I'm not quite sure how to rate this one. I think that the author is right about most things, but I do think that maybe he overstates how much evidenceI'm not quite sure how to rate this one. I think that the author is right about most things, but I do think that maybe he overstates how much evidence supports his main assertions and how much we can rely on it. The book asserts many things I've seen through observation for many years about the dangers of social media for kids and the horrible results of the decline in play-based childhood. My next sibling is six years younger than I am, so all my younger siblings are Gen Z, and I'm a Millennial. I didn't get a Facebook until I was 16 (which is one of this author's recommendations), and I didn't have a true smart phone until I was 20. (Funny story: my semi-smart phone that could connect to the internet but was slow as hell died while I was in college. My dad told me I should get a smart phone, even though I was ready to get another somewhat dumb phone. I digress.)
All that to say, there's a generational difference in how I grew up and related to smart phones and the internet and how my siblings relate to it. I'm reminded of a meme I saw that was something like, "Too young to believe the boomer conspiracies, too old to be addicted to Tik Tok, just old enough to not be weird about the computer." I can't say if my parents gave my brothers any more or fewer freedoms than I had because I was off at college, but I was never tracked with my phone the way I'm pretty sure all of them are now (even though they're in their twenties). One of my brothers has straight up said (hardly in a joking manner) that he's addicted to social media. All three of them seem to have no reason to challenge any of the right-wing beliefs we grew up with. I can't say it's entirely because of smart phones and social media, but I'm sure those factors aren't blameless either.
One area that made my eyebrows rise was his brief discussion on trans children. As noted in this review, he brings up the widely debunked social contagion theory and can't seem to fathom that kids mask their transness to keep themselves safe. It may look shocking when lots of kids come out in a geographic area, but it makes sense if those kids are in a safe environment. If one kid comes out and has a positive experience, another trans kid will see that and feel safe enough to come out as well, and so on. It seems like he should look up the incidence of left handedness and ask himself if he really thinks that people truly started being left handed more or if the same rate of people were left handed all along, they just weren't being punished for it anymore. Maybe with his life in New York City, he can't understand how bad it is for queer kids in other areas. Given this blindspot, it makes me wonder what else he could be missing throughout the book.
I do think a lot of the suggestions are good. My spouse and I had already decided we wanted to delay smart phones as much as possible, as well as social media, and this book supports that and gives lots of great ideas about giving kids increasing levels of autonomy. Maybe someday with enough families working on this problem together, we can make the broader culture change. Maybe someday the government will hold tech companies accountable (I doubt it until Citizens United is overturned). But we can hope, and this book is a good starting point. ...more
I've been following Lucy Knisley on Instagram for years. For a long time, we had a copy of her spaghetti carbonara recipe from her book Relish on our I've been following Lucy Knisley on Instagram for years. For a long time, we had a copy of her spaghetti carbonara recipe from her book Relish on our fridge (now it's in our recipe binder). My husband and I constantly quoted the "Woe!" comic within when our cat was still living, and I cried when Linney (the cat) died when it happened, and again when I read its portrayal in this book.
I guess what I'm saying is that I've had a para-social relationship with this cat for years, so I might not be too objective about about this book. If you like graphic memoirs and cats, this is probably for you....more
When I saw this book was released and what it was about, I was irritated. Irritated because two years ago, I spent hours upon hours compiling family aWhen I saw this book was released and what it was about, I was irritated. Irritated because two years ago, I spent hours upon hours compiling family autobiographical questions for my grandparents. Since then, I've spent upwards of 10-15 hours talking with them on video about their lives. I thought, "I did all this work, but I could have waited for this book!"
To my own surprise and delight, this book had some new questions and new angles I hadn't thought about at all for my own questions, so I have some supplements to do with my grandparents and will be incorporating the additions to the time I spend with mine and my spouse's parents.
I can't recommend enough doing some sort of project like this with your grandparents/parents/other relatives, especially if they're older. I'll always regret that I wasn't able to do this with my uncle before he died. ...more
3.5 stars This is a perfectly fine book as an intro to many of these concepts, but the problem is that I've already read more in-depth books on the sub3.5 stars This is a perfectly fine book as an intro to many of these concepts, but the problem is that I've already read more in-depth books on the subjects she covered. I would recommend The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe and Factfulness over this book or as books to read if the topics interested you....more
This is a hard book to rate. I really loved the writing, and I found the time in the mental institution, particularly the discussions and sessions witThis is a hard book to rate. I really loved the writing, and I found the time in the mental institution, particularly the discussions and sessions with the doctors and experts about her diagnoses fascinating. But, as other reviewers noted, her resentment at Men Generally (TM) doesn't quite connect to the experiences she communicates. Yes, there are absolutely patriarchal systems to be furious at. But she doesn't do a good job of showing the connection between the systems and her life other than one conversation where a boyfriend lied and gaslit her about an ex of his. I'm sure there's some sort of NDA between her and Mulaney, but it also feels like a huge gap to have this big bad guy of the book be Men Generally (TM) but then almost entirely skip the period of her marriage. Men may have called her crazy, but she might be a little bit....more
Very important. The author is very clear about what is supported by data and what is not. She also bends completely backward to make clear th4.5 stars
Very important. The author is very clear about what is supported by data and what is not. She also bends completely backward to make clear throughout the book that her findings should not be taken as a reason to bludgeon people. In the first 1% of the book: "It is reasonable to argue, for example, that a household with two parents has a greater capacity to provide financial and nonfinancial resources to a child than a one-parent household does. To argue this is not to judge, blame, or diminish households with a single parent; it is simply to acknowledge that (1) kids require a lot of work and a lot of resources, and (2) having two parents in the household generally means having more resources to devote to the task of raising a family. What I am doing is arguing, through an appeal to data and rigorous studies, that two parents tend to be able to provide their children with more resource advantages than one parent alone. And furthermore, that a two-parent family is increasingly becoming yet another privilege associated with more highly resourced groups in society."
Some fascinating tidbits I learned:
The increase in single-parent households has been driven by non-college educated parents, meaning that the people that benefit the most from getting married are the ones not doing so as much.
The trend is also NOT a case where we're becoming more like the Europeans (where committed adults live together and raise their children without getting formally married).
It's NOT being caused by teen pregnancies, which are at an all-time low.
The data suggest that people not getting married has been driven by a decrease in the economic attractiveness of non-college educated men. There were some fascinating studies done on manufacturing towns before and after jobs were shipped to China or automated, and it was clear that one of the results of this subsequent lack of stable jobs was a decline in marriage in those areas....more
A solid enneagram book. I took the author's advice for type 1s to "break a rule", so one of mine was reading the overall sections and my type's sectioA solid enneagram book. I took the author's advice for type 1s to "break a rule", so one of mine was reading the overall sections and my type's section in depth, but skimming the other sections. She can't fault me for that. :)
But in all seriousness, there's some great practical stuff here for actually using the enneagram to make your life better (instead of the stereotype of using it to excuse your faults). Even before the "break a rule" advice from this book for the type 1s as well as my therapist telling me to "make some mistakes on purpose," I found that abandoning books that weren't working for me (breaking the unspoken rule that one had to finish every book one started) has made my life so much better. ...more
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