I think Kristen Ashley's alpha assholes are the picture of mansplaining. Reading one of her books will send feminists into homicidal rages, and[image]
I think Kristen Ashley's alpha assholes are the picture of mansplaining. Reading one of her books will send feminists into homicidal rages, and would even be good propaganda material to recruit for the cause.
Here is a typical conversation in a KA book:
Girl: I really need to talk to you about your actions last night. When you grabbed me by the wrist and threw me against the wall, it really hurt. I had to go to the hospital after you finally let me leave this morning and -
Guy: Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed.
Girl: Would you please let me finish! I can't continue this abusive relationship! I am breaking -
Guy: A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Girl: Guy, listen to -
Guy: And then one day he was shootin at some food,
Girl: Guy!!!
Guy: And up through the ground come a bubblin crude.
Girl: Okay. Whatever you say. You are so much smarter than me. I will have sex with you now.
Alright, I admit that maybe the guy isn't exactly reciting the theme song from the '70's TV show, The Beverly Hillbillies, but he might as well be. Because it doesn't really matter what he says, the point is that he's right and she's wrong. In everything. In this book, our male "hero" explains to his woman why she shouldn't have her own feelings about her period. She's in her late 30's.
That's right. Our man mansplained menstruation to a woman!
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Another common thread is that the male alphas typically think their female is "cute" when she's angry. So, when the woman is angry because he has done or said something extremely horrible (which is often), the man will typically laugh or decide to force sexual advances on her. He can't help himself! She's sexy when she's mad!
You know what else is cute when mad? Babies. We, as their parents see those little face bottom lips go out and it's so adorable.
[image] See? That's cute!
Do we consider babies our intellectual equals? No. Do we think that our opinion means more than a baby's? Of course. Do we make babies do what we need them to do despite their complaints? Yes. They have to go to bed at night, allow us to change their diaper - even if we have to hold them down, and get dressed - even though it means that we have to manipulate their arms and legs into the clothing for them.
The problem is that the men typically do all of the above to their women. The woman is below the man in every way. Her opinion is unimportant compared to his. She is forced to have physical contact with him against her will. She is constantly being manipulated by him in every way.
And, the conversations between the characters is excruciating! Here is a snippet from the book. Let's see if you can get through it without wanting to kill someone:
"Why?" he asked. "Why?" she repeated. "yes. Why?" "Layne, I'm not sure we should -" "Why?" "I really don't want to talk about - " "Why?" "Layne!" He leaned in to get his face close to hers. "Why?" he repeated. "Why do you want to know?" she shot back. "Because I do," he answered.
I bet you find that conversation irritating, huh? Well, the book is filled with these little ditties. Pages and pages of them. Seriously, if these type of exchanges were omitted from the book, it would probably shrink it in half.
And, in this book we had a "hero" with teenage sons. God help us all! He thinks it is perfectly acceptable for his 14-yr old and 17-yr old sons to say "fuck" around him and his woman. His oldest son is a complete manwhore and he is all proud of him with a "that's my boy" attitude until the son meets "the right girl". Then, he tells his son that he has to treat her right and not step out on her. Well, of course! Those other teen girls that his son screwed are not deserving of respect or decency! Only "the right girl" deserves to be treated well. The rest of those girls deserved to be screwed and screwed over. They deserved to have their hearts broken and hopes unfulfilled. What a bunch of sluts they must have been to have allowed the most popular boy in school, the football hero of the town, sweet-talk them into sex.
[image] Time to man-up and drink a beer, boy!
He also decides that his 14-yr old son will work undercover against a pedophile who is running a sex ring. This is the same pedophile that he refuses to allow his woman to even talk to because he is so dangerous. So, in other words, an adult woman is less capable of keeping herself safe than a 14-yr old boy? Evidently.
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Of course, his ex-wife is a bitch. A dumb bitch. So, any problems she has with his style of parenting is just too bad. He is the man. He is the fathering genius. Sure, he was gone for the first 12 years of their lives while she had to do it all alone, but he's around now. That means that he is in charge. Stand back, women!! A man is here now! He'll take it from here.
