I honestly have absolutely no idea what happened in this book amongst all the d*ck jokes and sexual innuenNarrated by Casey Jones Presented by RB Media
I honestly have absolutely no idea what happened in this book amongst all the d*ck jokes and sexual innuendo. Something to do with pirates which could have actually been cool but definitely wasn't.
Complete trash.
Unless you're into d*ck jokes, I guess.
I lost hope for this almost immediately, and if it hadn't been a NetGalley read I'd have DNF'd it on the spot.
The barrage of sex jokes is so off-putting that I found myself constantly rolling my eyes and tuning out. There are characters here that deserved better than what they were given, and I found it so disappointing.
Nothing really seemed to happen - there's a serpent at one stage and a ridiculous baking competition (??!) but not really much else beyond a bunch of boys wanting to f*ck each other etc. It got real old, real fast.
Honestly, I just ended up tuning so much of it out. I was actually listening at 3x speed at one stage just to try and get through it.
The only reason this gets a second star from me is for the narration, which was absolutely spectacular. Honestly, if you are into sassy boys who make a LOT of d*ck jokes then you should actually enjoy this immensely and I highly recommend the audio because the delivery was brilliant.
Narrated by Cindy Kay Presented by Dreamscape Media
Rubbish from start to finish.
The whole premise revolves around saving the world by creating a new laNarrated by Cindy Kay Presented by Dreamscape Media
Rubbish from start to finish.
The whole premise revolves around saving the world by creating a new language based on maths, linguistics and music. Which intrigued me but was actually so ridiculous, and was discussed in excruciatingly mundane detail.
It takes famous historical figures, implants them in the future to help solve this problem, and then treats them poorly. Zero respect for the actual people who contributed to changing the world for the better in their various fields. Also it was a revolving door of plucking people from the past and sending them back, which seemed like overkill to me.
The whole idea of ripping these people from their past lives with zero moral contemplation was incredibly frustrating. There was no decent reflection on how these people might feel; there was no compassion, there was no consideration. It was just, 'they took a week or so to adjust' and then 'when you go back this will be like a dream'. What a cop out. Maybe if you're using this idea, think about the consequences a little more.
The whole thing just made me so MAD!
There are also weird relationship dynamics and dolphins and the whole thing was so DULL I tuned most of it out. I was so bored.
I thought it was a cool idea but listening to it was really painful.
Narration was okay but there were so many characters they inevitably started to sound the same, and some of the voices were ridiculous.
There was just nothing about this book that I liked.
It's incredibly long, reads like a lecture, and none of the characters had me invested.
Maybe if you're into dull lectures on dull subjects, or dull characters doing dull things, you'll get a kick out of it, but it was not for me at all.
Nothing says !!MALE AUTHOR!! like a sex act in almost EVERY. SINGLE. CHAPTER and women ALWAYS described first and foremost by theirPREPARE FOR A RANT.
Nothing says !!MALE AUTHOR!! like a sex act in almost EVERY. SINGLE. CHAPTER and women ALWAYS described first and foremost by their heaving, always engorged breasts.
I'm so mad.
A Summary: - Characters are never properly described -Allusions to the past make you feel you missed an entire book/trilogy before this -Plot is hard to make out -Sex nudity sex boobs rape sex boobs groping sex obscene paintings boobs rape nudity sex ETC
In further detail:
Characters Having read this book, I still have very little idea of what ANY of these characters look like. I was 300 pages in before I realised one of the characters was black. That seems like something I should have known. Other than that, the dudes have guts and the ladies have heaving breasts.
It is very hard to follow a story with multiple characters when you have no idea what any of the characters actually look like.
Allusions to the Past The setting of this book is about a decade after a big battle in which all the main characters were heroes, to the extent that they killed a dragon and led armies to great victory. Now they're old and essentially past their prime but things drag them back into the fold somehow.
I honestly had to double check that there wasn't another book or series set in the same world with these characters. I still feel like there is and I just missed it. Because there are so many references to things that happened in the past that are more confusing than scene-building. For example, how is it that they killed a dragon and it was a big deal and then there is just zero other references to dragons?! Also who/what are these Lizard people and where are they now? Admittedly, I skimmed a lot of the political rants because I could not make heads or tails of any of it. There are so many names for people, places, things, etc that I could not keep track one bit. There is so much information and none of it is explained clearly enough to get a true picture of this world.
Plot So, as mentioned above, things are very messy and confusing. Our main protagonist, Ringil, is drawn out of the quiet life by the search for his cousin. This happens within the first few chapters of the book, yet we see almost zero progress in this quest aside from Ringil insulting people and either getting into fights or getting into bed with them. I liked the steppe dude and his basic story of sibling rivalry but the third main character? I just honestly had no idea what was going on with her. Something about being a lapdog for the emperor. *shrugs* She also has a lot of names that I honestly could not be bothered even READING let alone mentally pronouncing properly.
Sex etc. DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED.
What IS it with male fantasy authors needing to live out their every pornographic fantasy in the books they write? There was 100% NO NEED for this level of debauchery. Also, WHY are fat, ugly, has-been heroes irresistible to one and all? Get outta here.
Conclusion This book was just so heavily overshadowed by all the sex, rape and acts of sexual subservience that there was no room left to develop plot, characters or the world. A complete mess from start to finish.
Target audience: dudes who love 'anti hereoes' who are actually just unappealing men who get laid a lot; guys who say they like 'gritty' fantasy but actually just like lots of death and sex; readers who prefer sex and violence over plot and world-building....more
The writing is quite messy and bland, with awkward, clunky sentences and confusing tenses. I ended up skimminEverything about this story is primitive.
The writing is quite messy and bland, with awkward, clunky sentences and confusing tenses. I ended up skimming a fair bit because it was so much work to make sense of what was going on.
The story itself is an interesting idea, poorly executed. We're given a kid running from an unspeakable horror, who meets up with a few others to run again from further horrors. The characters are never particularly well-defined, so they ran together a little bit in my mind and I felt no attachment to any of them.
The constant stream of monsters and names and disguises meant I had a bit of trouble working out who was who, what was what, and the intentions of all the parties involved. Admittedly, my skimming wouldn't have helped this issue; however everything was just so confusing that it was a bit of a cycle: can't understand so skim -> nothing really makes sense -> more skimming.
The language of the story was pretty terrible, I'm afraid - the first person POV means everything is simplified, but there's no elegance to it, so it comes across as just bland, lazy writing. Example: "They reminded me of the time I ate that herb and saw the world from a different view." A notion like this may perhaps have been more effective if we felt more of the memory: what the herb looked/smelled/tasted like; the occasion that led to the herb eating; an expansion of what the world looked like from this different view. Any of these things would have helped. Instead, the reader is forced to do all the work.
