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How to Love

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Reena Montero has loved Sawyer LeGrande for as long as she can remember: as natural as breathing, as endless as time. But he's never seemed to notice Reena exists until one day, impossibly, he does. The two fall in messy, complicated love—but then Sawyer disappears from their humid Florida town without a word, leaving a devastated—and pregnant—Reena behind.

Three years later there's a new love in Reena's life: her daughter, Hannah. Reena's gotten used to being without Sawyer, and she's finally getting the hang of this strange, unexpected life. But just as suddenly as he disappeared Sawyer returns. Reena doesn't want anything to do with him, though she'd be lying if she said his being back wasn't stirring something in her. After everything that's happened, can Reena let herself love Sawyer LeGrande again?

389 pages, Hardcover

First published October 1, 2013

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About the author

Katie Cotugno

19 books2,313 followers
Katie Cotugno is the New York Times bestselling author of seven messy, complicated feminist YA love stories, as well as the adult novel Birds of California (Harper Perennial, 2022). She is also the co-author, with Candace Bushnell, of Rules for Being a Girl. Her books have been honored by the Junior Library Guild, the Bank Street Children’s Book Committee, and the Kentucky Association of School Librarians, among others, and translated into more than fifteen languages. Katie is a Pushcart Prize nominee whose work has appeared in The Iowa Review, The Mississippi Review, and Argestes, as well as many other literary magazines. She studied Writing, Literature and Publishing at Emerson College and received her MFA in Fiction at Lesley University. She lives in Boston with her family.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,461 reviews
Profile Image for Maditales.
611 reviews32.5k followers
September 17, 2023
She threw everything away for a guy that cheated on his gf… but then, she cheated on her boyfriend as well so maybe cheaters love each other.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for jessica.
2,591 reviews45k followers
September 12, 2020
ohhhh this book has so much potential to be a real heartbreaker, but sadly, its just not quite up for the job.

its strength is not shying away from difficult topics that teens do have to deal with - pressure to go to college, pregnancy, drugs, underage drinking, peer pressure, etc. quite often YA stories feature picturesque teens as they are a little easier to read about, but this story is frustrating, messy, and real. and i think it could have had a great impact if there was more character development.

both sawyer and reena feel shallow. sawyer acts out and its never explained why. reena is a teen mom but the baby is never talked about unless shes in the same place as reena. i also have no idea what connects the two or why they even like each other. if anything, it seems like a very unhealthy relationship, but thats because theres no depth to them beyond their stereotypes.

even though i was disappointed by the characters, i did like the writing, specifically the dialogue. it feels very natural and flows well. so its too bad that the story feels a little to big for itself.

3 stars
Profile Image for Wendy Darling.
1,926 reviews34.3k followers
February 4, 2016
I think a large part of whether this book works for you may rely on whether you find Sawyer LeGrande charming. And I do not.

And while I'm prone to be pretty forgiving with girls who don't always make smart choices, I was constantly frustrated with Reena, too. Make him work for it, honey. And it is NOT OKAY to (repeatedly) act in a way that is hurtful to other people, particularly if you know what it's like to be hurt yourself.

I'm surprised at how negatively I feel about this one, given the sea of 5 star reviews. There were also a few moments conveniently timed for maximum drama, which felt somewhat soapy. Appreciated the way her relationship with her daughter was portrayed, though, as well as with Shelby and Soledad and her father. Is the book well-crafted? Mostly. Realistic? Yes. Personally enjoyable for me? Not really. But many others have loved it, so take my reaction with a grain of salt.
Profile Image for Aj the Ravenous Reader.
1,107 reviews1,157 followers
July 16, 2024
Reread on July 16, 2024

There's a special kind of comfort rereading a YA contemporary I loved eight years ago. It brought a lot of positive memories, it brought me back to a time when things were quite easy and simple and all I would look forward to during weekends after work was a nice, quiet time at home reading a good book after my chores. It might have been nice if it rained a little and I would make myself a mug of coffee and a plate of cookies. Aaaahhh, nostalgia!

I could never do that again with little boys at home. I only get to read at work now and on the bus during the commute and when my boys are already asleep. This isn't me complaining though. This is me (despite a tad bit of bitterness) being thankful for my kids and family. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's just nice to remember those easy moments when I was younger and I guess that's just how powerful memories are and how even more powerful reading is.

I think How to Love will always be one of my favorite books of all time. I loved this even more the second time around. I honestly thought I am way past the age of young adults making me swoon but I guess not. Swooning aside, the plot is really good. The writing even better.

I find Serena very relatable like she could be me when I was that age and I could easily imagine what might have happened if I had the same fate. The story and the dialogue elicited so much emotions. Anyone who can raise a little kid on her own despite being a kid herself and still be a decent person is the best human being in my opinion and Serena was exactly that, although I am not encouraging anyone to go and have a kid while you're still a kid, okay? I'm just saying that I love how Serena took full responsibility over her actions and I have to give Sawyer some respect because, he too, took responsibility over his actions. It might have taken him a while but what matters is he came through. Ooopppss! Sorry about the long, messy review. I seem to have a lot to say these days.


First Read on June 6, 2016

This book sucks big time! It made me say the words “dumb” and “stupid” in several places and several times. It made me shake my head so hard, it felt like it was going to come off. It broke my heart. It made me shed tears and in the end it made me grin-this goofy grin. And that’s why it sucks because it made me feel all these emotions I wasn’t planning on feeling and in my vocabulary, when a book does that to you, it’s definitely good!

I know you probably peg me for an angsty reader and you probably think that I should change my GR name into Aj the Angsty Reader but there is a limit to the level of angst I could take on. If it’s too much, you know I’d give up my principle and dnf it without second thought. This debut novel however, has just the exact amount of angst to make it realistic and plausible, to make the reader empathize with the characters and their problematic situations.

I wouldn’t delve too much into the plot of the story because I’d like for you to go in the book blind and go with it as it flows. One thing’s for sure though, the writer has this easy way of luring you into her writing and into her characters making it hard for you to put down the book. I read it in one day, actually. The narrative shifts between a “Before” and an “After” and I was equally hooked by both narratives. Even though I disagree with a lot of the MC's actions and choices, this is such an addictive and intriguing read and I couldn’t turn the pages fast enough.
Profile Image for aimee (aimeecanread).
578 reviews2,584 followers
December 8, 2014


***Warning, this rant will contain spoilers for How to Love and some angry GIFs. A very incoherent rant will be coming your way.

This was me when I finally got to buy this book since there was a sale at our local bookstore:



But then, I realized something as the book went on. The title of this book--yeah, it doesn't work. At all. Instead of How to Love, I strongly believe this boos should be entitled How to Cheat and Be a Whiny Little Girl.

See, in both the "before" and "after" timelines, Reena ends up cheating with Sawyer.



Cheating is a pretty timely issue that good books should be able to deal with, but I completely hate it when it nobody tries to fix what they did wrong! You people are technically adults (in the "after" timeline) and you have a kid. At least try to be decent people!

Reena. Dammit, this girl CANNOT do anything for herself. She was a ditzy, flat, passive heroine and I wanted to shove her off a cliff. Let's take this aspect for example: Reena says she won't forgive Sawyer for leaving her, and LO AND BEHOLD, a few dinner invites later, they're kissing (and cheating on Reena's boyfriend)!



Reena was also a useless friend. She lied to the people she called her "best friends" so often that you might even question your relationships with your friends afterwards. I hated how horribly the aspect of friendship was played out here. It was also unbelievable how easily her best friend forgave her for what she did. I mean, just imagine YOUR best friend cheating on YOUR big brother!

And let's talk Sawyer. See, this guy is an ass. None of his reasons for doing his stupid shit made any sense. His character and his character's motives were in no way realistic. The swoon-worthy, gentle hero I was hoping for was nowhere to be seen in this book.

