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The Burn Journals: A Memoir
I don’t want to get out of bed.
I’m so stupid.
I did so many things wrong.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m going to be in so much trouble.
What am I going to do?
I’m completely screwed.
In 1991, fourteen-year-old Brent Runyon came home from school, doused his bathrobe in gasoline, put it on, and lit a match.
He suffered third-degree burns over 85% of his body and spent the next year recovering in hospitals and rehab facilities. During that year of physical recovery, Runyon began to question what he’d done, undertaking the complicated journey from near-death back to high school, and from suicide back to the emotional mainstream of life.
In the tradition of Running with Scissors and Girl, Interrupted, The Burn Journals is a truly remarkable book about teenage despair and recovery.
I’m so stupid.
I did so many things wrong.
I don’t know what to do.
I’m going to be in so much trouble.
What am I going to do?
I’m completely screwed.
In 1991, fourteen-year-old Brent Runyon came home from school, doused his bathrobe in gasoline, put it on, and lit a match.
He suffered third-degree burns over 85% of his body and spent the next year recovering in hospitals and rehab facilities. During that year of physical recovery, Runyon began to question what he’d done, undertaking the complicated journey from near-death back to high school, and from suicide back to the emotional mainstream of life.
In the tradition of Running with Scissors and Girl, Interrupted, The Burn Journals is a truly remarkable book about teenage despair and recovery.
336 pages, Paperback
First published September 14, 2004
About the author
Brent Runyon
6 books78 followersBrent Runyon was 14 years old when he set himself on fire. His first book, The Burn Journals, is a memoir of his suicide survival. He is a contributor to public radio's This American Life, and lives on Cape Cod, where he works as a newspaper reporter. His third book, Surface Tension: A Novel in Four Summers, written with longtime collaborator Christina Egloff, is in bookstores now.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 922 reviews
April 10, 2022
I had heard nothing but good reviews of this book. It's a memoir about a young boy who attempted suicide by burning and his recovery. While an interesting and honest read by turns, I felt only half of the story was being told. Perhaps that's all the author was dealing with at the time - or at the time of the writing. In either case, I felt that the emotional and psychological aspects of this journey were missing. That really left me flat. Not that I expected the answer to life's big questions, but there didn't seem to be much progress in this area from the opening line to the last page. There was a bit glossed over in the afterward on this topic, but I still had hoped for more. Then again, I've been told I have high expectations.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 26, 2008
I have to admit, I read this as soon as I got home (took me about and hour and a bit, I think). I liked it a lot. It was gritty, genuine and thought provoking.
I read some reviews on Amazon.com and some people were bitching about the writing style, and the fact that Brent post-burns was still OMG! a real person who got pissed off, disliked people and actually thought about sex and girls. To me, this is stupid. I mean, think of the situation. You're a fourteen and a half year old male who has been in almost total isolation for months, who hasn't had any stimulation besides TV, and you're naked on a massage table. A buxom 20-something year old woman is massaging you everywhere except your gentitals to stop the scar tissue hardening. What straight male in that situation wouldn't be desperately trying not to get a hard-on?
Much of Brent's frustration comes from dealing with the irritating-as-shit psychologists (all "why do you say that?", "how do you feel about that?" and making him look at inkblots) he encounters, and the lack of programs for kids in his situation. At the rehabilitation hospital he was grouped with brain injury and spinal injury patients, and saw only one other burns kid. At the outpatient centre once he moved back home, all the others had eating disorders or drug issues.
His descriptions of contact with celebrities Magic Johnson, Dennis Miller and Jay Leno paint an interesting view of what it's like to be a beacon for passing 'charity' visits. He doesn't glorify the experience out of proportion, rather, puts it in perspective. Magic spent only a few minutes with Brent, Dennis took him for a spin in a limo, towards the end complaining to the driver that he'd better not be lost because he had a plane to catch. Both offered tickets for shows, then are gone. Brent doesn't hold back discribing the awkward silences, and unreality of the situations. It portrays these encounters as what they really are. Rather than glorious turning points, they are blips on a radar. Anomalies that change little in Brent's life.
I liked this book. It wasn't syrupy and saccharine, with a 'Brent's now a lovely person who's achieved so much' ending. You feel Brent's frustration with life, both prior to his suicide attempt and during his recovery. His family isn't perfect, he isn't sweet, courageous and lovable like some people seem to think people with 'special needs', 'obstacles' and 'struggles' should be. He's someone who touched bottom, lived through it, and is trying to get on with his life.
I read some reviews on Amazon.com and some people were bitching about the writing style, and the fact that Brent post-burns was still OMG! a real person who got pissed off, disliked people and actually thought about sex and girls. To me, this is stupid. I mean, think of the situation. You're a fourteen and a half year old male who has been in almost total isolation for months, who hasn't had any stimulation besides TV, and you're naked on a massage table. A buxom 20-something year old woman is massaging you everywhere except your gentitals to stop the scar tissue hardening. What straight male in that situation wouldn't be desperately trying not to get a hard-on?