Basically, there's no real emotion to the story. It's all words, spoken poorly on the page. No senses evoked, no connection to the characters or story created. It's a creative, interesting story, but it hurries to tell it and as a consequence, it lacks all the careful, nuanced details that allow for an emotional connection.
Honestly, the story has a lot of potential but it should be a full length novel that takes time to dwell on atmosphere and emotion, rather than squashing all these unique ideas into less than 100 pages. As it stands, it's a disappointing mess of creativity arranged haphazardly like the ramblings of an inventive child. Promising, interesting, but ultimately too much work to make sense of.
With thanks to the author for a copy to review...more
This wasn't what I expected at all, so it was pretty disappointing.
What I expected, based on the blurb: Dude decides he's done with the trappings of sThis wasn't what I expected at all, so it was pretty disappointing.
What I expected, based on the blurb: Dude decides he's done with the trappings of society so escapes into the bush to live off the land and so learn to appreciate the simplicities of life.
What I got: After years of being a screw-up, drug-addled criminal retreats into woods to grow (and sell?!) weed with less chance of being caught.
The fact that this covered more of Mark's life of drugs than his time in the bush was already a massive drawback, but then to discover that there was no redemption arc, no new outlook on life, no rediscovery of the true joys of life ... it was just so disappointing.
Honestly, there's just not enough to this story to make it a worthy book.
The writing is a giveaway of that, because it is choppy, short sentences that skips over details. Titled paragraphs rather than chapters, and an unclear timeline that jumps all over the place and confuses chronology. The book is separated into different parts which are each labelled with a year, but then that part seems to cover multiple years; Mark goes off into the woods to live off the grid, but then he's showing up at his brother's place so regularly they have to tell him off for it. Then he has a job, and then he's back living off the land? There's just not enough words to tie all these things together neatly with any kind of logic. To be perfectly candid, the writing is terrible. Plenty of descriptions of the bush, though.
There are so many siblings that the lack of description and logical order means they all kind of blend together, meaning I didn't care about who was who. All I got was that Mark was the loser of the family. That sure didn't make me sympathetic to his plight, especially when he didn't seem to grow as a person at all.
This is a true story, and I really expected to be inspired by this person who decided that, instead of being beat down by life, they would retreat into simplicity and learn to appreciate life through nature. Instead, I just found myself feeling sad that this man who was so willing to go to extremes did it all in the name of drugs.
I am sure there are some who will enjoy Mark's story - perhaps even sympathise - but it just doesn't strike me as being note-worthy. There are so many others more worthy of having their story shared.
The blurb promises darkness, monsters, gods. What we get is pieces of other people's stories woven togetherEugh, this ended up being so disappointing.
The blurb promises darkness, monsters, gods. What we get is pieces of other people's stories woven together by a really thin premise: a 'corruption' is taking over and only Leta has the power to save the world.
*eyeroll*
So here we have: Beauty and the Beast and The Secret Garden, with a little bit of SJM's A Court of Thorns and Roses thrown in for good measure. Leta is forced to stay at this horrible mansion with all of its luxuries under the watchful glare of its mysterious, monstrous lord. Rowan is of course the brooding, misunderstood monster who really just needs love to cure all of his ails.
Everything about this book frustrated me.
I think we're supposed to be impressed by how fearless and headstrong Violeta is but honestly she annoyed me so much. She keeps doing stupid things because she selfishly believes she's the only one capable of doing anything, and she totally smothers her brother under the pretext of 'protecting' him. She argues about everything and yet somehow everyone is impressed by her? (view spoiler)[For example, everyone was so surprised and impressed she gave up her magic to save her brother? But I'm just like, of course she did?? Since when could magic ever be more important than your brother's life?! (hide spoiler)]
Rowan also did nothing for me because he's your typical control freak who likes to just yell at people to not do things but never actually explain anything, all while awkwardly hitting on Leta then pushing her away in an endless cycle.
The story is so ridiculously repetitive and pointless. Basically, there's a 'corruption' that the gang needs to fix. But it's just constantly the same thing: corruption is bad -> ritual to combat corruption -> ritual goes wrong -> corruption is still bad -> ritual -> goes wrong -> REPEAT ENDLESSLY.
PLUS the bonus of: I really like him -> but he's a monster -> but he's just misunderstood - but he'd never want me -> so I'm totally not into him -> but I like him a lot -> but he's a monster -> not really though -> ETC FOR ETERNITY.
Kill me now.
This whole thing was pointless and painful and repetitive and didn't deliver any of the darkness I was hoping for.
I'm so bummed.
If you're into that whole, 'mysterious brooding monster man falls for Perfectly Ordinary yet Feisty Female' trope you're gonna love this trash. Personally, I felt like so much of this story was just done better elsewhere.
Definitely won't be reading the inevitable sequel.
With thanks and apologies to Macmillan for sending me a copy...more
You would think it would be a fantastic horror story but the real horror is the pain of reading this booThis is a story about a ghost seeking revenge.
You would think it would be a fantastic horror story but the real horror is the pain of reading this book.
'Minds are illegible; they read the body. Wet cold prickles under the back, the shirt too thin. Bacteria hitches a ride in the air, clings to a hair in the nostril. They move, are moved, into these discomforts, go where there are openings. (Do they open things?) The body coughs, its whole length poised and racking. The eyes leave the stars and return; the body sits up, relaxes. The joint held aloft. They are in the fingers where the burn will meet the skin. In sweet smoke.'
If you appreciate that kind of writing, congratulations. You did what I could not. Have fun with this book which is full of passsages like this. You will love it.
When did 'brilliant literature' become synonymous with 'convoluted writing that goes out of its way to say everything except what it actually needs to say'? It all seems so pretentious to me. Just tell the freaking story please.
I LOVE ghost stories. THIS STORY IS ABOUT A VENGEFUL GHOST POSSESSING PEOPLE ON ITS WAY TO FIND THE MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR ITS DEMISE. It talks about themes like consent and identity and works its way into the mind of a man who thinks he's good but is actually a scumbag and it is actually full of really fascinating ideas. There was so much here to unpack and it could have been a really brilliant, entertaining story.
But, NO.
It decides instead to tell its fantastic story through long, convoluted passages and choppy imagery that remind me of all those times I filled my essays with pointless crap just to make the word count.
Also, I appreciate the importance pronouns have in helping us defining ourselves but unfortunately in the context of this book, all of the 'they' references just made an already-complicated writing style even harder to untangle. I was so lost.
This one was just not for me, folks.
