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To Be Devoured
What does carrion taste like? Andi has to know. The vultures circling outside her home taunt and invite her to come understand the secrets hiding in their banquet of decay. Fascination morphs into an obsessive need to know what the vultures know. Andi turns to Dr. Fawning, but even the therapist cannot help her comprehend the secrets she’s buried beneath anger-induced blackouts.
Her girlfriend, Luna, tries to help Andi battle her inner darkness and infatuation with the vultures. However, the desire to taste dead flesh, to stitch together wings of her own and become one with the flock sends Andi down a twisted, unforgivable path. Once she understands the secrets the vultures conceal, she must decide between abandoning the birds of prey or risk turning her loved ones into nothing more than meals to be devoured.
Her girlfriend, Luna, tries to help Andi battle her inner darkness and infatuation with the vultures. However, the desire to taste dead flesh, to stitch together wings of her own and become one with the flock sends Andi down a twisted, unforgivable path. Once she understands the secrets the vultures conceal, she must decide between abandoning the birds of prey or risk turning her loved ones into nothing more than meals to be devoured.
90 pages, Paperback
First published July 29, 2019
About the author
Sara Tantlinger
65 books358 followersSara Tantlinger is the author of the Bram Stoker Award-winning The Devil’s Dreamland: Poetry Inspired by H.H. Holmes, and the Stoker-nominated works To Be Devoured, Cradleland of Parasites, and Not All Monsters. Along with being a mentor for the HWA Mentorship Program, she is also a co-organizer for the HWA Pittsburgh Chapter. She embraces all things macabre and can be found lurking in graveyards or on Twitter @SaraTantlinger, at saratantlinger.com and on Instagram @inkychaotics
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,043 reviews
December 31, 2020
I literally have no choice but to give this five stars. To Be Devoured is raw, with an intimate look at the main character's spiral through her grief and obsession, and definitely pulls no punches in its exploration of horror either. Even with my high tolerance for gore, parts of this story really got to me. The writing is gorgeous and the ending is haunting. This novella did more for me than most of the mainstream, full-length horror I've read in 2020, despite being only 62 pages long.
(cw: mentions of suicide, domestic violence, loss of a loved one, animal cruelty, and cannibalism)
(cw: mentions of suicide, domestic violence, loss of a loved one, animal cruelty, and cannibalism)
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August 30, 2021about a girl who ate her girlfriend. i think
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 14, 2020
Review Originally Published in Scream Magazine Issue #58
Sara Tantlinger just won a Bram Stoker award for her H. H. Holmes inspired poetry collection, The Devil’s Dreamland. If you are unfamiliar with who Dr. Henry Howard Holmes, in a few words, he’s an infamous, American serial killer. It’s unknown how many victims he claimed but the body count could be in the couple hundreds.
The fact that Sara Tantlinger wrote a collection of poems inspired by this twisted individual should be a profound indicator that Tantlinger enjoys the dark side.
To Be Devoured is Sara’s debut novella and our first introduction to her storytelling voice.
This is a short tale about a woman named Andi who has been through a lot in her life; more deaths of loved ones than any one person could bare.
She’s seeing a therapist and she’s in a relationship with a woman named Luna who seems like the opposite persona of Andi--she’s bright, loving, encouraging and maybe the ray of sunshine someone like Andi needs in her life to chase the doom and gloom away.
But despite all the nurturing and positive steps towards maintaining mental health and stability, Andi is slipping down a dark, dark tunnel into madness and obsession.
For some reason, she becomes fixated on Vultures and specifically the fact that they are carrion birds of prey-feasting on the raw flesh of dead animals.
Andi begins to wonder about the properties of blood, flesh and consuming raw meat. What starts off as just curiosity blooms into a full-blown appetite.
Even though this story totally “goes there” and some of the scenes are stomach turning and disgusting, the writing is way too compelling and magnetic to ever consider stopping. Tantlinger brings Andi to life through powerful inner dialoging and reasoning-convincing the reader that her descent into abnormality is almost a natural progression. On more than one occasion, I didn’t even realize how disturbing things had gotten until I was telling my husband about what I was reading and his response of shock and horror reminded me that this is one really messed up story. I’m recommending it for horror fans who love body horror, strange obsessions and shocking, revolting acts of madness. Sara Tantlinger is a master of lyrical, dark horror and I’ll read anything she releases from here on out.
Sara Tantlinger just won a Bram Stoker award for her H. H. Holmes inspired poetry collection, The Devil’s Dreamland. If you are unfamiliar with who Dr. Henry Howard Holmes, in a few words, he’s an infamous, American serial killer. It’s unknown how many victims he claimed but the body count could be in the couple hundreds.
The fact that Sara Tantlinger wrote a collection of poems inspired by this twisted individual should be a profound indicator that Tantlinger enjoys the dark side.
To Be Devoured is Sara’s debut novella and our first introduction to her storytelling voice.
This is a short tale about a woman named Andi who has been through a lot in her life; more deaths of loved ones than any one person could bare.
She’s seeing a therapist and she’s in a relationship with a woman named Luna who seems like the opposite persona of Andi--she’s bright, loving, encouraging and maybe the ray of sunshine someone like Andi needs in her life to chase the doom and gloom away.
But despite all the nurturing and positive steps towards maintaining mental health and stability, Andi is slipping down a dark, dark tunnel into madness and obsession.
For some reason, she becomes fixated on Vultures and specifically the fact that they are carrion birds of prey-feasting on the raw flesh of dead animals.
Andi begins to wonder about the properties of blood, flesh and consuming raw meat. What starts off as just curiosity blooms into a full-blown appetite.
Even though this story totally “goes there” and some of the scenes are stomach turning and disgusting, the writing is way too compelling and magnetic to ever consider stopping. Tantlinger brings Andi to life through powerful inner dialoging and reasoning-convincing the reader that her descent into abnormality is almost a natural progression. On more than one occasion, I didn’t even realize how disturbing things had gotten until I was telling my husband about what I was reading and his response of shock and horror reminded me that this is one really messed up story. I’m recommending it for horror fans who love body horror, strange obsessions and shocking, revolting acts of madness. Sara Tantlinger is a master of lyrical, dark horror and I’ll read anything she releases from here on out.
July 27, 2021
Ik it sounds weird but I am having a strange craving after devouring this book.
September 11, 2019
Holy shit. This is how horror is done. Review later after I put myself back together.
Here it is:
“I was a mean, morbid girl, and I resented everyone and their perfect, living family members. “
TO BE DEVOURED does everything a five star horror novel should do, if you ask me. It unnerves, it sickens, it terrifies and it lingers well after you turn the final page. With that said it is not a story for everyone because it is fucking brutal and disturbing on a level most books never reach.
Andi has anger issues and morbid compulsions but she’s in a relatively stable relationship with girlfriend Luna until Luna unkindly rejects Andi’s gift that she so painstakingly created over several months. Soon enough Andi begins obsessing far too much on the vultures she sees lurking near her home. They invade her dreams and start to invade her waking moments. What does carrion taste like? Will it fill her up? Fill up the emptiness always dwelling inside of her, as it does the vultures?
To say any more is to say too much.
I hadn’t read author Sara Tantlinger before this work crossed my path but my fellow #LadiesOfHorrorFiction adore her poetry and once I began this book it was clear this work was written by a poet. The words are beautifully composed and often grossly descriptive, terribly bleak, and the mood is set to pitch black where it stays in nearly every scene.