Just in case you were wondering, this is what I did right after reading the book:


Profile Image for Ashley.
667 reviews793 followers
July 17, 2013
Nose Graze — Young Adult book reviews

How to Love could have easily been a 4—or maybe even 5—star book, but there was one massive problem: Sawyer. Sawyer literally stole those stars one by one. POOF! GONE! He just chipped away at them every time he pulled a dickhead move that made me want to pummel his face in with rocks.

How to Love started out pretty strong for me. I had kind of a morbid interest in it, very similar to My Life After Now by Jessica Verdi. Teenage pregnancy? I was curious. I wanted all the details; I wanted to know exactly how/when/why it happened. But FYI, they never actually tell us how she got pregnant. NEVER. That's what I wanted to know. We don't know when it happened, or if they used a condom or not. All we know is that she woke up with morning sickness one day.

At first, I could really relate to Reena. She was the girl who loved quiet summers playing card games and hanging out with her best friend. But all around her, people were "moving on". She lost her best friend to the drinking and partying scene. I could totally relate. Reena just wanted things to be the way they always were; she didn't want things to change. She wasn't interested in partying or any of that.

I wasn't shy, exactly. That's never what it was. I just didn't know how to do this, is all, the clang and chatter of high school.

I had no friends in tenth grade. Okay, that's dramatic. I had friends. I didn't eat lunch alone on a toilet seat or anything. Mostly, I just didn't eat lunch. I went to the library.


THAT WAS ME!!! I could totally relate.

But everything went to the dogs as soon as Sawyer stepped on the scene...

I feel like we were supposed to love Sawyer despite his faults. He was supposed to be the "bad boy" in high school who made mistakes, but then comes back and redeems himself. But I felt like I never had a reason to like Sawyer or forgive him, but I had so many reasons to hate him. Sawyer was not a nice guy. He was constantly drunk, on drugs, flirting with other girls, and dragging Reena to parties. Reena obviously hated parties, but she went along with him. And while he was out popping pills and getting drunk and hitting it up with other girls, she was hiding out in the kitchen desperately wanting to go home. EVERY TIME.

"We'll just stop by for a minute," he always said before we got there, but in the end a minute usually took an hour or more.

I didn't want to, was the problem, and so I sat on the counter in any number of kitchens, drinking warm bear out of a red plastic cup and watching the minutes go by on the digital clock on the microwave, hoping no one said anything to me as they moved through the room, and wishing I was home watching reruns with Soledad. [..] Once, I brought a book and hid in the pantry to read it.


But you know what? She always gave in. She always continued to go with him, even if she really didn't want to, and hid in pantries when she got there. So I slowly started to lose sympathy for her. How can I sympathize with a girl who puts herself through this crap? She could have told Sawyer she didn't want to go. She could have dumped his pathetic, druggie ass. But no, she didn't. She complains and fights with him, but she never breaks up with him. WHY??? As far as I saw, he had exactly zero redeeming qualities. He never had "nice" or "sweet" moments. He was always a royal jackass.

And when , Sawyer wanted to take her out on a nice date to celebrate... But guess what... he said they had to make "a little stop" on the way.. SO HE COULD MEET WITH HIS DRUG DEALER!! And he freaking brought her along. What a dick move. That's not a date.

And in an "after" chapter, when Reena finally confronted Sawyer for leaving her without even saying goodbye, guess what he said? He actually had the balls to try to pin it on her.

"You know, what I love about all this is how conveniently you forgot that you were on your way out, too, when I left. You told me every day."


He's basically saying it's okay that he left her, because she was planning on leaving anyway... TO GO TO COLLEGE!!! That does not give him the right to just walk out without even saying goodbye. And Reena even forgives him for that because

Long story short, Sawyer was a huge huge huge jerk, and he never did anything to make me like him. He never did nice things for Reena, he never had sweet moments. He was always high out of his mind or drunk or having sex with her. This is going to sound so "disapproving parent" of me, but he was a bad influence. He was encouraging her to do drugs and skip class. And I know some teenagers are like that, but the key thing here is that Reena didn't want to do those things, and yet he kept pressuring her to. There was never a reason for Reena to like him.. she just did. It was pure lust, as far as I'm concerned. And on top of that, she had a great guy in the "after" chapters, but she ditched him to go running back to Sawyer. Why???

As Sawyer became more and more of a dick, he knocked stars off my rating. As Reena kept running back to him, I lost sympathy for her. At first I felt bad for her because Sawyer ran out on her... but now... honestly.... she kind of had it coming. She stayed with this guy when he was nothing but disrespectful to her. He was always a flaky boyfriend, so it's no surprising that he just up and left one day.

I feel like How to Love has all the makings of a really good book. It's well written, I like the alternating "before" and "after" chapters, and it's an interesting story. But it is completely ruined by Sawyer. He was a horrible character and slowly made me detest the book. And since Reena kept running back to him, I started to detest her as well. She also had this really annoying habit of raging at Sawyer for being a dick, and then when he'd say "What's wrong? Are you mad?" she'd lie and say nothing was wrong. So he'd be out flirting with other girls, she'd start acting bitchy towards him, he'd ask what the problem was, and she'd say NOTHING. She just let everything go and never stood up for herself.

If, somehow, you don't detest Sawyer, then I think it's really easy to love this book. But if you get as annoyed with his horrible doucheyness as I did, then it's kind of a book-ruiner. The problem is that How to Love is ALL about the romance and loving and all that, but when you have a horrible love interest, that just makes the book painful to read.
Profile Image for Whitney Atkinson.
1,020 reviews13k followers
June 28, 2015
3.5 stars

It's so hard for me to collect my thoughts about this book. I nearly unhauled this and at this point, I'm unable to determine if whether I should have or not. I kept this because I've never read a book on teen pregnancy before, and I really wanted to try this. I fell in love with the writing of this book. Katie Cotugno isn't necessarily the most brilliant writer, but she makes such clever analogies and her sentences flow so well that I was really rather impressed. And usually I hate now-and-then perspectives, but I actually felt like the Before and After layout of this book was done really well and I was never bored with one chapter or the other. These two factors by themselves, combined with the fact that I was genuinely enjoying the storyline at first, would have made it a five star book for me. But very quickly, I found myself really disliking Sawyer. And he, along with the negativity he brought into this book, is really what brought it down for me. He was a complete jerk and still expected to be loved, which I didn't agree with. There was so much angst--too much angst-- in the relationship between Sawyer and Reena that I was so exasperated and wished she would just dump him for good. Reena has a boyfriend in the "After" chapters, and I hated how Sawyer came onto her even though he knew that she was in a relationship. How he cruelly demanded that Reena tell him she loved him. I just never understood him or his motives or his personality, and since the book literally centers around their relationship, I found myself growing detached.

Overall, this book was just an experience. I think it's really important because it handles the topic of teen pregnancy well. So well, that I was extremely uncomfortable reading this book at times. Not because it was graphic, but just because I was able to put myself in Reena's shoes for a moment and imagining myself in her situation was horrible. This book made me feel so vulnerable and gross, and I'm kind of impressed that it brought out that reaction in me. Putting this down, I seriously feel more concerned about making meaningful relationships and being responsible within those relationships. I can only imagine other teens reading this and feeling the same way; hopefully it touched someone to be able to see and understand how rough being a young mom is. It certainly enlightened me about the topic, and I'm left feeling grateful that I'm in a family of people who support me and that i'm single af and don't have to worry about Reena's situation happening to me.
Profile Image for Gillian.
456 reviews1,122 followers
Read
December 6, 2017
Rating: I am SO VERY CONFLICTED ABOUT THIS BOOK. Honestly, getting my thoughts in any kind of order seems to be impossible. It's almost like I hated and loved this book in equal measure. In the end, I feel like the strengths of this book are so strong that they outweighed the negatives. The first half of this book is sensational. The second half made me mildly crabby.