I give full props to the story - the alternating chapters give us Adam's story and 'Their' story, but unfortunately They and Adam both do really, really boring things with their time so if you're not someone who enjoys books that just languish over describing boring things in a twisted manner then you will likely find yourself as frustrated as I was.
If you enjoy unravelling long, confusing passages to tease out what they're trying to say, you'll be all over this. This is for the language lovers; the people who are happy to forfeit action for pretty words. There are some really interesting themes and plenty of symbolism but if you're after a meaty story that really delves into these things you will be disappointed.
Honestly I was so excited to read this story and that just makes it all the more disappointing for me.
Which is ridiculous because they travel to the Middle Ages and there are battles and gruesome deaths and chaos and all manner of craWOW WAS THIS DULL.
Which is ridiculous because they travel to the Middle Ages and there are battles and gruesome deaths and chaos and all manner of crazy sh*t happening but ... I JUST. DIDN'T. CARE. AT ALL.
The door mystery is so underwhelmingly addressed so you soon realise that you will just never understand what the explanation is, and it makes the whole thing seem a bit redundant. Then you've got the crew stuck in the Middle Ages with so many historical references I didn't get that there was no chance of me following what was going down.
The characters did nothing for me, the story did nothing for me, the mystery did nothing for me ... ultimately, this was just a really pointless, disappointing read.
Props to myself for getting through it though, and a bonus star for that. It does suggest others may appreciate it more than I so base your reading of this one on your opinion of the first....more
I really wanted to get through it, as I received a copy from the author in exchange for DNF @ 62%
I'm finally deciding to part ways with this book.
I really wanted to get through it, as I received a copy from the author in exchange for a review.
However it's just really dragging for me and becoming such a chore to read so I'm finishing up just past the halfway mark.
The story follows delinquent Mark, who is always getting into trouble. He's a troubled boy, so when he finds a shack in the middle of nowhere that seems to call to him, he finds it hard to stay away. But evil is at work, here, and things are not going to end well for Mark and his friends ...
It's actually not a bad story. The writing is pretty decent and invocative and the characters are fleshed out well. I just found it all terribly slow and dull, and there was more about Mark's personal problems than anything particularly spooky so I just got a bit bored by it all. By the time things started getting a bit creepy, I was skimming too much to be properly affected by it.
I fully admit that I'm notoriously terrible with e-books, though, so the format definitely affected how slowly I read it, and reading it over a longer period of time may have likely influenced how drawn out the story felt.
It's probably worth a go to most horror lovers, as it seemed a unique concept to me. However be prepared for a slow build up to the horror.
Okay I went into this really excited but unfortunately it kind of ... fizzled.
Mostly, the story just seemed a good excuse to: 1. Trash talk religion 2. Okay I went into this really excited but unfortunately it kind of ... fizzled.
Mostly, the story just seemed a good excuse to: 1. Trash talk religion 2. Make people do weird kinky things
The story follows Jack, who is returning to his hometown after his Grandmother's death. Back when he was a kid, he was part of a cult led by Jacob Masters, who fathered six children specifically so he could later sacrifice them. Jack was one of those kids, so now he has to face his past, particularly since it seems, after 30 years, Jacob may longer be satisfied with staying dead.
So it begins with exactly what went down with the demise of the cult and Jacob's death. Jacob is a religious nut who realised God is not above but actually beneath, and he demands blood, suffering and general depravity. To start, I kind of found it hard to believe that this religious nut hears a 'god' from below and doesn't even think about the possibility it's the devil? How did the dude with the horns and pitchfork not even turn up beyond the title? That surprised me a lot. I found it a little unbelievable that this pastor who was so devoted to God suddenly had his switch flipped by a voice from below. Then again, what do I know about religion? *shrugs*
Soon enough it jumps to present day, 30 years later, where the 'Stauford Six' are just trying to live ordinary lives. Jack is the only one who ever moved away - he went off to become a highly successful artist, thanks to the disturbing artwork inspired by his nightmares. Way to capitalise, buddy. Anyhoo, now he's back in town and we're following as he reunites with a few of his siblings and suddenly discovers that his loving grandma was into some weird stuff before she died.
It was all a little too detailed for me. We get to know half the town in greater detail than was really necessary, and it slowed everything down so much. I got King vibes from the storytelling, but it never drew me in like King's work does. Instead we get to know all of these people that just end up meaning very little to the story. Plus all the backstory with the idol got kinda dull after a while.
The violence is graphic yet sporadic, so you can get this really terrifying, gruesome scene, then the next is an info dump of history that's mostly boring. Also, it's so sexualised. I'll spoiler-tag the details, but safe to say some kinky stuff goes down.(view spoiler)[Firstly there's the kids being raped and violated, Susan and Ozzie and their kinky relationship (I lost count of how many times this story wanted to talk about Susan's Naked Body), the talk of BJs and fucking and incest, and then of course the ending with everyone getting naked and the fucking mass orgy. It was all a little too gratuitous for my tastes. (hide spoiler)] It also starts really strong and creepy but then it ends up being more of the same so it gets a bit repetitive, to be honest. It's like it wants to get creative but just misses the mark.
I enjoyed the lore and the building of the story behind this evil, but all the rituals made it a little too confusing for me and at the end of it I'm still not entirely sure I understand it. I feel like so much detail went into it when it was actually more simple? It got a little bit wild and I think a lot of it was kind of wasted.
I think the takeaway message is that people can do crazy stuff when they think they're doing God's will. It definitely takes a nice solid swipe at the devout, but in doing so it divides the town into 'evil religious nuts' or 'outcasts with no faith'. I think I really needed that middle ground to become properly invested.
I never really felt a lot for the characters, and I think that's because we jumped between so many of them. The substance was certainly there but I just didn't stay with them long enough to really get too invested.
Finally, the whole thing just took so long to play out that, by the end, I was just bored. It started strong but then put so much effort into creating substance and fleshing out details; normally this is something I would appreciate but it just felt pointless and wasted on this story. I think the amount of violence and depravity in this story called for less effort in the storytelling. Alternatively, I would have appreciated fewer, more effective incidents of violence. Basically, the balance was off.
Overall it was an enteraining story that I think just took itself too seriously. I didn't hate it, but I think there's a fair bit of room for improvement.
I picked this book up thinking it would be inspiring; that it would motivate me to find my own grit and understand new ideaHonestly, I hoped for more.
I picked this book up thinking it would be inspiring; that it would motivate me to find my own grit and understand new ideas about how resilience plays a role in becoming a more successful person.
Then I read This Review and began to worry. I hoped I would interpret this book differently, find some kernel to hold onto that would make this a worthy read. Unfortunately, Andy has pretty much nailed it.