It is a dark and grotesque descent into madness but the character of Andi is so well drawn I found myself agreeing with many of her thoughts, at least earlier on, haha. Those anger filled feelings fueled by grief were vivid and potent and excellently put down on the page. Her thoughts on death and its aftermath and all of the crazy customs that go along with it feel so very accurate. But I am strange, I suppose. I tell my husband and children to bury me in the backyard and give me back to the earth if I happen to keel over young because the thought of being pumped full of chemicals so people can “say goodbye” to my rotting corpse haunts me. See me when I’m alive or don’t bother and let me feed the earth or the squirrels when I’m dead. That is far more natural to me. They laugh but I’m truly only half joking.
“Our bodies have ruined the earth, it seems only right such bodies give back to nature, to the animals.”
Anyhow, what I guess I’m trying to say, is that this book takes those feelings of pain and loss and rejection that some of us experience way too young, when we aren’t properly equipped to handle any of it, and ponders what might happen if one allowed those feelings to twist and simmer and transform into an internal and unnatural dialogue that takes the horror out of horrifying thoughts and actions. This book does that and it’s not one I’ll forget easily.
As I said, this book isn’t for everyone. There’s a scene that I wanted so badly to look away from but couldn’t because I had to keep reading. Don’t take that as a gentle warning. It’s something you won’t be able to unread. If you’re up for it, you’ll be repulsed and rattled by its dark beauty and it will haunt you on an intimate level. That I can pretty much guarantee.
Here it is:
“I was a mean, morbid girl, and I resented everyone and their perfect, living family members. “
TO BE DEVOURED does everything a five star horror novel should do, if you ask me. It unnerves, it sickens, it terrifies and it lingers well after you turn the final page. With that said it is not a story for everyone because it is fucking brutal and disturbing on a level most books never reach.
Andi has anger issues and morbid compulsions but she’s in a relatively stable relationship with girlfriend Luna until Luna unkindly rejects Andi’s gift that she so painstakingly created over several months. Soon enough Andi begins obsessing far too much on the vultures she sees lurking near her home. They invade her dreams and start to invade her waking moments. What does carrion taste like? Will it fill her up? Fill up the emptiness always dwelling inside of her, as it does the vultures?
To say any more is to say too much.
I hadn’t read author Sara Tantlinger before this work crossed my path but my fellow #LadiesOfHorrorFiction adore her poetry and once I began this book it was clear this work was written by a poet. The words are beautifully composed and often grossly descriptive, terribly bleak, and the mood is set to pitch black where it stays in nearly every scene.
It is a dark and grotesque descent into madness but the character of Andi is so well drawn I found myself agreeing with many of her thoughts, at least earlier on, haha. Those anger filled feelings fueled by grief were vivid and potent and excellently put down on the page. Her thoughts on death and its aftermath and all of the crazy customs that go along with it feel so very accurate. But I am strange, I suppose. I tell my husband and children to bury me in the backyard and give me back to the earth if I happen to keel over young because the thought of being pumped full of chemicals so people can “say goodbye” to my rotting corpse haunts me. See me when I’m alive or don’t bother and let me feed the earth or the squirrels when I’m dead. That is far more natural to me. They laugh but I’m truly only half joking.
“Our bodies have ruined the earth, it seems only right such bodies give back to nature, to the animals.”
Anyhow, what I guess I’m trying to say, is that this book takes those feelings of pain and loss and rejection that some of us experience way too young, when we aren’t properly equipped to handle any of it, and ponders what might happen if one allowed those feelings to twist and simmer and transform into an internal and unnatural dialogue that takes the horror out of horrifying thoughts and actions. This book does that and it’s not one I’ll forget easily.
As I said, this book isn’t for everyone. There’s a scene that I wanted so badly to look away from but couldn’t because I had to keep reading. Don’t take that as a gentle warning. It’s something you won’t be able to unread. If you’re up for it, you’ll be repulsed and rattled by its dark beauty and it will haunt you on an intimate level. That I can pretty much guarantee.
August 28, 2019
A literally twisted yet aesthetically written story regarding obsession, rage and mental instability. The horror is stark and gut-wrenching, but the truth is impossible to turn away from. Highly recommended for those with unflinching tastes.
July 18, 2022
The prose was beautiful and hypnotic. I highlighted so many passages, I thought the themes of grief and loss were especially poignant.
HOWEVER
This was also *very* gross!!! 😂 One sequence was particularly nausea-inducing, I was practically reading through my fingers. I thought it was phenomenal though, and will probably be talking about it a lot, so prepare to be sick of me 😂
HOWEVER
This was also *very* gross!!! 😂 One sequence was particularly nausea-inducing, I was practically reading through my fingers. I thought it was phenomenal though, and will probably be talking about it a lot, so prepare to be sick of me 😂
April 29, 2022
I really don't like to beat up on art. It's difficult to create. But this one was nominated for the highest award in horror, the Bram Stoker Award, and it's received many positive reviews with superlative compliments.
Plainly, I think this book is stupid. I don't know how else to say it. To me, it was just silly. Largely, this is because the main character, Andi, is given very little background. And her personality is underexplored. The entire story is told from her point of view. OK, but the problem is that her point of view sounds like a high school freshman who spent too much time on /r/NoSleep, jacked up on Mountain Dew and Creepy Pastas.
SPOILERS: Here's the plot. A young woman, Andi, breaks up a marriage, and she starts a relationship with the woman from that marriage, Luna. She then creeps out her girlfriend, and her girlfriend tries to help her get therapy and treatment for her traumatic past. Andi, though, starts to fantasize about becoming a vulture and eating dead things. She starts to think extra spooky, scary, tWisTED thoughts about what things would be like dead and devoured by her. This escalates whenever she breaks into her neighbor farmer's barn and steals a piglet, which she kills and eats raw. She does this again. And then she kills the farmer. Andi's girlfriend's ex-husband becomes worried about not seeing Luna around, so he checks at Andi's house. Andi eventually takes him to a spot in the wilderness, where it's revealed that her therapist is actually a field-dressed deer (Dr. FAWNing, get it?) and Luna, the girlfriend, has been bled and assaulted but is still alive. The divorced couple escapes.
Honestly, the plot is pretty good. It's just the execution that's bad. Andi's traumatic life is hinted at, but it's not really explored. There could've been so much more done with this. What ends up happening as a result is that the reader doesn't sympathize at all with the main character. So, for me, it was a struggle to finish even this short novella. So much of the character building was Andi going on these weird tangents in an angsty way, a sorta horror Holden Caufield thinking about how phony the world is and how much she wants to eat dead things.
I know a lot of reviewers found the prose beautiful, but I didn't. I found it overwrought. For me, the best poetry doesn't just use big words. Tantlinger has a solid vocabulary, after all. Poetry also commands its imagery and metaphors intentionally, not just protractedly. Poetry also has at its core some insight, some way of mystifying the mundane or awakening something in us. Poetry has substance just as much as style. And there's no substance to this story, largely because the characters are underdeveloped and the plot aims at shock.
Is the story a comment on mental illness? No, not really. Andi is just crazy, but her trauma or diagnosis isn't explored. Nor is the idea that it's tough to have a mental illness in North America or in relationships.
