 8, 2023There's something dangerous about an author who writes both as compellingly and as devastatingly as St. Jude does, because I kept feeling like I should be taking breaks from this book just to breathe but I absolutely could not put it down, even though I was crying my face off. The comps of We Are Okay and They Both Die At the End are actually good ones, and I don't take issue with them, but above all I think this book is most deeply in conversation with We Are the Ants, and I really hope the latter's tens of thousands of fans find this one as well. (Official blurb TK)
May 18, 2023
This really wasn't that bad a story, and for the most part it was a four star read for me. I loved the complicated family and relationship dynamics and lead up to the day the asteroid was due to hit was tense and emotional. It's just, I've read at least 2 other books with non-endings this year and reading yet another just annoyed me. I need a real ending. I need to know the characters are okay, or if they're not. And if I don't get that I'm just going to keep rating these books lower and lower.
September 8, 2022
A true miracle of a book. I cannot wait for the whole world to read this.
February 1, 2024
Oh my god????!
The gist of this story is that 19-year old Avery Byrne is suffering from extreme depression and has decided to end her life. She's planned everything out, written her letters, and cleaned up (both physically and online). She's about to jump when her phone rings. It's her best friend Cass. And Cass is freaking the hell out because an asteroid bigger than the dinosaur asteroid is coming to Earth in 9 days to obliterate life as you know it.
Therein lies the major theme of the book: why live, why try, why endure it all when Tomorrow might never come?
This premise of having someone's suicide attempt be foiled by literal end-of-the-world pandemonium is so devastatingly beautiful. The apocalypse scramble forces all of the characters to do and admit to the type of secrets they might have hidden their entire lives.
By putting everyone in a situation where tomorrow might not come gives everyone such beautiful character growth, and it is all done so well here. Every person feels feel, their every motive and trial feels so genuine. I could go on about how Avery's experiences with depression made me feel but honestly you would have to experience it for yourself.
I highly recommend this to anyone, I loved the story and was extra grateful for the note that the book leaves off on.
The gist of this story is that 19-year old Avery Byrne is suffering from extreme depression and has decided to end her life. She's planned everything out, written her letters, and cleaned up (both physically and online). She's about to jump when her phone rings. It's her best friend Cass. And Cass is freaking the hell out because an asteroid bigger than the dinosaur asteroid is coming to Earth in 9 days to obliterate life as you know it.
Therein lies the major theme of the book: why live, why try, why endure it all when Tomorrow might never come?
This premise of having someone's suicide attempt be foiled by literal end-of-the-world pandemonium is so devastatingly beautiful. The apocalypse scramble forces all of the characters to do and admit to the type of secrets they might have hidden their entire lives.
By putting everyone in a situation where tomorrow might not come gives everyone such beautiful character growth, and it is all done so well here. Every person feels feel, their every motive and trial feels so genuine. I could go on about how Avery's experiences with depression made me feel but honestly you would have to experience it for yourself.
I highly recommend this to anyone, I loved the story and was extra grateful for the note that the book leaves off on.
June 10, 2023
You know you had an experience when you finish a book and you immediately search for more words, more stories. If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come had my head spinning and my heart wanting.
Avery is on the brink of ending her own life when she gets news from her best friend, Cass, that a catastrophic event is striking the planet. Only days are left for everyone on Earth. The book is split between past and present, smoothly transitioning and building to the inevitable end. Avery is a star in every way in High School but struggles when she reaches college. The author shows the little ways that Avery begins to lose control over her life and how she falls into a tunnel vision where she sees only her failings. Incredibly painful to read but necessary.
When the author switches to the present day telling and bleak countdown, the fight for life and love emerges. Avery and Cass have loved each other their whole lives and it is finally a matter of finding their truth and speaking it. The book focuses on family, friends, and the kindness to open your heart and home when the unthinkable happens. As well as knowing when to lean into the love when you, too, need the light. Heartbreaker of a book.
Avery is on the brink of ending her own life when she gets news from her best friend, Cass, that a catastrophic event is striking the planet. Only days are left for everyone on Earth. The book is split between past and present, smoothly transitioning and building to the inevitable end. Avery is a star in every way in High School but struggles when she reaches college. The author shows the little ways that Avery begins to lose control over her life and how she falls into a tunnel vision where she sees only her failings. Incredibly painful to read but necessary.
When the author switches to the present day telling and bleak countdown, the fight for life and love emerges. Avery and Cass have loved each other their whole lives and it is finally a matter of finding their truth and speaking it. The book focuses on family, friends, and the kindness to open your heart and home when the unthinkable happens. As well as knowing when to lean into the love when you, too, need the light. Heartbreaker of a book.
December 15, 2021
I read an early version of this book and still think about it daily. St. Jude delivers a story layered with hope amid chaos at the end of the world. Can’t wait to read the published version.
February 18, 2023
***4.5
This book goes down as one of the few books that has made emotional enough to cry. “Aren’t we the lucky ones?” I consider myself lucky that I was given the chance to read this early. It was a gem and I will be buying it on release day. It met all my expectations and some.