In an effort to make my thoughts more orderly, I'm going to impose some order on this review.

I loved: The writing. How to Love is written in first person from Reena's POV, and Reena is sharp and funny and observant. It was really easy to slip into the story and feel everything she was feeling. She's got a really great voice. And the narrative technique used was really interesting. There were two story threads--the Before, when Reena is in high school and Sawyer LeGrande is there, and the After, two years later when Sawyer LeGrande returns. I was surprised by how completely invested I was in the story, reading it nearly straight thought. Before tells the story of Reena and Sawyer falling in love and coming together, while the After starts with Reena, who has accepted her new life, dealing with the fact that the prodigal Sawyer is back in her life. The Before and After style created tiny mysteries that linked up really nicely, with the present echoing the past in nicely heartbreaking ways.

I hated: Sawyer. Perhaps hate is a strong word. He's got a couple of swoony moments (loved Sawyer and Rina's talk on the swingset--I totally got the Sawyer Swoon there) , and I kind of understood him as a character. His parents expect a certain life out of him, a life he doesn't want to lead. He's not a bad guy, really, but he's utterly dysfunctional, and I thought it was pretty criminal the way he dragged Reena into his dysfunctionality. Sawyer is a couple of years older than Reena, and is the child of Reena's parents closest friends. They've grown up together, and Reena's been in love with him since nearly the beginning. (Why, beyond the fact that he's extraordinarily handsome, I'm not completely sure.) Then Saywer starts dating Reena's best friend, and for me, the Sawyer-appeal began to dissipate somewhat.

I loved: Reena. I totally got this girl. She is the Good Catholic Daughter, the high achiever, the one nobody thought in a million years would get pregnant. She plays it pretty close to the vest, which is something I can relate to, doing everything she can not to make her true feelings about things known. Her family has been magnificently unfair to her, but she loves her daughter, Hannah, with all her heart. Before Hannah, she wanted to be a travel writer and go to Northwestern and see the bigger world outside her small Florida town. This book immerses us really well in Reena's mind, showing us her true desires and feelings. And because of all that, I would have loved this book if it hadn't been for the next point.

I hated: Sawyer + Reena. It seemed like every single time Sayer and Reena interacted, he did something to hurt her. My particular favorite Sawyer moment was the first time they slept together (not a spoiler, they have a child), which happened to be the first time Reena had ever slept with anybody, and then Sawyer didn't call her. Or see her. For, like, three months. And then never apologized. He had other issues goes on, I got that, but I never thought Sawyer reached the right level of contrition for all the enormous harm he'd done to Reena (not just the pregancy thing. Admittedly, he didn't know Reena was pregnant when he took off, but he still took off). There's the time Sawyer pressures her to skip school. To betray her best friend. Let's not even mention what he does the night Reena gets into college.

I mean, I was basically rooting for girlfriend to



All of the really bad stuff is Before Sawyer. And Before Sawyer is not a healthy Sawyer. After Sawyer is way swoonier and way more put together, and I could have worked with this. I MUCH PREFERRED After Sawyer. I almost really, really liked him. But again... he didn't seem sorry enough! He just kind of waltzed back into town and was all offended that Reena was so mad at him. And I just wanted to scream "YOU ARE LUCKY YOU STILL HAVE ALL YOUR TOES, BUDDY, BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT."

Blegh. I'm sorry, guys. I just didn't feel this romance. Shelby, Reena's awesomesauce best friend, said it best that self-sufficient Reena forgets how "bad-ass" she is whenever Sayer, who done her wrong, turns his big emerald eyes on her. BLEGH.

I loved: Everything else. The narrative technique, the way Cotugno portrayed family dynamics, and the particular family dynamics of a high-achieving Catholic teenager getting pregnant at sixteen. Extra points for a loving stepmother, minus points for a mostly invisible brother, a bajillion points for Shelby the awesome-- if judgmental--lesbian best friend who tries to tell Reena to GET A GRIP. I loved the scene where Reena finally lets out all the feelings she's been keeping inside since she got pregnant, basically letting her father and Sawyer's parents have it (now if only she'd done this to Sawyer too).

Most people are really going to love this book. It has a lot going for it, and I will definitely read whatever Cotugno writes next. I truly loved her writing. But when you read a love story and can't truly invest in, well, the love story part, there's no way you can give that book all the stars. I'm pretty bummed about it. With a few tweaks, this could have been one of my favorite reads of the year. I was totally engrossed in it, and the characters were vivid, and it was equal parts funny and heartbreaking (even a tad melodramatic). I recommend giving it a shot, if only so we can have conversations about stomping on Sawyer LeGrande's feet.
Profile Image for Heather.
417 reviews16.5k followers
November 6, 2017
I did not expect to like this book as much as I did. It was gripping and adorable. The characters were definitely very flawed but I still enjoyed it none the less.
Profile Image for Joce (squibblesreads).
253 reviews4,828 followers
Read
December 31, 2017
Teens making out against a wall. Character makes joke about terrorists. Then asks another character "are you one of those people who are really sensitive about terrorist jokes?"
The scene was pretty much left at that. I tried to continue but I'll cool it w books w privileged characters that make offhand remarks about terrorism with not a smidgen of recourse either directly or indirectly. Hard pass.
Edit: I read a tiny bit more and it doesn't seem as though this character is made out to be villainous, ignorant, or unaware. The person she was talking to was our protagonist who I believe is written to be sympathetic, and the remark was a device to amplify the protagonist's "sensitivity" to seeing the characters making out, which I believe makes it even more harmful.

Edit again: Finished this so people wouldn’t come at me for not finishing it when I include it in a list in an upcoming video. Wasn’t worth it.
Profile Image for Sandee is Reading.
684 reviews1,269 followers
January 9, 2015


REACTION AFTER READING THE BOOK

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

The end made me so damn happy for Reena and Sawyer.

This book was not perfect. It has some shortcomings, but personally I thought this book was great. I think it dealt with the topic of teenage pregnancy realistically. I should know because I have been in that situation. I have been Reena at some point in my life, and I could definitely say that most of the situations Reena went through in this book was accurate.

I've read a couple of negative reviews about this book and they were complaining about Sawyer being a douchebag. And I agree, he is a douchebag. But that's the entire point of the Before and After POVs from Reena. You get to see the "what happened" and the "why he left" and also the "how different is he now".

But I'm not going to elaborate on that now. Let's start with the gist first.

HOW IT STARTS

I've been looking for Sawyer for half a lifetime when I find him standing in front of the Slurpee machine at the 7-Eleven on Federal Highway, gazing through the window at the frozen, neon-bright churning like he's expecting the mysteries of the universe to be revealed to him from inside.


THE GIST

Reena and Sawyer practically grew up together. Their families are basically one family, because of a joint business their parents have. Reena always liked Sawyer, but she has always been too scared to act on those feelings. So she just let it go.

Reena had a bright future ahead of her. She was smart and very studious. She was taking advanced classes and is actually about to graduate earlier than she should be. But what she wasn't expecting was being with Sawyer. And being with Sawyer was not what she expected. It was good, for the most part, but there were other things that she did not know about Sawyer that she had to accept, because she likes him.

So... the thing happened. You guys know what I mean. Right?

Yeah so it happened and well she got pregnant at 16.

And Sawyer.

He left. Without saying a word.

MEET THE CHARACTERS

Reena

Serena or Reena is a great character. She made some mistakes, but that's all part of life isn't it? And that's what made this book great. The characters were flawed and imperfect. You don't go into a teenage pregnancy book and think that the main character is a Mary Sue. No that does not happen. These kids obviously did something stupid and immature, hence why this is a teenage pregnancy book and not just your typical romance book.