Is the story a comment on stifling heteronormativity, since Andi is a gay and Luna is bi? No, not really. Andi is actually a horrible girlfriend, and the ex-husband seems like a decent guy. (Also, something that irked me is that Andi was mad at her neighbor for calling Luna "Princess Jasmine" but Andi referred to Luna by racialized traits, such as calling Luna her tiger. I don't like Andi, so it worked to reinforce that. So, maybe there's a comment on hypocrisy here?)
Is the story groundbreaking in its transgressiveness? Hardly. It's been 200 years since de Sade wrote *120 Days of Sodom*, which takes the cake when it comes to depravity. If we go for more queer authors with gore, it's been over 30 years since Clive Barker experimented with BDSM, violence, and queerness. The author isn't breaking any new ground given the history of horror, extreme horror, and transgressive literature. I mean, the first chapter starts with Andi giving a gift of bug wings sewn together to Luna and Luna being creeped out. Toward the middle of the book, Andi bullies Luna into sex when Luna is on her period, and Andi goes down on her, and Luna freaks out when Andi enjoys the blood. I mean, if the best you have, as a transgressive writer, is bugs and period sex, there's a lot left to be desired.
So what is this story doing? I honestly have no clue.
The story's cute, I guess. And it's adept, in the sense that the curveball about the therapist was unexpected and well done. And I'm glad that Luna survived. But the whole story just felt forced and cringeworthy. Whatever. Maybe we all either die based or live long enough to become cringe. And given that I'm approaching middle age, maybe I should just embrace the cringe like this story did. Maybe I should listen to my gurgling stomach and find something to be devoured ...
Plainly, I think this book is stupid. I don't know how else to say it. To me, it was just silly. Largely, this is because the main character, Andi, is given very little background. And her personality is underexplored. The entire story is told from her point of view. OK, but the problem is that her point of view sounds like a high school freshman who spent too much time on /r/NoSleep, jacked up on Mountain Dew and Creepy Pastas.
SPOILERS: Here's the plot. A young woman, Andi, breaks up a marriage, and she starts a relationship with the woman from that marriage, Luna. She then creeps out her girlfriend, and her girlfriend tries to help her get therapy and treatment for her traumatic past. Andi, though, starts to fantasize about becoming a vulture and eating dead things. She starts to think extra spooky, scary, tWisTED thoughts about what things would be like dead and devoured by her. This escalates whenever she breaks into her neighbor farmer's barn and steals a piglet, which she kills and eats raw. She does this again. And then she kills the farmer. Andi's girlfriend's ex-husband becomes worried about not seeing Luna around, so he checks at Andi's house. Andi eventually takes him to a spot in the wilderness, where it's revealed that her therapist is actually a field-dressed deer (Dr. FAWNing, get it?) and Luna, the girlfriend, has been bled and assaulted but is still alive. The divorced couple escapes.
Honestly, the plot is pretty good. It's just the execution that's bad. Andi's traumatic life is hinted at, but it's not really explored. There could've been so much more done with this. What ends up happening as a result is that the reader doesn't sympathize at all with the main character. So, for me, it was a struggle to finish even this short novella. So much of the character building was Andi going on these weird tangents in an angsty way, a sorta horror Holden Caufield thinking about how phony the world is and how much she wants to eat dead things.
I know a lot of reviewers found the prose beautiful, but I didn't. I found it overwrought. For me, the best poetry doesn't just use big words. Tantlinger has a solid vocabulary, after all. Poetry also commands its imagery and metaphors intentionally, not just protractedly. Poetry also has at its core some insight, some way of mystifying the mundane or awakening something in us. Poetry has substance just as much as style. And there's no substance to this story, largely because the characters are underdeveloped and the plot aims at shock.
Is the story a comment on mental illness? No, not really. Andi is just crazy, but her trauma or diagnosis isn't explored. Nor is the idea that it's tough to have a mental illness in North America or in relationships.
Is the story a comment on stifling heteronormativity, since Andi is a gay and Luna is bi? No, not really. Andi is actually a horrible girlfriend, and the ex-husband seems like a decent guy. (Also, something that irked me is that Andi was mad at her neighbor for calling Luna "Princess Jasmine" but Andi referred to Luna by racialized traits, such as calling Luna her tiger. I don't like Andi, so it worked to reinforce that. So, maybe there's a comment on hypocrisy here?)
Is the story groundbreaking in its transgressiveness? Hardly. It's been 200 years since de Sade wrote *120 Days of Sodom*, which takes the cake when it comes to depravity. If we go for more queer authors with gore, it's been over 30 years since Clive Barker experimented with BDSM, violence, and queerness. The author isn't breaking any new ground given the history of horror, extreme horror, and transgressive literature. I mean, the first chapter starts with Andi giving a gift of bug wings sewn together to Luna and Luna being creeped out. Toward the middle of the book, Andi bullies Luna into sex when Luna is on her period, and Andi goes down on her, and Luna freaks out when Andi enjoys the blood. I mean, if the best you have, as a transgressive writer, is bugs and period sex, there's a lot left to be desired.
So what is this story doing? I honestly have no clue.
The story's cute, I guess. And it's adept, in the sense that the curveball about the therapist was unexpected and well done. And I'm glad that Luna survived. But the whole story just felt forced and cringeworthy. Whatever. Maybe we all either die based or live long enough to become cringe. And given that I'm approaching middle age, maybe I should just embrace the cringe like this story did. Maybe I should listen to my gurgling stomach and find something to be devoured ...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 28, 2022
"[...] Está a tiempo de convertirse en la persona que nunca pudo ser.
Y, cuando nada de lo que necesita llega, solo tiene una opción.
Devorar.
Porque ya está cansada de ser devorada."
Y así, de esta manera termina el prólogo con el que nos deleita Nieves Mories.
Donde ya se nos va haciendo la boca agua con lo que nos vamos a encontrar tras esta sublime presentación.
Agárrense fuerte porque lo que les traigo hoy así lo requiere.
¿Están preparados?
Con un lenguaje exquisito, Sara Tantlinger nos narra los mayores horrores que es capaz de cometer una mente que se encuentra en plena caída al abismo.
Narrado en primera persona desde la perspectiva poco fiable de Andi, nuestra protagonista principal, conoceremos sus miedos, vivencias y obsesiones que nos harán estremecer en no pocas ocasiones.
Nos adentraremos en lo más profundo de sus claroscuros.
Más oscuros que claros por supuesto.
Conoceremos hasta donde es capaz de llegar una mente enferma que quiere mimetizarse con la naturaleza y ser libre, como los buitres.
Alimentarse y vivir como ellos.
Para tratar de olvidar los traumas de una infancia marcada por la desgracia.
Porque nadie, absolutamente nadie ha sido capaz de ver más allá, de ayudarla a encontrar esa paz mental tan ansiada.
De hacer que canalice esa ira que la consume cada día más.
Queda claro que no es una lectura suave ni agradable por lo que podemos intuir con la portada y la sinopsis pero no está de más el aviso; abstenerse las personas sensibles. No escatima en detalles escabrosos y sangrientos ☡
Y todos estos horrores son narrados de una forma muy poética, por si fuera poco.
Muy descriptiva.
Demasiado para mi tal vez.