This book goes down as one of the few books that has made emotional enough to cry. “Aren’t we the lucky ones?” I consider myself lucky that I was given the chance to read this early. It was a gem and I will be buying it on release day. It met all my expectations and some.
August 20, 2023
To chyba najlepsza młodzieżówka jaką przyszło mi czytać w tym roku. Ta książka jest przemyślana w każdym szczególe. Genialnie rozplanowana w swojej składni, przeplata rozdziały z teraz i ze wspomnień Avery, które wprowadzają wielowarstwową głębię do jej postaci. I wreszcie bardzo dobrze, do bólu aż poruszona kwestia depresji samej w sobie. Główna bohaterka cierpi od lat nawet nie zdając sobie z tego sprawy, a w ostatnich dniach przed uderzeniem asteroidy kiedy świat popada w ruinę, świat Avery nareszcie nabiera barw. Osoba autorska świetnie ukazała rozpad społeczeństwa i doprowadzone do granic wytrzymałości jednostki.
Do tego związek Avery i Cass jest niemożliwie aż wzruszający. Razem, ale osobno przez całe życie, aż w obliczu nadchodzącej katastrofy razem do samego końca. Brakuje książek młodzieżowych z tak dobrze poprowadzonym queerowym wątkiem romantycznym.
Do tego związek Avery i Cass jest niemożliwie aż wzruszający. Razem, ale osobno przez całe życie, aż w obliczu nadchodzącej katastrofy razem do samego końca. Brakuje książek młodzieżowych z tak dobrze poprowadzonym queerowym wątkiem romantycznym.
May 31, 2023
“If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come” is a queer YA debut novel by Jen St. Jude.
Avery Byrne is on her way to kill herself when she receives news that there’s an asteroid heading towards earth. This follows Avery on what happens when you find out you and everyone you love has only 9 days left to live.
This was an emotional rollercoaster from beginning to end. Avery has suffered from lifelong depression and is also trying to come to terms with being gay. Her family is a religious Catholic family and she’s grown up hearing that people like her will be going to hell unless they change their ways.
Avery has pretty much given up when we meet her. She’s failing a class at her first year in college, her soccer career has tanked and her best friend Cass, who she also happens to be in love with, hasn’t spoken to her in months. She can’t see a way to make anything better and decides to end it all. However, once she realizes the world as she knows it is about to end, she decides to hold off and spend her remaining days with her loved ones. Rather than piling onto what her family will be going through.
I cannot stress enough how emotional this was. There are a lot of lows because not only is Avery trying to deal with her mental health and thinking everyone would be better off if she were gone; she’s also now trying to be there for her family in preparing for the end. Avery and her family decide to prepare a bunker in case they can survive somehow after the asteroid hits. On the other hand, there are some really lovely highs as well. After reconnecting with Cass, Avery spends her possibly last days finding some joy again. Her growth and finding out she has things to live for was a touching journey.
This is told in a dual timeline. It begins in the present and then goes back in time so you can see what leads her to her suicide attempt. I mention this because I know there are some out there that don’t like this set up.
However, I found it really worked in giving the backstory on Avery and Cass and Avery’s progression with her depression.
I found the ambiguous ending fitting. It was sweet and hopeful and I love St. Jude for leaving it to me to determine what happens.
I received an ARC from Bloomsbury USA Children’s Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Avery Byrne is on her way to kill herself when she receives news that there’s an asteroid heading towards earth. This follows Avery on what happens when you find out you and everyone you love has only 9 days left to live.
This was an emotional rollercoaster from beginning to end. Avery has suffered from lifelong depression and is also trying to come to terms with being gay. Her family is a religious Catholic family and she’s grown up hearing that people like her will be going to hell unless they change their ways.
Avery has pretty much given up when we meet her. She’s failing a class at her first year in college, her soccer career has tanked and her best friend Cass, who she also happens to be in love with, hasn’t spoken to her in months. She can’t see a way to make anything better and decides to end it all. However, once she realizes the world as she knows it is about to end, she decides to hold off and spend her remaining days with her loved ones. Rather than piling onto what her family will be going through.
I cannot stress enough how emotional this was. There are a lot of lows because not only is Avery trying to deal with her mental health and thinking everyone would be better off if she were gone; she’s also now trying to be there for her family in preparing for the end. Avery and her family decide to prepare a bunker in case they can survive somehow after the asteroid hits. On the other hand, there are some really lovely highs as well. After reconnecting with Cass, Avery spends her possibly last days finding some joy again. Her growth and finding out she has things to live for was a touching journey.
This is told in a dual timeline. It begins in the present and then goes back in time so you can see what leads her to her suicide attempt. I mention this because I know there are some out there that don’t like this set up.
However, I found it really worked in giving the backstory on Avery and Cass and Avery’s progression with her depression.
I found the ambiguous ending fitting. It was sweet and hopeful and I love St. Jude for leaving it to me to determine what happens.
I received an ARC from Bloomsbury USA Children’s Books via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
July 13, 2023
something about reading a book about the end of the world while it feels like your own world is ending
May 7, 2022
this is the book i needed years ago, and i'm so glad it will be out in the world next year. there's so much healing and hurting and hope and love tucked into these pages, and everything about avery's journey is so real. from the queerness to the mental health rep to every single thing in this book, actually... i only have love and lots of tears for this beautiful book.