I read a few reviews saying that she was well immature and all that stuff. She's not. She's actually more mature and independent than I was when I got pregnant. I got pregnant when I was eighteen and a mom at 19. I was an adult. But to be honest, she handled things pretty well on her own than I did. I was a mess. I was crap. I was useless. And that's the reality of being a teenage mom. There were times that she made crappy decisions like with Aaron, but give her a break. People makes mistakes, not just people who got pregnant early whose baby daddy comes back and now they don't know what to do. That also happens to people who doesn't have kids. Let's not be too judgemental.

Although, there are a lot of things that happened to Reena that didn't happen to me, I still connected to her in a deeper level than I was ready for. I cried, especially on the confrontation scene with her Dad. That was just... me. It was like that was me. And it did happen to me too so... I guess that's why that made me cry.

Sawyer

Now this dude is a dick. I agree. He had some stupid decisions. He's done stuff he shouldn't have. He treated Reena like crap on some occasions. But he is not a bad person. On the before POVs that is. If you've read the after POVs closely, you'll get why he left. I actually like the transitions of the Before and After POVs because it explains what is happening in the present. And it totally made sense for him to leave.

Do you guys want to know what type of guy is real douchebag? THE ONE WHO LEAVES, DOESN'T SAY GOODBYE AND DOESN'T RETURN OR THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU GOT PREGNANT BUT LEAVES ANYWAYS WITHOUT EVEN A CARE. And Sawyer wasn't either of those. He left, that's true, but he had a very valid reason. I should know.

I like Sawyer. I really do. He's just one of those kids who is so pressured into doing everything right, that he is intentionally doing things wrong. I could relate to that too. Although, I don't do drugs and all that crappy crap, but the pressure of doing what your expected to do is pretty heavy especially when you as a person would like to do something else. And that is what Sawyer's burden was.

Also, people change. And I liked seeing that with Sawyer's character. You'll see the contrast of who he was then and who he was currently. I thought his character was pretty well played.

The Parents

I felt that Katie also made it a point to include the conflic these two had with their parents and I really liked that. I would have to say that both of their parents were crap, but happy that Reena's father at least was able to redeem themselves.

THE ROMANCE

It was very well played for me. I felt that it was not perfect but it was good. Reena and Sawyer obviously really liked each other. There were just some situations that stood in the way which prevented them from being together earlier and letting Allie (Reena's no good friend) having Sawyer first.

But I don't want to talk about that. I want to emphasize on the fact that they were responsible people that has feelings. If Sawyer knew, I think he wouldn't have left. I honestly don't understand how people could think that just because someone hurts you, you can shut down all your feelings for that person. You can't!!! Especially not when you share something as important as a kid. You can hate him/her at some point, but at the end of the day, you shared something special with that person and you can't hate them forever. And Reena did not forget that. She made it so clear to Sawyer that she was not okay with him being back a couple of times.

"You can't just come here after all this time and try to joke around with me and act like nother happened. That's not - Stuff happene, Sawyer. You can't just be back.


And it was hard for Reena. You'll see her struggle about her conflicted feelings. Aaron was easy and Sawyer was complicated. She could just stay with Aaron, but will that make her completely happy? Will it be okay for her to stay on the safe side and not risk the chance of her having a complete family and be happy? Will you?

And Sawyer, I think I'm going to spoil you guys a bit, didn't know Reena was pregnant okay? He didn't fucking know. My douchebag of an ex-bf did know. And you know what? He left anyways. That's my basis of douchebaggery. So forgive me if I don't think Sawyer is a big douchebag. He is far from it. He's just a person who made lots of crazy mistakes that he is currently trying to ammend.

So do I think Sawyer and Reena should be together? Yes. Why? Well because they didn't split up because they wanted to anyways. They still had feelings for each other so there's really no reason why they couldn't work that out to have a complete family with their baby Hannah.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I loved this book so much and happy that I read it first. It is not for everyone I get it, but luckily it was for me. I get all those things that happened to Reena and I think that's why I loved it more than I should have.

This book was about love, mistakes, and making up for those mistakes. It's about forgiveness. Trust. Family. There were a lot of good points on this book that really touched me. The characters all had their own struggles and demons to face.

How to love is not only about loving a significant other. It's about loving your parents, your daughter, your friend. And I totally loved that. So much love. It reminded me of If I Stay by Gale Forman in some ways because of the different types of love that was shown in this book. I thought the plot twists were just placed at the right times.

This book made me real emotional. Emotional in a way that was good. I liked reading about people owning up to their mistakes and correcting their paths. Reena may have not been in the college of her choice, but at least she is still making something out of her life. And that goes with Sawyer too. That's why he came back.

Fresh start. And I think everyone deserves that.
Profile Image for Jaime Arkin.
1,441 reviews1,370 followers
September 29, 2014
I seriously have started and stopped writing this review about 4 times. I'm sucking it up now and completing it though.

Every once in a while I read a book that totally exceeds anything I was expecting… a book that leaves you practically speechless with how incredibly it is written and the story it tells. That is what How To Love was for me. I’m not entirely sure what I can say about this book right now, so forgive me if none of this makes a bit of sense.

First of all, it’s told in a wonderfully unique way. You get the before and after. Before and after what you ask? Well, before and after the whirlwind that is Sawyer LeGrande.

Reena has loved Sawyer LeGrande for what seems like ever. She and her best friend Allie have watched and daydreamed about him forever. Sawyer, who is a few years older than them, has never seemed to notice. Until he does. Only it’s not Reena who captures his attention it seems. So when she loses her best friend over a stupid fight she focuses instead on her dreams. Graduating from high school a year early and getting early admittance to Northwestern are her big focus. She has dreams of traveling the world and becoming a travel writer and she knows she will succeed.

Then something devastating happens… she loses the friend she never had the chance to make amends with. And then she finds herself pulled into Sawyer’s crazy life, and Sawyer isn’t exactly the perfect person she’s created in her mind. Six months later, he’s gone and she’s now trapped in a life she didn’t want or see for herself… her dreams of leaving and making something of herself down the drain.

Almost three years later, Reena has accepted her new life, and while Sawyer disappeared without a word, she finds herself in a new relationship with that of her daughter Hannah. Only, things of course can’t be easy. She feels as though her father hates her. Raised in a very Catholic household, the news that she was pregnant was not one of celebration. But Reena has taken each hit and every disappointment in stride, hiding her anger and sadness in order to keep the peace. Sawyer’s parents who were once staples in her life have basically disappeared.

Suddenly, Sawyer is back and she isn’t sure how to handle it. To say she has mixed feelings would be an understatement.

AND That’s kind of all I want to tell you about the plot.

So let’s talk about the things I fell in love with.

Reena. This girl had me feeling every single damn thing. But I think what I loved most about her was that yes, this thing happens but instead of letting it ruin her, she is strong and she is determined and she is in love with this unexpected gift. I loved that even though she was so young, and believe me, she at times acted her age, but when she HAD to grow up... she did. And she did it with so much determination.

Sawyer... man I really wanted to dislike him. I mean the way he's portrayed and the things he does. *I'm shaking my head right now* BUT I couldn't. Cotugno writes him in a way that while yes, at times I was angry with him, you also can't help but have a soft spot for him. As the chapters progress and his own story unfolds, I found my opinion of him changing. Things aren't always as they seem on the outside.

"Nothing about you, my dear, has ever been lost on me." <---I Love this quote from him.

Shelby is the kind of best friend that every person needs in their lives and I absolutely love that we aren't subjected to the best friend who turns mean girl in this one. She stood by Serena through everything ... and I mean everything. And I loved her for it. Even Allie was written as a wonderful best friend and I love seeing this in YA. (Not every girl has an inner mean girl!)

The story itself is just beautifully written in my opinion. Cotugno has created these incredibly flawed and realistic characters that you just can't help but fall for. I experienced all the emotions possible while reading this... tears, laughs, frustration, anger and yes even some swoons, and the writing style was perfect.

