i have not checked this review for grammar and or spelling mistakes, it's just me rambling and i don't wanna add to an already incredibly long rambl i have not checked this review for grammar and or spelling mistakes, it's just me rambling and i don't wanna add to an already incredibly long ramble session so don't hate me <3
it's about a week later and i'm still not ready to talk about it but (famous last words) let's do it anyway
this review will contain no spoilers of any importance other than 1 big thing that isn't plot related but it is how the book works, I'll tell y'all beforehand so you can skip over it if you'd like
this review will be all over the place, i almost never write full reviews anymore so please excuse me lol
Plot
man oh man, where to begin. You meet Nolan and Skylar, both at rehab on an island that's divided between a resort side and a rehab side. Nolan is there because he's an alcoholic who was 5 years sober but had a fall back and got admitted to rehab by his (ex) wife. Skylas isn't really an addict and is there more because his parents made him go. (his whole story will be about this so I'm not gonna say any more lol) some things happen and they end up having a very temporary relationship together.
SPOILER (view spoiler)[ there's a time jump of 3 years after Nolan's rehab and the last 30% is basically about them meeting each other again after those 3 years (hide spoiler)] SPOILERS OVER
characters
man, I could go on and on about Nolan and Skyler. like any other Jessie Walker book, they're well-rounded and so flawed which makes them feel like real people instead of characters you read in a book. she's incredibly good at writing characters and once again succeeds in Exiled. As someone who's on the spectrum themselves, Skyler's "problems" hit close to home. Not to say that i deal with the same things, because that's not the case. But the way he internalised every thought and is very direct and rational about certain things is something i can *cough cough* relate to *cough*. The way Jessie dealt with his panic attacks is something I've talked about with friends, how uncanny they are with how accurate they're portrayed. And just like those panic attack, Skyler's "storms" were also really fascinating to experience. you feel his hopelessness, the restraint he's trying to grab but can't reach, the way he feels like he's worthless because nobody has ever made an effort to fucking hug him and comfort him in a way he needed. it's heartbreaking and I'm so glad he eventually (vdxfgjdijgd took a while) found it with Nolan.
as for Nolan, this man could rage a fucking war and i would be behind him without knowing what he's fighting for because i just know he would be behind the right causes lol. I loved the difference time made to his character. he went to very rash and grumpy to very openly compassionate and understanding. not that he was not those things before but they were just buried under a lot of self hate lol. idk man, Jessie just writes characters who are incredibly relatable even though i don't identify with a 32 year old man who's also an alcoholic HA
nah but fr, their problems became mine. their problems made me realise how ignorant not only other people can be but also me. i, as an autistic person myself, still has a lot to learn and I'm already on the right way, don't get me wrong. but books like this just make me realise how much more there's still to learn. luckily i love reading character studies lol
the side characters were also very well done and just as important. i loved the last 30% as you got to know a lot more characters who were not only a support system both of them needed but also such well-rounded people who truly brought something of importance to the setting and the story as well. also, I'm so surprised i ended up loving Nolan's ex wife lol. never thought i would see the day but here we are!!!
miscellaneous (very out of pocket but I spelled this word immediately correct the first time, look at me go writing fancy words and fancy reviews word vomiting all over the place)
the setting in the first 60/70% were so atmospheric ugh. and for sure as it is a shared world multiple authors wrote in! i don't know how accurate the depiction is as i have not read the rest but I'm excited to check it out eitherway! i loved the setting in the rest of the book as well. it weirdly made sense where Skyler ended up lol. and the forest surrounding the town just fit Nolan so well hahha
The story surrounding Nolan's grief over not being a stable father figure was also very well done. and for sure with the whole circle back with his ex towards the end. it shows that even if we care and even if we love our dear ones sometimes we just fuck up and endanger the other. that's life. we fuck up. doesn't mean we love them any less. it was a very interesting scene, Nolan differentiating between the fact that him drinking was neglect which resulted in his kid almost dying, while his ex made a mistake that was just careless. She forgot. which resulted in their kid almost dying. idk man, my boy has come such a long way *wipes tear*
ALSO i loved the way that Skyler wasn't made out to be unfit to be a parent!!!! i loved the fact that Jessie made him the actual biological father because Nolan didn't want to give their children a change to become an addict (or at least not the part where it's hereditary) and would much rather raise a child with autism. idk man, healthy representation!!! because wowie autism is not a disease! it's not a blessing either but idk man, don't all people hate their brain sometimes? ours just work a bit different and people hate change and things they don't understand. but yeah, this way so cool to read about, and a very nice change of pace tbh.