July 8, 2023
If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come centres on Avery, a queer teen who is in love with her best friend, Cass. On the morning that Avery plans to jump into the river by her college campus, she receives a call from Cass, notifying her of an asteroid heading towards Earth. With nine days left before impact, Avery decides to head home to spend her last days with her family.
Although it is billed as an apocalyptic romance, the impending asteroid set to wipe them out was more a backdrop than a valid source of conflict. I understand that the real story was for Avery to realise that life is worth living, and essentially make peace with her mental health, but to have the threat of annihilation barely come into play during the book felt so bizarre. A lot of issues came up BECAUSE of it, but the lack of terror regarding their situation was confusing to me. The majority of conflicts were interpersonal or due to Avery’s insecurities, which I found quite repetitive and dull when in the shadow of such a huge impending event.
Avery’s perspective is shaped by her mental health, so a lot of what she says is meant to be unreasonable and inconsequential, but to her it’s the biggest thing in her life. The idea of having a failing grade and being kicked off her soccer team, as a teen, IS the end of the world, and they definitely make you feel the way that Avery felt. I think this accumulation of events leading to her declining mental health are portrayed very well, and make a lot of sense. What I found frustrating was that they continued to be used a source of tension when there is a week left before they all potentially die. Surely that can’t be the most pressing thing on your mind? As we are in Avery’s perspective for the entire book, it becomes a little difficult to sympathise with her, especially when almost every other character is being prevented from being with family during the end of the world, including her roommate, Aisha, whose family are literally 5,000 miles away. I could empathise for the first half, but when it’s close to 400 pages of catastrophising, it becomes a lot.
One of the main issues I had with this was the inconsistency surrounding the apocalyptic landscape. When they first leave the college, it is a horror show with people abandoning cars, being beat up on the side of the road, and being near impossible to travel anywhere, but within a couple of days, Cass was able to drive to New York and back (and put on a fashion show?), and then on to the college where Avery had easily gotten back to with no issues. As well, the constant talk of the outside being too dangerous, yet the girls go to a house party, take a toddler sledding on their own without supervision, and go scavenging through people’s houses? It drove me crazy, honestly. To follow it with an armed robbery (!!!), and then have two teenage girls show up to the robbers’ house with baseball bats and sewing needles (?) to try and get their stuff back… idk man.
Following this, the armed robber was Avery’s prom date who just felt so unbelievably cartoonish, like a complete caricature of a mean, entitled villain. Considering he is the only antagonist throughout the entire book, I feel like he could have been fleshed out more to make him feel more threatening, rather than just being some guy.
The romance side was… fine. I didn’t particularly care about Cass or Avery as characters, and I felt that there was a lot of telling rather than showing when it came to their pining. I appreciated that they began as friends, and there was a rich love between them that would only get richer, but I felt like there wasn’t a lot of fleshing out either relationship to begin with, so we just know that they are friends, but we don’t know why.
I think this book has solidified to me that I can no longer read young adult books that aren’t rereads from my young adult life (this was made extremely clear to me when they referred to Bend It Like Beckham as an ‘old’ movie, and that Avery wasn’t even born in 2002 when it came out). Maybe I just can’t relate to the writing style, and that’s fine. I loved the lesbian representation, and how the word is used openly and freely, rather then being hidden behind ‘safer’ vocabulary, and I think the portrayal of mental health is positive. This is 2⭐️ for me, but I can understand why people like it.
Although it is billed as an apocalyptic romance, the impending asteroid set to wipe them out was more a backdrop than a valid source of conflict. I understand that the real story was for Avery to realise that life is worth living, and essentially make peace with her mental health, but to have the threat of annihilation barely come into play during the book felt so bizarre. A lot of issues came up BECAUSE of it, but the lack of terror regarding their situation was confusing to me. The majority of conflicts were interpersonal or due to Avery’s insecurities, which I found quite repetitive and dull when in the shadow of such a huge impending event.
Avery’s perspective is shaped by her mental health, so a lot of what she says is meant to be unreasonable and inconsequential, but to her it’s the biggest thing in her life. The idea of having a failing grade and being kicked off her soccer team, as a teen, IS the end of the world, and they definitely make you feel the way that Avery felt. I think this accumulation of events leading to her declining mental health are portrayed very well, and make a lot of sense. What I found frustrating was that they continued to be used a source of tension when there is a week left before they all potentially die. Surely that can’t be the most pressing thing on your mind? As we are in Avery’s perspective for the entire book, it becomes a little difficult to sympathise with her, especially when almost every other character is being prevented from being with family during the end of the world, including her roommate, Aisha, whose family are literally 5,000 miles away. I could empathise for the first half, but when it’s close to 400 pages of catastrophising, it becomes a lot.
One of the main issues I had with this was the inconsistency surrounding the apocalyptic landscape. When they first leave the college, it is a horror show with people abandoning cars, being beat up on the side of the road, and being near impossible to travel anywhere, but within a couple of days, Cass was able to drive to New York and back (and put on a fashion show?), and then on to the college where Avery had easily gotten back to with no issues. As well, the constant talk of the outside being too dangerous, yet the girls go to a house party, take a toddler sledding on their own without supervision, and go scavenging through people’s houses? It drove me crazy, honestly. To follow it with an armed robbery (!!!), and then have two teenage girls show up to the robbers’ house with baseball bats and sewing needles (?) to try and get their stuff back… idk man.