Sometimes I feel that people go into every single book expecting non-stop action and adventure which is fine... but this isn't that. This is one of those stories that has a gentle telling, a soft sort of true to life calm about it. It's compelling and beautiful and also a little bit heartbreaking... with an ending that had me smiling like an idiot.

I can't recommend this book enough, it's quickly moved up to all-time favorite status.

Thank you to Harpercollins and Edelweiss for the advance copy for review.

This review can be found on my blog, Fic Fare:
Profile Image for emma.
2,247 reviews74.2k followers
December 3, 2021
i read this book 7 years ago, and i don't remember a single thing about it except an overall aura of hate.

that's pretty impressive.

part of a series i'm doing in which i review books i read a long time ago. and am very eloquent
Profile Image for Giselle.
1,081 reviews903 followers
November 27, 2016
I'm sorry if this comes out as a rant.. You have been warned..

Nothing really happens exactly..It's just day to day mundane things except at the end there was a bit of drama. There's no hook to keep you reading. I pushed this aside twice and picked it up again just so I can find out if he changes. There are chapters of her going to the mall and shopping and cooking food. It's super mundane and utterly boring. I also don't like the Before and After chapters because it breaks the momentum of whatever happened.

I dislike Sawyer soo much. Reena is supposed to be this smart girl but she keeps going back for more. She keeps putting up with his crap. Not only during the Before, but also with the After. Thought she learned her lesson? And the moment when we find out happens with Allie and Sawyer? Is this supposed to be the reason why he was acting out the entire time? I thought he was already a jerk before that. Then there's the sweet and steady Aaron who wants her. Yet she wants the bad-boy Sawyer. Every time he would smirk I wanted to punch him. Ughhh I did not like him at all. He's probably one of the worst YA boyfriends I've read about. Did I miss something??? Wasn't this supposed to be some epic love story? I found it to be more like lust!? I didn't find anything remotely interesting or passionate about these two. I'm sorely disappointed.. *sighs*

I'm guessing there was supposed to be so much more than just romantic love, but also family and friendship love. But again I didn't find any of that. Her best friend Shelby keeps forgiving her for things and she didn't even reach out to her. Talk about no effort. And obviously coming from a strict Catholic family she would have trouble being sixteen and pregnant, but good God she did not handle it well. Blowing up at her father that way. That's pretty disrespectful to do to your parent. I wished there was more of an emphasis about how terrified she would be of having this baby at her age, and how her faith could help or destroy her. Yet there wasn't any of that. It was all Sawyer goggles from then on.

I'm so sad I didn't like this..It's always hard to like a book when you dislike the characters.. Maybe someone else will have better luck than I did?

RATING 2/5

QUOTES

Why did you only love me when I was good? (256)

I could t figure out how he could make me so happy and so miserable all at once. (308)
Profile Image for Rachel Maniacup.
153 reviews88 followers
June 18, 2016
This is my first book of Katie Catugno,and I must say that this author is a talented writer because she writes beautifully..I just didn't like the story line because it didn't much portrayed what the title says(and it's the title that captivated me into reading this). I'm not being judgmental but I guess,I have high hopes and expectations when it comes to contemporary. I thought,the story would flow similarly to "Before We Were Strangers" or something like the "First Comes Love"series-these are stories that show us how to really love someone may that be a friend,family,a career,or a lover,and how they are all blended or connected for better or worse.

And though I didn't like this much,I had to admit that I found this a refreshing read,because there were parts that I adored in the story. One of them is the way Reena, the female MC, handled being a single parent from pregnancy to raising her baby all by herself. She is one tough young lady who suffered a lot of emotions,because of her obsession/love to Sawyer,the father of her baby, Hannah.

The author is absolutely a master of playing reader's emotions,'cause I did cry several times in this book.So,yeah..I'm definitely looking forward to more of Catugno's novels..
Many thanks to my dear little sister,who is always so kind of lending me her books.You may also check her wonderful review on this,which she enjoyed more than I did.^^
Profile Image for Heather.
316 reviews293 followers
March 16, 2017
4 stars
Review to come


OMG you guys! This book totally cured my slump! Absolutely surprised at how good this one was! I really only have one rant (but it's sort of a big one) and tbh it's mostly personal preference (but it's keeping me from giving this 5 stars). I definitely recommend this book to the contemporary lovers out there! <3
Profile Image for Katy.
611 reviews330 followers
May 26, 2013
Okay, so this wasn't the light, cute, fun read I was looking for, but wow, this book was pretty good. What a great story that realistically portrays a situation that happens all-too-often in a way that captures your heart.

The reason I liked this story so much was because it wasn't about a girl in a rough or trashy neighborhood that got pregnant by the typical bad boy. Serena and Sawyer are from devout Christian families, and they deal with issues that real teens deal with - whether it's Serena's studious attempt to graduate a year early so she can leave town or Sawyer finding escape through music and other substances. Maybe Allie's and Leo's situations were a bit too much, but I think they were both necessary, especially the latter, to kind of make the story work.

And I really connected with Serena in this book. Yeah, she was a bit stand-offish at the beginning, but if I were a private person who had a friend like Allie, I would probably be that way too. Don't get me wrong, Serena did come across as a bitch for a good portion of this book. But at the same time, she really does go through a lot, and I can't imagine having to deal with the situations that she's had to face - with Sawyer, with the baby, with her family's change, with moving on. And she made her fair share of stupid actions, but you can't help who you fall in love with sometimes, and really, I can't see it ending up any other way for her.

The romance itself was realistically good. Serena and Sawyer both had their great moments, making them wonderful companions. At the same time, they had their fair share of arguments - over stupid things, over ridiculous things, over legitimate things, real issues that couples deal with all the time.

I wish I got to know Lydia more and why she decide not to be there for Serena, and what Roger's problem was with Sawyer. And Cade was there, but not. I really love Soledad and Shelby (although I did feel that fact about her at the end just came from nowhere), and it was heartwarming to see Serena patch things up with Leo. And Aaron - it breaks my heart.

Overall, it was refreshing to read something that happens enough but does not get enough attention - but in such a way where you can actually connect with the characters. Props to Cotugno on her debut.

Previously: I am on a YA chick-lit binge/marathon - in desperate need of a GOOD cute, fluffy read.
Profile Image for Sky.
303 reviews15 followers
September 3, 2015
True rating 2.5

A few days ago I read a review that made me think about my rating system, I don’t remember the reviewer’s name so if you’re reading this (which you’re probably not) message me so I can tag you. Okay, so the reviewer said something about how people mostly lower their ratings based on characters’ stupid decisions and not the writing-style nor the world-building. Okay, so I admit that characters have a huge role in my rating, but it’s not the only thing I look at whilst rating. I look at the writing-style, the character development, how the world is built, and most importantly I look at what type of plot-devices the author uses (i.e when they use mental illnesses, rape, and other things that should not be used as plot devices). So in this review I will show you both the negative and positive aspects of this book, so it can be a fair rating.

If any of you watched Peter Pan; that’s exactly how I will describe Sawyer, a child, a child that will never grow the fuck up. Like, when he saw his child for the FIRST time in TWO years the dialogue between him and the mom went along the lines of;

“This mine?”

“Yeah”

“Y’did good”


That my friends was the encounter between Reena, the girl who was knocked up at 16- and thrown to the curb, while pregnant. To be fair, Sawyer didn’t know she was pregnant, but when he discovered they had a child TWO YEARS LATER he acted like she gave birth to a candy-bar! He was so chill and cool about the whole thing. I didn’t see guilt, nor remorse, nothing, nada. And Reena, you’d expect better from a person who gets insults like; “You language-obsessed intellectual elitist”. The author was trying to make her so good and innocent and intelligent, but failed miserably. She may be good at writing essays, but she is as dumb as you can get when it comes to life-changing thoughts. I understand her parents are religious and having a pregnant 16 year-old is the last thing they had in my mind, but that did not excuse her stupid decisions.

