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Cheesecake's Reviews > Captured
Captured (Garrison Earth, #1)
by
by
Cheesecake's review
bookshelves: genre-mars-needs-women, sexy-alien-cyborg-clone-etc, kidnapped-by-hero, dnf
Feb 11, 2021
bookshelves: genre-mars-needs-women, sexy-alien-cyborg-clone-etc, kidnapped-by-hero, dnf
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Eden the fishwife and Torrin the Alien henpecked hubby.
I just can't bring myself to finish this one.
DNF at around 2/3 in.
The Vetusians made a pact with someone in charge on Earth... who? I dunno.
This deal was for them to protect Earth from some scarier Aliens in exchange for Earth to give them a whole lot of women to make babies with. But Earth reneges.
So the Vetusians decide to just take over Earth and round up the women themselves.
It's a fated mate story, so the Vetusians set up a database to help the happy couples find eachother after the women have been processed and sorted. But apparently the whole fated thing is more ephemeral than in other books. 'Cause Eden doesn't seem to feel it at any point of the story.
What happens to all the other people who aren't marriage aged and female? Well I guess they are all in camps somewhere.
The Vetusians are distantly related to us because they are from some colonists who left Earth at some point in the distant past. They have since become a huge super power in the Galaxy, saving worlds from the same evil Aliens mentioned above. So what year is it?? Cause there is nothing futuristic about the humans in the story. No interesting tech. Nothing.
The story is empty of world building
So the Vetusians are super short and hairy and ugly as sin... HA, just kidding. They are a foot taller than humans with hot bodies and glowing eyes. You know... the usual. Oh yeah, and really big schlongs too of course.
Eden is supposedly a nurse with a lot of compassion and loves babies. But for the first half of the book she is a crazy angry nutbar. I wanted her to be using her brains to outwit the Aliens, but she was just annoying.
Once she pulls her head out of her ass, she marries Torin and then the story shifts gears. Now she enters her madonna phase. The Vetusians have been reproducing by using eggs (I guess they saved them somehow before their women died??? I dunno) and mechanical uteruses. They have their last 'batch' about to be 'harvested' but they all have physical defects (long story...). So Eden will help save them all and well...
Anyways. Eden was annoying and didn't even feel real. Her character was just all over the place.
And Torin's character was annoyingly all over the place too. He starts out as a General, all 'in charge' and commanding. But by the time he's married to Eden he came across as a henpecked husband and I started to picture him as Darwin from 'Bewitched'.
There were some pretty heavy handed clues that the super obvious villain is going to cause trouble towards the end to the story.
Then I'm sure either Torrin or Eden will be almost killed.
Then they will declare their undying love... yadda yadda yadda.
Meh.
Eden the fishwife and Torrin the Alien henpecked hubby.
I just can't bring myself to finish this one.
DNF at around 2/3 in.
The Vetusians made a pact with someone in charge on Earth... who? I dunno.
This deal was for them to protect Earth from some scarier Aliens in exchange for Earth to give them a whole lot of women to make babies with. But Earth reneges.
So the Vetusians decide to just take over Earth and round up the women themselves.
It's a fated mate story, so the Vetusians set up a database to help the happy couples find eachother after the women have been processed and sorted. But apparently the whole fated thing is more ephemeral than in other books. 'Cause Eden doesn't seem to feel it at any point of the story.
What happens to all the other people who aren't marriage aged and female? Well I guess they are all in camps somewhere.
The Vetusians are distantly related to us because they are from some colonists who left Earth at some point in the distant past. They have since become a huge super power in the Galaxy, saving worlds from the same evil Aliens mentioned above. So what year is it?? Cause there is nothing futuristic about the humans in the story. No interesting tech. Nothing.
The story is empty of world building
So the Vetusians are super short and hairy and ugly as sin... HA, just kidding. They are a foot taller than humans with hot bodies and glowing eyes. You know... the usual. Oh yeah, and really big schlongs too of course.
Eden is supposedly a nurse with a lot of compassion and loves babies. But for the first half of the book she is a crazy angry nutbar. I wanted her to be using her brains to outwit the Aliens, but she was just annoying.