Following this, the armed robber was Avery’s prom date who just felt so unbelievably cartoonish, like a complete caricature of a mean, entitled villain. Considering he is the only antagonist throughout the entire book, I feel like he could have been fleshed out more to make him feel more threatening, rather than just being some guy.
The romance side was… fine. I didn’t particularly care about Cass or Avery as characters, and I felt that there was a lot of telling rather than showing when it came to their pining. I appreciated that they began as friends, and there was a rich love between them that would only get richer, but I felt like there wasn’t a lot of fleshing out either relationship to begin with, so we just know that they are friends, but we don’t know why.
I think this book has solidified to me that I can no longer read young adult books that aren’t rereads from my young adult life (this was made extremely clear to me when they referred to Bend It Like Beckham as an ‘old’ movie, and that Avery wasn’t even born in 2002 when it came out). Maybe I just can’t relate to the writing style, and that’s fine. I loved the lesbian representation, and how the word is used openly and freely, rather then being hidden behind ‘safer’ vocabulary, and I think the portrayal of mental health is positive. This is 2⭐️ for me, but I can understand why people like it.
June 10, 2023
This was beautiful in a myriad of ways. Tender, thoughtful, heart aching, loving and ultimately hopeful, this is a story that won't be leaving me for a very long time. It's a story of love, family, grief, mental health, loss, hope and self acceptance. It's a story of humanity at its best and worst and I utterly adored it.
I am so impressed with Jen St. Jude's ability to write in a way that makes reading feel effortless, which is admittedly needed because boy does this story takes a toll on all the emotions. There were moments I wanted to stop to take a breath but St. Judes writing is so compelling, I couldn't pull myself away.
I absolutely adored this unique and stunning take on the classic 'apocalyptic' story and I am incredibly excited to read whatever Jen St. Jude writes next.
TW: discussion of suicide and suicidal thoughts, homophobia, depression, religious bigotry
I am so impressed with Jen St. Jude's ability to write in a way that makes reading feel effortless, which is admittedly needed because boy does this story takes a toll on all the emotions. There were moments I wanted to stop to take a breath but St. Judes writing is so compelling, I couldn't pull myself away.
I absolutely adored this unique and stunning take on the classic 'apocalyptic' story and I am incredibly excited to read whatever Jen St. Jude writes next.
TW: discussion of suicide and suicidal thoughts, homophobia, depression, religious bigotry
December 27, 2022
Official blurb: If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is a beautiful exploration of the endless night of depression and the illuminating joy of what happens when morning comes and the sun rises. This stunning book is one you’ll want tucked away in your backpack at the end of the world.
Unofficially: read this book and become a sobbing full-hearted mess like I do every time I finish it :D
Unofficially: read this book and become a sobbing full-hearted mess like I do every time I finish it :D
August 15, 2023
Szerzej o książce w tym filmie
https://youtu.be/9Z6xMTh-R9A
https://youtu.be/9Z6xMTh-R9A
June 30, 2023
3.5 stars
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review!
I love an end-of-the-world type of story, and I loved how this book focused on the present day leading up to the impact of an asteroid, and the past, flashing back to important moments in the main character's life. There were a lot of complicated family dynamics going on here, and heavy discussion of topics such as mental health, particularly suicidal ideation and depression, both of which I thought were portrayed really well. I really loved how the relationships Avery had with her parents, with her brother and his family, with the friends she made and with the girl she loves, all strengthened and developed despite the chaos and horror of knowing what's to come.
I do think that there were definitely aspects of the story that needed further development - a lot of the time, it felt as though plot twists and characters were being thrown in there without any real buildup to them, and completely unnecessarily. It felt quite chaotic, which I guess fits the vibes, but doesn't work for any emotional impact. I also felt like the love interest was pretty unlikeable to me - she was very self-centred, even in scenes when Avery was trying to comfort others or save others, it seemed to be all about how the love interest was feeling.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a free eARC in exchange for an honest review!
I love an end-of-the-world type of story, and I loved how this book focused on the present day leading up to the impact of an asteroid, and the past, flashing back to important moments in the main character's life. There were a lot of complicated family dynamics going on here, and heavy discussion of topics such as mental health, particularly suicidal ideation and depression, both of which I thought were portrayed really well. I really loved how the relationships Avery had with her parents, with her brother and his family, with the friends she made and with the girl she loves, all strengthened and developed despite the chaos and horror of knowing what's to come.
I do think that there were definitely aspects of the story that needed further development - a lot of the time, it felt as though plot twists and characters were being thrown in there without any real buildup to them, and completely unnecessarily. It felt quite chaotic, which I guess fits the vibes, but doesn't work for any emotional impact. I also felt like the love interest was pretty unlikeable to me - she was very self-centred, even in scenes when Avery was trying to comfort others or save others, it seemed to be all about how the love interest was feeling.