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So, even though I have had an awesome time reading these books with all of my reading buddies in the BBB group, I don't know if I can go on. I get way too stabby when I read these. I live in a home with two sons and a husband and I am just not sure if I can keep a male alive in my home when I read these books. Anything with a penis is in danger around me right now.
Just shoot me. This fucking book! I wanted to murder the main guy. He is an alpha asshole for the alpha asshole museum. And, the book was 1,400 pages Just shoot me. This fucking book! I wanted to murder the main guy. He is an alpha asshole for the alpha asshole museum. And, the book was 1,400 pages on my e-reader. That's a long time to hate someone. I think my blood pressure took a hit during this reading. I need wine.
Okay, so we have Violet, a widow with two teenage daughters, and Joe, an asshole who lives next door. They have a not-so-nice meeting where Joe acts like a total jerk. Later, he comes up to her at the local bar while she's drunk and decides to take advantage of that fact. You know how you read these romances and the lead male character is all noble and shit and refuses to sleep with the drunk girl? Yeah, this guy isn't noble at all. Even when she says she's not on the pill, and he doesn't have condoms, he says, "Fuck it" and has sex with this drunk woman who can barely stand up anyway.
What a hero! How romantic! Isn't he awesome?
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After a couple of nights of booty calls, he cuts her loose in the most humiliating way possible. After this happens, she avoids him - you know, like a normal human would do. And, she's pissed off - again, a human-like reaction. So, good old Joe calls her a bitch. Yup, he's that awesome. I know what you are thinking, girls, "Where can I find a great guy like this?" I'm thinking you can go to any prison or biker bar and find guys of this caliber.
[image] This guy might be available. And, he's better than Joe.
So, Violet moves on and meets another guy, Mike. Mike is normal. He asks her on a date. He gives her time to see where her head is at. He treats her with decency and doesn't even cuss her out. What a loser!! So, of course she goes back to screwing Joe.
They've got a great situation worked out. Mike takes Violet out on nice dates and drops her off at home with a goodnight kiss, then she goes over to Joe's house and has sex with him. Joe is cool with this arrangement. He doesn't have to do the work, but gets the payoff. Violet is cool with this. She's obviously a low-class slut. Mike.... well, Mike doesn't actually know about this. What Mike doesn't know won't hurt him, right?
So, at this point I'm thinking Violet deserves Joe. They are both a couple of assholes.
[image] Two for one special here!
Aside from the horrible horrible couple in this book, it was also just waaaay too long. It dragged on and on with angst and break-ups and fights and dramatic bullshit until I wanted to burn the world down just to get rid of this book. Seriously. I considered the Witness Protection Program to get out of this buddy-read.
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But, my friends at BBB make the torture of these KA books worth it, so of course I will be ready for our next book. I'm such a masochist!...more
Another KA buddy-read with the crazy chicks at the BBB group. If you want to join a really fun group, and you're a little neurotic, we are here for yoAnother KA buddy-read with the crazy chicks at the BBB group. If you want to join a really fun group, and you're a little neurotic, we are here for you!
[image] And, then join the Buddies Books and Baubles group!
So, we read these Kristen Ashley books and they all have a sort of feel to them. There is always an alpha-male who may or may not be pushing the boundaries of assholeness. There is always some sort of danger that the female gets into. The females have a tendency to whisper. (I don't know why.). There is always at least one kidnapping. Outfits are described and often songs are mentioned. And, insta-love abounds. If you can deal with all of that, you will have fun because there is also always humor.
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This book has a second-chance love story. Our heroes are actually kind of old for the genre - 42 & 44, but have known each other since they were 3 & 5 years old. They were high school sweethearts, but suddenly broke up when he was in college and we don't learn the reason why for a good part of the book. And, believe me, it's annoying because a conversation or two would have fixed it. But, noooo, they both married other people and went about their lives apart for over 20 years.
[image] misunderstandings always cause great pain!
So, we have Colt/Alec who is a detective, and February who is the part-owner of a bar. They avoid each other at all costs until a murder brings them back together. The murderer is fixated on February and Colt intends on keeping her safe.
As one security expert puts it: "It would suck you two finally being back together only for one of you to end up hacked up with a hatchet."
