**spoiler alert** a rollercoaster but in a bad way. a rollercoaster where i got promised a fun and enjoyable time but i ended up screaming my lungs ou**spoiler alert** a rollercoaster but in a bad way. a rollercoaster where i got promised a fun and enjoyable time but i ended up screaming my lungs out and maybe i even threw up. so not good overall.
[there are some spoilers ahead].
i went into this story expecting a comedy? most reviews talk about this being a comedy, so i had that expectation in mind. once i started reading i realized this was one of the most depressing books ive read. the mc has no personality. maybe she went through something traumatic and now has some difficulties with daily life and standing up for herself - the book doesnt say or imply anything about it, so im unsure. towards the end i thought that maybe she lost herself because she was always around people that manipulated her and took control over her life and her decisions. she was never in control, not even when she was a kid, since her parents always took important decisions for her. once she grew up and entered adulthood, her best friend (if we can call her that) and her husband started taking over her life. its quite sad and depressing to read. idk how some can consider this a comedy. to me, this is a nightmare. the only people she interacts with in her daily life are these two. a self-proclaimed best friend who cannot for the life of god be happy or excited about her friend accomplishments, who cannot stand by her friends side and support her decisions, who believes her friend cannot and should not change. in her eyes, her friend should remain just as she was once she turned eighteen. it doesnt matter things have changed, nothing matters to her. she just wants a perfect picture best friend who is her identical twin, who doesnt have her own thoughts and opinions, and who always bows to her first before making a decision. not only is she unable to properly love and care for her best friend, but she also plays the victim card, acting like she is the one who is suffering. i cant be bothered by this dynamic. in the end, she has no limits, she prefers to make up lies, make up the worst possible scenario, in order to ruin her friends future. it is so fucked up. her husband is no better. he only married the mc because he felt like it would be a convenient decision. a comfortable marriage for both of them. he is also aware of her wifes lack of personality, to the point he tries to guilt-trip her and also convince her into having kids. of course she doesnt want kids at first, but does that matter to him? no. he wants kids so he should get them, she is just a vessel for them.
im sorry for my harsh words but this book upset me quite a bit. it was depressing and full of gaslighting. the main character is lost, maybe she is unsure about a lot of things. it makes me upset to see how these people, the closest people in her life, instead of offering a helping hand, only try to control her and manipulate her. i think the worst thing is they both pretend to be unaware of the gravity of their actions. they play a game of cat and mouse together, at the expenses of the mc. its sad and not funny at all. i guess if we took some scenes out of context, those could be considered dark humour, but considering the whole context, this didnt make me laugh at all.
i will add i also found the writing confusing, and this ties in w the “comedy” aspect as well and the overall characterization of the characters. the writing was messy and chaotic at times. the dialogues were hard to understand because of the absence of brackets (“” im not sure if these are called brackets in english, but u get my point hopefully). often times it was difficult for me to understand who was talking because of this reason. the dialogue was written as a description, the characters interacted w each other, but there were no brackets or other signs that could help me understand who was saying what. about the tone of the book, if this was supposed to be a comedy, then why was it everything but a comedy? i understand writing dark humour books and i do enjoy them. i like books like that. recently i read yellowface which had a vibe like that. and also i remember enjoying anxious people. even if u use comedy to talk about serious issues (in this case, relationships, loneliness, and toxicity) u should do this carefully, with a clear goal in mind. here the final goal wasnt clear, therefore the writing came out choppy and i couldnt understand what the point of it all was. i also understand writing complex characters, and the importance of showing different colors/aspects of one character. but here i dont feel like i got to experience any complexity. the characters are just bad!! how can i sympathize or feel for them, if they only manipulate others? the mc has no personality, how can i relate to her? i cannot even remember her name.
i dont have more energy to write more. ill finish this by saying i didnt like this at all. i wish the initial premise could have developed into something more complex and less icky to read. i wish the mc had more of a voice in this story - it is her story afterall. i dont recommend reading this but ofc if u think this might be up ur alley give it a go!
content warnings: alcohol use (often mentioned, people drink the whole time), drunk driving (happens twice!), manipulation and lies, pregnancy talk (the whole book, the mc is trying to get pregnant), smoking (briefly mentioned), toxic relationship, toxic friendship.
keep in mind this list of warnings is most likely incomplete. feel free to lmk which cws are missing so i can add them, thank u!...more
DNF 14% or more (i forgot). i plan to pick this up again in the future since i was really liking it. recently ive been getting all my books from the lDNF 14% or more (i forgot). i plan to pick this up again in the future since i was really liking it. recently ive been getting all my books from the library so i completed forgot abt this since it was on my kindle...more
i really liked this book and i wanted to finish it and write and in-depth review, but i realize many of the contents of this book are very relatable ti really liked this book and i wanted to finish it and write and in-depth review, but i realize many of the contents of this book are very relatable to me, and its difficult for me to write anything. i will say that i was unable to finish this book, i have one chapter and a half left. this is because of something that happened in the book which caught me off guard and caused me distress for many hours. still, i recommend reading this book if u think the premise can be interesting to u. the characters are great and the story is well-written and very engaging. maybe its best to check tws before picking it up(of course its always best to check tws if available before reading something, but in this case i highly recommend it).
trigger warnings: alcoholism (in parental figure, underage drinking), blood (bleeding from wrists arms legs, mentioned quite often), bullying (online and irl), diet culture (mention of calories, starving, other), fatphobia, hospitalization (after suicide attempt), micro aggression, racism, revenge porn (with deep fake), self harm (described in detail, scratching and skin picking), sexual activites (mentioned a few times), suicide attempt (through alcohol and pills, described in the detail, the person survives), vomiting (a few times, a bit graphic). please let me know if i’ve missed any!...more
2023 is the year i dont hate myself so this is a DNF and thats it. whereas in the past i would have forced myself to finish a book i didnt like,DNF 5%
2023 is the year i dont hate myself so this is a DNF and thats it. whereas in the past i would have forced myself to finish a book i didnt like, now im not doing that anymore...more
i dont think anything i can say can give this book justice. first im white; second i really believe its best if u go into this blindly, without knowini dont think anything i can say can give this book justice. first im white; second i really believe its best if u go into this blindly, without knowing much about the plot and characters. i really have to applaud kuang for being able to write from the pov of a character that was so vile and racist. i thought the writing was marvelous too, i fell into the story quickly and finished the book in a few days. the book is over, but i think the topics it brought up will stay w me for a while.
content warnings: alcohol use, death of friend (happens on page, it is a big topic of the whole book), discrimination, loss of a loved one + grief, misogyny, racism, sexual assault (happens off-page, character doesnt remember much but most likely it happened).
keep in mind this list of warnings is most likely incomplete. feel free to lmk which cws are missing so i can add them, thank u!
this book got me out of reading block, thats a huge accomplishment on its own. the story is engaging and it kept me hooked for the whol7.29 ON CAWPILE
this book got me out of reading block, thats a huge accomplishment on its own. the story is engaging and it kept me hooked for the whole time, i managed to finish this book in only two days!...more