So much of this book seems obvious, and so many times it felt like the author was reaching. Like she's been comissioned to write this book so now not only does she have to come up with unique, fascinating concepts but there's also a decent word count to meet. I just got so bored with it.
Here's the breakdown: - Hard work and determination outweigh talent when it comes to succeeding - Hard work is more likely to occur when there is interest in the work - The work is more likely to be interesting if you feel it has purpose - If you feel your work has purpose you're much more likely to stick at it
Then there are countless anecdotes about successful people working hard with purpose.
I enjoyed the 'Grit' questionairre, but it's vague and misleading; the first time I did it, I considered the questions generally. My grit score is quite low, because I'm one of those people who drifts from one interest to another. I don't stick with something that bores me, or makes me unhappy. I did it a second time, however, considering the questions in relation to something I am passionate about, and I got a much higher result. So yes, that pretty much confirms the notion that you have more grit if you care about something. But at the same time, so much of the book is about the vague idea of people being 'gritty' without properly considering these multifaceted depths of grittiness.
I agree with most of what is here, but so much is supposition and assumption. The author seems to talk more about her ideas than actual evidence. 'We did this study, and I don't really know why this is the result, but I would guess it's because ...' So even the research is inconclusive, even if highly suggestive.
She also talks a lot about herself? Which honestly came across as more arrogant than helpful.
I have a friend who is a brilliant artist. Once, while looking at some of his work, I said, 'Man, I wish I had half your talent!'
His response? That by envying his talent, I was minimising all of the hard work he'd put into mastering his craft.
For me, that single comment from my friend told me everything this book spent 400-odd pages trying to tell me. I still think about it when I find myself envying the success of others, or wanting my own success.
The takeaway: As much as we admire talent, and fantasise about having it ourselves, to truly be successful in something we need to work at it. By seeing the result of someone's hard work as 'talent', we're excusing ourselves from having to put in the same kind of effort. If you want something bad enough, you'll put in the work. If you don't want to put in the work, you don't want it enough.
I think this book should have been less about how important grit is, and more about how one can find their own grit. It discusses it vaguely, but it seems purposeless instead of motivational; aimless instead of focused. It's crowded with the success stories of others, but the message never changes: determination to succeed is more important than having a talent for it.
It's certainly got some good ideas and will serve as a great awakening for some - this may be the book you need to motivate you to start structuring your life in terms of goals that will lead to your ultimate success. It might encourage you to stop thinking ideally and start thinking practically. It might reveal to you what you ARE passionate about, and what you AREN'T. But it's ultimately a book of ideas, and you're going to have to do a lot of hard work by yourself.
Here's how I think of Grit: Say you're reading a book and you find it's not really your cup of tea. It's dull, with lifeless characters, and it's riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. It's mostly a chore to read. By the time you finish it, you're exhausted and regret the hours you wasted on it. Then you pick up a book that has everything you love - brilliant writing, interesting plot, great characters ... you find yourself unable to put it down and when you finish you feel satisfied and happy you chose to read it.
Don't berate yourself for not having grit - you do. You just need to find the passion that unlocks it....more
Paolini is a fantasy author and nowhere is that more apparent than in this, his sciDNF @ Pg 536 (61%)
I think it's time to review this monstrosity.
Paolini is a fantasy author and nowhere is that more apparent than in this, his sci-fi debut. Stick to fantasy, buddy.
Let me just start with a list of my complaints and go from there.
- Dull and slow from the get-go - Science is generally pretty light on, unless it's going into pointlessly detailed explanations of something - Characters are annoying cardboard cutouts - Frustrating behaviour - The plot is almost non-existent - The aliens are a friggin parody - Tons of inconsistencies - Just so pointlessly looooooong
*sigh*
Dull, slow, pointlessly long with a non-existent plot Here is the formula of this story: Kira, our protagonist, finds an alien super suit. She passes out. She has a weird dream. She wakes. They are travelling to another location. She goes to sleep. She has a weird dream. When she wakes, they are arriving somewhere. There is a fight. She passes out. Has a weird dream. Wakes up, they're headed somewhere else. Another fight. She passes out/goes to sleep. Has a weird dream. ARE YOU SEEING WHERE THIS IS GOING?!
I read over 500 pages of this stupid book and still have no freaking clue what the actual point of it was. I have no idea what was happening because it was all so similar it just blurred together. Honestly, if I had to read one more fking dream sequence I was going to scream. THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS BOOK TO BE NEARLY 900 PAGES LONG.
The science Admittedly, I don't read a huge amount of sci-fi, because the science tends to go over my head. However I recently read (and enjoyed immensely) The Salvation Sequence and this is the sci-fi I am comparing this book to.
I enjoy science that goes a little over my head, but in The Salvation Sequence the point of all the fancy sci-fi lingo was explained. For example, there would be a scientific explanation for something like about how energy would be channelled through the Thingamajig which would multiply the trajectory of the Whatchamacallit into the square root of pi or whatever and then it would explain, 'basically, when the Thingamajig went off, the tunnel would be blown to smithereens' (Clearly this is an example not just of what I mean but also of my complete lack of comprehension of some of the science stuff haha). Point is, no matter how lost I was with the science, I still understood what was happening.
In this book, there's actually not a lot of science, despite being set in space in the future. It's all kind of dumbed down, but then it will have a little fit here and there where it goes into a scientific explanation about something and you just have to understand it or you get left behind. I'm not exactly an advanced physicist (shocking, I know) so I definitely didn't get it.
Meanwhile, they nickname the giant squid aliens JELLIES. *facepalm*
Cardboard characters with frustrating behaviour First we have Kira, who is our saintly protagonist who can do no wrong. Even when she's accidentally slaughtering people she's forgiven, because she didn't mean to, and she feels really bad about it. Also she's somehow always saving lives but don't thank her because she's just doing what anyone else would have done. Honestly, how everyone saw her as a hero constantly kind of mystified me because half the time I had no idea what they were referring to. She seemed to always be causing more trouble. She makes so many stupid mistakes and questionable choices and I just could not root for her. Especially when no one gave her nearly as much crap as she deserved.
Next we have the motley crew, and anyone who knows my reading habits knows I love a good motley crew. But these guys were just SO BORING. They are nothing new: the brooding Captain who everyone loves and respects and who our main character is definitely going to bang at some point (mercifully I didn't get there but I guarantee it happens eventually), the gruff sidekick who is actually more kind and considerate than you'd expect, the tough, quiet one with a soft spot, the feisty warrior one, the joker ... and honestly again they all blended together because they were so unoriginal I didn't give two craps about them. I hope they all get blown to pieces in a grand finale. (Tell me they do and I might reconsider finishing this book.)