December 16, 2023
no thoughts just the author's acknowledgements: "Tomorrow will come. It will, I swear it. I'll meet you in the morning."
screaming, crying, throwing up
screaming, crying, throwing up
May 18, 2023
On my blog.
Actual rating 3.5
Rep: lesbian mc with clinical depression, Indian American Latina butch lesbian li, Nigerian Muslim ace side character, Nigerian Muslim lesbian side character, Jewish bi side character
CWs: attempted suicide, suicidal ideation, sexual harassment, home invasion, religious homophobia
Galley provided by publisher
I say this at the start of every YA review nowadays, it feels like, in one of two ways: to explain why I didn’t like it, or to express surprise that I did like it. I don’t read that much YA anymore. I have aged out of it for the most part (some authors aside). So I’m glad to say that I really liked If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come, a book I’ve been hoping and praying would beat the not-for-me-because-it’s-YA allegations. It did! Let us rejoice!
The book opens with an attempted suicide — it covers some quite heavy topics in that respect — which is interrupted when Avery gets a call from her best friend Cass, who she’s in love with, to say that there’s an asteroid heading towards Earth which might well kill them all. What follows next is a dual storyline, taking us both towards the suicide attempt and away from it as the end of the world approaches.
If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is frequently a gut punch of a book, one that will leave you feeling raw and hollowed out. Yet, for all the heaviness of it at times, everything is treated with such kindness and grace that, despite it being the end of the world, you know that things will turn out okay. That it might feel bad for Avery at the time but she can and will pull through it. Throughout the book, there’s that kindness inherent in the narrative when it comes to all of the characters, not only Avery.
And it’s a cast of characters who you’re guaranteed to love (mostly… you’ll notice the exceptions). All of them feel like they’re fully fleshed out, not only Avery. Sometimes, it feels like that’s the case, that the central character is the only one who’s at all realistic, but not so here. Such care has been put into each and every one of the side characters too, their journeys and their growth.
This is also a very immersive book — when I finally looked up from reading it, it took me a moment to remember that we weren’t 9 days from the end of the world — and I think that’s part of why the emotions of it work so well. This is a book that tugs on your heartstrings, makes you empathise so deeply with its main character, and part of that is how easily absorbed you get by it.
So, if this is a book you’ve had your eye on, then let me say it won’t disappoint. And it’s definitely one that makes Jen St. Jude an author to look out for.
Actual rating 3.5
Rep: lesbian mc with clinical depression, Indian American Latina butch lesbian li, Nigerian Muslim ace side character, Nigerian Muslim lesbian side character, Jewish bi side character
CWs: attempted suicide, suicidal ideation, sexual harassment, home invasion, religious homophobia
Galley provided by publisher
I say this at the start of every YA review nowadays, it feels like, in one of two ways: to explain why I didn’t like it, or to express surprise that I did like it. I don’t read that much YA anymore. I have aged out of it for the most part (some authors aside). So I’m glad to say that I really liked If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come, a book I’ve been hoping and praying would beat the not-for-me-because-it’s-YA allegations. It did! Let us rejoice!
The book opens with an attempted suicide — it covers some quite heavy topics in that respect — which is interrupted when Avery gets a call from her best friend Cass, who she’s in love with, to say that there’s an asteroid heading towards Earth which might well kill them all. What follows next is a dual storyline, taking us both towards the suicide attempt and away from it as the end of the world approaches.
If Tomorrow Doesn’t Come is frequently a gut punch of a book, one that will leave you feeling raw and hollowed out. Yet, for all the heaviness of it at times, everything is treated with such kindness and grace that, despite it being the end of the world, you know that things will turn out okay. That it might feel bad for Avery at the time but she can and will pull through it. Throughout the book, there’s that kindness inherent in the narrative when it comes to all of the characters, not only Avery.
And it’s a cast of characters who you’re guaranteed to love (mostly… you’ll notice the exceptions). All of them feel like they’re fully fleshed out, not only Avery. Sometimes, it feels like that’s the case, that the central character is the only one who’s at all realistic, but not so here. Such care has been put into each and every one of the side characters too, their journeys and their growth.
This is also a very immersive book — when I finally looked up from reading it, it took me a moment to remember that we weren’t 9 days from the end of the world — and I think that’s part of why the emotions of it work so well. This is a book that tugs on your heartstrings, makes you empathise so deeply with its main character, and part of that is how easily absorbed you get by it.
So, if this is a book you’ve had your eye on, then let me say it won’t disappoint. And it’s definitely one that makes Jen St. Jude an author to look out for.
