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Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World
“I move throughout the world without a plan, guided by instinct, connecting through trust, and constantly watching for serendipitous opportunities.” —From the Preface
Tales of a Female Nomad is the story of Rita Golden Gelman, an ordinary woman who is living an extraordinary existence. At the age of forty-eight, on the verge of a divorce, Rita left an elegant life in L.A. to follow her dream of connecting with people in cultures all over the world. In 1986 she sold her possessions and became a nomad, living in a Zapotec village in Mexico, sleeping with sea lions on the Galapagos Islands, and residing everywhere from thatched huts to regal palaces. She has observed orangutans in the rain forest of Borneo, visited trance healers and dens of black magic, and cooked with women on fires all over the world. Rita’s example encourages us all to dust off our dreams and rediscover the joy, the exuberance, and the hidden spirit that so many of us bury when we become adults.
Tales of a Female Nomad is the story of Rita Golden Gelman, an ordinary woman who is living an extraordinary existence. At the age of forty-eight, on the verge of a divorce, Rita left an elegant life in L.A. to follow her dream of connecting with people in cultures all over the world. In 1986 she sold her possessions and became a nomad, living in a Zapotec village in Mexico, sleeping with sea lions on the Galapagos Islands, and residing everywhere from thatched huts to regal palaces. She has observed orangutans in the rain forest of Borneo, visited trance healers and dens of black magic, and cooked with women on fires all over the world. Rita’s example encourages us all to dust off our dreams and rediscover the joy, the exuberance, and the hidden spirit that so many of us bury when we become adults.
312 pages, Paperback
First published May 22, 2001
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,506 reviews
June 20, 2009
Sigh . . . another person whose life is in upheaval decides she needs to know what the simple folk do, and goes a-traveling. The most tragicomic moment of complete un-self-awareness comes when the author reckons up what it would take to live in deep south Mexico for a year and decides it would be as little as $15,000!
Honeybun, there are women raising five kids on one third of that where you were. And they're lucky.
If this had been a male writer and about martial arts, it would've been the book American Shaolin--except that he could actually be charmingly self-aware and funny.
Most of her comments are things like: I went to see the mountains. They were beautiful. They calmed my soul. The driver was very (pick one) nice/rude/handsome.
Her postcard from the edge? Having a great time, wish I were present in my own life. . .
Sigh - I hear she wrote some lovely children's books.
Don't mind me, I have PMS and teach Cultural Anthropology for a living.
Honeybun, there are women raising five kids on one third of that where you were. And they're lucky.
If this had been a male writer and about martial arts, it would've been the book American Shaolin--except that he could actually be charmingly self-aware and funny.
Most of her comments are things like: I went to see the mountains. They were beautiful. They calmed my soul. The driver was very (pick one) nice/rude/handsome.
Her postcard from the edge? Having a great time, wish I were present in my own life. . .
Sigh - I hear she wrote some lovely children's books.
Don't mind me, I have PMS and teach Cultural Anthropology for a living.
March 18, 2011
I hated this book. Probably because I expected to really like it. The author wasn't very likeable for me, and I didn't like her exploits. She's also not a true nomad, having a good income from her books and being able to fly back to visit her children whenever she wanted, and staying in one place for years at a time without having to wash dishes for a living.
The incident in Guatemala when her host was beating his wife creeped me out: "I can't interfere, that's her destiny". Bullshit.
And then in Bali, where she wasn't comfortable with the way women were second-class citizens but was happy to live as a guest with the prince for two years. Eating meals with the prince alone, because his wives don't eat with him. She spouts the philosophy of wanting to know the people and 'be one with them' (which she often seems to equate to just wearing their clothes and eating their food) but is also happy to be treated differently as a foreigner when it's more comfortable, and use her special status as a foreigner to get special treatment. When she ran into the tribespeople in remote Borneo and wanted to go off with them (to be one with them, no doubt) I was thinking "Run! Get away from her, you poor sods!"
She seems like such an annoying person! At the beginning of the book she talked about her great life, hobnobbing with celebrities and going to premieres. Then when she'd realised how hollow that life was and went off and worked for a children's charity in Guatemala, she went back to LA for a visit and all she could talk about was the great work she was doing for the children, how fulfilling, how empty and shallow is the LA lifestyle etc. No wonder she lost all her friends!
And people who go off to exotic places searching for a spiritual awakening really annoy me - it's only because it's exotic that you're falling for it, it's the same old mumbo jumbo all over the world, just different small print.