Among all of this is a handful of terrible jokes and a little bullying on the side which I can only assume is both an attempt to lighten the mood but also teach people that bullying is wrong. (Thank you, Mr Paolini, for pointing this out to me in your super wise, realistic, science fiction/fantasy novel. I am so moved by this completely random message.)
Honestly, THIS IS A TRAINWRECK OF A BOOK.
The aliens and the inconsistencies So the Big Bad are aliens which apparently look like giant squid and our protagonist and her squad take to nicknaming them Jellies. Because why call them squids, right? Also, even though Kira and her squad have come up with this nickname, it is coincidentally the same nickname EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE picked and chooses to use - even after knowing (or even ONLY knowing) their actual species name. Because 'Jellies' just represents such an intelligent, malevolent kind of vibe, right? How am I supposed to take this threat seriously?! I just kept thinking this was actually set deep in the ocean with mutated sea creatures. Maybe it would have made for a better story if it had been.
Concluding thoughts Essentially, this is a fantasy novel, set in space, featuring evil sea creatures and it just DOES NOT WORK. There's so much being crammed in but there's not really a plot to drive it or even tie it together neatly. It's just a mashup of a bunch of ambitious ideas.
Imagine this: You decide you're going to let out this massive scream, right, so you draw all this air into your lungs, you're sucking it back, your chest is expanding, it is going to be a scream heard throughout the world, and then when you finally open your mouth ready to unleash this scream ... you let out an involuntary huff of breath - 'ah'. THAT'S THIS STORY. The ultimate disappointment. It is a world built of scraps and falling apart at every join.
My feelings toward this book perfectly sum up my feelings toward 2020: I was excited, had big plans, expected great things, and then as soon as it started it was falling apart and it just got worse and worse and more and more frustrating and now I am just overjoyed that it's OVER.
With thanks and apologies to the publisher for my ARC...more
Honestly, I hate writing reviews like this for books given to me by publishers, but WOW was this a piece of work.
My biggest problem with i*heavy sigh*
Honestly, I hate writing reviews like this for books given to me by publishers, but WOW was this a piece of work.
My biggest problem with it - aside from being incredibly boring - is that it basically feels like an old white dude trying to cram anti-racism down your throat. I'm all for supporting anti-racism, but the delivery was all wrong and I found it so patronising.
There's also just no story to it. It's so dull! I blame Jock Serong's Preservation for giving me unrealistic expectations for this book. I was expecting a fascinating survival story set in the early days of Australia. I was expecting unprepared white fellas confronted by harsh climate, unforgiving scrubland, and the perplexing conundrum of interacting with the local Indigenous population when they're (the white dudes) all racist bastards. I was expecting insight into the fascinating practices, customs and general way of living of older Aboriginal cultures. I was expecting a thoughtful exploration of this early racism in the midst of a great story.
What did I get?
White dudes fighting with white dudes. White dudes complaining about everything. White dudes talking about murdering the locals coz they're black. One white dude reflecting on FRIGGING EVERYTHING instead of ACTUALLY TELLING THE STORY.
Not gonna lie, I skimmed the last 200-odd pages HARD.
This was supposed to be a 'fierce, intriguing and thoughtful retelling' and none of those things are true. The basic history is that the English invaded Australia, murdered a bunch of the locals then spent their lives trying to convert the rest of them to the 'white people' way of living. This book doesn't even come close to turning that on its head. This book is essentially just white people complaining and I had no time for it. Then you've got random chapters here and there finally told from the point of view of a local, and he just wants to throw random words at you and tell you random Aboriginal legends. This book STILL doesn't care about telling his story.
I just found the whole mess so frustrating.
When there are man-eating crocodiles around and I'm still bored, it's a bad sign.
There is definitely a lot of interesting information about the practices of Aboriginal people, but if I was interested in the facts of things delivered as bluntly as this I'd pick up a non-fiction book (I am, in fact, slowly working my way around to Dark Emu, which has been highly recommended for this kind of information). This book purports to be an intriguing re-telling, which automatically suggests everything about the story is false, and then it doesn't even give a story worthy of all the 'what if?'s.
It was utterly disappointing.
There were some moments that were interesting, but they were so scarce it felt like too little, too late. For a book that implies a necessary appreciation for the importance of Indigenous culture, it was told an awful lot from a white guy's point of view, and is predominantly about the discomfort of these white dudes. I HAD NO TIME FOR IT.
I'm just incredibly frustrated by how much this missed the mark. Maybe others more detail-oriented will appreciate it but for me it was too much about the author trying to make his own points rather than any kind of decent story.
If you are interested in a great story from the early days of Australian settlement, I'd highly recommend Preservation, my review of which can be found HERE I also want to link to a friend's review of Dark Emu because it provides some great insight into the book, as well as other resources to check out. You can read Patty's review HERE
With thanks and apologies to A&U who sent me an ARC to read and review...more
This book was so dull I literally fell asleep listening to it.
Plot: ... oh, wait. I don't think there is one. It's basically just a girl in a tree ramThis book was so dull I literally fell asleep listening to it.
Plot: ... oh, wait. I don't think there is one. It's basically just a girl in a tree rambling about her family for a ridiculously long time.
I opted for the audio on this one and honestly I don't think it really made a difference- I zoned out instead of having to just skim a whole lot. I'm not joking about falling asleep - I must have dozed through at least 20min of this book and still didn't feel like I'd missed anything.
The problem is that it's just a billion or so anecdotes from this girl's life featuring her two best friends, her mother, grandmother, aunts, etc. and all the details of their tiresome lives. Only it's not told in any logical kind of order - it's just the girl talking about whatever random thought she has next. A large part of the story focuses on how this one time a teacher told her she was a terrible writer and honestly I couldn't help but agree with the teacher. Maybe that's why this book was written so terribly? To lend it authenticity? Intentional or not, it did not work for me at all.
It flits between a bunch of random times in the past as well as the present where she's up a tree and flirting with this dude who works nearby. Their relationship is obviously important to the story but I just did not care one bit.
And that right there pretty much sums up my entire feelings about this book: I DID NOT CARE.
There are some dark themes about political unrest and defining freedom and all manner of violence and abuse, but they just could not hook me. I feel like the meat of a good story is here but the narrator ruins it by never letting you sit in those moments and feel anything. She just jumps straight back into that one time a teacher told her she was a terrible writer.
The bonus star is for the potential, and a ray of hope for people who have more patience than me. But for me it was mind-numbingly boring from start to finish.