August 14, 2023
“i stood there for however long i could without moving, letting the pain register in my brain and the cold in my ribs. i heard peter and cass calling my name, but all i could do was stand there and cry, because everything was so beautiful, and i didn’t know how to feel it.”
standing on the edge of a dock, avery byrne is ready to end her life. when she learns an asteroid will hit the earth in nine days, she steps back. staying alive for nine more days to spare her loved ones pain. she can do that. she’ll do anything for them. as time runs out, avery discovers what it means to live once more & who she lives for.
i’ve been thinking about needs vs wants. some books you want & crave. others you need, as though you cannot fathom the idea of the world turning without its existence.
if tomorrow doesn’t come is a need. one pieced with shards of hope & filled with heart. its personal, something beautiful & necessary tucked away within the pages. you can feel it.
so much of this novel is bold yet quiet, something visceral that endures long after the last page. there were conversations that rewired my brain; words that, even years later, i still needed to hear.
for all the heaviness that lies within, all the hurting & healing, there is an inherent compassion. a warm hand hold as it asks: why live, why try?
another kindness—the juxtaposition between avery & her nephew teddy; a young adult & child. a look at what growing up takes away—that childlike wonder & faith. the gradual sense of losing control, realizing you’re not who you imagined you’d be & falling into a tunnel vision of only your failings.
you witness the attempt to protect that childlike innocence. the quiet ache of losing it anyway but allowing yourself to re-find it, to steal some of that hope back, even as an adult.
growing up is such a endless, winding road of finding something to pull you to the next day & the next, to allow yourself to feel sad, to feel scared, to feel hope. remembering not just loving but /why/ you love. & eventually, circling back to the question of why you’re deserving of love? why you’re deserving to live?
perhaps the difficult answer is simply: you just are.
June 1, 2023
If Tomorrow Doesn't Come is definitely a heartfelt YA that aptly covers thematic grounds of mental health awareness, queerness, religion and most of all, the strength you gain from the love around you. My favourite part would be all the interactions Avery has with her parents, her brother and his family and the friends she makes in the few days. Amidst the chaos of the world ending, it was touching to see them all care for each other and form that close knit group of people she could rely on. Do look at the content warnings before diving into the book!
If Tomorrow Doesn't Come is evidently penned with an emotional depth to stay true to the truths it wanted to tell. I admire that ITDC portrays depression as the painful truth it is; that Avery could be surrounded by loving people, be a great soccer player, get into an Ivy League school and still feel an emptiness inside. I like that the book is emotionally vulnerable, that it lets Avery feel the sadness, lets her reach the lows in her life and then works its way to realizing the things she wants to live for. Combined with the premise of the world ending I really think ITDC explores the reality of mental illness with care and compassion, down to every small event that could add to the despair Avery was feeling, but also weaves strength and hope into the lines by allowing Avery to find the sparks of happiness around her.
Despite the thoughtful way it's written, I did find some moments to be unreasonable that took away the flow of the story. While I enjoyed the building relationship between Avery and Cass, I could do with more depth to their dynamic to understand the chemistry. Also, while the set up for the asteroid crashing was introduced interestingly it quickly turned into a backdrop for the rest of the story, which I wouldn't say is bad per se, but it seemed more like a reminder than an impending doom.
If Tomorrow Doesn't Come is evidently penned with an emotional depth to stay true to the truths it wanted to tell. I admire that ITDC portrays depression as the painful truth it is; that Avery could be surrounded by loving people, be a great soccer player, get into an Ivy League school and still feel an emptiness inside. I like that the book is emotionally vulnerable, that it lets Avery feel the sadness, lets her reach the lows in her life and then works its way to realizing the things she wants to live for. Combined with the premise of the world ending I really think ITDC explores the reality of mental illness with care and compassion, down to every small event that could add to the despair Avery was feeling, but also weaves strength and hope into the lines by allowing Avery to find the sparks of happiness around her.
Despite the thoughtful way it's written, I did find some moments to be unreasonable that took away the flow of the story. While I enjoyed the building relationship between Avery and Cass, I could do with more depth to their dynamic to understand the chemistry. Also, while the set up for the asteroid crashing was introduced interestingly it quickly turned into a backdrop for the rest of the story, which I wouldn't say is bad per se, but it seemed more like a reminder than an impending doom.
May 23, 2023
Thank you to Colored Pages Blog Tours and Bloomsbury Publishing for a physical ARC in exchange for an honest review and promotion. All opinions are my own.
I loved this so much!! Please read this book immediately. You will feel all the feelings!
Rep: white Irish-American lesbian cis female MC with depression and suicidal ideation, Mexican--Indian-American lesbian cis female side character, Muslim Nigerian asexual cis female side character, Nigerian-Canadian sapphic cis female side character, South Asian gay cis male side character, white Irish cishet side characters.
CW: Depression, grief, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt (MC), suicide (SC, off page but discussed and mentioned throughout), religious bigotry, lesbophobia/lesbomisia, general queerphobia/queermisia, sexual content, impending apocalypse (asteroid to hit Earth), mass panic, violence, gun violence, injury/injury detail, confinement.
I loved this so much!! Please read this book immediately. You will feel all the feelings!
Rep: white Irish-American lesbian cis female MC with depression and suicidal ideation, Mexican--Indian-American lesbian cis female side character, Muslim Nigerian asexual cis female side character, Nigerian-Canadian sapphic cis female side character, South Asian gay cis male side character, white Irish cishet side characters.
CW: Depression, grief, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt (MC), suicide (SC, off page but discussed and mentioned throughout), religious bigotry, lesbophobia/lesbomisia, general queerphobia/queermisia, sexual content, impending apocalypse (asteroid to hit Earth), mass panic, violence, gun violence, injury/injury detail, confinement.