I only kept reading because I wanted to read the Galapagos and NZ chapters. So the NZ chapter made me realise how little real info she's giving on all the places she visits. It's all about her, really. Which wouldn't have annoyed me so much if I'd expected this to be a memoir, but I expected it to be more about the places she visited.
It just seemed that she was happy to insinuate herself into people's lives, always expecting them to accommodate her, but not noticing the disruption to their lives she was causing (like the women in Guatemala having to protect her from their husbands). And it's all because she believes that you should give and receive favours. So she's okay with accepting hospitality from all these people because she reasons that she'll do favours for other people when she can. Hmm, but when, if she's always going to be the guest and never have her own place and receive guests? Basically she's a freeloader - she'll teach you some English and read her books to your children in return for all the food and accommodation and getting to watch your sacred burial ceremonies, etc.
Having said all that, I admire her for actually leaving her old lifestyle, which seemed to be a strange thing to do in her world given how many people kept telling her she was crazy (in my world 90% of people would be telling you it was a great thing to do and that they'd love to do it too!). And for actually making an effort to learn the languages.
The incident in Guatemala when her host was beating his wife creeped me out: "I can't interfere, that's her destiny". Bullshit.
And then in Bali, where she wasn't comfortable with the way women were second-class citizens but was happy to live as a guest with the prince for two years. Eating meals with the prince alone, because his wives don't eat with him. She spouts the philosophy of wanting to know the people and 'be one with them' (which she often seems to equate to just wearing their clothes and eating their food) but is also happy to be treated differently as a foreigner when it's more comfortable, and use her special status as a foreigner to get special treatment. When she ran into the tribespeople in remote Borneo and wanted to go off with them (to be one with them, no doubt) I was thinking "Run! Get away from her, you poor sods!"
She seems like such an annoying person! At the beginning of the book she talked about her great life, hobnobbing with celebrities and going to premieres. Then when she'd realised how hollow that life was and went off and worked for a children's charity in Guatemala, she went back to LA for a visit and all she could talk about was the great work she was doing for the children, how fulfilling, how empty and shallow is the LA lifestyle etc. No wonder she lost all her friends!
And people who go off to exotic places searching for a spiritual awakening really annoy me - it's only because it's exotic that you're falling for it, it's the same old mumbo jumbo all over the world, just different small print.
I only kept reading because I wanted to read the Galapagos and NZ chapters. So the NZ chapter made me realise how little real info she's giving on all the places she visits. It's all about her, really. Which wouldn't have annoyed me so much if I'd expected this to be a memoir, but I expected it to be more about the places she visited.
It just seemed that she was happy to insinuate herself into people's lives, always expecting them to accommodate her, but not noticing the disruption to their lives she was causing (like the women in Guatemala having to protect her from their husbands). And it's all because she believes that you should give and receive favours. So she's okay with accepting hospitality from all these people because she reasons that she'll do favours for other people when she can. Hmm, but when, if she's always going to be the guest and never have her own place and receive guests? Basically she's a freeloader - she'll teach you some English and read her books to your children in return for all the food and accommodation and getting to watch your sacred burial ceremonies, etc.
Having said all that, I admire her for actually leaving her old lifestyle, which seemed to be a strange thing to do in her world given how many people kept telling her she was crazy (in my world 90% of people would be telling you it was a great thing to do and that they'd love to do it too!). And for actually making an effort to learn the languages.
January 31, 2008
This is one of those memoirs that is all about ME. I did this, and then I did that, and then I did this. And that might be okay, if not for the fact that everyone is Gelman's book is infinitely more interesting than she. It's like being stuck on a tour bus with a chatty guide who is more interested in telling you about her experiences than anything you're seeing. Meanwhile, all the sights go streaming by.
Gelman is the ultimate unreliable narrator -- she's kind of pushy, obnoxious, and self-centered, but thinks of herself as being interested only in the welfare of others. While this could be put to good use in a piece of fiction, in a memoir it is merely tiresome.
Gelman is the ultimate unreliable narrator -- she's kind of pushy, obnoxious, and self-centered, but thinks of herself as being interested only in the welfare of others. While this could be put to good use in a piece of fiction, in a memoir it is merely tiresome.
July 25, 2010
I disliked this woman from the first page. Flaky, self-aggrandizing, selfish. "I prefer soup kitchens to charity banquets" and "all my friends were too white and too American." But I kept reading.
And I disliked her more. The kind of mother who stops mothering when her kids reach 18, living a life where they cannot possibly contact her for help or support. The kind of woman who watches a Mexican man beat his wife and thinks, "Well thats just their culture, I shouldn't interfer" but is incensed by the sexist gender segregation of orthodox Israeli Jews. The only difference being, Poverty. Gelman loves to slum, loves insinutating herself in the "deeply spiritual" lives of hungry people who, in many cases, would trade places with her "hollow" American existance in a bleeding second. She kept saying rediculous things like, "I put on their native clothing, and I became ONE of them..." oh I seriously doubt that. BUT I kept reading.