If you're not hooked on the style after the first 50 pages, you may not want to bother. It honestly doesn't get much more dynamic, and there's no real chronology to it so if you're not interested straight away you're unlikely to become interested later.
I hope others get more out of it than I did, though....more
Look, this was probably more me than the book, but it's a tough call.
I was reading an e-copy, which meant it was already likely to be neglectDNF @ 30%
Look, this was probably more me than the book, but it's a tough call.
I was reading an e-copy, which meant it was already likely to be neglected, and unfortunately it just wasn't captivating enough to remind me to go back to it.
It's clearly ambitious, but for me it just seemed a little too messy and sprawling and it always took me a while to pick the thread back up. There are multiple viewpoints, and Kai has some issues that are so vague they're confusing more than intriguing.
Overall, it seemed to be trying a little too hard. It felt amateur and messy and crass. It was clunky and awkward in the way it set scenes and crafted dialogue, and on the whole just made me want to cringe a lot.
I did enjoy Mason's POV to a degree, because he seemed like an interesting character, but some of the scenes were so cliche it was embarrassing. Kai's attitude was overdone, and the girl was so bland I can't even remember her name or the point of her even being in this story.
Perhaps if I had a physical copy of this book it'd be easier to read, but I think it's just a little under-edited so I'd probably still end up cringing a lot as I skimmed my way through it. There really are a lot of cheesy moments and scenes and the whole thing came off as unbelievable.
There's promise in the idea, and the creation of the world, but the delivery was off. The characters are two-dimensional and the story is so vague that 30% in it seemed that nothing had really happened and I wasn't even curious about what was to come.
Others who have more patience than I (and a better track record with e-books) might appreciate this one a little more, and perhaps the reward is beyond the 30% mark. But for me there just hasn't been enough to hook me into reading further.
Where do I even begin with how terrible this book is?
I'm going to apologise right now to the author, because I'm not gonna be softeninSWEET JEEZUZ.
Where do I even begin with how terrible this book is?
I'm going to apologise right now to the author, because I'm not gonna be softening the blows here.
I mean, this is one of those things that might be GOOD simply because it's SO BAD.
I can't deny how immense my amusement was reading god-awful paragraphs of violence and gore and nonsense (see notes and highlights for examples).
The plot is basically a bunch of people dying under mysterious (supernatural) circumstances. It was hard to see how everything was related at first, and it was all pretty damn messy. People disappearing then turning up dead, mutilated bodies being found, psychic visions ... the plot was messier than that guy who had been skinned in chunks. There's a poor snake that is considered a suspect briefly because one dude is found with claw marks inside his throat?! I mean, how ...?!! *sigh*
There's also this bizarre overuse of full names? Everyone is so formal and full names are used on a regular basis. Erin Cross is almost never referred to as Erin, or Kyle's mother, or even 'she'. And I STILL couldn't keep track of who everyone was. But, to be fair, I skimmed a LOT. It was necessary. Unlike half of this book's words.
We've got play-by-play of pretty much every scene, and it's boring details. A lot of superfluous stuff and endless sentences with poor grammar. The style jumps around a bit which would be okay if it was done cleverly or even just clean but instead it adds to the messiness of the overall story.
The supernatural element is intriguing because the villain is so bizarre, but the psychic visions and the 'she just had a hunch/feeling/knowing' etc were ridiculous and painful.
Then you've got your basic continuity errors (eg: 'a single tear rolled down her face' followed closely by, 'she wiped the tears from her eyes') and pointless repetition (eg: 'she closed her laptop shut' ... 'grabbed her closed laptop' ... 'with her laptop under her arm' all in the same paragraph) and paragraphs of meaningless drivel and it's basically crying out for an editor. I had to choose between laughing or crying over this mess.
There's a unique monster here, but the story itself needs a lot of work to be readable. Then again, maybe I'm just still bitter about that one time I wrote a story that started with, 'They called him the Cat Skinner ...' which basically went downhill from there and my English teacher only gave me a C for it. THAT WAS LITERARY GOLD GODDAMMIT AND THIS GUY TOTALLY STOLE MY IDEA.
This is just not for me. Not even a little bit. I had so many issues it actually became painful to read. Even skimming wasn't DNF @ Page 229 (70%)
This is just not for me. Not even a little bit. I had so many issues it actually became painful to read. Even skimming wasn't helping. So onto my meagre DNF pile it goes.
Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I'm not the target audience for this. Younger kids are gonna love it. It's just not crossing the barrier into 'aimed at young kids but loved by all' like a few other series I've enjoyed.
Let me start with the good stuff: It's set in my hometown, Melbourne, so I loved all the location references. It's also about ghosts, which are cool.
That's all the pros for me.
Now, the kid at the centre of the story, Anton, is going to make or break this story for you. I found him completely obnoxious and the attempts at humour in this book were so incredibly painful to me. He's not funny. He's not cute. He's not sassy. He's just annoying. But if you dig the humour this book will be a solid win because that crap is NON STOP.
Rani - don't care. Bec - I like her but she's not in it nearly enough. Leon - ehhhhh.
The ghosts were actually the biggest let down, because it really did feel more Ghostbusters - comical and cartoonish rather than treated with any kind of respect. It bugged the hell out of me. I get that there was a story there about the passing of the ghosts etc but they're basically soulless monsters that either cry or ghost around terrifying people. But they're just nothings? I mean, you take away someone's personality and they're just ... ehhhh. I don't even have a word to describe the nothingness these ghosts were.
Also, there is so much time wasted with world-building/scene-setting that it's actually kind of slow and boring. There's some awkward flirting and 'research' and the occasional ghostly interaction but it's mostly pages and pages and pages of the questionable nature of ghosts, of ghost hunting, of researching ghosts, of ghost hunter families, of the history of everything ... just get to some action PLEASE.
Honestly, this was just not my jam at all.
As mentioned, though, if you enjoy the humour, you'll enjoy the ride.
Far too much on the young side for me but I'm hoping my 10 year old nephew will get a kick out of it....more
I honestly have no fking clue what the hell just happened.
Alright, look.
I wasn't really sure what this book was about, going into it, and I'm not entiI honestly have no fking clue what the hell just happened.
Alright, look.
I wasn't really sure what this book was about, going into it, and I'm not entirely sure I know much better on the other side of it.
Here's what the blurb says: Sixteen-year-old sisters Maddy and Catlin have just moved to the isolated Irish town of Ballyfrann. Normally close, they find their paths diverging, as Catlin falls in love and Maddy falls ... into powers?
My run down would be similar, but I would expand on Maddy's powers being rather witchy (the fact that every chapter is a plant/herb/flower and its medicinal use is a bit of a hint) and also isolated Ballyfrann being a fkn WEIRD place.