Hannah, the baby was just used as a plot device; I rarely saw Reena taking care of her, I rarely felt the mother-daughter bond between them, and I didn’t see Sawyer act like a damn father. And like I said before, I’m very critical about bad choices of plot devices, like dammit!

“The weird emptiness of not having a best friend to tell things to. How it’s lonelier than any breakup could ever be.”

Okay, writing this review just reminded me how mad this book got me. I liked the writing-style of this book, it went back and forth from past tense to present tense, I enjoyed seeing the parallels between the times. I loved Reena’s relationship with her best friends, although no effort from her part was put in. But a female friendship in YA literature, you take what you can get. That’s how rare it is.

It wasn’t bad enough to be DNFd, but it had a lot of bad aspects that couldn’t be outweighed by the good ones. Thus the 2.5 star rating.
Profile Image for Giselle.
990 reviews6,648 followers
November 17, 2013
Don't let my 3 stars sway you against this one. How to Love is a pretty good book for many reasons. First it touches on a subject I personally have not often come across in books - teen pregnancy. I found this was handled realistically and fairly. I also really enjoyed the way it was told in past and present perspectives, allowing us to slowly unravel the messy, emotionally conflicting details of Reena's relationship with the father of her child - Sawyer. We learn how it started, but most importantly how much it has changed. How much they both have changed. On that note, the reason I did not love this book despite finding it otherwise engaging: Sawyer LeGrande!

To be frank. Sawyer LeGrande is an ass. Since the story alternates from past to present, we're treated to his "lovely" personality from when he was first with Reena. To be fair he was not in a good place in his life, and he very much changed in the "present" perspective which makes up for it, some. Nevertheless, I had a very hard time forgiving his behavior from the past. Maybe a tiny bit because of my own somewhat similar messed up teenage relationship, but alas, I blocked myself emotionally from this guy long before we were meant to find him redeemable.

Reena, however, I loved. I found her mature beyond her years - likely due to her having to raise a child so young. She's a great mother who owns up to her mistakes; raising a child, getting a job, putting her own dreams on hold to do what needed to be done - no matter how unfair she was being treated by her family. That, alone, is admirable to me. She's got flaws, she's not great at admitting things to herself for one, and she let Sawyer be a jerk to her for way too long. In the end, we all make stupid decisions, we all refuse to let ourselves see people's real sides sometimes. My teen self just very much related to her in spite of it all.

Aside from teen pregnancy, this book tackles drug use, religion, family discordance, betrayal, death - but ultimately, love, romance, and friendship. Since I didn't love Sawyer, the romance fell a bit flat for me. I'm all about second chances, but I think Sawyer had a lot more to make up for, not helped by the fact that Reena gave in to him (both in past and present) much too easily. Evidently, all my problems with this book stem from him. Everything else is what drew me in: the writing, the realism, the family dynamic, the emotional struggles - I also loved every other character. If I had grown to like Sawyer… I can understand the reasons behind the many 5 stars!

--
An advance copy was provided by the publisher for review.

For more of my reviews, visit my blog at Xpresso Reads
Profile Image for Kelly (and the Book Boar).
2,674 reviews9,123 followers
November 25, 2014
THIS IS ONLY $1.99 RIGHT NOW (11/25/14)!

http://www.amazon.com/How-Love-Katie-...


The perfect escape when you're dealing with your awful family this Thanksgiving weekend : )



Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

Reena has dreamed of two things her whole life – getting away from her hometown of Broward, Florida and getting together with Sawyer. Little does she know that when dream #2 comes true, it will be Sawyer escaping, leaving Reena left behind to raise his baby. A couple of years pass and Reena’s plans of attending Northwestern, traveling the world and becoming a journalist have long since been replaced with sippy cups and dirty diapers when Sawyer reappears. Reena knows getting involved with Sawyer again is the (second) worst decision she could make (the first was getting involved with him at all), but her heart is having a hard time following directions.

God I’m so white trash. I love reading about hick girls who get knocked up and say stuff like “guess who I saw standing next to the Slurpee machine at the 7-Eleven” (or even better yet, and unfortunately not used in How to Love “down at the Piggly Wiggly”). Woo Wee! I eat that s*^t UP!

Told in alternating chapters of past and present, How to Love is a delightful little guilty pleasure if you want to add some sap to your reading repository. In the middle of a hectic week with some extra blargh in my life making it totally craptastic, this book hit the spot. Light, romantic and believable – it was the perfect escape route and I didn’t want to put it down. Bonus - Although the characters are teens, I think this should probably fall under New Adult rather than YA, so have no fear, fellow geezers. On the other hand, if you want lots of sexy-fun-time, this one is truly PG-13.
Profile Image for Keertana.
1,138 reviews2,279 followers
October 26, 2013
It's no secret that I struggle with romance. I'm just as prone to swooning as any other girl, but perhaps I'm just more picky about who I swoon over. Or maybe it just takes more for a romance to really click for me. Whatever it is, How to Love, failed to impress me. Not only did its love story fall flat, but its tale of redemption didn't tug at any heartstrings whatsoever. Although I believe that Cotugno's debut novel manages to cover a plethora of topics with poise, its prose lilting and impossible to tear away from, my overall feelings towards this novel remain ambiguous. In fact, I sincerely hope to forget all about it...soon.

How to Love is told in alternating timelines, switching from "Before" to "After" every other chapter. It chronicles the tale of Sawyer and Reena's young, teenage romance in a small Florida town "before" Reena became pregnant and then, two years "after" when Sawyer finally returns, turning Reena's life upside down once again. It's a fairly typical story line, no denying, but Cotugno's writing is beautiful, flowing from past to present and aligning these dual tales perfectly. I particularly love the manner in which the details of this couple are slowly revealed, layer by layer. Moreover, it is especially effective in witnessing both the similarities and the differences between teenage Reena and grown-up Reena; teenage Sawyer and grown-up Sawyer. I've found that most novels that tackle this idea tend to either begin in the past before shifting to the present or are merely dispersed with numerous flashbacks. In contrast, Cotugno's style works best.

Where Cotugno truly shines, however, is in her honest portrayal of Reena. As far as protagonists go, Reena is an easy one to root for. Not only is she under the drinking age and straddled with a two-year-old daughter, but her dreams of attending a nonfiction writing program at Northwestern and traveling the world have all been dashed by her careless teenage mistake. Yet, I appreciate that she took responsibility for her actions and her strength is one to be admired. Moreover, despite the stigma and allegations of her conservative parents and town, Reena manages to work, take care of her daughter, and attend classes at the local community college. When it comes to teenage pregnancy, Cotugno really hit the nail on the head. Although I am quick to judge on this subject, numerous novels over the past year - Beth Kephart's Small Damages most notably - have allowed me to view this subject in a much more different light. Cotugno is no exception and excels, not only in capturing Reena's tumultuous mindset, but also in highlighting the tense relationships she holds with her parents and friends.

Nevertheless, where this novel fell apart for me was in its love interest, Sawyer. As a teenager, Sawyer is a mess: drugs, alcohol, and a total Casanova to boot. Unfortunately, I never really came to understand why Sawyer was forced to resort to such extremes to cope with his life, which only twisted my view of him. Furthermore, though, I simply could not see his charm. Sawyer is the godson of Reena's father and, as such, she has grown up seeing him all her life. And, all her life, she's been head-over-heels crazy for him. Why? I have no idea. Granted, Sawyer is handsome and polite, but once his relationship with Reena truly took off, I could only think of one word to describe it: unhealthy. Sawyer convinces Reena to skip classes, blow off her responsibilities, and subtly peer pressures her to mingle with his crowd. On more than once occasion, Reena is upset after spending time with Sawyer and often uncomfortable at the scenes he takes her too. Still, no matter how discomfiting it was to read about their destructive relationship, it ultimately stands as a realistic portrayal of many teenage relationships.