I still don't like her. But it doesn't change that what she did, leaving all security behind and navigating strangeness and discomfort, is amazing to read about. She really did have some adventures that I wouldn't have the gall to create. Amazing and irritating, all at the same time. You'd HAVE to be a little crazy and full of yourself to manage what she did. I've never enjoyed a book while at the same time I wanted to shove the author. This was a first.
And I disliked her more. The kind of mother who stops mothering when her kids reach 18, living a life where they cannot possibly contact her for help or support. The kind of woman who watches a Mexican man beat his wife and thinks, "Well thats just their culture, I shouldn't interfer" but is incensed by the sexist gender segregation of orthodox Israeli Jews. The only difference being, Poverty. Gelman loves to slum, loves insinutating herself in the "deeply spiritual" lives of hungry people who, in many cases, would trade places with her "hollow" American existance in a bleeding second. She kept saying rediculous things like, "I put on their native clothing, and I became ONE of them..." oh I seriously doubt that. BUT I kept reading.
I still don't like her. But it doesn't change that what she did, leaving all security behind and navigating strangeness and discomfort, is amazing to read about. She really did have some adventures that I wouldn't have the gall to create. Amazing and irritating, all at the same time. You'd HAVE to be a little crazy and full of yourself to manage what she did. I've never enjoyed a book while at the same time I wanted to shove the author. This was a first.
June 13, 2013
I have read many of the other reviews of this book, and I guess I must have missed many of the things that other reviewers mentioned. Yes, this book is written about her, but that's the point...it is about her and her travels. I have read and re-read this book, and every time I finish it, I say "Man, I envy her her courage". And my husband points out that I say that every single time I finish this book. Through Rita, I got to peek behind the curtains, so to speak. I met people I otherwise wouldn't have met, saw things I never would have seen, and experienced vicariously all of her ups and downs through these travels.
With regard to a specific incident in the book that had many people reacting with near horror...the first time I read that, I reacted in a similar manner. However, I had to keep in mind that she was in a foreign place, far from help, and she had no idea what consequences any action on her part would have for either herself or the other woman. It is easy to say "I would have done SOMETHING" when we're in the comfort of our own homes, but it is another thing entirely to actually be in the situation.
At any rate, perhaps my reactions to the book were colored by the fact that Rita reminds me very much of my favorite aunt. Personally, I loved the book, and it's one I re-read regularly enough that it's getting a bit tattered and will soon have to be replaced.
With regard to a specific incident in the book that had many people reacting with near horror...the first time I read that, I reacted in a similar manner. However, I had to keep in mind that she was in a foreign place, far from help, and she had no idea what consequences any action on her part would have for either herself or the other woman. It is easy to say "I would have done SOMETHING" when we're in the comfort of our own homes, but it is another thing entirely to actually be in the situation.
At any rate, perhaps my reactions to the book were colored by the fact that Rita reminds me very much of my favorite aunt. Personally, I loved the book, and it's one I re-read regularly enough that it's getting a bit tattered and will soon have to be replaced.
January 31, 2024
A must-read for any wanderluster who appreciates and can live vicariously through a badass woman with the means and gumption to fearlessly dive into any culture her whims lead her to. This was such an enriching journey reading about such deep immersion into peoples’ lives from all around the world. From languages to food to the love we have for our families and friends, both old and new, simply being human is a severely underappreciated way that we are all sometimes more similar than we know. While I may not have funding or opportunity to travel as boldly as the author did, this book was a reminder that we are surrounded by wonderful communities even right where we are, and we could learn so much from each other if we just make that brave step forward.
May 4, 2009
No! Absolutely NOT! I will not continue to waste my time with this woman who completely missed the point of her "nomadic life" with other cultures.
Another reviewer remarked, "This is one of those memoirs that is all about ME. I did this, and then I did that, and then I did this. And that might be okay, if not for the fact that everyone is Gelman's book is infinitely more interesting than she. It's like being stuck on a tour bus with a chatty guide who is more interested in telling you about her experiences than anything you're seeing. Meanwhile, all the sights go streaming by.
Gelman is the ultimate unreliable narrator -- she's kind of pushy, obnoxious, and self-centered, but thinks of herself as being interested only in the welfare of others. While this could be put to good use in a piece of fiction, in a memoir it is merely tiresome."