To be perfectly honest, I was pretty bored for the first 200-odd pages, and did a fair bit of skimming. There's a lot of info about how close the sisters (twins, btw) are and how they're having a hard time fitting in, although Maddy is the weird one and Catlin is the popular one. There's a lot of random boring school stuff (which actually doesn't seem to involve any kind of classes), and the older boy that Catlin is interested in hangs out at the school so much that I was trying to figure out if I'd accidentally skipped over the explanation of why this older kid is still a student there (he's not, he's just a creeper who hangs out at the school). There are conversations between the kids that I really didn't care about, and the relationships are so watery and pale and lifeless that I just didn't care anything about them.
As for the characters, I just couldn't really get a read on any of them, except for Lon who was just a creep from the beginning. Did not like him a single bit. Maddy is quirky but she spends so much time focusing on boring things that reading from her POV is super dull. Catlin is the typical 'popular sister' who cares more about boys than her sister even though she professes this to be false. Oona was ehhhh and aside from being French didn't really have much of a personality at all, and Mamo is clearly batsh*t insane and could have been a lot of fun but was basically wasted on Maddy's ramblings. I don't think any of them were really described particularly well, so I never got a feel for who they were or what was driving them. It was a bit disappointing because I feel like there was a lot of potential that was wasted.
So here's me reading this totally boring tween story about fitting in and then there's suddenly random dead animals? Just lying on the side of the road? With no explanation? This is not a spoiler, this happens like on Day 1, and it's just so chill that it's a non-event? That confused me so much.
Here's the deal - most of this book is entirely dull and lifeless but then you get all these random super dark moments and it's like you're reading an entirely different story. I freaking LOVED the dark stuff but it was so jarring and awkward!
There was just so much wasted potential with this story, and the way it ended it felt like it'd just been setting the whole scene for an epic series of witchy adventures but ... it's a standalone? If I'm wrong about that someone please correct me, because the only way this book makes sense is if it's setting up for a series. On it's own its just ... a mess.
Spoiler thoughts: (view spoiler)[ -Turns out the whole town is full of 'weird' people. Eg. The Collinses are shape-shifters. Why make a town full of strange creatures and then not use any of them?! What a waste! -Mamo turned out to be kind of a villain at the end? Yet the whole way through, Maddy constantly turns to her for help/advice. The relationship between the two is just super confusing. -The whole deal with their mum and dad. The whole, secret witchy past. Why not give us the details? This is one of the things that had me mystified about it being a standalone. So many unanswered questions! And what the heck did that ending even mean?! -What Lon did to Catlin was PROPER PSYCHO. Yet I am confused. We never really find out what he was, why he did what he did, what the deal was with the other girls, and exactly why he was able to get away with everything for so long? YOU HAVE SHAPESHIFTERS IN YOUR TOWN. Surely there should be someone who could hunt this mofo down?? -Catlin's praying and Mary obsession? I am confused. What was the point? -The entire castle has lots of secret passageways etc but, again, we never get to explore them. What's the point?? -Goddamn when Maddy grabbed that kitten, I was bloody nearly having kittens myself! Finally some super dark, macabre action! But jeezuz that was a dark moment. I did not see it coming at all! That single moment scored the bonus star for this book. -How long was that ending? It was drawn out for so many extra, pointless chapters. EUGH, the POINTLESSNESS of it all. (hide spoiler)]
Everything about the way this ended had me convinced it was setting up for a series. I didn't even like this book all that much and I want a sequel. Without a sequel, this whole thing was just pointless.
So in summary it was kinda boring and pointless but it did have some super dark and bizarre moments that kept me entertained, even if I was scratching my head a lot by the end of it. If there's no sequel to this mess, however, it was basically just 352 pages of wasted potential.
If I am wrong, though, and there is a sequel, I WANT IT....more
Everything about this book madI'd just like to begin with ...
ARE YOU FKING KIDDING ME??
and then follow that up with ...
THANK GOD THIS TORTURE IS OVER.
Everything about this book made me so mad and I don't even know how to properly express my rage. Buckle up, kids, it's going to be a bumpy rant.
Firstly, are we all aware by now that my favourite book of all time is The Three Musketeers? That's vital information. Here's an excerpt from my review of The Vicomte de Bragelonne to give you an idea of my obsession:
The Musketeers are officially my bros, and when I read about them I imagine them as friends, which means I feel their experiences that much more significantly. I laugh out loud, I grin, I gasp, I tear up, I bite my lip and I'm pretty sure if I had a moustache I would twist it. This series gives me a very serious case of feelings.
Naturally, this Musketeer obsession leads me to read anything I get my hands on that's even closely related, and this book here is even dedicated to Dumas and the '73 and '74 films inspired by The Three Musketeers (TTM).
So here's the set up: Set in a world that slightly mirrors historic France, angels are controlled by people and basically used as slaves. Lilliath is a psychopath who did something bad, went to sleep for 137 years or so and now she's awake to finish what she started. Somehow her goal is tied to the fates of four random individuals: Henri, Simeon, Agnez and Dorotea, and there is a high chance I'm spelling all of these names wrong because they're stupid variations of normal names and I'm too damn lazy to check the spelling.
Things I hated: -The names -The over-attempt to make this a feminist novel -Angels being no more than slaves -Extensive world-building that was mostly confusing -The story was kind of bland and also confusing -Random awkward sexual tension -Issues like racism barely addressed -THIS DID NOT EVEN COME CLOSE TO THE THREE MUSKETEERS. All it did was steal a handful of characters, make them female, and then completely corrupt their essence.
Here's an example:
Rochefort. In TTM, he is d'Artagnan's nemesis. They get into it, and they're both skilled fighters, but Rochefort is totally ruthless and cunning and spends the novel doing the Cardinal's dirty work. He's a very clear villain. In this novel, the female Rochefort is the general of the female Cardinal and definitely does her dirty work, but she spends most of this novel being 'poor misunderstood me' and mooning over Dorotea. We are told she's a skilled fighter but this book is more interested in her trying to get into Dorotea's pants.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Characters/Names Firstly, the original names are ridiculous. They just didn't suit and I got them pretty mixed up because they weren't really memorable for a while. I mean who even is Henri? What did he do? Why was he here? Then you've got all the characters lifted from TTM. They're ALL female, now, too. The Cardinal, Rochefort, d'Artagnan. Milady. I think our four friends are somehow supposed to represent the original four musketeers but there are no similarities AT ALL, other than Agnez being a hothead. The angels all blend together and they are in and out of the story so fast they're not worth caring about anyway. Then the place names just made me cringe. Dumas's d'Artagnan was a Gascon; these 'musketeers' are 'Bascons' (so creative). It was such a bastard mix of 'inspired by' TTM and blatantly stolen. Everything that made me love the characters of TTM was completely absent here.