July 10, 2024
Actual rating: 4.5
At this point I'm quite convinced the sapphics are incapable of writing bad stories, because this was just so beautiful that I wish a lot more people knew about it. While it took me some time to get used to the writing, I loved just how thoughtful and reflective the tone was. The mental health representation here is spot on and I found myself relating to Avery's struggles with her depression, religious trauma, and queerness. The characters here are so well-realized and feel very grounded that I would've loved to be part of their bunker group even if the world was facing its inevitable ending. I thought this would just be a 4-star read but that ending was so beautiful and heartfelt that I had to bump it up a bit. Highly recommend this one!
At this point I'm quite convinced the sapphics are incapable of writing bad stories, because this was just so beautiful that I wish a lot more people knew about it. While it took me some time to get used to the writing, I loved just how thoughtful and reflective the tone was. The mental health representation here is spot on and I found myself relating to Avery's struggles with her depression, religious trauma, and queerness. The characters here are so well-realized and feel very grounded that I would've loved to be part of their bunker group even if the world was facing its inevitable ending. I thought this would just be a 4-star read but that ending was so beautiful and heartfelt that I had to bump it up a bit. Highly recommend this one!
April 1, 2023
I received a physical ARC at NCTE. My review is based on my personal opinion.
This story touched me in a way very few books ever come close to. I'm someone who almost didn't survive my teenage years due to severe depression (most likely associated with being in the closet and as-yet-undiagnosed as autistic), and over the years I've read a handful of books about teenage characters grappling with depression and other forms of mental illness. But none so perfectly encapsulate the feeling of suicidal ideation in both a nuanced and respectful way like IF TOMORROW DOESN'T COME for me. It's also probably the only book I've read about a suicidal teen that left me in tears and also feeling so happy by the final page. The message of finding things to live for, without downplaying how severely depression can impact every aspect of your life, is masterfully crafted. This book is going to change so many teen readers' lives for the better.
Avery is a fully-formed character whose depression is a huge part of her life, but it's not her entire personality. We see her hopes, her dreams, and her increasing difficulty to live up to her own high expectations throughout the course of the flashback chapters in this story. Through it all, there's this looming disaster of an astroid about to make landfall and wipe out life as everyone knows it. It doesn't feel like this should all work in a story that's very personal about someone deciding to end their life, and I'm honestly not sure it would've if it'd been written by anyone other than Jen St. Jude because there are so many ways the impending doom of the asteroid could've overshadowed Avery's personal journey. St. Jude balanced both elements of this story so nicely.
The secondary cast of characters is also stellar, from three-year-old Teddy (who is not quite able to fully say "fuck the patriarchy" but tries at Cass's prompting anyway) to Avery's longtime crush Cass and college dormmate Aisha. Even her parents, devout Roman Catholics, feel like fully formed people in their own right. I felt particularly drawn to Dr. Talley even though he was a relatively minor character (as in, I would read an entire book that unpacks his life on the lead-up to this astroid strike, please and thanks).
It's also so fascinating to me that an end-of-the-world book can feel both bittersweet and hopeful by the final page, but that's exactly how this one left me feeling.
This review is all over the place, because I'm honestly not sure how to dissect something that feels so personal to me in such a public space. But I unequivocally recommend this book to anyone interested in mental health, queer rep, the relationship of queerness to religion (Christianity > Catholicism primarily but there's also some Muslim rep with Aisha and her family), and stories that feel like they're set in the present with a sci-fi/speculative element. This book comes out in May and should absolutely be on your TBR.
This story touched me in a way very few books ever come close to. I'm someone who almost didn't survive my teenage years due to severe depression (most likely associated with being in the closet and as-yet-undiagnosed as autistic), and over the years I've read a handful of books about teenage characters grappling with depression and other forms of mental illness. But none so perfectly encapsulate the feeling of suicidal ideation in both a nuanced and respectful way like IF TOMORROW DOESN'T COME for me. It's also probably the only book I've read about a suicidal teen that left me in tears and also feeling so happy by the final page. The message of finding things to live for, without downplaying how severely depression can impact every aspect of your life, is masterfully crafted. This book is going to change so many teen readers' lives for the better.
Avery is a fully-formed character whose depression is a huge part of her life, but it's not her entire personality. We see her hopes, her dreams, and her increasing difficulty to live up to her own high expectations throughout the course of the flashback chapters in this story. Through it all, there's this looming disaster of an astroid about to make landfall and wipe out life as everyone knows it. It doesn't feel like this should all work in a story that's very personal about someone deciding to end their life, and I'm honestly not sure it would've if it'd been written by anyone other than Jen St. Jude because there are so many ways the impending doom of the asteroid could've overshadowed Avery's personal journey. St. Jude balanced both elements of this story so nicely.
The secondary cast of characters is also stellar, from three-year-old Teddy (who is not quite able to fully say "fuck the patriarchy" but tries at Cass's prompting anyway) to Avery's longtime crush Cass and college dormmate Aisha. Even her parents, devout Roman Catholics, feel like fully formed people in their own right. I felt particularly drawn to Dr. Talley even though he was a relatively minor character (as in, I would read an entire book that unpacks his life on the lead-up to this astroid strike, please and thanks).