I couldn't have said it better! I should have given up on the book well before I did.
Another reviewer remarked, "This is one of those memoirs that is all about ME. I did this, and then I did that, and then I did this. And that might be okay, if not for the fact that everyone is Gelman's book is infinitely more interesting than she. It's like being stuck on a tour bus with a chatty guide who is more interested in telling you about her experiences than anything you're seeing. Meanwhile, all the sights go streaming by.
Gelman is the ultimate unreliable narrator -- she's kind of pushy, obnoxious, and self-centered, but thinks of herself as being interested only in the welfare of others. While this could be put to good use in a piece of fiction, in a memoir it is merely tiresome."
I couldn't have said it better! I should have given up on the book well before I did.
September 17, 2008
Life as a confident independent woman has its rewards. Inspiring tales from the road and the kitchen, and makes me want to email Ms. Gelman, renew my passport, and pack a bag.
February 19, 2012
I disliked this book so much that I couldn't even finish it. It's a memoir - but written in present tense - which drives me crazy. The processing is superficial and dull.
January 22, 2010
putting this on a "good"reads list actually makes me cringe a little bit. i picked this book up because i had a hard time finding books about indonesia (fiction) online, and this came up in my search. it was touted (by one reader) as the predecessor to "eat, pray, love". well, there's a reason Eat, Pray, Love made it big and this one not so much.
the author means well but her writing was choppy. you can tell that she's used to writing for kids. "they do this. i am flattered." chop chop chop. maybe it would have been a good blog or something. as a book it just didn't do it for me. i finished it more out of determination than enjoyment.
other particular grievances i had were the author QUITE enjoying it when some village says that she is a gift from God. she then keeps bringing it up, she can't help wondering if every freakin person she meets "Thinks I am a gift from God too?" it got to the point where i took issue with the author and had to begin doing dramatic readings of particularly obnoxious passages for my traveling companions.
and of course i almost lost it when she describes her great self-sacrifice for her daughter while they travel the Galapagos Islands together. she makes the ultimate sacrifice... she says it has been so long since she has been able to sacrifice for her children, so she is glad to do it. ask me what this sacrifice is. just ASK me.
giving her daughter one of her (eye) contacts out of her eye.
excuse me, i have to barf now.
i'd quote the exact hilarious passage, but i ditched this book on the plane where i finished it. i stuffed it in the pocket and covered it with papers and trash because i was so worried that the diligent Cathay Pacific attendants might find it and bring it back to me. be gone, book, be gone.
the author means well but her writing was choppy. you can tell that she's used to writing for kids. "they do this. i am flattered." chop chop chop. maybe it would have been a good blog or something. as a book it just didn't do it for me. i finished it more out of determination than enjoyment.
other particular grievances i had were the author QUITE enjoying it when some village says that she is a gift from God. she then keeps bringing it up, she can't help wondering if every freakin person she meets "Thinks I am a gift from God too?" it got to the point where i took issue with the author and had to begin doing dramatic readings of particularly obnoxious passages for my traveling companions.
and of course i almost lost it when she describes her great self-sacrifice for her daughter while they travel the Galapagos Islands together. she makes the ultimate sacrifice... she says it has been so long since she has been able to sacrifice for her children, so she is glad to do it. ask me what this sacrifice is. just ASK me.
giving her daughter one of her (eye) contacts out of her eye.
excuse me, i have to barf now.
i'd quote the exact hilarious passage, but i ditched this book on the plane where i finished it. i stuffed it in the pocket and covered it with papers and trash because i was so worried that the diligent Cathay Pacific attendants might find it and bring it back to me. be gone, book, be gone.
January 5, 2008
I saw this book on an endtable at the home of two women...one of them had traveled fairly extensively - or so the masks on her walls implied. They were both in their early 30s.
After reading almost straight through this book - I - well - I was inspired. I am not sure if the writing itself is brilliant...but what she DID is encouraging for people/women who haven't ....done.
After reading almost straight through this book - I - well - I was inspired. I am not sure if the writing itself is brilliant...but what she DID is encouraging for people/women who haven't ....done.
August 12, 2009
Great stories about the author and her life abroad. Oh, let's not forget that she decided to set out and do this at the ripe age of 47. Detailed accounts of her trip piqued my travel thoughts and made me want to go to this amazing places. She has an interesting perspective on life and i enjoy how sometimes she questions them along the way. She basically travels to live in other cultures and integrate herself into their daily life.
