This was a heartbreaking yet incredible read. Calcaterra's childhood makes mine seem like a walk in the park, but she writes with such courage, determThis was a heartbreaking yet incredible read. Calcaterra's childhood makes mine seem like a walk in the park, but she writes with such courage, determination, and honesty that I couldn't put it down. I'd encourage other readers to tread carefully, as there are many descriptions of violent physical, sexual, and mental abuse. Listening to Regina stand up to her mother and fight for her younger siblings was empowering in a world where children are so overlooked. ...more
This book was a page-turner. The first I've read in a while - I could hardly put it down over the past ten days or so it took me to read it.
One thingThis book was a page-turner. The first I've read in a while - I could hardly put it down over the past ten days or so it took me to read it.
One thing this story really drove home for me was that while the experience of growing up with controlling, gaslighting, fundamentalist parents who homeschool and have a lot of children may seem like my story, Tara and I have little in common. I was spared the violence, isolation, and total lack of education that she did. What we shared were small details - a mother obsessed with essential oils, a brother with a cruel temper - but the ending was painfully familiar and difficult to read. Nightmares about running and screaming, trying to escape a maze of the disaster that was our homestead - those I know well.
It gets five stars from me because Tara tells her story with everything she's got, and it is beautifully written. Educated is worth the read no matter your background. ...more
I give this book three stars because the first half far surpassed the second half of the book. When giving profiles of unloving mothers, Forward makesI give this book three stars because the first half far surpassed the second half of the book. When giving profiles of unloving mothers, Forward makes plenty of insightful observations about how harmful these behaviors can be for daughters. In the second half, however, she encourages her patients to memorize lines so they can put up walls to communication, simultaneously leaving no-contact boundaries as a last resort. Her epilogue basically says that if a mother contracts a terminal illness, this could be a good reason to re-initiate contact, even though this is often how mothers get the caregiving they always demanded at the end of life. Her approach is diplomatic and thorough, and she puts in disclaimers for all of my complaints, yet I think it could be a misleading first guide for those recovering from trauma. As Susan reminds her readers many times in the book, read alongside professional help. ...more
This book was a quick read, and I didn't learn much new information from it - the concepts have been thoroughly explored beyond what Miller includes. This book was a quick read, and I didn't learn much new information from it - the concepts have been thoroughly explored beyond what Miller includes. She had some great quotes and anecdotes, but didn't really add to what other books have already said. It's a good introduction for people who are just now exploring the impacts of being a sensitive child who didn't identify abusive or harmful behaviors in their parents. One thing I definitely disliked about the book, though, was that Miller (probably due to the time of publication), often wrote off "sexual perversions" as Freudian reactions to parental abuse. Even in her afterword on the updated edition 30 years later, she makes no effort to update that many psychologists now respect and understand BDSM to be a consensual and conscious outlet. She's not necessarily wrong about the conclusions to be drawn from her anecdotes, but this categorization ends up looking like ignorance of the nuances of her topic....more