mwana 's Reviews > Pygmalion

Pygmalion: def. n. A sculptor in Greek mythology who created a sculpture so beautiful that he fell in love with her.

In this rendition of an age old story, professor of linguistics Henry Higgins plucks a flower girl off the streets so as to teach her proper diction and middle class manners. After befriending Colonel Pickerson, they wager that by the end of the lessons, the flower girl Eliza Doolittle, will be just as well-mannered as a duchess.

Higgins: I’m an eccentric professor of linguistics. And a confirmed bachelor. Some people say I’m a dick. They aren’t wrong.

Pickerson: I’m another confirmed bachelor. Less dickish than Higgins and for the life of me, I’m actually his bff.

Eliza: Ah-oo-ow-ow for some reason Shaw doesn’t know how women would express anger, excitement, sorrow even if in a cockney accent. I’m basically a broke ass ugly duckling prime for a makeover who sells marked up flowers trying to just survive, you know.

Higgins [writing in a notebook]: Fascinating those squawks you’re making.

Eliza: Dude, don’t nark on me. I aint done nothing.

Crowd: Yeah dude mind your damn business. Oh wait, you are harmless. For fuck’s sake girl, stop your hawing.

Eliza: Bitch, buy some flowers. You’re clearly rich.

They buy some flowers.

Some time later…

Eliza: I’ve come so you can teach me to talk proper and all so I can work at some uppity flower shop.

Higgins: Lmao no.

Pickerson: Could be interesting.

Higgins: Meh

Eliza: ah-he-hi-ho-uh if you will not have me I will not bother.

Higgins’ house manager: Quit it girl. Come get a bath and some new clothes.

Eliza: k

Eliza’s dad: Dudes, I’m broke, you’re rich, gimme some cash and I won’t bring any drama to the fact that you’re training my daughter.

The dudes: k

Months later

Higgins: Mum test this lady I’ve been teaching.

Mrs Higgins: Seriously? I told you not to come over when I’m home and expecting company.

Higgins: But I am an eccentric scholar! You must abide by my demands.

Mrs Higgins: So dramatic. Fine.

Months later...

Higgins: See, we succeeded. You owe me Pickering. I trained her and after the events last night keeping up with the posh folks, Eliza could speak circles around em. She’s simply the best. Takes up new language like a kid raised in a foreign country.

Pickering: You’re not wrong. I'm off to bed.

Higgins: Yeah now she can go and do whatever she wants.

Eliza [mentally]: Is that all I am to you.

Eliza [out loud]: pouts

Higgins: Now where are my slippers.

Eliza: goes to get them and tosses them at him

Higgins: what the fuck is your problem?

Eliza [mentally]: why do you not care about me?

Eliza [out loud]: Bah! Let’s fight.

Higgins: K

Eliza: Peace.

The next morning...

Higgins: Mother Eliza has disappeared. We’re gonna sic the cops on her.

Mrs Higgins: Dude, calm down. She’s here.

Eliza: Let’s fight. You don’t care about me.

Higgins: I don’t care about anyone.

Eliza: Give me kindness or give me independence.

Higgins: You can come back to our digs and life goes on as it was or try your luck back in the gutter I picked you from.

Eliza [having actually forgotten she’s the one who went to Higgins in the first place]: Damn you and your bullying. I’m not coming back. Oh my dad’s gotten a new job and is getting married right this instant. We’re off to the church.

Higgins: I hear you. When you come back life will go on as usual. You’ll do all the assistant stuff you were doing for me.

Eliza: Go fuck yourself. Imma marry that Freddy dude who is friends with your mum. When he is able to provide for me.

Higgins: Bitch please. You’ll be back.

Shaw: I have written hundreds of words explaining my ambiguous ending. Higgins is basically oedipal and holds his mama with the highest regard so no woman could ever compare. But you reader nudge nudge wink wink can see for yourself that he HAS fallen in love with Eliza but she declared that even if Higgins were to ask for her hand in marriage she would say no.

Scholar reviews: This carefully crafted minimalist short play which is likely Shaw's best work is an allegory of the caste system of which Shaw is showing disdain for via Higgins. He is also painting Higgins as a low key socialist. Furthermore, Eliza's courage in standing up to Higgins shows her growth as a student who ends up becoming better than her master. When she threatens to be his business competitor she challenges his socialist ideals by embracing the backbone of capitalism. No, not greed. Competition. But Eliza's independence is curtailed by Higgins trading her compliance for his dismissive friendship which is borderline abusive. This work is really seminal in observing the socio-economic....

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