This was the most self involved piece of writing I have ever read. EVER. I only skim read it because, for the most part, I didn't care about this randThis was the most self involved piece of writing I have ever read. EVER. I only skim read it because, for the most part, I didn't care about this random woman's anecdotes about her life. Why was this written? Why?
Let me discuss my main problem. Multiple times throughout the book, Amoruso says the thing she's good at is free marketing. Free PR.
HELLOOOOOOOOOOO THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS BOOK IS. THERE IS NO #GIRLBOSS, AMORUSO DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT US, SHE IS JUST GETTING FREE PRESS FOR NASTY GAL. WHY ARE PEOPLE MISSING THIS?!
That is the whole idea behind the book! That's why there's no actual business advice, it's just Amoruso catering towards a wide audience so people buy it, lap it up, and then want to shop at Nasty Gal. The whole title being a hashtag = PROMO. It's all just fucking promo and it's fucking bullshit.
I don't care about the memoirs of some woman who I don't know. Her advice is lackluster. It's all just crap. 300 pages of fucking crap. There was some nice stuff about fashion that made me go and buy a vintage Victoria's Secret robe at the charity store I'd previously written off, but for the most part, this book was bullshit.
Where do I even begin with this review? It's been so long since I've written one I've forgotten how to organise my tOkay. Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
Okay.
Where do I even begin with this review? It's been so long since I've written one I've forgotten how to organise my thoughts into something coherent. Although you might argue I could never do that in the first place.
ANYWAY, I'm gonna split this in two parts, because that just seems like the easiest format for my stressy, tired, useless brain right now. Just a forewarning, if you liked this book, you're probably not gonna like my salty ass review of it. But if you want an honest opinion from a good-for-nothing, 20 year old student with too much sass for her own good, read on pals. This first section will be prosey/rambling and the second will be bulletpointed, if you want a lighter read.
If you don't know what Caraval is, clearly you've been living under a rock. A 2017 release, this debut novel has infected the blogging/booktube world, largely because it was given out in the January edition of a large subscription box service. You can also get the hardback copy for a fiver on Amazon, which is how I got it (who can resist a new release hardback for that?). The premise of the book is left intentionally vague: I went into it not really knowing anything apart from it was about a fantasy world in which a sister was taken away in a weird circus game type affair. It didn't really draw me in, but again...the whole £5 thing and pretty cover thing did. I basically just read this because it felt good in my hands. The blurb/premise really didn't appeal to me, but I hoped to be pleasantly surprised.
I wasn't.
My first thought was, "wow, it starts with a map! It has to be good!". WRONG. THE MAP WASN'T EVEN NECESSARY.
There wasn't a lot I particularly liked about Caraval, but I was being really picky. It just didn't seem that amazing to me - it seemed like Garber read the Night Circus, and then copy and pasted it into a YA generator. It just didn't tick the right boxes for me. Which is why this next section, is gonna be pret-ty lengthy.
Basically, I had many an issue with Caraval. It started with the name - it's not quite Carnival, nor is it quite a word. It's just fucking stupid. But that's just my inner linguist complaining. The thing is, none of the characters were likeable. I wasn't rooting for Scarlett to find her sister, because I absolutely hated her. She was just so annoying, and in my opinion, took a huuuge step back in terms of YA female protagonists. I'm not saying all heroines need to be sassy, bold, know what they're doing, etc, but for me, they need to have like, at least half a brain cell. Scarlett just had nothing. She was always whining, or worrying about something or other, and never really getting on and doing stuff. And there was the whole instalove thing, which I just felt inappropriate? Her sister had just gone missing, and she's out here, stealing her man. Julian was just a weirdo, too. The world building just wasn't all that. There was so much missed potential, too. I also felt like I didn't really understand what was going on half the time, and the writing seemed to jump from one bit to another without really explaining anything. I never found a point to the actual event of Caraval, nor got what it was really about. The plot twists were predictable, and the ending stupid. If this had been left a standalone, it could have been written much better, and tied up neatly like a little present with a bow on top. Instead, it is just a hot mess. And that's why it's getting three stars from me. I won't be picking up the second book once it's released.
ON TO the bullet points (for more particular things I liked/disliked and some general commentary. There might be some spoilery bits and pieces in here!)
(view spoiler)[ THE GOOD * denotes I'm also trashing this point in the bad section
✦ I liked that it was about sisterhood* ✦ Pretty cover ✦ Written well* - it was extremely purple prosey to begin with, but I got used to it, and although I did just want to run into Garber's house and take her thesaurus away from her, I appreciate the effort she made, and it was a hella lot better than SOME YA novels on the market right now (no offence Cassandra Clare!!!!) ✦ There wasn't a love triangle, which I thought there would be with the introduction of Dante. ✦ It did pick up near the middle - third section of the book and I found myself not noting down bad shit to talk about anymore. ✦ NIGEL and his cool tattoos and the whole fortune telling idea surrounding that was pretty awesome and super original too.