but anyway, i could probably dissect this, or any Jessie Walker book for that manner, for hours, and i will!!!!!! but not here on GoodReads, lol, yall are not ready for that!!!
these books make me think (and depressed HA) in the best way. i could also not classify ANY book written by Jessie as a romance. don't go into her books thinking you'll be reading a romance, because you won't. she writes character studies with little tidbits of romance sprinkled in there. the books often have no clear plot other than life itself. and idk i think it's such a beautiful way of writing a story. I'm just ready to be taken to any adventure she thinks off, buckling myself in for the ride fr fr
anyway. this book made me ugly cry and I'm ready to read more of them when the time comes! she has done it again and again and I'll trust her with anything at this point.
5/5
-------------- once again a book by jessie walker that hits
as someone who also has a lot of trouble verbally translating thoughts for people to understand, this book hit close to home.
bro i think i have a new favourite series. or at least a new one that means a shit ton to me. having only read the first one i can't really judge on thbro i think i have a new favourite series. or at least a new one that means a shit ton to me. having only read the first one i can't really judge on that rigth now but you gotta trust your gut on these things right.
i honestly don't know how to write a review for this one so i hope i can when i finish the second book. but for now just know that sometimes words don't mean shit but the words in this book meant everything and my own words reflecting on that wouldn't do it justice
besties... do you ever pick up a book with an idea what it'll be about and immediately you find out you were wrong but it's also so much better?????
whybesties... do you ever pick up a book with an idea what it'll be about and immediately you find out you were wrong but it's also so much better?????
why did i think this was some kind of gang villain kind of shit. IT IS SO MUCH BETTER THO
just 2 sad boys hating each other but also finding out they need each other just as much. this was just perfect in any kind of way. the way they came to their conclusions and fought for it (literally)(with fists) the way they communicated *chefs kiss*
it's aggressive and heartfelt and so sweet df ghxdk.fgxdgkjdhgxdk
idk man, i just recommend it if you want something sweet and raw
When i first read the blurb of this book i thought Hidden Scars referred to a very nice mataphore for traumthank you Noa for giving this book to me <3
When i first read the blurb of this book i thought Hidden Scars referred to a very nice mataphore for trauma. i wasn't entirely wrong but the actual answer was way worse. bro the prologue was actually crazy, didn't expect that at all lol
lemme just say that i think she handled Preston's trauma soooo well. the relationship came kinda out of nowhere but i also kinda get it when it comes to how he grew up and the situation surrounding his upbringing. he just needed someone to love him for who he was, truly seeing through all his shit and idk man, that kinda hit hard.
would read again, and only so i can get the little tidbits of the second book because im reading that right now and i love the little references to both couples lol
highly recommend
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raw, heartfelt, very traumatic but ugh i loved this shit
i will write a (sorta) coherent review when i can put my thoughts into words because i have a lot but i don’t know it’s difficult to verbalise them.
soi will write a (sorta) coherent review when i can put my thoughts into words because i have a lot but i don’t know it’s difficult to verbalise them.
so bear with me because imma write a long and lengthy review about the psychology that went into writing this book and how it’s supposed to fuck with ur brain and it did exactly that. it makes u think about the worst fucking things ever and it’s mad fascinating.