That would put a damper on things. Thank you, Captain Obvious!
So, we have a pretty good crime story with a creepy killer, and the romance going on. I enjoyed both parts of it because this alpha-guy wasn't a big ole asshole for once. And, the murderer guy was pretty evil and sick. I like sick and evil. Sometimes the bad guy will only kill one person, or be someone who kills for reasons. I can't really sink my teeth into those kind. I want a villain who is going to be seriously screwed-up and bloodthirsty. If we are going for a bad guy, go all the way. Make me happy that the book is fiction!
[image] I know! It's so hard to get good evil minions these days!
Because of the great bad guy, and the non-asshole alpha, this was probably one of my favorite KA books. I'm excited to continue the series....more
The last book in the Rock Chick series that I have been reading with my BBB buddies for months now and it's bittersweet. Sweet because I'm sick to deaThe last book in the Rock Chick series that I have been reading with my BBB buddies for months now and it's bittersweet. Sweet because I'm sick to death of the alpha assholes that KA writes. I really want to bash some of their heads in. A favorite past-time of mine is to re-write the stories with the worst alpha jerks in my head where they get their asses kicked by the females until they have to beg for mercy and lick my their women's shoes. I like to imagine that the female lead character simply tells the guy to fuck off and then never sees him again.... I'll miss those fantasies. But, it's time to move on.
[image] good times...
As for the bitter part - well, after reading the last paragraph, I guess that's me. I don't want some of them to have happy endings with these weak-willed females. I want them to have horrible endings where strong females teach them about a thing called reality.
[image] Now, that's a happy ending!
The good news is that this book did not make me as stabby as usual. Ren, the male, was sometimes insufferable, but was mostly a good guy. He actually did something that would have made him have to give up his "man-card" if the other guys in this series found out: he apologized when he was wrong. It's crazy, right? I thought I was reading the wrong book for a minute there.
[image] The best apologies come in cake form. You'd be surprised at how often I have to make this cake.
Ally, the heroine, has been a great character throughout the series and we have been waiting for her HEA. She is strong and not willing to compromise her life for the desires of a man. I liked that she was unwilling to make both of them unhappy by giving up her dreams for him. In the end, that spells disaster.
[image] no wonder they handed out Valium like candy back then!
There was one weird thing in this book though. The book gave itself its own cameo appearance. I found that off-putting. Part of the story was that there was a book published about them called Rock Chicks by Kristen Ashley. Even the covers were described as they are. I don't know about everyone else, but I like to disappear into fantasyland when I read so the last thing I want to do is to have the book pull me out of the story to advertise itself. And, the fact that they didn't know who wrote it was kind of lame. These people are supposedly these investigative geniuses and couldn't figure out who among them might have been selling their story? Because, I figured it out before I even finished reading the sentence about a book. Duh!
[image] They need Captain Obvious to work for Nightingale Investigations!
All in all, though ,this was a fun story with the unusual addition of a likable male lead, so I was happy enough. Well, as happy as I get.
If there is one major talent that Kristen Ashley has, it is writing a great asshole lead character. She is famous for her 'alphas', and I'm famous forIf there is one major talent that Kristen Ashley has, it is writing a great asshole lead character. She is famous for her 'alphas', and I'm famous for hating alpha-assholes. Don't get me wrong, I love a good sweet and kind alpha. Maybe we just have different ideas on what an alpha should be like. I think of a character who is strong, self-assured, a leader, and a protector. But, so often I read books where the guy is abusive - physically, emotionally, and sexually - and they get away with it because they are just an 'alpha'.
[image] if you have to ask yourself that question then the answer is definitely B.
So, in this book, we have a douchebag named Chace who is a cop in a small town. He has always liked the town librarian, Faye, and runs into her one night at a park. Well, Chace doesn't think Faye should be out at night so he tells her to 'get her fat ass home'. Sorry, girls, he's taken now!
Faye is a librarian, a sexy librarian, a virgin because Chace needs his goods clean, and a book-loving geek. I'm down with the book-loving geek thing! But, just because we have our noses stuck in books, does that mean we are mousy doormats? Considering the fiery reviews we all leave, I'm thinking that we are major badasses, (at least in our minds). We put ourselves in the position of the kickass heroine who can take out the bad guys with our swords and still look amazing. Sure, we may not actually be able to do it, but we think we can! And, that means we can throw some major shade when we want to.