THE BAD
✦ "I liked that it was about sisterhood" - except, was it? Was it really? Or was it just about Julian and his muscles? ✦ Julian. And his muscles. ✦ For real there were about thirteen descriptions of his six pack, and at the most weird times too. Like, I get it. The guy is ripped. 60 pages in and there were already two descriptions. Of this guy she just met. When she is also betrothed to another. Anyway... ✦ Scarlett. Scarlett is the heroine, but she is just such a neek. She is so...boring, and worried about everything, and not in a believable way, either. Her inner monologue was just so frustrating to read, I wanted to give her a good shake. ✦ "“You going to watch me undress, because I don’t mind.” Immediately embarrassed, Scarlett looked away." I MEAN HONESTLY. ✦ Omg a fake couple plot! They have to pretend to be a couple and they gotta hold hands and shit! Wow! [image] ✦ Donatella Versace, AKA Tella. I was so upset when she disappeared to begin with, like, she was the only decent character. But you know. Then things happened. More in the spoilery section. ✦ Julian and his muscles. ✦ "Daniel DeEngl". This bit had me on my fucking knees. REALLY? As if we needed any more proof Scarlett was a total idiot, she couldn't solve this fucking anagram of LEGEND.
GENERAL COMMENTARY
✦ “The tip of his knife pressed against her breasts”- THIS ISN'T EROTIC. ✦ “It didn’t seem fair that someone so infuriating could look so close to perfect.” - It doesn't seem fair that I have read this line in practically every YA novel ever. ✦ WHY DOES HE CALL HER CRIMSON? WHY YOU TRYING SO HARD TO BE CUTE, GARBER? IT AIN'T HAPPENING. ✦ “For a moment she almost wished for the drab beige frock. No one noticed girls in ugly clothes.” You know what Scarlett, just shut the hell up. ✦ Julian "My little liar" - BITCH WHAT? SHE AIN'T YOUR ANYTHING. IT'S PAGE 103 SON!! [image] ✦ “sometimes he gazed at her as if he wanted to be her undoing” I like this line BUT...SWEETIE YOU ARE ALREADY UNDONE. YOU ARE SO UNDONE. LIKE EXTREMELY UNDONE. ✦ Why was Scarlett so damn confused about her mom leaving when her dad LITERALLY ABUSES TWO TEENAGE GIRLS? ✦ When Julian got locked out of the damn Serpent hotel shit, I was so happy. Like, rejoicing. Maybe he wouldn't ruin my sisterhood story after all. ✦ Two lines later: back inside the hotel, which no one, I repeat, no one could get into if dawn had broken. ✦ TELLA. WHAT THE FUCK TELLA? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? AT THE END OF THE NOVEL WHEN SHE FINALLY REAPPEARED SHE WAS SO DAMN ANNOYING AND BORING LIKE WHA T HAPPENED? (hide spoiler)].
So...yeah. I had a lot of thoughts at the beginning of the book, and less as I got further in, but unfortunately not because I was so immersed in the story. I was just bored of dragging it to hell. By all means, pick up Caraval if you like brooding forbidden love and teenage angst, but not if you're expecting something actually well thought out....more
This book was so bloody boring. It's the kind of thing only an already established writer can dish out - if an unknown person sent this to a publisherThis book was so bloody boring. It's the kind of thing only an already established writer can dish out - if an unknown person sent this to a publisher they wouldn't even make it to the halfway mark, I can guarantee that. The ONLY thing that kept me reading was to find out the big twist, and frankly I found it a cop out. Although it did make my heart hurt a little and I felt funny inside, hence 3 stars. But I've just finished this book and I'm thinking why did I read it? What was the point?
You do not need to read this whole book. Just read like a bit of the middle, and then the end, and there you go. The rest is all a bit pointless.
If you want a real thriller that's actually, Y'know, thrilling (and about the same length) read BLACK CAIRN POINT...more
**spoiler alert** I've got mixed feels on this book and I really thought I'd like it. Here's some bullet points xox
- I kinda got invested in the story**spoiler alert** I've got mixed feels on this book and I really thought I'd like it. Here's some bullet points xox
- I kinda got invested in the story which is good - the ending however, sucked - Cath sucks too like she stole her roomie's boyfriend and then Rowell justified it like NOOOOPE - Cath spent a whole year of her life holed up writing fanfic like she DID NOT do anything else - also why does she think being a virgin is so special and slut shames everyone else - ok I hated Cath - but I liked Levi - the ending though??? Like??? What about Laura? What about SEX? What about the ending of carry on? Can I have closure OR NAH ...more
**spoiler alert** I really liked this book to begin with. It was cute, it drew me in, it was realistic. I found myself really rooting for Eleanor and **spoiler alert** I really liked this book to begin with. It was cute, it drew me in, it was realistic. I found myself really rooting for Eleanor and Park. But then it got repetitive and borderline racist. Then it seemed as if the author HATED Eleanor. Every other sentence was a put down about her. It was really nasty and sucked the joy out of reading. And then it got very cheesy and deep. AND THEN THE ENDING? WHERE IS ELEANOR'S FAMILY? WHAT IS THIS BOOK? ...more
charlie ⚖☭❣
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