Lo dicho, pedazo de conjunta ha elegido Devoradora de libros para este mes, una lectura muy corta para leer de una sentada si eres capaz de soportarlo, a mi me ha gustado pero no entusiasmado, quizás algunas escenas me han removido demasiado y no me ha cogido en buen momento, creo que es de esas lecturas que hay que releer y saborear para exprimirle todo su jugo, lo que está claro es que indiferente no deja, hay escenas que quedarán marcadas a fuego en mi, y por eso le subo la valoración a cuatro estrellas.
Y todo esto viene de la mano de la siempre recomendable editorial Dilatando Mentes que nos regala un postfacio con todo un abanico de información de lo más interesante sobre canibalismo y metamorfosis de la mano de Erica Couto-Ferreira.
¿A qué sabe la carroña? ¿Te atreves a descubrirlo?
✴ "Tal vez esa fue la peor parte, cómo puedes llegar a comprender a un extraño porque conoces su dolor, porque tú ayudaste a que ese dolor se produjera."
✴ "Ella era la luna y yo el sol, manteniéndome equilibrada en un mundo donde mi propio cerebro libra una guerra civil con mis emociones."
✴ "Mi libertad es todo lo que siempre quise. No me convertiré en un pájaro enjaulado. Me niego a eso."
📖 Próxima lectura:
"Paranoia" - Franck Thilliez.
📚 https://www.facebook.com/LaLocadelosL... 📚
Y, cuando nada de lo que necesita llega, solo tiene una opción.
Devorar.
Porque ya está cansada de ser devorada."
Y así, de esta manera termina el prólogo con el que nos deleita Nieves Mories.
Donde ya se nos va haciendo la boca agua con lo que nos vamos a encontrar tras esta sublime presentación.
Agárrense fuerte porque lo que les traigo hoy así lo requiere.
¿Están preparados?
Con un lenguaje exquisito, Sara Tantlinger nos narra los mayores horrores que es capaz de cometer una mente que se encuentra en plena caída al abismo.
Narrado en primera persona desde la perspectiva poco fiable de Andi, nuestra protagonista principal, conoceremos sus miedos, vivencias y obsesiones que nos harán estremecer en no pocas ocasiones.
Nos adentraremos en lo más profundo de sus claroscuros.
Más oscuros que claros por supuesto.
Conoceremos hasta donde es capaz de llegar una mente enferma que quiere mimetizarse con la naturaleza y ser libre, como los buitres.
Alimentarse y vivir como ellos.
Para tratar de olvidar los traumas de una infancia marcada por la desgracia.
Porque nadie, absolutamente nadie ha sido capaz de ver más allá, de ayudarla a encontrar esa paz mental tan ansiada.
De hacer que canalice esa ira que la consume cada día más.
Queda claro que no es una lectura suave ni agradable por lo que podemos intuir con la portada y la sinopsis pero no está de más el aviso; abstenerse las personas sensibles. No escatima en detalles escabrosos y sangrientos ☡
Y todos estos horrores son narrados de una forma muy poética, por si fuera poco.
Muy descriptiva.
Demasiado para mi tal vez.
Lo dicho, pedazo de conjunta ha elegido Devoradora de libros para este mes, una lectura muy corta para leer de una sentada si eres capaz de soportarlo, a mi me ha gustado pero no entusiasmado, quizás algunas escenas me han removido demasiado y no me ha cogido en buen momento, creo que es de esas lecturas que hay que releer y saborear para exprimirle todo su jugo, lo que está claro es que indiferente no deja, hay escenas que quedarán marcadas a fuego en mi, y por eso le subo la valoración a cuatro estrellas.
Y todo esto viene de la mano de la siempre recomendable editorial Dilatando Mentes que nos regala un postfacio con todo un abanico de información de lo más interesante sobre canibalismo y metamorfosis de la mano de Erica Couto-Ferreira.
¿A qué sabe la carroña? ¿Te atreves a descubrirlo?
✴ "Tal vez esa fue la peor parte, cómo puedes llegar a comprender a un extraño porque conoces su dolor, porque tú ayudaste a que ese dolor se produjera."
✴ "Ella era la luna y yo el sol, manteniéndome equilibrada en un mundo donde mi propio cerebro libra una guerra civil con mis emociones."
✴ "Mi libertad es todo lo que siempre quise. No me convertiré en un pájaro enjaulado. Me niego a eso."
📖 Próxima lectura:
"Paranoia" - Franck Thilliez.
📚 https://www.facebook.com/LaLocadelosL... 📚
December 18, 2023
4.5 STARS OUT OF 5.0 STARS
This is exquisite extreme horror that tests your boundaries by asking how much can you really take but it is only a rhetorical question. This short work was good enough to be nominated for an Edgar Award so I am very sure it deserves a thoughtful review. You will see one soon.
This is exquisite extreme horror that tests your boundaries by asking how much can you really take but it is only a rhetorical question. This short work was good enough to be nominated for an Edgar Award so I am very sure it deserves a thoughtful review. You will see one soon.
February 10, 2021
Ever read something that made you tingle with an epiphany? "Wow, so THAT'S what this genre can do!" Well, this book didn't do that for me. But there was every reason it should have.
We need to see more from this author, because her writing is absolutely beautiful. If applied to less mundane material, I think she could paint portraits of the human condition with her poetic prose that could rival some of the greats in contemporary literature.
Now when I say "less mundane material," I mean that in this case horror fans have seen this kind of thing many times before: a young mind warped by trauma and loss into psychotic dissociative behaviors that lead to murder and self-destruction. Mental illness as a theme in horror is as old as the genre itself, and I do not mean to say the possibilities have been wrung dry, just that this particular novella didn't necessarily bring anything new to the table for me.
Since I seem to be in the minority feeling this way, I feel I must illustrate what I mean, but to do so, we must enter into some SPOILER TERRITORY.
I thought that this novella was exploring the deep psychology and underlying themes of the ancient "ghoul" motif in horror. The idea of needing to feed one's emotional emptiness with the literal consumption of the physical substance of another being is profoundly disturbing, because it perverts the natural need to eat, making a daily pleasure of having a meal a thing of revulsion, adding perspective to the laws of those who devour and those who are to be devoured. The main character of Andi does not feel she belongs anywhere, even in her own body. She has no tribe, and no solace even within herself. She feels ugly and unlovable. She is inspired by watching vultures over a carcass, these beasts that have a tribe and a family of their own despite their ugliness, and by their consumption of carrion transcend beauty with an inner strength, able to survive even an apocalypse because of their appetite for the rotting waste of what has already succumbed. Thus, she becomes obsessed with the idea of flying like her spirit animals, and eating raw flesh.
But the author loses her way. The transformation of Andi is not subtle and feels rather abrupt. From a fairly high functioning individual, she becomes less than an animal with little transition. Perhaps this would have translated better in a longer work. But as published, the whole thing is nonsensical. Making matters worse, the story would have normally been cut short had it not been for the equally nonsensical actions of supporting characters. When it is quite obvious to others that Andi is a mentally disturbed individual guilty of trespassing, theft, kidnapping, or worse, they do not call the police. They play games with her instead and place themselves needlessly in the path of her delusional wrath. I can't stand it when books force the narrative along in this way, by making stupid decisions by characters the only reason to have any ongoing suspense or action to write about.