[image] that's right, you go girl!!
Unfortunately, though, we bookworms are always put in the mousy category, and Faye is as mousy as can be. She doesn't even actually speak during most of the book. She whispers. That's right, she's so meek that she can't bring herself to use even her indoor voice.
[image] Unengage it, Faye! We can't hear what you're bloody saying!
So, Faye, our mousy virgin librarian, still thinks that Chace is da bomb. He calls her names, insults her , screams in her face, throws her belongings across the room and breaks them, belittles her (because if she reads, she lives in a fantasy world), pushes her around, and makes major decisions for her without her input. But, no matter what he does, she puts up with it and looks at him like he's the last piece of pizza.
Which brings me to the most annoying part of this book: these two horrible human beings eat pizza with a knife and fork! If there is any evidence that Chace is a poor excuse for a man, it is this. You know who else ate pizza with a knife and fork? Hitler. That's right, I'm saying Chace is just like Hitler. That is in no way an overstatement.
Other than the guy being Hitler, I liked the book....more
Every weekend I join the cool-girls in the BBB group and read a Kristen Ashley book with them. And, every weekend, I rant about how the alpha-males arEvery weekend I join the cool-girls in the BBB group and read a Kristen Ashley book with them. And, every weekend, I rant about how the alpha-males are complete assholes. It's a tradition that I enjoy - like the tradition of dying Easter eggs. Sure, you have to deal with the smell of boiled eggs and vinegar, the mess of little cups of dye all over the table that never seems to come off, and the annoyance of trying to figure out something to do with all of those dyed eggs later (blue and pink egg salad anyone?), but you'd never consider skipping it because of the fun you have with your fellow egg-dyers. The BBB girls are my fellow egg-dyers, so bring on the stinky mess!
See, Kristen Ashley books have a formula:
a total caveman alpha whose behavior borders on abuse and at times even criminal
a female who is skittish about being involved with this man for various reasons (none of them being that he is a pushy asshole for some reason. More like 'I'm not pretty enough for him' *eye roll*)
a crime that is complicated and directly involves the couple
at least one kidnapping - possibly more
a gay guy
a zany character who steals the show
at least one break-up
and tons of interruptions and misunderstandings between the couple.
These things are in every book. If you haven't had a kidnapping yet, it's coming. It's always coming.
So, in this book we have Ty, a guy who is getting out of prison after serving 5 years for a crime he didn't commit; and Lexie, a girl who picks him up from prison as a favor to her ex-boyfriend's friend. Ty has spent his 5 years in prison plotting revenge on the people who set him up. He needs a wife who will be his alibi and have his back if the bad guys try to frame him again. He offers Lexie 50 grand to play wife to him. She is no fool and agrees.
Of course they fall in love. We have learned that these kind of situations always turn out that way in books and movies.
The book was fun and action filled. Lexie and Ty were a very cute couple. And, here's the thing - I actually liked Ty! He is the first guy in this series that I have actually liked. Except, one big thing: he has a mouth on him that is so crude that I wanted to smack him. I get that he was in prison, but come on! That was my only problem with this guy, though, and that's saying a lot for a KA book. If we could take all of the times he uses those horrible words for women and replace them with "ladies", "girls", "gals", or even "females", I would have been a happy camper.
[image] That's right, gay man. You know how to treat a lady!...more
Tate, the "hero" of the book, is a total dick. After he first meets our girl, he calls her a "sorry-ass, old, fat, suburban bitch." Then, when he realiTate, the "hero" of the book, is a total dick. After he first meets our girl, he calls her a "sorry-ass, old, fat, suburban bitch." Then, when he realizes that she overheard him say that, he tells her to "shake it off" because he was in a bad mood. Poor Lauren!
If I had a dollar for every time his words in his voice popped into my head and made me flinch the last two days, I could move to the Riviera. They even woke me up in the middle of the night.