——
live love lobotomy
i don’t necessarily wanna kill myself but the book kinda did that for me...more
"Are you jealous?" "Jealousy is a callow schoolboy's emotion that ends in hard feelings and bloody noses. what I feel for you, Miss Vespertine, would "Are you jealous?" "Jealousy is a callow schoolboy's emotion that ends in hard feelings and bloody noses. what I feel for you, Miss Vespertine, would destroy lives."
GUYS I DID IT! it only took me a month but I finished Nocticadia. and boy was it worth it.
let's start at the beginning The prologue intrigued me so much, it had a spooky vibe to it and I was absolutely ready to dive into the rest of the story, only to be kinda taken aback by how the start of this was? it took a good 80 pages until she finally made the choice to enrol into Dracadia. it took me a good 2 weeks to get through the first 150 pages, but it clicked eventually and I'm very thankful I didn't gave up on it.
even tho the start was very slow and there wasn't a lot happening, the last 200 pages alone made up for that. the start was necessary as it had a lot of buildup towards the last act of the book. I'm actually surprised with how much information was dropped and it eventually came into play at the end of the book. there ended up being a lot of sideplots and mysterious playing and fuck that was amazing.
the middle?
this is essentially a very academic-driven book, with lots of mystery thrown in, and jesus do I want more books like this. The biology parts of this were so interesting, and my bio loving brain was just eating everything up and making connections along with the characters. i could probably write a research paper on these little worms myself at this point. the mystery parts were also a surprise but it was well done and some things surprised me a lot.
but that being said, the romance was outstanding, I loved how their relationship felt very real and authentic. Devryck didn't want someone to touch his as he couldn't feel anything, but the moment he feels again Lilia is the only one he shares that with. Lilia is very much someone who never had anyone in her life and thus thinks she doesn't need anyone, so when she starts feeling things for Devryck she gets scared as it's very foreign to her. i loved their dynamic and the way it progressed.
the end I was reading the last 100 pages in the park after work, and bro the shit that happened in those pages was wild. everything just came together, little comments being made her and there in the start of the book made sense and it makes for a perfect reread one day. it's very well written with lots of little things thrown in there making you go "oh wow"
some things I had seen coming, but some things were a true plottwist to me and I loved a certain plottwist if you can guess which one hihih
i just hope that one day Keri decides to write a book about a certain sister and a certain hurt and broken boy, as they would be PERFECT for each other. absolutely unhinged in the best way.
this was my first keri lake book, but it will certainly not be my last one!
4,5 out of 5
that epilogue makes me wish for a book about a certain character...more
reread 2024 i didn't know i could appreciate this book even more after the first time reading this but boy oh boy was i wrong.
I've read a lot of rh's reread 2024 i didn't know i could appreciate this book even more after the first time reading this but boy oh boy was i wrong.
I've read a lot of rh's, poly, kink, etc etc books the past year, and to this day Losers is still the best one I've read. the character dynamics, the depth of their personalities and their problems... they just feel incredibly real to me, as if i could grab their names off the page and make them reality.
it's incredibly healing to read about it and i see myself rereading this once a year just to feel something. anyway, enough of my sappy review. if you want to read the original sap fest, it's bellow. imma roll myself up in a small little ball and cry <3
original review
This book very much healed something in me. I don’t know if it’s just the content itself or Harley Laroux being a fantastic writer.
It’s very much a story about how one has to present themselves in society or how you can make a place for yourself that society deems unworthy.
The “losers”; Manson, Lucas, Vincent and Jason all come from different backgrounds. All of them insanely driven and caring towards each other. I quite literally teared up in the first 30 pages over their interactions because you can just feel the love these guys have. And then there is Jess. A character you should not like because she was (is) the popular girl and we as a society hate on people who get all the attention. But she’s so much more. Her character development was already amazingly done and can’t wait for her to fully get adopted into this group.