For me, the most annoying factor was that the author seemed to clearly want us to see Andi as a tragic figure, which should have been the case since we are seeing the story unfold through her eyes, but she didn't pull it off. If we do not empathize or sympathize with Andi, it makes it difficult for the reader to feel much of anything other than the obvious disgust for her actions. Unfortunately, Andi comes across as mostly a cartoonish emo, wearing black all the time, wallowing in self-pity and anger, making smug woke comments to old people, and overall just being an unredeemable tool. Thus, when she breaks bad, we are not surprised, and we don't love her enough to love to hate her, nor do we clamor for her possible redemptiom before it's too late. All we are left with is the gross actions from a gross person. It might be enough for some horror readers to simply be titillated by gore and sex filled with bodily fluids to cry out "balls to the wall!" in five-star satisfaction. But that's not going to earn a high rating for this desensitized fan.
And so, in failing to make Andi more human, an otherwise sensitive exploration of mental illness through the eyes of horror just becomes another serial killer pulp with a shopworn representation of someone with psychosis being an axe-wielding monster. I think Sara Tantlinger is far too talented for that. And this makes some of the author's more progressive themes less poignant, particularly Andi's interracial sapphist relationship with a married woman which is not understood by her rural backwoods neighbors and thus furthers her isolation. Andi as a cartoon villain with a stereotypical short circuit in the brain implies that she does platitudinous "amoral" things. So, is the grumpy old farmer next door who makes passive-aggressive comments about her girlfriend a racist homophobe or is he just an experienced and empathic man who knows that Andi can't make a decision that isn't based on maladaptive self-loathing and which will ultimately lead to both Andi and her girlfriend getting seriously hurt? I don't think the author intended for readers to even consider this question, but if she did, all the more reason why Andi should have been better developed as a whole person and not just as a fledgling cannibal.
All of this exploration of the great potential of this book would have required it to be worked into a full novel. But perhaps we should be thankful it isn't longer than what it is, because it is quite a rough ride.
So my goal with this review is to simply warn folks about books with glowing reviews across the board, as seen here so far. The excitement of some readers to be one of the first to give a new book or author a chance sometimes does unintentional harm, because the hype stirs people to such high expectations that they become more disappointed with the end result than they should be. You see this a lot with newer books and film that get 5-stars consistently for the first year or two, then the one and two stars start showing up with all the jokes about "what do people see in this?" Such would be an unnecessary fate for "To Be Devoured." I think this is a damn good horror story, but it is far from perfect, and you should know that.
But this book does get the genre right in so many ways, and I look forward to reading more of Sara Tantlinger's growing ouvre and discovering what she can bring to the world of books in the coming years!
We need to see more from this author, because her writing is absolutely beautiful. If applied to less mundane material, I think she could paint portraits of the human condition with her poetic prose that could rival some of the greats in contemporary literature.
Now when I say "less mundane material," I mean that in this case horror fans have seen this kind of thing many times before: a young mind warped by trauma and loss into psychotic dissociative behaviors that lead to murder and self-destruction. Mental illness as a theme in horror is as old as the genre itself, and I do not mean to say the possibilities have been wrung dry, just that this particular novella didn't necessarily bring anything new to the table for me.
Since I seem to be in the minority feeling this way, I feel I must illustrate what I mean, but to do so, we must enter into some SPOILER TERRITORY.
I thought that this novella was exploring the deep psychology and underlying themes of the ancient "ghoul" motif in horror. The idea of needing to feed one's emotional emptiness with the literal consumption of the physical substance of another being is profoundly disturbing, because it perverts the natural need to eat, making a daily pleasure of having a meal a thing of revulsion, adding perspective to the laws of those who devour and those who are to be devoured. The main character of Andi does not feel she belongs anywhere, even in her own body. She has no tribe, and no solace even within herself. She feels ugly and unlovable. She is inspired by watching vultures over a carcass, these beasts that have a tribe and a family of their own despite their ugliness, and by their consumption of carrion transcend beauty with an inner strength, able to survive even an apocalypse because of their appetite for the rotting waste of what has already succumbed. Thus, she becomes obsessed with the idea of flying like her spirit animals, and eating raw flesh.
But the author loses her way. The transformation of Andi is not subtle and feels rather abrupt. From a fairly high functioning individual, she becomes less than an animal with little transition. Perhaps this would have translated better in a longer work. But as published, the whole thing is nonsensical. Making matters worse, the story would have normally been cut short had it not been for the equally nonsensical actions of supporting characters. When it is quite obvious to others that Andi is a mentally disturbed individual guilty of trespassing, theft, kidnapping, or worse, they do not call the police. They play games with her instead and place themselves needlessly in the path of her delusional wrath. I can't stand it when books force the narrative along in this way, by making stupid decisions by characters the only reason to have any ongoing suspense or action to write about.
For me, the most annoying factor was that the author seemed to clearly want us to see Andi as a tragic figure, which should have been the case since we are seeing the story unfold through her eyes, but she didn't pull it off. If we do not empathize or sympathize with Andi, it makes it difficult for the reader to feel much of anything other than the obvious disgust for her actions. Unfortunately, Andi comes across as mostly a cartoonish emo, wearing black all the time, wallowing in self-pity and anger, making smug woke comments to old people, and overall just being an unredeemable tool. Thus, when she breaks bad, we are not surprised, and we don't love her enough to love to hate her, nor do we clamor for her possible redemptiom before it's too late. All we are left with is the gross actions from a gross person. It might be enough for some horror readers to simply be titillated by gore and sex filled with bodily fluids to cry out "balls to the wall!" in five-star satisfaction. But that's not going to earn a high rating for this desensitized fan.
And so, in failing to make Andi more human, an otherwise sensitive exploration of mental illness through the eyes of horror just becomes another serial killer pulp with a shopworn representation of someone with psychosis being an axe-wielding monster. I think Sara Tantlinger is far too talented for that. And this makes some of the author's more progressive themes less poignant, particularly Andi's interracial sapphist relationship with a married woman which is not understood by her rural backwoods neighbors and thus furthers her isolation. Andi as a cartoon villain with a stereotypical short circuit in the brain implies that she does platitudinous "amoral" things. So, is the grumpy old farmer next door who makes passive-aggressive comments about her girlfriend a racist homophobe or is he just an experienced and empathic man who knows that Andi can't make a decision that isn't based on maladaptive self-loathing and which will ultimately lead to both Andi and her girlfriend getting seriously hurt? I don't think the author intended for readers to even consider this question, but if she did, all the more reason why Andi should have been better developed as a whole person and not just as a fledgling cannibal.
All of this exploration of the great potential of this book would have required it to be worked into a full novel. But perhaps we should be thankful it isn't longer than what it is, because it is quite a rough ride.
So my goal with this review is to simply warn folks about books with glowing reviews across the board, as seen here so far. The excitement of some readers to be one of the first to give a new book or author a chance sometimes does unintentional harm, because the hype stirs people to such high expectations that they become more disappointed with the end result than they should be. You see this a lot with newer books and film that get 5-stars consistently for the first year or two, then the one and two stars start showing up with all the jokes about "what do people see in this?" Such would be an unnecessary fate for "To Be Devoured." I think this is a damn good horror story, but it is far from perfect, and you should know that.
But this book does get the genre right in so many ways, and I look forward to reading more of Sara Tantlinger's growing ouvre and discovering what she can bring to the world of books in the coming years!
February 11, 2024
the writing is disgustingly exquisite. this is one of the best horror novellas/books ive ever read.
January 31, 2021
Easily one of my favorite novellas of all time. Sara Tantlinger is an icon of horror.
February 11, 2023
Can dead flesh hold anger? Mine would. Mine would be the most excruciatingly bitter of them all.
After hearing so many people rave about Sara's writing, I'm so glad I finally had the chance to check out her work. I went into To Be Devoured with high hopes and solid expectations, and I was not disappointed in the least. It's a tremendously twisted, ridiculously messed up novella about grief, rage, mental illness, and looking for acceptance in a world that often makes us feel out of place — but it's also a disgusting, graphic piece of work that turned even my stomach (which honestly happens very rarely!).
What saccharine horror waits, harbored in the darkness of the woods where the vultures circle?
There isn't much I can say about the plot within these pages without spoiling things, so I'll only tell you that it's a roller coaster worth taking a ride on. I also genuinely appreciated the fact that it's a horror story featuring a lesbian as a main character and it doesn't shy away from the sweet and steamy aspects of her relationship with her partner — that representation is surely something we don't see often enough in the horror genre, and as a fellow queer woman, I enjoyed it a lot (even if that relationship does frequently come to some shocking and dreadful places).
Altogether, To Be Devoured is a story you just can't afford to miss, if you enjoy graphic, hard-hitting horror. It got under my skin in a way most authors and stories aren't capable of doing, and I don't see it crawling back out any time soon.
Content warnings for violence, death, mentions of suicide, mentions of child death, animal abuse and death, body horror,
June 9, 2021
Lyrically written, utterly terrifying. Raw and original. My favorite.
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.
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P.S. Ms. Tantlinger, If you are reading this, um... hi! (please accept my awkward *wave*). Big fan here.
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P.S. Ms. Tantlinger, If you are reading this, um... hi! (please accept my awkward *wave*). Big fan here.
November 10, 2021
not the deranged slay i was expecting sigh
August 23, 2023
Within this exploration of sensuous and self-destructive horrors, I unfortunately only came away with a lovely turn of phrase here and there, and a lot that I’ve seen executed more magnificently and appallingly elsewhere.
However, it is always my mission to point out that this is a new voice in horror that should absolutely be fostered, developed, and aim for new heights, because the glimpses of dark artistic genius I saw in here could absolutely syphon out into sublime realms.
However, it is always my mission to point out that this is a new voice in horror that should absolutely be fostered, developed, and aim for new heights, because the glimpses of dark artistic genius I saw in here could absolutely syphon out into sublime realms.
February 27, 2022
No tengo las palabras adecuadas para describir lo que esta novela corta me ha hecho sentir.
Voy a intentarlo.
Esta fue la seleccionada por mi, para la lectura conjunta que hacemos todos los meses mi Loca de los libros y yo. Elegí una novela corta para que me diera tiempo a llegar 🤣🤣 y porque le tenía muchísimas ganas por otras reseñas que había leído.
Y...vaya. Las reseñas se quedan cortas, es de esos libros que tienes que leer para entender.
¿A qué sabe la carroña? Esta es la primera frase que nos vamos a encontrar en la sinopsis, cuanto menos, tentador. Podríamos llegar a pensar que quizás se trate de una metáfora. Pero no.
Es así tal cual.
Comencemos por el principio. Al inicio del libro se nos presentan a dos personajes Andi y su novia Luna. Andi está inmersa en un proyecto que a su novia no parece hacerle demasiada gracia. Andi asiste a terapia, ha tenido una infancia dura, y necesita aplacar esa ira que siente. En una de sus vueltas a casa se fija en una bandada de buitres.
Esos buitres serán la música en la que bailará Andi, siente fascinación por ellos y quiere ser como ellos. Ellos aceptan a todo el mundo, a todos los cuerpos.
Se obsesiona. A tal punto que, como dice la sinopsis, necesita saber a que sabe la carne cruda. Ya no es sólo curiosidad, su estómago y todo su ser reclama que esa curiosidad sea saciada.
Y en este punto de no retorno, empieza el descenso a la locura de Andi. Su obsesión va más allá llegando al punto de ser implacable, llegando al punto de confeccionar sus propias alas para ser libre.
Una novela corta dura. Muy explícita y desagradable. La manera de narrar en primera persona hace que el viaje sea completo, que lo veas y sientas desde su propia perspectiva, como si lo estuvieras haciendo tú.
Andi tiene muchos problemas y eso se refleja en cada página, he sentido mucha pena por ella.
Y también mucha aversión. Para mí ha sido una combinación perfecta, porque la autora ha conseguido lo que se proponía.
Tras leerlo entiendo perfectamente que fuese obra ganadora del premio Ladies of horror fiction y finalista de los premios Bran Stoker, merecidísimo.
Le seguiré la pista la autora porque si todo lo que escribe va a en esta línea a mí me ha ganado. Aparte, la edición es maravillosa. Dilatando Mentes apuesta muy fuerte por estas novelas y el mimo que ponen en sus ediciones se nota. Plagada de dibujos de buitres, en cada esquinita observando la cara que pones según vas leyendo ciertas cosas 🦅
Y esas páginas finales denominadas "miscelaneas" que tratan y te dan datos acerca de la temática de la novela.
Chapó!
Voy a intentarlo.
Esta fue la seleccionada por mi, para la lectura conjunta que hacemos todos los meses mi Loca de los libros y yo. Elegí una novela corta para que me diera tiempo a llegar 🤣🤣 y porque le tenía muchísimas ganas por otras reseñas que había leído.
Y...vaya. Las reseñas se quedan cortas, es de esos libros que tienes que leer para entender.
¿A qué sabe la carroña? Esta es la primera frase que nos vamos a encontrar en la sinopsis, cuanto menos, tentador. Podríamos llegar a pensar que quizás se trate de una metáfora. Pero no.
Es así tal cual.
Comencemos por el principio. Al inicio del libro se nos presentan a dos personajes Andi y su novia Luna. Andi está inmersa en un proyecto que a su novia no parece hacerle demasiada gracia. Andi asiste a terapia, ha tenido una infancia dura, y necesita aplacar esa ira que siente. En una de sus vueltas a casa se fija en una bandada de buitres.
Esos buitres serán la música en la que bailará Andi, siente fascinación por ellos y quiere ser como ellos. Ellos aceptan a todo el mundo, a todos los cuerpos.
Se obsesiona. A tal punto que, como dice la sinopsis, necesita saber a que sabe la carne cruda. Ya no es sólo curiosidad, su estómago y todo su ser reclama que esa curiosidad sea saciada.
Y en este punto de no retorno, empieza el descenso a la locura de Andi. Su obsesión va más allá llegando al punto de ser implacable, llegando al punto de confeccionar sus propias alas para ser libre.
Una novela corta dura. Muy explícita y desagradable. La manera de narrar en primera persona hace que el viaje sea completo, que lo veas y sientas desde su propia perspectiva, como si lo estuvieras haciendo tú.
Andi tiene muchos problemas y eso se refleja en cada página, he sentido mucha pena por ella.
Y también mucha aversión. Para mí ha sido una combinación perfecta, porque la autora ha conseguido lo que se proponía.
Tras leerlo entiendo perfectamente que fuese obra ganadora del premio Ladies of horror fiction y finalista de los premios Bran Stoker, merecidísimo.
Le seguiré la pista la autora porque si todo lo que escribe va a en esta línea a mí me ha ganado. Aparte, la edición es maravillosa. Dilatando Mentes apuesta muy fuerte por estas novelas y el mimo que ponen en sus ediciones se nota. Plagada de dibujos de buitres, en cada esquinita observando la cara que pones según vas leyendo ciertas cosas 🦅
Y esas páginas finales denominadas "miscelaneas" que tratan y te dan datos acerca de la temática de la novela.
Chapó!
June 7, 2021
Poético, deprimente, desagradable.
September 29, 2024
After reading the introduction, I prepared myself for a life-changing reading experience because I do not think I have read an introduction with such high praise. However, the reading experience did not turn out to be life-changing.
The concept of this novella was grotesque, heartbreaking, and revolting—just as it needed to be. While the thematics were very prominent and the set intention brilliant, I never felt it landed quite right.
The book follows Andi, a woman who experienced a traumatic experience at a young age and is now spending her life floating around her mind, trying to figure out who she is and where she belongs in mental isolation from the world around her. While the book is meant to be seen through the narrowed eyes of Andi, and it serves well to do so, I felt as though to have connected with the story on a deeper level and find it more devastating than it already was, I would have liked a more potent emotional foundation for the story.
Andi slowly loses grip on reality as the story progresses, and in her finds, the only thing that functions as a slight anchor for her is her girlfriend, Luna. As the book covers, Andi has this unhealthy obsession with Luna that borders more on crazy than love. However, I did not feel the book managed to show that, more so, tell the reader, which was a shame. Had the emotional depth between Andi and Luna been described better, I believe the ending would have acted more powerfully than it did.
The novella was undoubtedly a well-written work, but the emotional disappointment I felt between the characters while reading it provided a somewhat disappointing experience.
To Be Devoured is an interesting novella that covers dark and heartbreaking topics in graphic and grotesque ways, not for people with sensitive stomachs.
This is not a novella that will go down as a favorite of mine, but if you are curious about how horror can be written in a more graphic and off-putting way, this might be an option.
The concept of this novella was grotesque, heartbreaking, and revolting—just as it needed to be. While the thematics were very prominent and the set intention brilliant, I never felt it landed quite right.
The book follows Andi, a woman who experienced a traumatic experience at a young age and is now spending her life floating around her mind, trying to figure out who she is and where she belongs in mental isolation from the world around her. While the book is meant to be seen through the narrowed eyes of Andi, and it serves well to do so, I felt as though to have connected with the story on a deeper level and find it more devastating than it already was, I would have liked a more potent emotional foundation for the story.
Andi slowly loses grip on reality as the story progresses, and in her finds, the only thing that functions as a slight anchor for her is her girlfriend, Luna. As the book covers, Andi has this unhealthy obsession with Luna that borders more on crazy than love. However, I did not feel the book managed to show that, more so, tell the reader, which was a shame. Had the emotional depth between Andi and Luna been described better, I believe the ending would have acted more powerfully than it did.
The novella was undoubtedly a well-written work, but the emotional disappointment I felt between the characters while reading it provided a somewhat disappointing experience.
To Be Devoured is an interesting novella that covers dark and heartbreaking topics in graphic and grotesque ways, not for people with sensitive stomachs.
This is not a novella that will go down as a favorite of mine, but if you are curious about how horror can be written in a more graphic and off-putting way, this might be an option.
May 21, 2020
I'm going to be thinking about this one for awhile
*Screams*
*Screams*
Read
July 19, 2021i’m not surprised someone named andi would do this
March 6, 2023
Can’t a bitch just EAT pussy.
January 11, 2024
“Our deaths deserve no other meaning than to be devoured.”
Writing like this is why I fucking love horror, and I honestly can’t pay higher compliments to a writer than the ones I’d give to Sara Tantlinger. I’ve read her poetry before, and it blew me away with how hauntingly melodic it was, in the most beautifully visceral way. I would use that exact same term – beautifully visceral – of her novella writing as well.
She has such a gift for taking horrible, ugly, heartbreaking things and making you ache for them, and with them. Her descriptions are full of color and texture, making things feel tangible in a way that other writers just aren’t able to do.
I mean, in her very first paragraph of this novella, she describes the early morning sky as, “morphing periwinkle clouds into buttery tones of the rising sun”. Her writing is just so pretty, and the fact that she’s able to write both gorgeous descriptions like this, as well as stomach-turningly horrible stuff like what comes in the later pages is mindblowing and totally worth my fangirling and awe.
This novella is not only one of my favorites of 2019, but of everything I’ve read in horror fiction as well. While I wouldn’t be able to recommend it for everyone due to how extreme and graphic some of the more disturbing parts are (some people just don’t do well with those sorts of things), if you don’t have a weak tummy and are not faint of heart, I’d definitely urge you to seek it out.
I love the unreliable narration that comes with a character struggling with their mental health, and this novella is no exception. Andi’s character is flawed, and tragic – a horrific past trauma haunts her, and the feelings she expresses early on in the story about her rage and pain are completely relatable. There’s a particular scene where she describes her feelings of rejection after a gift she tries giving her girlfriend, Luna, goes awry, and my stomach actually physically hurt because I felt so bad for her, and for how humiliated and hurt she must feel.
Despite how relatable she is at times, Andi takes a turn and quickly becomes quite unrelatable as she slips down a steep slope into the darkest parts of her innermost thoughts. She becomes strangely obsessed with vultures, and with the dead – particularly, with eating dead flesh and wondering if that would help fix the emptiness she feels. Reading about this girl’s struggle upped the emotional aspect of the novella for me; you can tell that she doesn’t realize how far gone she is, or how unreasonable she’s become, and it’s almost like watching someone you’ve begun to care about slip away into madness.
I won’t say anything else, ’cause I really don’t want to spoil this one for you, and it’s one I’d definitely recommend reading (with the disclaimer about how intensely graphic it gets above). The scenes and story will stay with you for a long time – it’s been almost two months since I finished it, and it still pops into my mind from time to time, unsettling me and making me want to read more of Sara’s writing all at once.
___________________________
Find me outside of Goodreads!
Substack | Instagram | YouTube
Writing like this is why I fucking love horror, and I honestly can’t pay higher compliments to a writer than the ones I’d give to Sara Tantlinger. I’ve read her poetry before, and it blew me away with how hauntingly melodic it was, in the most beautifully visceral way. I would use that exact same term – beautifully visceral – of her novella writing as well.
She has such a gift for taking horrible, ugly, heartbreaking things and making you ache for them, and with them. Her descriptions are full of color and texture, making things feel tangible in a way that other writers just aren’t able to do.
I mean, in her very first paragraph of this novella, she describes the early morning sky as, “morphing periwinkle clouds into buttery tones of the rising sun”. Her writing is just so pretty, and the fact that she’s able to write both gorgeous descriptions like this, as well as stomach-turningly horrible stuff like what comes in the later pages is mindblowing and totally worth my fangirling and awe.
