not only does this author have deep psychological issues, but he can't even write well. if you're going to be disgusting at least know how to write not only does this author have deep psychological issues, but he can't even write well. if you're going to be disgusting at least know how to write ...more
This rating pains me because the book had so much potential. I mean, a retelling of Lucifer's fall from Heaven already sounds like it'd be a good readThis rating pains me because the book had so much potential. I mean, a retelling of Lucifer's fall from Heaven already sounds like it'd be a good read. Lucifer being gay? Even better. Lucifer having a romantic relationship with Michael, an archangel and the one who cast him out of Heaven??? Sign me up.
Unfortunately, while the premise of Angels Before Man is 1000/10, the actual execution is... not.
My first issue was with the grammar and spelling. There are a few spelling mistakes littered throughout the novel as well as many questionable grammatical decisions. However, I was determined to overlook this, as the novel is self-published and did not have the luxury of professional editing.
The first 104-ish pages were honestly a slog. I had to force myself to keep going and, honestly, if it weren't for the fact that I took the book on my commutes when I didn't have internet, I may not have powered through. It was just that boring.
When introducing a story, you of course need to include some exposition. World building is expected and obviously highly encouraged. Too much world building is not. Angels Before Man was killing me with the exposition. Killing. Me. The first 100 or so pages are literally just the angels chilling and having a good time. Except when Lucifer cries and shakes like a chihuahua (he does that a lot) because he's so humble and nervous and, don't forget, modest. Which is weird because I'm pretty sure the idea of being ashamed about nakedness was only introduced to man, and only after Adam and Eve ate the apple, but I digress.
Every little thing in the book is described. It was reminiscent of those wattpad novels that tell you exactly what the main character is wearing at all times. Completely exhausting to read. I cannot tell you how little I cared about the fruit they were eating or their tunics.
Perhaps I could have borne this better if the characters were interesting. You'd think that a story about the literal devil would have intriguing characterization, but no. Not really. All of the angels sound exactly the same, except for our titular character-- but only because he's either crying or giggling manically.
Lucifer spends the first 60% of the book a sobbing mess over everything before, suddenly, a switch is turned and, oh, he's a sinner now. That's literally how it goes, no lie. No actual character development, either. Furthermore, why does Lucifer giggle so much after his personality switch?? That was just weird lol, I swear every second line was like "Lucifer giggled at the thought of [...]".
Speaking of his complete 180, the actual reason for him 'falling from grace' if you will is soooo messed up. I love a good blaspheme, but that was just way too much. Also, (view spoiler)[ the trope of having a literal villain origin because a character was sexually assaulted is so disrespectful, wrongfully overused, and just plain lazy. The fact that God, the literal LORD, is the one that rapes Lucifer does not sit right with me, and I am not even religious (despite being raised very Catholic). There are so many other interesting ways to illustrate the complexity that is God and his ways and making him a rapist is not one of them. There is also so much to be said about Lucifer's thought process leading up to and during the war in Heaven that was glossed over/not delved into because of this awful plot point. It's all very unsettling, and not in a good way. (hide spoiler)]
Because the characters are not fleshed out or interesting, the romance in this book suffered greatly. It's not even only that, though. We really just got no time with Lucifer and Michael. Lucifer is obsessed with Michael as soon as he hears his name (I'm not lying) and they don't meet face-to-face until about page 102. After that, their entire relationship is basically glossed over. We get a couple of scenes here and there, but we are told instead of shown that they've become best friends and inseparable. Yes, Lucifer thinks about Michael a lot, but we aren't shown why. Despite being inside of Lucifer's head for the first portion of the book, I couldn't feel his love.
I say we are only inside of Lucifer's head for a portion of the book, because it's kind of true. After Part III, which occurs a bit after the halfway point, the point-of-views randomly switch up. And it's not even like fanfiction, where you get a different point of view per chapter or even page. No, the point-of-views (POVs) randomly switched MID-PARAGRAPH. I swear some even changed mid-sentence. What was with that???
The writing, truthfully, left quite a bit to be desired. Besides the random POV switching, there was: Random lowercase sentences in the middle of paragraphs, odd and out of place poetry that took up multiple pages, and ' ' used to describe thoughts. But when I say used, I mean overused. It took me out of the story entirely. At some points, I couldn't wrap my head around what was being said and what was being thought-- or even who was doing the thinking! There are ways to showcase what a character is thinking without writing it so literally. I think that this was a huge problem; everything was too literal.
So much complexity that could have been used but was ultimately left untouched. Shallow character development. 100 pages of exposition that could have been used to build-up the romance. Odd writing choices. An abrupt ending. Too much giggling.
Overall, I am so disappointed. This book could have been great, but instead it was below average. I only give it 2 stars over 1 because... actually I don't know. I guess I think 1 is too low, reserved only for the books that enrage me or make me laugh. This one does neither. It just makes me sad.
I read this entire thing in the bookstore throughout the weeks as a joke. It is one of the worst books I have ever read in my entire life.
I will not I read this entire thing in the bookstore throughout the weeks as a joke. It is one of the worst books I have ever read in my entire life.
I will not be writing a full review, and it would be almost as long as this book. However, here are some of the reasons why this book is actually The Worst:
• The main character, Layla, is half gargoyle half demon. That's just stupid in itself. Plus, she's so ~unique~ and ~special~.
• Layla is literally so boring and also annoying.
• Layla is in love with a boy named Zayne, who is technically her adoptive brother. Yeah. On the topic of incest, (view spoiler)[her half brother had once tried to rape her. (hide spoiler)]
• The love interest is so incredibly gross/creepy but we are supposed to view it as romantic.
• There is a huge love triangle.
• The writing is horrible.
• The ending is such a cop-out and let-down.
I can't even continue this review. Just... do not read this book. Do not. ...more
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