Well, later he decides he likes her and kisses her. He then leaves town for a month without contacting her at all during that time. So, she moves on with her life. She starts working out, gets her hair done, loses weight, and even finds a NICE man that she starts dating. But, then Tate comes back. And, he's pissed (as usual - Tate spends his life angry).
"You looked better before, Ace. Now you just look like all the rest."
Oh, really?? So, when you called her "old, fat, and sorry-assed", you meant that you were attracted to her? Well, it's a wonder that a sweet-talker like you isn't married!! Who wouldn't want a catch like Mr. Charm?
Well, I guess the answer to that is Lauren. She wants him. The biker who treats her like a doormat half the time and a scapegoat for his anger the other half. I may be a pessimist, but Lauren is a masochist. She let her first husband make her feel bad about herself and now she picks this gem. Have fun letting a guy make you feel like dirt for the rest of your life, girl!
I've never actually watched one of those Lifetime movies that are dramatic and sappy, but I imagine that this is what they are like. Along with an impI've never actually watched one of those Lifetime movies that are dramatic and sappy, but I imagine that this is what they are like. Along with an improbable romance, there are kidnappings, suicide attempts, bar fights, abusive men, murders, and alien babies. (okay, maybe not the alien babies. Too bad because that would have been awesome! oh, oh, how about alien twin babies and one of them is an evil twin? Yes! I love evil twins!)
This book is about Nina, an American girl who has spent most of her life in England and is engaged to a boring guy who doesn't care about her, and Max, an alpha Colorado mountain man who owns the cabin that Nina rented to get away from it all and decide if she really wants to marry Mr. Boring Dud. (I'm guessing "no".)
Nina shows up at her rental cabin and finds out that there was a mistake and the owner, Max, is at home. He's a dick, she leaves, and promptly crashes her car into a ditch. Thanks a lot for making us women drivers look bad, Nina!!
[image] I bet she makes a great sandwich, though...
Max saves her, and immediately she gets sick, so he keeps her at the cabin and nurses her back to health.
Okay, that's really sweet, BUT, he also decides to undress her - including her bra, while she is asleep, to help. Ummm, dude, are you a nurse? Is my bra being on life-threatening? No? Then, hands-off motherfucker! No verbal consent means no touchy the goodies!
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Interestingly enough, Max has many young female friends that he considers like sisters to him. Why didn't he call one of them over to undress a woman he doesn't know who is definitely wearing an engagement ring? Hmmmm, good question. I don't want to call him Chester the Molester or anything, but... well, I just did. I can live with myself.
Max must have liked the merchandise that he so creepily leered at while Nina was unconscious because when she is well, he tells her that he has taken the keys to her rental car and will not allow her to leave. He also called the only taxi service in town and told them not to pick her up if she called for help a ride. And, as I mentioned, this cabin is in a remote area of the woods....
[image] Director: this is the perfect setting for a cutesy rom-com!
Isn't this romantic? Don't answer that. Because, you see, Max is hot, so this is all good. If he were old or ugly, this would be horrible and terrifying. But, he's hot. So,,,,, you know. It's cute and sweet - not a felony kidnapping and sexual molestation charge.
Okay, but this is Kristen Ashley. All of her books have this kind of thing going on. It's fiction. I just have to keep reminding myself of this and then I can enjoy her books. Because, the woman sure does write some great characters, funny dialogue, and hilarious situations. If you can get past the almost criminally pushy main male characters, you will have a blast reading her books.
Will I keep reading her books? Probably. Will I keep complaining about the overbearing alpha males that she writes? Definitely. What can I say? I apparently like to complain. Who knew? (Don't answer that!)...more
So, I took a little break from the Rock Chick series in order to let my Buddy Group catch up with me. Also, I needed a break from the alpha males in tSo, I took a little break from the Rock Chick series in order to let my Buddy Group catch up with me. Also, I needed a break from the alpha males in them. Most of you know me as an alpha female because I am, so sometimes it's hard for me to swallow all of the alpha male crap that other people find romantic. I don't find pushy, aggressive men attractive. I do, however, like men who are assertive, confident, and protective. It's a fine line and the Rock Chick guys cross over it a little too much for my tastes.
