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TORN IN TWO: THE EXPERIENCE OF
Can the coexistence of love and hate actually stimulate and sharpen a mother's awareness of what is going on between her and her child? Reversing the conventional psychoanalytic approach, in which maternal ambivalence has been chiefly understood from the point of view of the child, this book gives precedence to the mother's perspective. Rozsika Parker draws on interviews with mothers, clinical material from her practice as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, and a range of literary and popular sources, to create a powerful exploration of maternal ambivalence in a culture painfully and profoundly uneasy at its very existence. Original and accessible, with new readings of the work of Klein, Winnicoot, Bowlby and others, Torn in Two will enrich and change our thinking about mothering.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1995
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
August 11, 2020
While I am glad to have read this, I wish there was a book about the psychological experience of mothering that was not told by a psychologist to other psychologists. It is clear this book was not intended for the lay-person to read. There are too many references to psychologists and the theories in psychoanalysis for a lay-person to follow.
Yet, who is out there to advise a woman who is a mother on the conflicting emotions that arise for her in motherhood BUT a therapist or psychologist?
I am left frustrated and feeling guilt over my personal negative maternal emotions and all the possible ways they can injure my child. Probably not the intention of the author, of course.
Again, an important book that talks about taboo subject matter. But hard to read.
Yet, who is out there to advise a woman who is a mother on the conflicting emotions that arise for her in motherhood BUT a therapist or psychologist?
I am left frustrated and feeling guilt over my personal negative maternal emotions and all the possible ways they can injure my child. Probably not the intention of the author, of course.
Again, an important book that talks about taboo subject matter. But hard to read.
March 4, 2022
Such a great topic that is sorely in need of covering in the culture. But man was this a boring read. Heater 7 and 8 were worth it though.
April 10, 2022
Really enjoyed Rozsika's use of multiple sources - psychoanalytic, feminist and literary theories, as well as popular culture - in her exploration of maternal ambivalence. Main takeaways for me (particularly as a parent-infant psychotherapist): that maternal ambivalence is inherent to the developmental phase of motherhood, and that it can either be 'manageable' or 'unmanageable'; that 'manageable' maternal ambivalence serves a crucial function in promoting the mother's capacity to think about their baby's experience, and generating the motivation and creativity that is essential for healthy growth towards individuation within the mother-child relationship; and that the broader society's unease with acknowledging maternal ambivalence as a normal phenomenon makes it difficult for mothers to accept and effectively manage their own maternal ambivalence. The discussion around internal and external forces that might contribute to the experience of maternal ambivalence that is 'unmanageable', and the defences that might arise out of this, was also enlightening.
I recommend this read to psychotherapists working with mothers and/or young children, as well people interested in discourses around motherhood.
I recommend this read to psychotherapists working with mothers and/or young children, as well people interested in discourses around motherhood.
February 4, 2016
some great information and reflection in here but a slog to get through. I was frequently bored and would have preferred a simple synopsis to reading the entire book.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews