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Emily's Reviews > The Deceptions
The Deceptions
by
by
Things that stood out to me in this book:
- Paint-by-numbers feminism that doesn't really add anything new to the conversation
- Meditations on the patriarchy handled with the subtlety of a sledge-hammer
All grown men in this book are repulsive. Without exception, they behave like infantile know-it-alls and condescend liberally to any female in their vicinity. The word "mansplain" is used at least 5 times. Every interaction the female narrator has with a man involves her feeling like she must listen to them talk without speaking herself, or smile at their jokes, or tolerate their thinly-veiled put-downs, etc. etc.
I'm not arguing with this experience—everything she depicts in the book has happened and continues to happen on a regular basis. But I thought it was a bit clumsy to have every single adult male character in the book behave like this. There are condescending, rude, chauvinistic men out there - sometimes it's obvious, sometimes they hide it well - but there are also a lot of very decent men, and the fact that every one of her male characters behaves like a villain from a Broadway show suggests to me that this author is not particularly interested in the subtleties of human nature.
I also wondered at the narrator's choices. The man she works with ((view spoiler) is so obviously a snake from the start and throughout the entirety of their interactions that I was seriously astonished that she was allowing him to get within a 4-foot radius of her. The book professes to hate the patriarchy, but the narrator (view spoiler) Which seems a little contradictory to the feminist theme.
The book is not much better when it comes to the female characters. The narrator is constantly hinted at being quite attractive without trying at all. She gets a blow-out once and hates it. She considers getting her nails done to be a waste of money. She only owns perfume because her neighbor gave it to her as a present once. But every other female character in the book is depicted as superficial, appearance-obsessed, boy-crazy, and/or frivolous; e.g.:
- her neighbor, whose appearance is emphasized in every scene and who breaks up her marriage to waltz off with a hot yoga instructor
- the woman who sits next to her at the theater, who is depicted as an emotionally unstable and inconsiderate 'woman scorned' stereotype
- her younger colleague in the English dept at the school with the big boobs and tiny waist who is literally only mentioned once in the whole book (even though they work together) and it is when a man the narrator has been flirting with starts to flirt with her instead.
The book also seems to ignore a lot of the progress women have made in the workplace. For instance, I found this passage—
"On Fifth Avenue a stream of businessmen walk briskly by wearing rubbers to protect their shoes, briefcases in hand, determined to govern, to provide, and women stumbling in their heels in their shadow."
—kind of insulting, to be honest. I know a lot of women who work in very high-powered jobs—maybe they wear heels to work, maybe they don't—but it sure as hell isn't so that they can stumble around in men's shadows.
I also found it highly suspicious that the only characters (other than the narrator) who are depicted positively are those over whom the narrator has power because they are still children or barely out of childhood:
- her son, who apparently can do no wrong
- her neighbor's daughter, who her neighbor (of course) does not understand at all and who will single-handedly take down the patriarchy one day after being inspired by the narrator. At one point this character actually says "Why are men such fucks" and the narrator's response to this is "I know she is going to be exceptional". Is that all it takes to indicate someone's going to be exceptional?
- the boys in the classes she teaches at school (if she's such a feminist, by the way, why is she teaching at an all-boys school?)
- the boy-man who works at the membership table, who she kind of lusts over for some of the book and who rescues her when she swoons
Maybe all of this is intentional. Maybe the author intends for us to feel fairly unsympathetic towards a narrator who is so in her own head that all other characters in the story come across as about as well-rounded as stick figures. Who mentally spouts feminist sentiments from the 80s but who ultimately stays with her husband because he's protective and safe. If so, that's great, but somewhat undermined by the Hallmark-ish ending of righteous vindication that's achieved for her by feminists of the next generation. It strips away some of the potential irony.
It's also very interesting that Bialosky herself is a middle-aged poet who was embroiled in a plagiarism scandal a few years before this book was written. It made me raise my eyebrow a bit that her ink-and-paper twin is depicted as the victim throughout this entire book. I was also wondering how this book managed to be published with so many photographs at a time when printing is so expensive. Then I read that Bialosky is vice president and executive editor at WW Norton, and it all made sense.