All that said, I thought Hector was a much better hero than some of the past guys like Mace and Eddie. He was really careful with Sadie because she had been raped. BUT, once he got comfortable, he did piss me off when he told her that she couldn't dress how she wanted because she needed to cover herself up as his woman. And, later, after he gets in a bar fight with some guy who says something about Sadie, he blamed her way of dressing. But, the guy had known Sadie for a long time and had been having dirty thoughts about her for years. Does that mean that Sadie's outfit was to blame (she showed a little cleavage - gimme a break)? Hector used that guy's dickery to try and control Sadie. And, then he blamed her, which is shaming her. It's the oldest story in the world when women's clothing is an excuse for men's bad behavior. It's just wrong. So wrong...
[image] Yes!! You tell them, girlfriend!
Okay, and now let's talk about using rape as a plot device. Don't.
[image] There is way too much rape, threats of rape, almost rapes, and rapey talk in these books. Please stop!
And, finally, my last complaint: Sadie's use of the expression "Blooming Heck". First off, I don't think that's a thing.
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I've never heard an American use "blooming" as an adjective in general, but "blooming heck" makes it even worse. Stupider. More Stupid. Blooming Stupid. And, she says it a lot. Like at least once a page. Just stop!
Okay, now the things I liked, cuz there were a few things.
First, I thought that Hector was actually pretty sweet and kind for the first half of the book. He didn't even try to kiss Sadie for a long time because he didn't want her to feel pushed and didn't want the rape PTSD to activate. He gave her time and space, and would ask her permission before he touched her. That gave him points (before he lost them on the telling her how to dress thing).
Second, we got some new characters in Ralphie and Buddy, Sadie's gay friends. They were more than awesome and super supportive of her. She felt like she had nobody who cared about her, but they did. She really just wouldn't allow anyone to get close. They swooped in after she was attacked and gave her what she needed to heal. They brought in a rape crisis counselor, but never pushed her. They allowed her to heal in her own time. They were amazing! I want to be their friend!
Finally, the whole Rock Chick world has developed and I love that we are seeing these relationships grow. There are lots of weddings and babies these days. I am just waiting for the next book to get Ally's story. Also, I wish there would have been a book that had Darius's story, but I think this series is done. That's a shame because he is definitely interesting.
Based on just the romance between Roxie and Hank, this would have been a one-star story for me. What saved it is all of the side characters, as usual,Based on just the romance between Roxie and Hank, this would have been a one-star story for me. What saved it is all of the side characters, as usual, and the awesomeness that is Roxie's parents.
Plus Luke. Gimme, gimme, gimme [image]
Okay, so what's my problem? It was too much. Too fast. Too pushy. Too creepily alpha-y. See, there is a formula for these books: Boy alpha decides he wants girl, drags her back to his place, holds her captive while she tries to escape him, forces her to accept a relationship with him. [image]
That worked out fine in the first book because Indy and Lee had known each other all of their lives and she had been in love with him forever. It was cute that he was being all forceful about the fact that it was time for them to get together. They knew each other better than anyone else, moving fast was fine. Eddie and Jet were a little too fast, but they had a mutual attraction for about a month before things got intense. But, this Hank and Roxie romance? It was just too much. Too much!! He meets her, asks her out on a date for the next night and she says no. He grabs her and kisses her, without her consent. He then tells her that they ARE going on a date and that, as a cop, he will track her down if she tries to escape said date. Then!! Then, he takes her out on a date and refuses to take her home afterwards but informs her that she will be sleeping with him at his house. She says "no" several times, but he forces himself on her. But, all this is okay because she enjoyed the sex and he's hot. Hmmm...... I'm not so sure I like this message. She explicitly told this guy "no" over and over again, but he continued pursuing her, to the point of having non-consensual sex and not allowing her to leave his house after this sex either, all while threatening her if she tried to get away. Let's say for a minute, that she was serious, and meant the words that came out of her mouth. She said "no" to the date, asked to be taken home after being bullied into the date, said "no" to the sex, tried to leave by calling a cab after the sex, and tried to not see him again or have any kind of relationship with him. These are the facts and the words that she used. His choosing to ignore them was the equivalent of date-rape. But, that's okay, because she was attracted to him and enjoyed herself. What if she wasn't? Put these actions on a man whom she wasn't interested in, and you have clear date-rape? But, why? If a woman says "no", is it really up to the man to decide whether he thinks she means it or not? I don't think they should be the ones deciding this. I think "no" means "no" - no matter what. If he doesn't like her answer, too bad. It's not his choice to take away her choices.