Once she pulls her head out of her ass, she marries Torin and then the story shifts gears. Now she enters her madonna phase. The Vetusians have been reproducing by using eggs (I guess they saved them somehow before their women died??? I dunno) and mechanical uteruses. They have their last 'batch' about to be 'harvested' but they all have physical defects (long story...). So Eden will help save them all and well...
Anyways. Eden was annoying and didn't even feel real. Her character was just all over the place.
And Torin's character was annoyingly all over the place too. He starts out as a General, all 'in charge' and commanding. But by the time he's married to Eden he came across as a henpecked husband and I started to picture him as Darwin from 'Bewitched'.
There were some pretty heavy handed clues that the super obvious villain is going to cause trouble towards the end to the story.
Then I'm sure either Torrin or Eden will be almost killed.
Then they will declare their undying love... yadda yadda yadda.
Meh.
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Reading Progress
May 5, 2020
– Shelved
May 5, 2020
– Shelved as:
to-read
May 5, 2020
– Shelved as:
genre-mars-needs-women
May 5, 2020
– Shelved as:
sexy-alien-cyborg-clone-etc
May 5, 2020
– Shelved as:
kidnapped-by-hero
August 1, 2020
– Shelved as:
tolisten-audio
February 5, 2021
–
Started Reading
February 6, 2021
–
33.0%
"Jesus this book is frustrating. I should sympathize with eden, but she's such a self absorbed idiot. She acts out without considering consequences. She complains constantly with no interest in what happened on earth or in anything going on around her. instead of looking for answers she stews. He hurts her the first time during sex because he is used to bots. But even a week later she yells at him like a fishwife."
February 6, 2021
–
45.0%
"I just don't like eden. She's one of those 'cut my nose off to spite my face' kinda people. She acts before thinking. Not someone i would want as a friend."
February 6, 2021
–
52.0%
"Finally Eden is starting to notice other things. But I am kinda disappointed how one sided the whole special mate thing is. Why isn't Eden affected?"
February 7, 2021
–
62.0%
"ILYs have been exchanged and they adopted a 'harvested' baby from a mechanical womb."
February 8, 2021
–
65.0%
"I just don't feel like reading this anymore. Eden has changed from a self centered bitch to a madonna who will teach these crude aliens how to love.
Barf.
Torrin is turning into her tool.
The story meanders and stutters, but one thing stays the same... Eden is an idiot.
How much you wanna bet (now that ILYs have been exchanged), that the evil councilor will make trouble now and almost kill Eden."
Barf.
Torrin is turning into her tool.
The story meanders and stutters, but one thing stays the same... Eden is an idiot.
How much you wanna bet (now that ILYs have been exchanged), that the evil councilor will make trouble now and almost kill Eden."
February 8, 2021
–
66.0%
"frustrating and repetitive and poor world building.
So they are the descendants of humans that left for space long ago... when? And they must have left a while ago to be ruling most of the Galaxy...
Is that supposed to be world building?
Does this mean the book takes place in the distant future? Cause it sure feels like the present to me."
So they are the descendants of humans that left for space long ago... when? And they must have left a while ago to be ruling most of the Galaxy...
Is that supposed to be world building?
Does this mean the book takes place in the distant future? Cause it sure feels like the present to me."
February 11, 2021
–
Finished Reading
September 5, 2021
– Shelved as:
dnf
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Lol, there are so many series like this one. And it's hard to define why I like some more than others when they are all pretty darn cheesy anyways ; )
Cheesecake wrote: "Lol, there are so many series like this one. And it's hard to define why I like some more than others when they are all pretty darn cheesy anyways ; )"There are so many alien romance books out there.. I don't usually dabble in this genre myself but the idea is intriguing, have to say. :)
Agreed! Craptastic characters that I literally do not care about. The storyline is rushed and there are so many terrible holes in the story. I am not going to read anything else about by this author or finish the series.
I can totally understand that. I hate lazy writing ; )
I quit cause Eden was so annoying instead of using her head.
Lol, She was like Lucille Ball for the first half of the story.
You hit all that's weird and eye-rolling in these alien romances right on the head.
I am slow reading at least two such series and things annoy me too - like spaceships and archaic civilizations co-existing. And yes, humans should diminish physically in the future but...wait no long schlongs? No way! :DD