I find the favor bank idea interesting. Here's an excerpt, "The 'Favor Bank' concept, asserts that the whole world is one giant “Favor Bank.” We go through life making deposits whenever we do favors for people and that means that whenever we do favors for people, and that means that whenever we need a favor, we’re entitled to a withdrawal. It’s just as important to take out as it is to put in, because each time we accept a favor, we’re allowing someone to make a deposit. I like introducing this idea to people who have trouble 'taking.'"
I find the favor bank idea interesting. Here's an excerpt, "The 'Favor Bank' concept, asserts that the whole world is one giant “Favor Bank.” We go through life making deposits whenever we do favors for people and that means that whenever we do favors for people, and that means that whenever we need a favor, we’re entitled to a withdrawal. It’s just as important to take out as it is to put in, because each time we accept a favor, we’re allowing someone to make a deposit. I like introducing this idea to people who have trouble 'taking.'"
November 1, 2015
I read this the year I was commuting to my job at a chocolate shop, so 2001 I guess. I ended up buying it again along the way to read again. A light book about self-discovery through travel.
November 4, 2014
At the age of forty, Rita Golden Gelman has something of an epiphany. She no longer wants to live the life of luxury that she has been - fancy dinner parties, awards ceremonies, etc. She decides it's never what she wanted in the first place. She begins to pursue a degree in anthropology, which begins to put a strain on an already not so stable marriage.
At the end of the program, she has to go live in a community for awhile, and she and her husband decide to take a two month break while she does this. She decides that she wants to live in a Zapotec village in Mexico. She, of course, goes through the initial fears that anyone has traveling alone, as well as fears about her marriage. But she comes to love the village and finds living a life of teaching english, cooking, hiking, dancing, speaking with the people in the village to be all that she hoped it would.
After two months, her husband asks for two more, and she goes to Guatemala. After those two months, she returns home changed, but willing to make her marriage work, only to hear the first words out of her husband's mouth are that he wants a divorce and he's already called a lawyer. She takes this time to sell all of her belongings to him (they come up with a monetary value for all their possessions and he gives her half of that), set up a separate bank account and automatic bill pay, hire a bookkeeper, and begin her life as a nomad.
She visits a slew of countries - the politically torn Nicaragua, many islands in Indonesia (she uses Bali as a primary base for 8 years), Thailand, New Zealand, and her stories make you want to visit all of them, and make you want to meet some of the same people that she does. I can't even name a favorite anecdote from the book, because there are lots of great ones. I really liked learning about how Balinese people handle a death. I also liked that the people in Bali have a community - everyone in the community is there to support everyone, they're there to help cook, clean, construct, be there for anyone in the community. Everyone is obligated to help out others, and when their time of need comes, everyone else is obligated to help them. It's like a big neighborhood support group for a variety of occasions, and I love that idea.
It's a pretty quick read - because she's normally a children's author, the language she uses is rather simple and easy to digest, but not devoid of interest. She has great description skills, particularly in relation to her surroundings - though I do wish she had spent more time describing the people, but the book came out in 2001 and she did all this in the '80s and '90s, so I'm sure some people's faces started to dissolve.
Other than that, my only other complaint was that there were some places she visited that she didn't write much about, I would've liked to hear more. However, she apparently writes about them on the website she's set up for documenting her continuous travels (right now she's in Seattle!, where her daughter lives). She also set up an e-mail address and says that she will respond to every e-mail. amazing!
At the end of the program, she has to go live in a community for awhile, and she and her husband decide to take a two month break while she does this. She decides that she wants to live in a Zapotec village in Mexico. She, of course, goes through the initial fears that anyone has traveling alone, as well as fears about her marriage. But she comes to love the village and finds living a life of teaching english, cooking, hiking, dancing, speaking with the people in the village to be all that she hoped it would.
After two months, her husband asks for two more, and she goes to Guatemala. After those two months, she returns home changed, but willing to make her marriage work, only to hear the first words out of her husband's mouth are that he wants a divorce and he's already called a lawyer. She takes this time to sell all of her belongings to him (they come up with a monetary value for all their possessions and he gives her half of that), set up a separate bank account and automatic bill pay, hire a bookkeeper, and begin her life as a nomad.
She visits a slew of countries - the politically torn Nicaragua, many islands in Indonesia (she uses Bali as a primary base for 8 years), Thailand, New Zealand, and her stories make you want to visit all of them, and make you want to meet some of the same people that she does. I can't even name a favorite anecdote from the book, because there are lots of great ones. I really liked learning about how Balinese people handle a death. I also liked that the people in Bali have a community - everyone in the community is there to support everyone, they're there to help cook, clean, construct, be there for anyone in the community. Everyone is obligated to help out others, and when their time of need comes, everyone else is obligated to help them. It's like a big neighborhood support group for a variety of occasions, and I love that idea.