Okay, off my soapbox. I will take the book as a work of fiction and understand that these alpha-guys are just this book series' formula. If I can put that aside, I appreciate the cast of characters and the funny situations they find themselves in.
But, I'm taking a break to read Dark Lover with Karly and Jess anyway. There's no over-bearing alpha male in that book at all.
The best parts of this book, for me, were when the characters from the first book were there. I absolutely love this gang of people and their crazy anThe best parts of this book, for me, were when the characters from the first book were there. I absolutely love this gang of people and their crazy antics. Also, I think I want a stun gun.
Our couple in this book are Eddie, Lee's best friend and character from the last book who is also a cop, and Jet, a new girl working at the coffee counter in Indy's book store.
Eddie is a former playa, reformed bad-boy, and complete alpha male. As a matter of fact, he is waaaaay too much alpha male for me. I like confidence and the ability to take charge, but when it comes to being pushed around by a guy? No.
[image] Now tell me I can't hit the f*cking snooze button in the morning, Dickhead!
Jet, our narrator and heroine, is a beautiful girl ( but mysteriously doesn't know it) who takes care of her disabled mother by working two jobs. She's a total push-over and has a bit of a martyr complex if you ask me. Most people I know have had lives just as tough as hers, but they don't walk around like Eeyore all the time. Suck it up, buttercup!
[image] Jet took the Buzzfeed Quiz: Which Disney Character are you? She knew she'd get someone bad. Her life sucks....
Jet's deadbeat, loser dad comes into town and immediately screws up Jet's already lousy life. She is now in danger from some bad guys who are trying to get to dear old dad, so Eddie takes over. He is a total steamroller, but that's okay because he's hot. Stalker-like behavior is totally cool if a guy is hot, don't ya know?
[image] in other words, they're dependable? I think I'm in love!!
There are some great moments, but most of those involve Indy, Ally, and Tex from the last book. On their own, I wasn't a huge fan of Eddie and Jet - I was a fan of their families, but not them so much. That's how these series work, some of the couples are great, some are so-so. I'm still happy with the series and will continue on....more
This book is NSFW, or even NSFPR (not safe for public reading). Not because of inappropriate pics, but because you will laugh so hard that people willThis book is NSFW, or even NSFPR (not safe for public reading). Not because of inappropriate pics, but because you will laugh so hard that people will assume you are crazy. It could be helpful on public transportation - having some space to yourself and all.
[image] Hey, are you reading Rock Chick?
When I first heard about it, I was assuming it was about some girl in a band, or a girl chasing a guy in a band. Not my thing. But, it isn't at all. It is a very funny story about a girl who has been in love with her best friend's brother since she was 5, and he finally wants to get together with her. She is also in grave danger because her coffee barista got her shot at, kidnapped 3 times, stun gunned, and the attention of a small-time mobster who looks like Grandpa Munster.
[image] you'll always sparkle to me, sexy!
So our hero is Indy, a girl who owns a bookstore that doesn't sell many books but gets customers in through having her own coffee guy. He's an artist. Unfortunately, the artist has a side-job that involves marijuana, and said job has put him in some hot water which he immediately uses to make steam and make a kitty cat face in a caramel half-caff soy venti skinny cappuccino. And, he drags Indy into his problems.
[image] yes, I'm aware that I probably said something wrong in the fictional coffee order. I admit that I don't drink that vile bitter weed juice...