- Paint-by-numbers feminism that doesn't really add anything new to the conversation
- Meditations on the patriarchy handled with the subtlety of a sledge-hammer
All grown men in this book are repulsive. Without exception, they behave like infantile know-it-alls and condescend liberally to any female in their vicinity. The word "mansplain" is used at least 5 times. Every interaction the female narrator has with a man involves her feeling like she must listen to them talk without speaking herself, or smile at their jokes, or tolerate their thinly-veiled put-downs, etc. etc.
I'm not arguing with this experience—everything she depicts in the book has happened and continues to happen on a regular basis. But I thought it was a bit clumsy to have every single adult male character in the book behave like this. There are condescending, rude, chauvinistic men out there - sometimes it's obvious, sometimes they hide it well - but there are also a lot of very decent men, and the fact that every one of her male characters behaves like a villain from a Broadway show suggests to me that this author is not particularly interested in the subtleties of human nature.
I also wondered at the narrator's choices. The man she works with ((view spoiler) is so obviously a snake from the start and throughout the entirety of their interactions that I was seriously astonished that she was allowing him to get within a 4-foot radius of her. The book professes to hate the patriarchy, but the narrator (view spoiler) Which seems a little contradictory to the feminist theme.
The book is not much better when it comes to the female characters. The narrator is constantly hinted at being quite attractive without trying at all. She gets a blow-out once and hates it. She considers getting her nails done to be a waste of money. She only owns perfume because her neighbor gave it to her as a present once. But every other female character in the book is depicted as superficial, appearance-obsessed, boy-crazy, and/or frivolous; e.g.:
- her neighbor, whose appearance is emphasized in every scene and who breaks up her marriage to waltz off with a hot yoga instructor
- the woman who sits next to her at the theater, who is depicted as an emotionally unstable and inconsiderate 'woman scorned' stereotype
- her younger colleague in the English dept at the school with the big boobs and tiny waist who is literally only mentioned once in the whole book (even though they work together) and it is when a man the narrator has been flirting with starts to flirt with her instead.
The book also seems to ignore a lot of the progress women have made in the workplace. For instance, I found this passage—
"On Fifth Avenue a stream of businessmen walk briskly by wearing rubbers to protect their shoes, briefcases in hand, determined to govern, to provide, and women stumbling in their heels in their shadow."
—kind of insulting, to be honest. I know a lot of women who work in very high-powered jobs—maybe they wear heels to work, maybe they don't—but it sure as hell isn't so that they can stumble around in men's shadows.
I also found it highly suspicious that the only characters (other than the narrator) who are depicted positively are those over whom the narrator has power because they are still children or barely out of childhood:
- her son, who apparently can do no wrong
- her neighbor's daughter, who her neighbor (of course) does not understand at all and who will single-handedly take down the patriarchy one day after being inspired by the narrator. At one point this character actually says "Why are men such fucks" and the narrator's response to this is "I know she is going to be exceptional". Is that all it takes to indicate someone's going to be exceptional?
- the boys in the classes she teaches at school (if she's such a feminist, by the way, why is she teaching at an all-boys school?)
- the boy-man who works at the membership table, who she kind of lusts over for some of the book and who rescues her when she swoons
Maybe all of this is intentional. Maybe the author intends for us to feel fairly unsympathetic towards a narrator who is so in her own head that all other characters in the story come across as about as well-rounded as stick figures. Who mentally spouts feminist sentiments from the 80s but who ultimately stays with her husband because he's protective and safe. If so, that's great, but somewhat undermined by the Hallmark-ish ending of righteous vindication that's achieved for her by feminists of the next generation. It strips away some of the potential irony.
It's also very interesting that Bialosky herself is a middle-aged poet who was embroiled in a plagiarism scandal a few years before this book was written. It made me raise my eyebrow a bit that her ink-and-paper twin is depicted as the victim throughout this entire book. I was also wondering how this book managed to be published with so many photographs at a time when printing is so expensive. Then I read that Bialosky is vice president and executive editor at WW Norton, and it all made sense.
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Reading Progress
August 4, 2023
– Shelved
August 4, 2023
– Shelved as:
to-read
August 16, 2023
–
Started Reading
August 20, 2023
–
Finished Reading
