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244 pages, Hardcover
First published August 29, 2023
“The first revelation I had the year I sat in bed was that I had made a deal without realizing it when I entered the church and when I married my husband - a deal with patriarchy, if you will. And while I had upheld my end of it, the men I’d made the deal with had not upheld theirs.
They wanted me to submit and follow, and I did. I’d embraced their ideas, and I’d done my part of the work. I stayed home, supported my husband, and raised the children. I’d gotten up every morning and tried my best to fulfill patriarchy’s dreams - the dream of male leadership. In return, the men of the church had promised to protect and love me. But they did not do that.
They did not protect or cherish me. They did not acknowledge the whole me. How can someone protect or cherish something they don’t even see? Or don’t wish to see? I had no voice or place in their world. The real me was punished and tamed like Eve…”
"How does it help society for a woman to live as a mere fraction of herself? What if Barbara Streisand never sang? What if Julia Child never went to France to study cooking? Had these women been in my church, their talents never would have seen the light of day. How many Barbaras and Julias are out there quietly shrinking instead of growing?”