This novella is not only one of my favorites of 2019, but of everything I’ve read in horror fiction as well. While I wouldn’t be able to recommend it for everyone due to how extreme and graphic some of the more disturbing parts are (some people just don’t do well with those sorts of things), if you don’t have a weak tummy and are not faint of heart, I’d definitely urge you to seek it out.
I love the unreliable narration that comes with a character struggling with their mental health, and this novella is no exception. Andi’s character is flawed, and tragic – a horrific past trauma haunts her, and the feelings she expresses early on in the story about her rage and pain are completely relatable. There’s a particular scene where she describes her feelings of rejection after a gift she tries giving her girlfriend, Luna, goes awry, and my stomach actually physically hurt because I felt so bad for her, and for how humiliated and hurt she must feel.
Despite how relatable she is at times, Andi takes a turn and quickly becomes quite unrelatable as she slips down a steep slope into the darkest parts of her innermost thoughts. She becomes strangely obsessed with vultures, and with the dead – particularly, with eating dead flesh and wondering if that would help fix the emptiness she feels. Reading about this girl’s struggle upped the emotional aspect of the novella for me; you can tell that she doesn’t realize how far gone she is, or how unreasonable she’s become, and it’s almost like watching someone you’ve begun to care about slip away into madness.
I won’t say anything else, ’cause I really don’t want to spoil this one for you, and it’s one I’d definitely recommend reading (with the disclaimer about how intensely graphic it gets above). The scenes and story will stay with you for a long time – it’s been almost two months since I finished it, and it still pops into my mind from time to time, unsettling me and making me want to read more of Sara’s writing all at once.
___________________________
Find me outside of Goodreads!
Substack | Instagram | YouTube
April 12, 2021
Hay momentos en la vida en los que quieres estallar. Instantes en los que sientes como el aire desaparece de tus pulmones impidiéndote, si quiera, gritar. Por mucho que lo intentes, por mucho que trates de agarrarte a un clavo ardiendo, los acontecimientos te desbordarán demostrándote que no hay voluntad capaz de doblegar la realidad.
En esos instantes tu mente se quiebra. Quizás forzada por la ira acumulada ante lo injusto de lo que te ocurre o porque, simplemente, nunca encontró un resquicio para la calma. La soledad te invita a pensar, a mirar a tu alrededor. Ves como eres carne podrida, mente podrida, vida podrida. Alimento para esos buitres que vuelan libres a tu alrededor disfrutando de su denostado papel en el mundo. Mente podrida, vida podrida, carne podrida...
Conocer la vida de Andi, que te narra en primera persona la dureza de un pasado que la impide seguir adelante, es una invitación a adentrarte en los oscuros pasillos que desembocan en su ira. Su desesperación, sus gritos ante una sociedad que le ha dado de lado, su búsqueda de oxígeno en medio de un bosque tenebroso que la convierten en un ser que está a punto de resquebrajarse. Los únicos momentos de tranquilidad en la vida de Andi los proporcionan una terapeuta enferma que pronto también la abandonará y su alma gemela, el único amor que parece equilibrar una mente llena de grises y que tratará de entender una desesperación para la que no hay vuelta atrás.
Cuando todo se viene abajo el horror se desata.
Este libro no es sencillo de leer. En más de una ocasión te obligarás a apartar la mirada ante las imágenes que consigue generar Sara Tantlinger con sus palabras. Porque su peculiar manera de narrar nos hace participe de ese descenso paulatino hacia los infiernos que desata su protagonista, entendiéndolo, haciéndonos partícipes de lo que hace y, sobre todo, de como lo hace. En más de una ocasión sentirás sus arcadas como propias, notarás el olor viciado de la sangre en tu mente y sentirás la provocación de lo podrido recorriendo tu cuerpo. Un libro de terror necesita inquietar, necesita sacarte de tu zona de confort, darte puñetazos a cada palabra hasta que apartas la mirada. Este es uno de esos libros que no te dejarán indiferente.
El horror espera siempre el momento adecuado para acercarse. Y luego, se queda contigo para siempre.
En esos instantes tu mente se quiebra. Quizás forzada por la ira acumulada ante lo injusto de lo que te ocurre o porque, simplemente, nunca encontró un resquicio para la calma. La soledad te invita a pensar, a mirar a tu alrededor. Ves como eres carne podrida, mente podrida, vida podrida. Alimento para esos buitres que vuelan libres a tu alrededor disfrutando de su denostado papel en el mundo. Mente podrida, vida podrida, carne podrida...
Conocer la vida de Andi, que te narra en primera persona la dureza de un pasado que la impide seguir adelante, es una invitación a adentrarte en los oscuros pasillos que desembocan en su ira. Su desesperación, sus gritos ante una sociedad que le ha dado de lado, su búsqueda de oxígeno en medio de un bosque tenebroso que la convierten en un ser que está a punto de resquebrajarse. Los únicos momentos de tranquilidad en la vida de Andi los proporcionan una terapeuta enferma que pronto también la abandonará y su alma gemela, el único amor que parece equilibrar una mente llena de grises y que tratará de entender una desesperación para la que no hay vuelta atrás.
Cuando todo se viene abajo el horror se desata.
Este libro no es sencillo de leer. En más de una ocasión te obligarás a apartar la mirada ante las imágenes que consigue generar Sara Tantlinger con sus palabras. Porque su peculiar manera de narrar nos hace participe de ese descenso paulatino hacia los infiernos que desata su protagonista, entendiéndolo, haciéndonos partícipes de lo que hace y, sobre todo, de como lo hace. En más de una ocasión sentirás sus arcadas como propias, notarás el olor viciado de la sangre en tu mente y sentirás la provocación de lo podrido recorriendo tu cuerpo. Un libro de terror necesita inquietar, necesita sacarte de tu zona de confort, darte puñetazos a cada palabra hasta que apartas la mirada. Este es uno de esos libros que no te dejarán indiferente.
El horror espera siempre el momento adecuado para acercarse. Y luego, se queda contigo para siempre.
September 21, 2024
Beautifully written.
Disgusting but not as disgusting as I thought it would be. ( I've read A LOT worse)
Overall lesson: seek therapy before it's too late 😂
Disgusting but not as disgusting as I thought it would be. ( I've read A LOT worse)
Overall lesson: seek therapy before it's too late 😂
January 31, 2024
A vegan's nightmare.
I feel unhinged after reading Andi's thoughts, would forever stay a vegetarian. Thank you for this rude awakening.
The proses are so lovely, but the gore those prose hid was even better. Queer, murderous, ravenous hunger and extreme obssession. I am so fascinated by the writing and the concept.
I feel unhinged after reading Andi's thoughts, would forever stay a vegetarian. Thank you for this rude awakening.
The proses are so lovely, but the gore those prose hid was even better. Queer, murderous, ravenous hunger and extreme obssession. I am so fascinated by the writing and the concept.
August 2, 2022
"Gracioso, sí, pero no gracioso de risa, gracioso de raro", es lo que pensaba cuando leí este libro. Puede que los reels me hayan quemado la cabeza, pero también le atribuyo un poco el daño a lo curioso de este libro. Y aunque estuvo rarísimo, lo disfruté un montón.
July 10, 2021
an incredibly well written, disturbing & morbid horror novella. did not expect these levels of absolute fuckery, but i really loved it!
June 21, 2022
What a delight, a brilliant gut punch. Nausea and a pounding heart had me devouring every last page.
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