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First published October 10, 2018
⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*At Least I Felt Something?*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱
The only believable lies are told by those who convince themselves that they, too, believe in them.
Tonight was a night for too many memories ...
He had never heard his name said that way. With such heartbreak, with such depth of feeling that surely he would drown in it, a powerful current submerging him in the undertow and stealing the air from his lungs ...
Ice shot through Seong-Jae's veins ...
❝You will stay in that bed,❞ Seong-Jae said, ❝until you are dismissed by doctor’s orders.❞
Malcolm’s eyes glittered. ❝Is that an order, Sir?❞
❝You enjoy provoking me with rank far too often, but yes.❞
❝…Los Angeles no longer feels like home.❞
❝No?❞ A smile pulled at Malcolm’s lips, and he couldn’t stop it. ❝You’ll still be back Monday, won’t you?❞
❝Yes.❞
❝I’ll be here.❞
❝I…❞ Seong-Jae trailed off, then muttered a quick ❝Good❞ that only made Malcolm’s grin broaden, before Seong-Jae moved on quickly.
❝The masks people wear when they’ve been so hurt they have to lock everything away aren’t the same as the masks psychopaths wear to function within the cage of social norms, even if they look similar on the surface. I don’t believe you’re a psychopath, Yoon. You’re just struggling to survive.❞
❝Everyone’s fucking nannying me.❞
Seong-Jae glowered at him. ❝You jumped in front of a moving vehicle.❞
❝I didn’t jump. And it wasn’t moving at the time.❞
❝This is going to keep being a thing, isn’t it?❞
❝It helps me to visualize a scenario, and a living person is more useful than an anatomical dummy.❞ Seong-Jae swept him with a once-over. ❝Barely.❞
❝You do say the most flattering things.❞
… ❝Because if the two of you don’t stop acting like assholes, I’m going to knock your heads together. Every fucking crime scene, I gotta watch you dance around each other. It’s giving me a headache. Maybe if you’d just fuck, you’d calm down and do your damned jobs.❞
'He had told himself he would not let himself become dependent on Malcolm, and yet…
He needed advice, in this moment.
But more, he needed that comfort and assurance Malcolm often exuded without even trying.'
here its more ab sj missing mal coz someone jumped in front of a moving vehicle last eps and is on bed rest. wanted more romance bcs no mal = no romance but i liked the fact that we followed sj instead of mal (hes the better pov to follow outta the 2 for me hehe)
“Take this,” he muttered, and turned his face away, glaring across the loft. Was that…a tinge of pink against the gold tinting those high, saber-sharp cheekbones? “My mother would make this for me when I was ill as a child.”
Malcolm slid his glasses back on just in time to catch the pot in both hands. He shifted one hand under it to support it, then lifted the lid and peered inside. Steam escaped, bringing with it warm, delicate aromas—rice, ginger, chicken. Inside, white rice swam in a sort of thick liquid, mixed with shreds of chicken and topped with diced onions, ginger, sprigs of parsley, a few other colorful bits of vegetables.
“What is it?”
“Jook,” Seong-Jae said. “Rice porridge. It is a good thing to eat when your stomach is delicate. Concussions can cause nausea.” Malcolm couldn’t stop the slow smile spreading across his lips. “You made this for me?”
“Shut up,” Seong-Jae snarled, and Malcolm’s smile only widened.
“Yes, sir,” he mocked, but then added, “…thank you.”
“Do not thank me. The sooner you are back on duty, the sooner I am not doing the work of two detectives.”
“If that’s your way of asking how I’m feeling, I’m fine. Not even dizzy. Just a little sore.”
“Tch.”
Malcolm only laughed.
overall i liked the couple but im finding this series so slow? people r saying its addictive for them and they flew through it but it felt slow-paced for me n im annoyed. this was better than the previous one but not really engaging
Seong-Jae skirted around Malcolm, closing in on the door. “I shall take my leave now.”
“Seong-Jae…”
He had never heard his name said that way. With such heartbreak, with such depth of feeling that surely he would drown in it, a powerful current submerging him in its undertow and stealing the air from his lungs—as much as did the touch of a broad hand, capturing his own. Malcolm’s fingers tangled with his, the lightest touch, yet holding him with the strength of iron. He turned back, looking down into a cracked and bleeding gaze that asked the question they had been avoiding in every moment that passed between them.
And suddenly Seong-Jae was afraid of losing more than his ethics, than his moral code, if he gave in.
He shook his head. “No,” he said, and the worl felt like glass shards piercing him. He pulled his hand free, stepping back, struggling to draw breath.
“Malcolm, no, I—”
The door swung open at his back, cutting him off. Gabrielle Leon-Khalaji stepped inside
also, this fucking cockblocker is getting on my nerves. fr get a hotel room or smth wht u doin' staying @ yo ex's house u freeloader
'She leaned over and rested her shoulder companionably against his arm. “You said he said no?”
“I…couldn’t even ask.” He leaned away from her enough to open the refrigerator and put the bowl of icing inside to cool and thicken, then settled at her side once more, leaning his back against the counter and folding his arms over his chest. “I tried, and he said no, and that’s the end of it.” Gabrielle rested her head to his shoulder. Her weight, her scent were a comfort, familiar things that, in this moment, brought up more memories of warmth than pain. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“It’s all right.”
“Mal…” Tentative, hesitant, a ragged edge to his name; she tilted her head back to look up at him, her chin resting to his shoulder, her eyes half lidded, smoky. “I’m not saying no."
dude? stfu
'And Malcolm, in this moment, was weak.'
AND YOU TOO omfgg couldnt keep it in ur pants huh?