Anyway, enough of me rambling. If you want to read a book with: -Amazingly written deep and caring men who are just trying to make a life together -spicy kink scenes (read the content warning, it’s not for everyone) -lots of car racing (which i actually really enjoyed) -not really a dark romance, because although the topics that are discussed are dark, the relationship between everyone is incredibly caring and sweet -a bisexual poly relationship -and lots more because you should just read this book...more
this was WAY better than i thought i would end up being.
It was short, which i kinda needed rn? The fact that it was 200 pages was the first initial rethis was WAY better than i thought i would end up being.
It was short, which i kinda needed rn? The fact that it was 200 pages was the first initial reason why i put it off, i usually like longer books (at least 3 c’s in thic) Anyways, this book really worked because it was short. The characters felt fleshed out, but we still have lots to learn about them! I honestly love where this going.
look- i have been saying for years that i wanted to read this book for “shits and giggles”. The reason why i held off on it is because i tend to get addlook- i have been saying for years that i wanted to read this book for “shits and giggles”. The reason why i held off on it is because i tend to get addicted to books that are pure crack and before i know it i would’ve read all the 19 books in this series + the novellas + the spin-off’s. (queue Zodiac academy)
Anyway, so i held off on it because i’m deranged and i can’t have 20+ books on my goodreads with the title Barbarian in it this year.
So of course i started reading it late at night when i saw a tiktok about it and thought to myself “let’s humour myself”
I am the joke guys. It’s me.
why does the science fiction part make sense. Why is there plot, good plot??? Why is the blue man with an extra dick like dick not toxic at all and why did i actually liked all the other blue men too...more
So like i said bellow, this book is very hard to rate. i got morals guys, okay, but due to certain events that happened in this book I kinda understandSo like i said bellow, this book is very hard to rate. i got morals guys, okay, but due to certain events that happened in this book I kinda understand why certain things went the way they went. i don't agree with it because I would not fuck my uncle and cousins even if they were not blood related to me or I didn't grow up with them, but Tiernan had a lot happened to her, and this was a way to fully take control over something for the first time, and they happened to be there. that's basically what this was.
and for a book that's quite literally always talked about in the sense of the not so incest incest, it's a lot more emotionally mature than I was expecting. there are some really deep feelings hidden in this. mainly loneliness, anger and numbness. it was kind of beautiful to see Tiernan going from that to laughing again. i can't even imagine how it would be to grow up in a house where you don't feel wanted on a whole other level. Tiernan wasn't only not wanted, she felt like she stood in the way of her parents loving each other whenever she was in the room of them. she felt like she was infiltrating their personal lives. that's absolutely horrible. so the moment she's in the cabin with Jake, Noah, and Caleb she finally feels like people actually want her there and care. i get that she would confuse those feelings of being wanted on a platonic level to a romantic lust level. for sure if they didn't have anyone else to talk with during those 6 months in the snow.
was this fucked up? for sure. would I recommend it? no. not to a lot of people. it's a bit like Haunting Adeline in that way. i cannot recommend a book to just everyone even if I enjoyed it. this book will not be for everyone, and you gotta put your biases and opinions on the side and not judge to fully enjoy this story. we don't live in Tiernan's shoes. you could say you wouldn't do what she had done, but you don't know as it's not your life. that being said, I would recommend this to the people who like to read shit that's taboo because it makes you understand a certain person? or if you don't necessarily put yourself in the shoes of the main character while your reading. go read this if you can put your judgements aside, maybe you'll enjoy this!
It's either a 4 or a 5 star from me, so i'll think a bit more about it and see what happens.
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i have no idea how to rate this. This was way better than i was thinking it would be, very emotional, very raw. Didn’t expect that to happen at all.
Anyway, i’ll write s review and put a star rating when i let it marinate inside my brain for a while. This is a hard one
I did cry like the last 70 pages, that shit ✨hurted✨...more
Milo (if lost, return to hot fictional character)
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