It's a pretty quick read - because she's normally a children's author, the language she uses is rather simple and easy to digest, but not devoid of interest. She has great description skills, particularly in relation to her surroundings - though I do wish she had spent more time describing the people, but the book came out in 2001 and she did all this in the '80s and '90s, so I'm sure some people's faces started to dissolve.
Other than that, my only other complaint was that there were some places she visited that she didn't write much about, I would've liked to hear more. However, she apparently writes about them on the website she's set up for documenting her continuous travels (right now she's in Seattle!, where her daughter lives). She also set up an e-mail address and says that she will respond to every e-mail. amazing!
November 25, 2008
Four stars because I love travel writing from a female perspective. I relate to Rita a lot as she discusses her anthropology background and how this affects her approach to travel and interacting with locals. I also appreciate her sense of adventure and ability to laugh at herself. But I do agree with others that her writing is very self-indulgent and I rolled my eyes a few times. I felt the same way about Eat, Pray, Love. I wish I had the money and lack of responsibility to live and travel like that, but I don't, so I have to read about others doing it!
January 20, 2009
This book is about friendship, about people of completely different cultures and how simple it really is for friendship to grow between all of us. In the author's words:
"Communication is not difficult because we all share the sensations of human emotions, the need to affirm our sameness and the universal capacity to laugh."
I highly recommend this book. Its message is wonderful. The stories told are very interesting.
"Communication is not difficult because we all share the sensations of human emotions, the need to affirm our sameness and the universal capacity to laugh."
I highly recommend this book. Its message is wonderful. The stories told are very interesting.
July 30, 2017
I really liked this book. The author is in her forties and her husband has decided he needs some time away from her. She is forty eight and it is the mid 1980's. So she leaves. Her children are grown and she wants to live in different cultures. With very few plans, she ends up in Mexico. This it how it begins her life for the next 15 years traveling to many different cultures, living with families and making extraordinary friendships. Rita Golden Gelman is an author of children's books but this is her story of the life she chose. She is a very brave person.
April 10, 2009
I am a person who loves to travel and I've done my share of traveling -- I'm still jealous. To be able to get up and go, to leave your known world for a bit of the unknown, seems like a luxury that most of can't afford - either because of financial issues, or lack of time, or the responsibilities of real life that bind us to our homes. What I liked about this memoir was Rita's personal journey. Her first trip was to close-by Mexico and, yes, she did go to live in a village, but the Mexican culture is very close to Californians and not too exotic. She had her misgivings, hated eating alone in a restaurant but overcame the challenges, toughed it out and stuck with it. My hat goes off to her for that.
I did find, however, that she never really explored why she felt the need to be away from her real family and substitute it with other family. When she lived in Bali and her mother was dying, it almost seemed as though she felt a deeper loss over the death of Tu Aji, than that of her mother and father. Why? Perhaps she doesn't even know herself, but it did strike me as odd that she would replace her need for friendship, comraderie and ultimately love, with perfect strangers and not with her more immediate family.
In any case, an amazing travel book. Thanks wingedman for thinking of me - I'll try to pass it on to another bxer who travels vicariously through books!
I did find, however, that she never really explored why she felt the need to be away from her real family and substitute it with other family. When she lived in Bali and her mother was dying, it almost seemed as though she felt a deeper loss over the death of Tu Aji, than that of her mother and father. Why? Perhaps she doesn't even know herself, but it did strike me as odd that she would replace her need for friendship, comraderie and ultimately love, with perfect strangers and not with her more immediate family.
In any case, an amazing travel book. Thanks wingedman for thinking of me - I'll try to pass it on to another bxer who travels vicariously through books!
January 19, 2013
I picked this up in an airport on my way to visit my parents in Oregon, thinking it would be a mildly interesting or at least entertaining read to pass the hours. At the end of my flight, I realized I'd stumbled upon a little trove of adventurous, feminist travel writing. Not unlike the premise of Eat, Pray, Love, the author begins her journey with a divorce from her husband, with whom she had shared a highly cultured urban lifestyle of privilege. She also divorces the woman she had become in their 24 years of marriage, and joyfully re-unites with her younger self as she begins a spontaneous trip around the world. Instead of carefully planning her trips and staying in hotels, she lets her life lead her by its own design, and ends up eagerly embraced by locals in their own homes. The writing isn't masterful in itself, but the ideas and story pulled me along so that I gladly overlooked the cliches and an almost trite present-tense format. This is an adventure, and is told like a story around a campfire. Rita travels alone, and while she experiences a few frights and some mild loneliness here and there, overall she is positively transformed by her travels and all the people she grows to know and love. I highly recommend to teenagers, and women of any age who are ready to boldly go...wherever they damn well please!
