Minimizing Quotes

“She's terrified that all these sensations and images are coming out of her — but I think she's even more terrified to find out why." Carla's description was typical of survivors of chronic childhood abuse. Almost always, they deny or minimize the abusive memories. They have to: it's too painful to believe that their parents would do such a thing.”
― David L. Calof

“Carla's description was typical of survivors of chronic childhood abuse. Almost always, they deny or minimize the abusive memories. They have to: it's too painful to believe that their parents would do such a thing. So they fragment the memories into hundreds of shards, leaving only acceptable traces in their conscious minds. Rationalizations like "my childhood was rough," "he only did it to me once or twice," and "it wasn't so bad" are common, masking the fact that the abuse was devastating and chronic. But while the knowledge, body sensations, and feelings are shattered, they are not forgotten. They intrude in unexpected ways: through panic attacks and insomnia, through dreams and artwork, through seemingly inexplicable compulsions, and through the shadowy dread of the abusive parent. They live just outside of consciousness like noisy neighbors who bang on the pipes and occasionally show up at the door.”
― David L. Calof, The Couple Who Became Each Other: Stories of Healing and Transformation from a Leading Hypnotherapist

“Why Is It So Important to Remember?

When you were abused, those around you acted as if it weren’t happening. Since no one else acknowledged the abuse, you sometimes felt that it wasn’t real. Because of this you felt confused. You couldn’t trust your own experience and perceptions. Moreover, others’ denial led you to suppress your memories, thus further obscuring the issue.

You can end your own denial by remembering. Allowing yourself to remember is a way of confirming in your own mind that you didn’t just imagine it. Because the person who abused you did not acknowledge your pain, you may have also thought that perhaps it wasn’t as bad as you felt it was. In order to acknowledge to yourself that it really was that bad, you need to remember as much detail as possible. Because by denying what happened to you, you are doing to yourself exactly what others have done to you in the past: You are negating and denying yourself.”
― Beverly Engel, The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group

“Denial and minimizing is often seen in genuine PTSD and, hence, should be a target of detection and measurement.”
― Harold V. Hall

“Dear Eloisa (said I) there’s no occasion for your crying so much about such a trifle. (for I was willing to make light of it in order to comfort her) I beg you would not mind it – You see it does not vex me in the least; though perhaps I may suffer most from it after all; for I shall not only be obliged to eat up all the Victuals I have dressed already, but must if Henry should recover (which however is not very likely) dress as much for you again; or should he die (as I suppose he will) I shall still have to prepare a Dinner for you whenever you marry any one else. So you see that tho perhaps for the present it may afflict you to think of Henry’s sufferings, yet I dare say he’ll die soon and then his pain will be over and you will be easy, whereas my Trouble will last much longer for work as hard as I may, I am certain that the pantry cannot be cleared in less than a fortnight”
― Jane Austen, Love and Freindship

“Minimizing can be exhilarating. If you continue decluttering, you just might find a zest for life that you didn’t know existed under all that stuff!”
― Lisa J. Shultz, Lighter Living: Declutter. Organize. Simplify.

“Saying a man had sex with a child is like saying a man had dinner with the pork chop.”
― Linda McCarriston

“Who knows what advantages you might find in a smaller home, even beyond what you were initially hoping for, after you move in?
Maybe you'll be inspired to become a more creative person when you take up residence in a quaint older neighborhood and get out of that suburban tract where you can have a house of any color as long as it's beige.
Maybe by putting your preadolescent kids in a bedroom together, they'll socialize better and develop closer bonds.
Maybe you and your spouse will rediscover each other when you're actually spending time together instead of tag-teaming on chores.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“Whatever your motivation for downsizing, you're going to love the benefits that come with this change. Let me highlight a few:
1. More money... in general a smaller home costs less to buy or rent and less to maintain.
2. Less time and energy spent cleaning and maintaining...
3. Better family bonding... A smaller home naturally brings family members into proximity, leading to their having more conversations and doing more things together.
4. Less environmental impact... using less energy and fewer natural resources.
5. Easier perpetuation of your minimalism...
6. Wider market to sell.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“Erik wondered if they saw the irony of such a tiny complex expecting to find the cure from the very lives they minimized in comparison to the whole. If such small, little lives mattered not, how could they believe anything they did would matter?”
― Ellie Lieberman, Solving for X