Lee is the boy Indy has always loved. And, her bff's brother. They have plotted and schemed for Indy and Lee to get married since they were children - all in vain. But, Lee's all grown up now, and he finally admits that he sees Indy as more than his kid sister's friend. Also, he's a badass who decides to help her with her problem. Nobody is quite sure what Lee does, but they know he does something manly and brave, and there is even a secret bedroom in his apartment that is always locked. They call it Command Center. Lucky for Indy, she is now in the inner circle (meaning she's staying at his place):
I walked out of the bedroom to make coffee and stopped dead, staring at the Command Center door, which was open. I expected that Lee was gone, off for a run, off to command mercenary troops in a drug war in Peru, off to put tracking devices on my car. Instead I heard him talking on the phone like it was an everyday room and not the nerve center for an international commando cartel.
In Indy's eyes, though, it's too late for her and Lee. She spent too much of her life being rebuffed and humiliated by him. She's done with all of that.
"you're like my older brother." "Is that why you tried to stick your tongue down my throat when you were fifteen?" Yikes. "And sixteen?" Crap. "And seventeen?" "Okay, okay, I get it. Jeez." I broke into his trip down memory lane.
Alright, but I can tell what you are thinking. So far this sounds like any modern chick-lit romance novel. And, you might be right. I don't read too many of those books. But still, this book is super funny. The hilarious situations, witty banter, and crazy characters make it LOL material for sure.
Indy has a bff named Ally and the two of them are like Lucy and Ethel with crazy capers. I love how they are together. Right after Indy takes out a hitman who was going towards Ally and they have the bad guys on the couch:
Eddie (cop friend) to Lee: "We gotta talk. Do you think Betty and Veronica here can keep an eye on these two?" "I get to be Veronica," Ally said instantly. I turned to her. "Why do you get to be Veronica?" I didn't want to be Betty, Betty was a doormat. Veronica had attitude.
[image]
And, theirs was not the only great relationship. Indy's neighbors were a gay couple that are hilarious and awesome. I felt like the gay male friend role was written really well. I've had so many gay male friends (including my brother), and my daughter had a gay male best friend, and the author really nailed the fun and closeness of the relationship between fag and hag.
[image] the REAL definition!
But, all the supporting characters were awesome. The story was awesome. The book was awesome. Everything was just awesome. Read it! [image]...more
I had to give a 1-star because I literally hated this book. But, I also have to say that I'm not being fair by giving it a 1-star because it wa[image]
I had to give a 1-star because I literally hated this book. But, I also have to say that I'm not being fair by giving it a 1-star because it was well written and would probably be a favorite among people who like this type of story and don't mind lengthy descriptions of every. f-ing. thing.
[image] omg!!! The room was fucking beige! That's all I need to know!!!
So, as I mentioned, this book was a buddy-read with the awesome peeps at the BBB group. They made it almost bearable because many of them felt the same way as me about the book, and suffering with another person makes it better somehow.
The story is about a guy named Locke who is a thief. He has absolutely no conscience, although you think he might at one point. He steals from the rich, but doesn't give to the poor. He murders, he tortures, he punches old ladies in the face. (You think I'm kidding on the last one? I'm not.) But, we are supposed to like him, I guess, and root for him when he gets screwed over by another thief. That's a little tough for me because I believe in the old sayings: "live by the sword, die by the sword", and my favorite: "Lie down with dogs and you're gonna get fleas."
[image] aww, who's got cute little fleas? you do!
So, I wasn't a huge fan of the main characters.
And, I wasn't a fan of the pages and pages of descriptions that made me want to get a gun and shoot myself in the head.
Then, there was a bunch of time-jumps. I am not talking about alternating past/present chapters, although that was part of it; but also time-jumps within the time-jumps. It was the "Inception" of time-jumping. We got to read about something that happened, then we backpedaled to an hour earlier to read about how and why it happened. Then, we were 10 years in the past. Now, we are learning something about some other people in another time period - called an interlude (should be called infodumplude) - between many of the chapters. Just settle the fuck down, people! Start your story from the beginning, and tell it to me in a cohesive manner. Sheesh!
Finally, I thought there may be a saving romance angle when it was mentioned that Locke had a lost love. How cool, I thought! She might show up at some point and save the day (also dressed-up and part of a con). But, no, don't get your hopes up. This girl never shows up. She, I guess, is a teaser to make us read the next book in hopes of meeting her. Frankly, I don't want to meet her that badly. I'll pass.
[image] I have a colonoscopy scheduled that day......more
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