May 16, 2008
Ok, i admit, I have not finished reading this book yet. She is a bit long winded and slightly self centered in the fact that her focus seams to mainly be concerned with herself. I know its a book about her journeys, so that is supposed to present in the book...but i don't know...whenever she does selfless acts, it seams like its not really self-less. This is just my opinion. She really lost my will to continue on in the chapter where she talked about the Zapotec village. Her hostess was beaten regularly by her husband...which was common in that village. She went on to say something along the lines of "i just have to accept it, because that is her destiny." I tried to keep reading, but that line just bothered me soo much that i didn't make it very far. I might finish it at a later period, just because i crave knowledge on places i've never been before, but the authors long winded, self infatuated ramblings were really hard to trudge through.
February 21, 2008
This woman just dove right in. OK, first she got a Masters in Anthropology to get a taste but then she dove right in. She completely immersed herself in the cultures. Lived in a remote Mexican village with the villagers. Went into the Indonesian forests and learned the language, no easy feat. Gave up her cushy LA lifestyle and never looked back.
April 5, 2013
This was a book club selection otherwise I probably wouldn't have finished it.
I found it frustrating. Here is a writer in interesting parts of the world and what I mostly learn about is her. And it's not even that reflective or insightful. If you are going to talk about yourself, you need to make it interesting, not just a string of descriptions and anecdotes. I can't even begin to say how irritating I found her pious refelction that she couldn't interfere in a wife-beating incident, because she is an anthropologist, an observer. And all her bleating about poor starving children doesn't really make much of an impression when she does little or nothing about it.
I also found a, how can I put this?, smug, self congratulatoey tone to the book. It's not quite so daring to go haring off into the world when you have a guaranteed income (smallish but still!) and a portable career. The writer is pretty much able to indulge in flights home whenever. A privleged nomad indeed.
All that said, I did find some of her exploits interesting especially the hikes and the scuba diving lessons, although even here she comes up short in engaging me in what she sees and does.
I found it frustrating. Here is a writer in interesting parts of the world and what I mostly learn about is her. And it's not even that reflective or insightful. If you are going to talk about yourself, you need to make it interesting, not just a string of descriptions and anecdotes. I can't even begin to say how irritating I found her pious refelction that she couldn't interfere in a wife-beating incident, because she is an anthropologist, an observer. And all her bleating about poor starving children doesn't really make much of an impression when she does little or nothing about it.
I also found a, how can I put this?, smug, self congratulatoey tone to the book. It's not quite so daring to go haring off into the world when you have a guaranteed income (smallish but still!) and a portable career. The writer is pretty much able to indulge in flights home whenever. A privleged nomad indeed.
All that said, I did find some of her exploits interesting especially the hikes and the scuba diving lessons, although even here she comes up short in engaging me in what she sees and does.
March 27, 2010
While the concept is quite amazing and Gelman's courage is inspiring, the composition of this novel is disappointing. The fact that Gelman is a children's book writer is quite evident. This book reads like a mediocre college application essay. I enjoyed reading of places I had never before heard of and would recommend this to anyone interested in world travel. However, if you are a critical or cynical reader (as I am) you may be annoyed with her simple "revelations" and writing style. It seems that one should be able to come upon some much deeper epiphanies given such an amazing opportunity. As some other readers commented, I was also disappointed in Gelman's self centeredness and lack of action in actually trying to realistically help the people she met. It's short and easy enough to read if you would like to hear about a few interesting locations, I don't regret reading it, but don't expect to be blown away.
December 16, 2015
This book was thrilling! Rita took me on a trip to many countries in a way that I would want to experience the countries. She lived the lives of the people of the countries as closely as she could have. I envy her the experience. I have lived briefly in several countries and for an extended time in one country, but I think I always was still a tourist, as I did not truly live the life of a citizen of the country. This book ends in 2001, when Rita was 62, I wonder what she is doing today?
November 7, 2021
Being divorced and having launched children, Rita Goldman Gelman started her travels. With bravery and faith. The faith that Gelman practices is a faith in some unnamed unknowable energy of opportunity and connection. Most situations work out just fine. All situations do resolve. The faith Gelman has matters, making her life and others around her be significantly more manageable than it might have been. In her travels Gelman sometimes makes friends, such as in Bali, and connections in most other locations. Women in all the places she visited all bond in the usual and expected way--food preparation.