“A minimizing accelerator: removing duplicates”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“When you think about it, the living and family rooms are the most public places in your private home, aren't they? Here is where you can get together with all the loved ones you live with. Here is where you invite your friends to sit down with you and talk, or have tea, or watch the Super Bowl on television. If you host a club or a church or neighborhood group, it's likely you'll be gathering in one of these rooms. These are your "us" rooms. So minimizing in these rooms immediately starts helping you not only to enjoy the benefits of minimizing yourself but also to share them with others.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“For the most part, these items in storage aren't consumables. They're durable goods that we don't use or even look at very often- and that's a clue right there that many of them are candidates for minimizing.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“Before minimizing your home office, clarify in your own mind how you want it to work. Are you running a business out of there? Is it just for processing the household accounts? Do you want it to be inspirational, encouraging creativity and dreaming, or would you rather keep it sparse and utilitarian? Is it a retreat where you like to read a book or sip a drink- more of a den than a mere office? Is it for the whole family or just the parents?”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“How do you decide which [books] to keep and which to give away?
...Four categories for your books, regardless of which room you keep them in:
- Books you own but have never read and don't realistically expect to read. Don't hold on to them for "someday". Donate them today.
- Books you have read but will never go back to. Donate these too.
- Books that you have read and that have become influential in your life. Keep them...
- Books you have already read and know you will want to return to. Of course, keep these.
Shelves looking better now?”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“Minimizing your garage and yard is likely going to be hard work for you. But at the same time it is going to be rewarding because the yard is on display for you (along with everyone else in the neighborhood as well as your guests) to see, and the garage is probably the first place you encounter when you come home.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“Minimize your kids' playtime possessions and you may find that they become less selfish and less materialistic, cherish more and take better care of the toys they do have, and have more time for reading, writing, art, and imaginative play. They might spend more time with real live human beings. They might even go outdoors!”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“Expect this stage [our storage, hobby, and play areas] of minimizing to stir up emotions and recall memories both sweet and bittersweet. You may encounter old photo albums whose pages you haven't turned in decades, mementos of celebrations long gone by, trophies you formerly sweated to win, personal objects you remember being in the possession of loved ones you've lost, the wedding dress you wore..., the stuffed bunny your daughter fell asleep clutching throughout infancy, and art supplies you once envisioned yourself creating beauty with. The experience at times may warm your heart and at times may fill you with sensations of regret, loss, or failure.
Don't back away from these emotions. Work your way through them. This might be just the opportunity you need to process the past and position yourself better for the future.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“Does the memory associated with an object cause you to smile? Your reaction may show you that you need the object, not for utilitarian purposes, but for purposes of the heart. But then again it may not. Maybe all you need is this one last moment to savor the nostalgic charm that the object inspires. Your life has moved on- maybe it's time for the object to do the same. Remember, just because something made you happy in the past doesn't mean you have to keep it forever.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“... at the same time that getting rid of these reminders of a former or failed avocation will declutter your house, it will most likely help you move on from the past and be ready for new and more rewarding pursuits in the future.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life

“When you've got your devices down to the ideal number, use these tips to minimize them and prevent distractions:
- Remove as many icons from your desktop as possible.
- Uninstall software you don't need.
- Delete unneeded files from your Documents folder. (If you don't want to delete them completely, at least move them to an archive folder so they don't clutter your most-used folder anymore.)
- Develop a simple but logical folder structure so that you can find documents you want easily.
- Unsubscribe to blogs, email newsletters, and advertisements that no longer serve your interests.
- Delete internet bookmarks, cookies, and temporary internet files you no longer need.
- Delete apps you don't need, remembering that if you need them later, you can always download them again. Put only your most crucial apps (such as your calendar and your phone) on your home screen. Put the rest in folders on your second screen.
- Turn off notifications, including social media push notifications and email audio alerts.
- Make sure your spam filters are working.
- Delete photos that are of poor quality or that you don't need.
- Delete unused music and movies.
- Subscribe to a password manager so that you don't have to keep track of a bunch of passwords.”
― Joshua Becker, The Minimalist Home: A Room-by-Room Guide to a Decluttered, Refocused Life