Feminism etc Look I am all for feminism but this novel was trying way too hard. And not just with feminism. There's a scene where they all get naked together because no one cares about nudity, and the book has more emphasis on same sex couples than hetero. We got told what colour skin everyone has (and it's normally a shade of brown) and all of the best warriors and most powerful characters are women. Representation is great and all, but this just feels cheap. It's like it's going out of it's way to tell you how accepting and open-minded it is, but there's way too much emphasis on it for it to seem normal. I love badass female characters, but there was just no logic to it. It took equality and ran the other way with it, so that the men in this story are soft characters being manipulated by women. Meanwhile there's the 'refusers' who are this book's version of slaves, and it doesn't discuss this issue nearly enough. Points for trying, buddy, but delivery of the themes in this novel would be a D minus.
The Angels Speaking of barely-addressed slavery, the angels in this book are RUBBISH. There are different tiers of power (thank god for the guide at the front because when they started talking about Thrones I was totally confused) but even the all-powerful archangels are slaves to humans? There are also so many of them that it was pointless keeping track of them all. They might as well have been little fairies or sprites or something. Because they are WEAK. This was such an incredibly disappointing aspect of the story.
World Building vs Story The problem is, he spent so much time building the world that there just wasn't enough time for a decent story. It was thin and pathetic and really confusing, and there was no real drive to the action. The connection between the four is tenuous and there doesn't seem to be a lot of point to anything. The world-building is extensive, but there is so much of it that it just gets tedious. Throw in that ending and this is basically a pointless, disappointing book.
Conclusion Look, this is a book that tries so hard to be so many things that it ends up being a mess. It shares some similarities with The Three Musketeers, but it wants to be its own story, too, so it just ends up being a confusing mix of familiar things and completely unrelated magic. There's no real emotion to it anywhere, and the characters don't have any real redeeming qualities. While TTM was based heavily on friendship, loyalty and daring, these 'friends' are a newly formed group, they bicker, they're greedy and ill-mannered and generally don't have strong redeeming qualities to help up overlook this. The musketeers are more of a gratuitous mention than any kind of symbol, and Lilliath is more a sulky, emotional, psychopath teenager than the cunning, skilled assassin the original Milady was. There is so much effort put into making this a story that accepts everyone and everything that there's no real tension to it. There's no struggle. Zero emotional ties to anyone or anything.
I honestly don't know how people unfamiliar with The Three Musketeers are gonna view this one. Maybe you'll have a more enjoyable time because you won't have to witness some of your favourite characters being murdered by creative license. But this was agony for me.
Originally I gave it a generous two stars on finishing, because the beastlings (another creative name) were interesting, but I gotta take that back. My heart is hurting too much. This was an absolute abomination and a shame to the musketeer name. Just read the fking original, honestly....more
Just gonna pat myself on the back for finishing this one because it was a FKN DRAINER.
Please note: I see a lot of merit in this book. I can see peJust gonna pat myself on the back for finishing this one because it was a FKN DRAINER.
Please note: I see a lot of merit in this book. I can see people absolutely falling in love with it and raving non-stop. So please consider how different everyone's tastes are while you read the forthcoming rant on how much this book bored me to tears.
So. Here we go.
The blurb: City girl Elise marries country boy Bill and they end up moving back to (The) Mallee to help with Pa on the family farm. Elise struggles in this unfamiliar world and it leads to her neglecting her daughters, Ruby and Marjorie. Then, tragedy. Marjorie runs away, but then 'the boy she loves draws her back to the land she can't forget ...'
Now let me burst your bubble right here and now and let you know that 'tragedy' doesn't strike until bloody 240 pages into this novel, meaning I had to wade through 65% of the book's monotony and repetition before that even happened. NOTHING UPSETS ME MORE THAN WHEN THE BLURB IS ACTUALLY THE ENTIRE STORY OUTLINE. This is not about Marjorie having a rough childhood, then escaping it, then being inexplicably drawn back. This is about crazy old Elise and how her batsh*t insane antics create a problematic childhood for Marjorie and her sister.
Literally over 250 pages of how crazy Elise is, and how Marjorie rebels, and how the fkn Mallee is a thing that is unforgiving and blah, blah, blah. EVERYTHING in this book is humanised and it got real old real fast (See my reading update that includes the quote about the table). These are the judgiest mother fkn objects I've ever encountered in my LIFE. Curtains, doors, stove tops, tables, kettles ... EVERYTHING has a bloody opinion. THANKS BUT NO THANKS. I didn't come here to listen to the opinions of a freaking tea cosy.
Elise is completely off her rocker, and that's the heart of this story. This will be why so many will love it, but also why I found it so frustratingly dull. Because her descent into madness is detailed minutely, and it is so very gradual. This is a really important consideration of mental illness, and how debilitating it can be, and how it can impact the lives of others, which is great and all but I just didn't have time for it. I'm a pretty clever girl, so I don't need the message pounded into me for 250-odd pages. I GET IT. And the writing style, while clever and unique, did absolutely nothing for me, so I found it rubbing me raw where others will likely marvel and appreciate slowly. I AM NOT GOOD AT SLOW.
The character exploration is of course brilliant. The depths this book delves into these lives is thorough and believable and this is a pretty accurate gathering of country bumpkins. Pa is such a stereotype, I LOVE IT. The cursing in this book is so entertaining - everyone familiar with Alf from Home and Away? There's not a single regular swear word in here, but it's a big feature of the story. Let's put it this way: if Elise from this book were to read this review of mine, I'd be in a big bloody pile of steaming cow manure. This is a very real portrayal of people living in a town that has its own mood swings, and of how not fitting in in such a small society can waste away one's spirit. I may have been bored to tears by the way it was told, but it is a pretty brutal, real story.
So here's my summary: -The writing style did nothing for me but it's clever and unique so likely to please those who enjoy slowly digesting words -The characters are brilliantly explored, so this is a perfect read for those who would like to experience true blue, fair dinkum Aussie characters in a typical Aussie country town setting -The story is an important one about the progression of mental illness and how it manifests physically, but is far too long and tedious for those who like a fair pace with their stories -The blurb is entirely misleading, and will make you believe more will happen in the book than what actually does
Not my cup of coffee in the slightest, but definitely one for lovers of Australian fiction who enjoy the slow appreciation of words and ideas. This book is one that will definitely transport you to The Mallee - I was just keen to get back home.
With thanks to Macmillan for a copy to read and review....more
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