I enjoyed listening to Gelman narrate her book. The writers reader always gives the the full meaning of cadence, intonation, and attitudes.
I enjoyed listening to Gelman narrate her book. The writers reader always gives the the full meaning of cadence, intonation, and attitudes.
March 19, 2019
Es esmu patīkami pārsteigta, cik ļoti man patika šī grāmata! Vienkārši, neaizraujoties ar ainavu aprakstiem (ko es novertēju), autore "paņem līdzi" lasītāju savos piedzīvojumos Meksikā, Bali, Taizemē, Izraēlā, Jaunzēlandē un citur.
Action cienītājiem nebūs īstā grāmata, bet tiem, kam patīk palasīt par noskaņu, dažādām kultūrām un ēdieniem, šī varētu būt īstā lasāmviela. Un arī par uzdrīkstēšanos, par global citizen domāšanu, ticību cilvēkiem un ļaušanos notikumiem.
Action cienītājiem nebūs īstā grāmata, bet tiem, kam patīk palasīt par noskaņu, dažādām kultūrām un ēdieniem, šī varētu būt īstā lasāmviela. Un arī par uzdrīkstēšanos, par global citizen domāšanu, ticību cilvēkiem un ļaušanos notikumiem.
March 11, 2012
This is an amazing, astounding book! I couldn't put it down! Rita Golden Gelman is still wandering the world and you can follow her at http://www.ritagoldengelman.com/. I called Rita and she came to my home to do a book group at my home in Atlanta. What a great day! What a great woman! What a great story!
February 3, 2019
This woman seemed so selfish and self-absorbed to me that by the end of the book I didn’t care what she did or where she did it.
February 11, 2011
Eh, it's just okay. Golden Gelman's writing is, at times, boring and slow moving. Sometimes she irritated me with her very American idea that she can just waltz into poor countries and set up a home AND that people will invite her to stay in their homes with them. I realize it's probably very American of me to want advance notice when people stop by for the night and to be wary of strangers from different countries randomly asking me for a place to stay but... wait, wouldn't that seem weird to anyone or is this a very American idea? I realize many other cultures place more importance on hospitality and are more willing to take stranger in for the night (or for many nights), but still. Sometimes I get tired of reading about backpack travelers who want to get to know the places their visiting by basically imposing upon the people of those places. Granted, Golden Gelman (just Gelman?) talks about her idea of the Favor Bank (I think that's what she called it) where everyone does favors/kind things for others and it all comes around, but, let's be honest, how many of those people whose homes she stayed in all over the world are going to come randomly knocking on her door?
If her writing had been more engaging, I might be giving her three stars but it is what it is.
If her writing had been more engaging, I might be giving her three stars but it is what it is.
April 21, 2021
Hey! Do you like reading detailed calendars?! This is the book for you. And bonus - toward the end is was also a cookbook without any real instructions. The potential of this book was immense, the delivery was painful.
I never once felt or imagined anything she "described," not in her own life and not with people of other cultures. It came across as being very self-absorbed.
Where was the awakening or the wonder or any kind of growth? It was likely there in the living of it, but never exposed in the writing of it. It was a long-winded billboard saying, "LOOK AT ME! I DID THIS! AND THIS! AND THIS!" I was sincerely hoping for more.
[As I say this, I realize this intensely negative reaction might be in part a result of listening to the self-read audiobook. Just... NO.]
In truth, it took me months to finish this (where usually it takes a day or two to finish an enjoyable book). I kept hoping it would get better... Okay, let's be honest, I have a compulsion to finish books and a hopeful nature which had me grasping for redemption.
I don't doubt she is a lovely woman to know, and may tell a good story in person or in children's books, but this book - one where I'm already inclined to love it because of the subject matter and lifestyle - is not worth the time.
I never once felt or imagined anything she "described," not in her own life and not with people of other cultures. It came across as being very self-absorbed.
Where was the awakening or the wonder or any kind of growth? It was likely there in the living of it, but never exposed in the writing of it. It was a long-winded billboard saying, "LOOK AT ME! I DID THIS! AND THIS! AND THIS!" I was sincerely hoping for more.
[As I say this, I realize this intensely negative reaction might be in part a result of listening to the self-read audiobook. Just... NO.]
In truth, it took me months to finish this (where usually it takes a day or two to finish an enjoyable book). I kept hoping it would get better... Okay, let's be honest, I have a compulsion to finish books and a hopeful nature which had me grasping for redemption.
I don't doubt she is a lovely woman to know, and may tell a good story in person or in children's books, but this book - one where I'm already inclined to love it because of the subject matter and lifestyle - is not worth the time.
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