Where How to Love completely lost me, though, was in the "after" relationship between Reena and Sawyer. Although Sawyer takes off for two years to attend rehab and get his act together, I was unable to fall for the man he had become. It should be made clear that Sawyer was completely unaware of the fact he even had a daughter until he returned home to Florida. When he did learn the truth - that Reena didn't, in fact, go to Northwestern - he immediately steps up and makes an effort to become Hannah's father. I appreciated this and even understood the persistent sparks between himself and Reena, but the relationship between Reena and Sawyer also persists in its unhealthy aspects. I found it to be almost destructive in its intensity; a little frightening. Sawyer's arrival causes Reena to turn her life around - again - going so far as to break off her relationship with Aaron, the wonderful guy who genuinely wants to be part of her life. I particularly hate this trope, mainly because it causes a completely innocent third party - Aaron - to be hurt for no reason either than the fact that Reena and Sawyer need to be together. Why? I still have no idea.

You see, Sawyer may return to Florida willing to get his act together and become a father to Hannah, but that doesn't mean that he repents in the least or even tries to redeem himself. Instead, his mere presence causes Reena to - slowly - forgive him with time. Although I gradually warmed up to his character during the last fifth of this narrative (mostly because Reena yelled at him a lot which I thought he totally deserved), I cannot admit to truly comprehending the inner workings of this couple. I feel as if Sawyer has a lot to apologize for, both in impregnating Reena (even though, let's face it, that's her fault too), but mostly in disappearing from her life, accusing her of leaving him for college, and in dragging Reena into his lifestyle of drugs. While Sawyer's nature may appeal to many, it failed to win me over in the least, and I am left ending this book with a sour taste in my mouth. I really love the growth arc that Reena goes through, but I ultimately do not like either her or Sawyer.

And, that's almost what I like about books the most: I do not have to like these characters. I appreciate their complexity and their lives and I particularly admire the writing style their narration is told in, but I still do not believe that this story has reached its full potential. In my eyes, Sawyer needs to be fleshed out far more than he is. Not only do questions concerning his past need to be answered, but the relationship between himself and Reena isn't convincing enough - for me, at any rate. I think the inclusion of so much else in this book really worked in its favor, from the impact of teenage and adult friendships to the importance of family on ones own psyche. Furthermore, Cotugno does a true service to an honest portrayal of life as a teenage mom. How to Love certainly does have a lot to love, which is why I would not hesitate to recommend it to fans of contemporary romance, but while I will be looking out for Cotugno's future works - her writing is too good to miss - I won't be seeing this one again any time soon.

You can read this review and more on my blog, Ivy Book Bindings.
Profile Image for Megha.
289 reviews95 followers
December 10, 2018
3.5 out of 5

I wasn’t sure if I liked this book in the beginning but once it picked up, I quite enjoyed it. There are a few parts that didn’t sit well with me but otherwise it was great.

The story is complicated and messy but in a good way. It was relatable to say the least. Reena and Sawyer had history and can’t seem to leave it behind them. They both made mistakes in past and are trying to learn from it. I really liked their characters.

It was an amazing contemporary read. It will make you laugh out loud and tear up a little bit. I definitely recommend it.
Profile Image for ✶Rachelle✶ .
266 reviews138 followers
March 20, 2017
2 stars

Writing this mini review FOR A SECOND TIME because GR is a bitch and deleted my first review
--------



There are a very small number of female MCs that I want to bitch slap. Really, most of the books I read (98% at least) have awesome female characters. They are either 1) badasses, 2) become badasses, or 3) Elizabeth Bennett.

Our MC Reena here didn't make the 98%.





And don't even get me started on Sawyer.



I don't even think I can write a full review at this point. I really did not like this book. I know some people really liked it, but it wasn't for me.
Profile Image for Lamar.
168 reviews97 followers
September 9, 2016
So... How to Love.
More like How to Be Infatuated With an Egocentric Jerk And Make One Bad Decision After The Next And Ruin Your Life.

I don't know, man. Does hating the main character and nearly everyone in the novel is enough reason to hate the book? *shrugs*
Okay, Lamar. What did you love about the novel?
The writing was good.
The exploration of a real, raw issue was interesting.
I liked Shelby, Aaron, and Soledad.
The color of the cover is beautiful.

Now..


Sawyer:
He wanted so bad to be that bad-confident-funny guy but it's just not working for him. Don't get me wrong I like confident-funny guys ONLY when they're done right. He was the other confident guy, the pathetically confident boy. I did not appreciate the way he treated Reena, like he bought her for 5 bucks from the supermarket, like he owns her.
He just came back after nearly three years with no adequate apologies or explanations and shamelessly say "We're gonna do it, Reena. You know it. Eventually we're gonna do it. Sex, that it."
What. The. Fuck.


"Come sit with me, Reena." He commanded.
"Why?" Reena asked.
"Because I said so."

Very attractive, Sawyer. Very.

Look, I'm easy for romance, I'm a sure thing, but I still need to know what it is about the hero and heroine that makes them fall (irrevocably!) in love with each other. Let's face it Sawyer IS A WALKING PIECE OF SHIT.
Not for a second I felt like he really loved Reena.


And Reena..
I didn't go through this novel expecting the main character to always make good decisions or for her to be perfect BUT Reena was handful throughout the whole novel. You had a baby for god's sake I think that round thing inside your head should have grown up a little bit by now.
I bet she has no clue what "self-dignity" means honestly. He just came back after three years, didn't bother to call or anything, and she just throws herself at him.
There was no conversation at all about the way he treated her that short and terrible time they were together, definitely nothing about him doing anything real to make her risk being with him again.



I can totally re-act Reena:
I have a crush on Sawyer.
No, wait. I love him.
But he doesn't notice me... Maybe I should just throw myself at him.
*something happens regarding her best friend.*
Omg like my life suck so bad right now.
So Sad that Sawyer is gone.
Wait he's back.. TIME TO THROW MYSELF AGAIN *winks*
Totally kissed him.
Wha- What is he doing? Is he flirting with the girls in the bar? But he just kissed me.
Whatever. It was fine. Sawyer liked girls. Right now he liked those girls.
*a month later*
Weeeeeee in a relationship
Sawyer takes off again.
But oops I'm pregnant.
*three years later*
Sawyer is baaaaack bitchz.
Reena sees him *drools*
But I have a boyfriend, I totally see my future laid out there with him for me and Hannah.
"Umm babe I think we should stop seeing each other" Says Reena to her boyfriend.
God, I'm so frustrated with my life.
*spends some times with Sawyer*
Why am I doing this?
I do this every time I'm with him
Ugh fuck my life.


You know Reena? Maybe, just fucking maybe you could learn from your mistakes so you never do them again, maybe?
And maybe you could shut up and stop complaining about how your life sucks because you did that to yourself
And maybe have some self-respect and stop acting like you were born to please Sawyer.


Books should have good heroines, strong-independent people you get influenced by. Like if I was a pregnant 16 years old girl and read this... I honestly don't know what I'd do but throwing it in the trash is a real possibility, and Reena wasn't the greatest to read about.
There is no possible way I would want my teenage daughter to read this book. It totally misinterprets what love really is. This is more like infatuation when a young girl gives up her hopes and dreams for a drug taking rock band member and gets pregnant at 16. Good choice! It gets worse from here but I don't and to give it all away. It kept my interest because I was hoping this girl would actually come to her senses. This is not love.
Profile Image for Maureen.
574 reviews4,234 followers
March 13, 2015
3.75/5 stars
I wasn't sure what I was going to think of this book, but I ended up enjoying it. Besides a few things, it was great.
Profile Image for Jay.
514 reviews369 followers
December 4, 2014
So I hugged the book after finishing it... For 1 minute straight while lying on my bed... I just can't form the words to express how much I loved this book <3 Katie Cotugno, I love you

Review:

I really really don't know where to begin with this review or how to express how I felt about this book. If you already scrolled down, you would have noticed that my rating for How to Love is an "All time favorite" and if you are a frequent visitor on our blog, you'd also know that we rarely ever bring that rating out. To give you an example, the last time I gave this rating was to The Sea of Tranquility by Katja Millay all the way back in June (almost 4 months ago). I had a hard time writing a review of that book, and I'm facing the same problem now. I want to do this book justice through this review and the only way to do that is to tell you what I wrote above. Clearly, How to Love isn't just amazing, but it is BEAUTIFUL, EMOTIONAL, REAL, and BREATHTAKING. Definitely a solid reason of why contemporary fiction is my favorite genre.