It's also so fascinating to me that an end-of-the-world book can feel both bittersweet and hopeful by the final page, but that's exactly how this one left me feeling.
This review is all over the place, because I'm honestly not sure how to dissect something that feels so personal to me in such a public space. But I unequivocally recommend this book to anyone interested in mental health, queer rep, the relationship of queerness to religion (Christianity > Catholicism primarily but there's also some Muslim rep with Aisha and her family), and stories that feel like they're set in the present with a sci-fi/speculative element. This book comes out in May and should absolutely be on your TBR.
November 10, 2023
This was my first actual sapphic romance I’ve read. I absolutely loved how it’s written so different to my usual MM romance reads. This book had it all love, laughter, tears and mental health issues. I was sold on the idea of this book woth the asteroid heading towards earth as I’ve always been interested in natural disasters and space phenomena. Jen St. Jude smashed this out of the ball park I loved her writing and I hope she releases more novels. I highly recommend this book.
July 28, 2023
myślę, że najbardziej 3,75⭐.
ta książka nie zmieniła mojego życia. ale dotknęła mnie, jeśli chodzi o cytaty. i to, jak idealnie czułam dużo przemyśleń bohaterki, bo sama myślę podobnie.
doceniam za "gdzie szukać wsparcia?", bo to ważne.
ta książka nie zmieniła mojego życia. ale dotknęła mnie, jeśli chodzi o cytaty. i to, jak idealnie czułam dużo przemyśleń bohaterki, bo sama myślę podobnie.
doceniam za "gdzie szukać wsparcia?", bo to ważne.
August 9, 2022
I finally met a book that made me understand why people highlight the crap out of their books.
Reading this book made me feel so wholly seen. From the continued discussion of religious trauma and how it feels to be hurt by something that used to provide so much hope, to the raw accuracy of suicidal depression and the way it warps your thought processes and rational thinking, to the description of crushing loneliness. So many aspects of this book were so beautifully done, but what struck me right in the heart was the presence of Avery’s nephew. Someone too young to understand the utter tragedy before him, and how the family wants more than anything to protect him and his innocence of the situation. Other little things I enjoyed: multiple Alvin and the Chipmunks references, predictions of future pop culture, and the wholesome presence of Scout.
Thank you so much to Jen for sending me an advanced readers copy of this title!
Reading this book made me feel so wholly seen. From the continued discussion of religious trauma and how it feels to be hurt by something that used to provide so much hope, to the raw accuracy of suicidal depression and the way it warps your thought processes and rational thinking, to the description of crushing loneliness. So many aspects of this book were so beautifully done, but what struck me right in the heart was the presence of Avery’s nephew. Someone too young to understand the utter tragedy before him, and how the family wants more than anything to protect him and his innocence of the situation. Other little things I enjoyed: multiple Alvin and the Chipmunks references, predictions of future pop culture, and the wholesome presence of Scout.
Thank you so much to Jen for sending me an advanced readers copy of this title!
June 5, 2024
Ta książka zawiera tyle słów które potrzebowałam usłyszeć…
May 7, 2023
This was a tender and heartfelt story that managed to make the end of the world feel hopeful.
Avery Byrne decides to take her own life on the day it is announced that an asteroid is going to hit the Earth in 9 days, wiping out everything. The story follows Avery through those 9 days, as well as her past.
I really appreciated the writing style in this. From the author’s note to the end so much care and love went into approaching these heavy topics, all while keeping it appropriate for younger audiences who will benefit greatly from a voice like this. I enjoyed the story, the family dynamics and the way Avery’s battle with shame, guilt and depression was explored completely and categorically broke my heart and then put it back together. My heart was in my throat the entire time.
My issues were minor and I think purely subjective. I found myself questioning if what the characters were doing in certain situations was reasonable considering the end of the world and the state of humanity at that point but I can’t go into details without spoiling and ultimately, it was well portrayed for young adults and just my mind running away. I also felt like some of the side characters could’ve been a bit more fleshed out, but nothing too much.
This is a beautiful, beautiful story that will stay with me for a long time.
Thank you to Penguin UK and TheWriteReads for providing this advance copy.
Avery Byrne decides to take her own life on the day it is announced that an asteroid is going to hit the Earth in 9 days, wiping out everything. The story follows Avery through those 9 days, as well as her past.
I really appreciated the writing style in this. From the author’s note to the end so much care and love went into approaching these heavy topics, all while keeping it appropriate for younger audiences who will benefit greatly from a voice like this. I enjoyed the story, the family dynamics and the way Avery’s battle with shame, guilt and depression was explored completely and categorically broke my heart and then put it back together. My heart was in my throat the entire time.
My issues were minor and I think purely subjective. I found myself questioning if what the characters were doing in certain situations was reasonable considering the end of the world and the state of humanity at that point but I can’t go into details without spoiling and ultimately, it was well portrayed for young adults and just my mind running away. I also felt like some of the side characters could’ve been a bit more fleshed out, but nothing too much.
This is a beautiful, beautiful story that will stay with me for a long time.
Thank you to Penguin UK and TheWriteReads for providing this advance copy.
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