How to Love doesn't only center around romantic love, but also family love, the love between a mother and daughter, as well as broken love between the people who are the closest to you. All these forms of love show up and are implicated in the plot line. What is unique about How to Love is that it is told in two different time periods, one is when Reena was 16, and another is during her late 18. The POV flip between the past and present is done in such a way that the present and past work parallel together to enhance the plot, the drama, as well as your own emotions. 16 year old Reena never experienced first love while 18 year old Reena already has a daughter, a broken heart, and a disconnected family life. 16 and 18 year old Reena feel like they're on the opposite end of the life spectrum. You can't help but need to find out how this happened. Yes we know the end result, the actual reason, but Cotugno writes in such a way that makes you want to know every detail that happened in that 2 year span.

Also, even though both POVs are connected, they also work alone and have their somewhat distinct plot line. I loved that even though I know Sawyer ended up with 16 year old Reena and then left her, I still loved their progressive relationship. It was just so beautiful and Sawyer was funny, protective, caring, and beautiful. Reena was such a naive girl but I couldn't blame her for that because she is only 16. On some level she knew of the impeding outcome but she loved Sawyer too much to let go and that is her decision. However, 18 year old Reena is not only 2 years older, but definitely a hardened version of her younger self. Since she had her heart broken, she isn't willing to risk it. Her relationship with her daughter just brought tears to my eyes. As well as the emotional implication of Sawyer coming back. I am speaking of these characters as if they are real… they at least felt real while I was reading their story and that doesn't happen all that much in books these days. The plot isn't something unique, but the way it was handled, the way the characters came to life, and how their problems felt so real, and their feelings so raw had my heart breaking for them.

How to Love is not a fluffy contemporary, that is for sure. It is a story about broken love, second chances, and new beginnings. Ever since I finished reading How to Love, I've been itching to read it again. This shows you how much I love it. I can't wait for more work by Katie Cotugno, if they are anything close to how well written How to Love was, I'll be adding more of her books to my "All Time Favorites" list.
Profile Image for Katie.
887 reviews1,021 followers
October 3, 2013
How To Love is by far one of the best debuts I've ever read. I truly had no idea what to expect from Katie Cotugno and I was completely blown away.

How To Love almost fits into the new adult category rather than young adult. It's a much more mature story than normal YA books and I loved it. Younger readers can certainly get away with reading it (although there is drug use/alcohol use/sexual content) and older readers such as myself can truly enjoy it. While Sawyer and Reena are both in their teens, they are forced to deal with some much more adult issues and it was refreshing to read such a realistic story. There's college, teen pregnancy, drug abuse, and so much more packed between these pages. Katie Cotugno tackles everything head on and doesn't shy away from the tough stuff. Everything is handled so well, especially the sexual content, and I would love to see more stories like this one in the future.

The story is told from Reena's point-of-view alone but I really felt like I got to know Sawyer just as well I got to know Reena. Reena is a smart girl. She's funny (in a very sarcastic way), she's kind, and she's definitely a good girl. Sawyer is the opposite of Reena in almost every way. He's definitely a bad boy. He's got drug problems, he's in a band, he's living in a run down place with multiple other guys, and he's not good for Reena. That doesn't stop the two from falling completely in love with each other. This was definitely a case of opposites attracting. Personally I thought Reena and Sawyer were perfect together, at least the second time around.

The story is told in alternating chapters; before and after. It's easy to see how their relationship isn't really all that healthy in the before chapters but both of them have changed drastically since then. They've matured (especially Reena, having to raise a baby), they're smarter, and they can see the truth of their relationship. The story is a very unique one and it completely drew me in. There were secrets between Sawyer and Reena that I just wanted to know and I couldn't stop reading until I knew every last detail. I was captivated from beginning to end.

The last thing I want to mention about How To Love is the writing. It's gorgeous. I don't know any other way to describe it. Even if the story had completely sucked I would have kept reading just for the writing. However, seeing as the story was amazing, the writing was just the icing on the cake.

Overall, just go read How To Love. Please. Even if you're not a contemporary fan, I really think everyone can find something to love about this one. I am highly anticipating Katie Cotugno's next book.
Profile Image for Angela.
343 reviews63 followers
October 1, 2013

Beautiful & achingly realistic tale of young love & its aftermath

Very rarely does a book impress me, satisfy me, and affect me emotionally as much as Katie Cotugno's debut novel, How to Love, did. This novel is a beautiful and achingly realistic portrayal of one couple's doomed teenage love affair, the aftermath, and their eventual coming to terms with one another.

HOW TO LOVE stands out among the crowd of other YA contemporary novels most notably due to Cotugno's lyrical, evocative writing. The author creates beautiful mental images throughout the novel by including details that add nuance and feeling to the story. Every detail or repeated image seems intentionally placed and well-considered. I would often stop reading to admire a passage and think to myself "THIS is what good writing looks and feels like." Another strength lies in the two main characters, Reena and Sawyer. Both are complex, flawed characters with multifaceted family members and friends surrounding them. While I often didn't like Reena or Sawyer, the writing allowed me to understand them and their actions and motivations.

In addition to her strong character development, Cotugno also does wonders with the plot and the structure of the novel. There is a careful interweaving of plot threads about family pressures, work, alcohol/drugs, religion, school, and friendship to make the characters' lives feel real and palpable. I especially liked the presence and impact of Reena's best friend, Allie, on the relationship between Sawyer and Reena. The plot of HOW TO LOVE never hurries nor dallies; the juxtaposition of the "before" and "after" chapters are perfectly aligned with mirrored events that follow one another naturally. When the book came to a close, the ending left me satisfied, even without answering every plot question directly.

Though this book was a perfect fit for me, there were a few phrases or sentence choices that threw me at times, and other readers may not be able to look past Reena's and Sawyer's flaws in order to find them sympathetic.

In all, though, HOW TO LOVE is the best young adult book that I've read in the past two years. I can't wait to see what moving, realistic, and emotionally arresting stories Cotugno writes in the future. I know that I'll be reading every one of them.

Note: This review refers to an advance review copy.

***

Immediate reaction: My first five-star book in two years! I am so incredibly impressed with the quiet but compelling story this novel tells and the style and lyricism with which the author tells it. I can't wait to see what this author writes in the future.
Profile Image for Ashley Cruzen.
368 reviews597 followers
September 10, 2019
I don't know. The only thing I really felt while reading this was "wow is this how everyone I know felt while I was dating that ridiculous douchebag all those years ago?"

The before and after perspectives worked for me in this book. Getting to see how the characters have grown yet stayed the same added to the story. I wasn't particularly bothered by Sawyer's shittyness, because honestly, I've known people like him and it happens and I don't mind seeing realistic yet aggravating characters in books. I was more bothered by how he literally always said the right thing. It poked a hole in the believability of his character for me. No one is ever that charming all the time.

Also, I think it's easy to forget that even though Reena has a child, she's still only 18. Expecting her to have magically become old and wise just because she's a teen mom is a bit ridiculous. I still cringe at my 18 year old self.

I went into this expecting to hate it based on some things I've heard through the grapevine, but I don't believe every less-than-perfect relationship needs to be labeled "problematic." With that said, it was an alright read. That's it.
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