Much of Brent's frustration comes from dealing with the irritating-as-shit psychologists (all "why do you say that?", "how do you feel about that?" and making him look at inkblots) he encounters, and the lack of programs for kids in his situation. At the rehabilitation hospital he was grouped with brain injury and spinal injury patients, and saw only one other burns kid. At the outpatient centre once he moved back home, all the others had eating disorders or drug issues.
His descriptions of contact with celebrities Magic Johnson, Dennis Miller and Jay Leno paint an interesting view of what it's like to be a beacon for passing 'charity' visits. He doesn't glorify the experience out of proportion, rather, puts it in perspective. Magic spent only a few minutes with Brent, Dennis took him for a spin in a limo, towards the end complaining to the driver that he'd better not be lost because he had a plane to catch. Both offered tickets for shows, then are gone. Brent doesn't hold back discribing the awkward silences, and unreality of the situations. It portrays these encounters as what they really are. Rather than glorious turning points, they are blips on a radar. Anomalies that change little in Brent's life.
I liked this book. It wasn't syrupy and saccharine, with a 'Brent's now a lovely person who's achieved so much' ending. You feel Brent's frustration with life, both prior to his suicide attempt and during his recovery. His family isn't perfect, he isn't sweet, courageous and lovable like some people seem to think people with 'special needs', 'obstacles' and 'struggles' should be. He's someone who touched bottom, lived through it, and is trying to get on with his life.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 28, 2007
At age fourteen Brent Runyon came home from a bad day at school, doused himself with gasoline, and lit a match. Immediately, he regretted his painful suicide attempt. By the time help came he had already suffered second and third degree burns to 85% of his body. The stuff of dark fiction? No, the memoir of a young man whose story is as compelling as it is horrifying. Though Brent survived, the following months were undoutbedly the most painful of his life. He went through skin grafts, burn treatment, physical therapy and psychoanalysis, luckily all with his family by his side. The question that everyone kept asking, and the one Brent couldn't answer was, why? Why did you do this? Slowly it becomes clear, that he was suffering from a terrible depression, one he could not explain to anyone, not even to himself. In the afterword, the author points out that his story of depression and the slow road to recovery is one that millions of teens could also tell--"the only thing unique about my story is the rather unfortunate and dramatic way in which it tried to kill myself." I'd beg to differ--his story is unique not only because of the method of attempted suicide but in the way he is able to recreate the thought processes of the teenage boy he was. For example there are the words Brent says, and the words Brent thinks. A world of difference lies between the two. There is the Brent who wants everyone to like him, and the Brent who wants no one to look at him. There is the self-concious kid and the angry, confused kid who is capable of odd glimmers of deep self-knowledge. This memoir read like a novel, and the adult Brent never intrudes on the thought processes he recreates of his young self. It was both harrowing and enlightening and definitely worth the read.
October 20, 2007
FIRST - this book should not be placed in the Young Adult section. I know that it's based on when he was a teen but it's got so much talk about sex, drugs and every other word seems like a cuss word. Just doesn't seem teen appropriate for me. Plus I don't think a teenager would be able to understand or connect with the book and it's subject matters.
This book was very helpful on giving insight on what it's like for people who have had something happened to them or feel out of the ordinary. I had a friend in high school who was in a car accident and was paralyzed from it and I thought that this had to be something similar as to how he felt when it came to seeing old friends again and starting a new life as a new person.
Brent seemed a little off to me throughout the whole book. Like something just wasn't right. Even before the incident. He just had a crappy attitude but then everyone would call that typical teenage attitude. But even after the incident his attitude didn't seem to change much. He seemed like a good kid in his thoughts but to others he just seemed bratty.
He wrote this book so well that I could sometimes empathize with him. It's so sad to be so young and make such a careless mistake and have to live with that for the rest of your life. For being such a young kid I thought that he dealt with it well.
This book was very helpful on giving insight on what it's like for people who have had something happened to them or feel out of the ordinary. I had a friend in high school who was in a car accident and was paralyzed from it and I thought that this had to be something similar as to how he felt when it came to seeing old friends again and starting a new life as a new person.
Brent seemed a little off to me throughout the whole book. Like something just wasn't right. Even before the incident. He just had a crappy attitude but then everyone would call that typical teenage attitude. But even after the incident his attitude didn't seem to change much. He seemed like a good kid in his thoughts but to others he just seemed bratty.
He wrote this book so well that I could sometimes empathize with him. It's so sad to be so young and make such a careless mistake and have to live with that for the rest of your life. For being such a young kid I thought that he dealt with it well.
February 12, 2020
MAN, I did not like this book. I know the author went through an incredible amount of suffering (after setting himself on fire when he was 14), but instead of offering insight into the mindset of a depressed, impetuous teenager, and learning why he did it and what he learned from it, the book just felt like a reminder into what little sh*ts teenage boys can be. I found the character of Teen Runyon to be so incredibly off-putting (it's written in the first person, so there's no escaping his nonstop complaining about every single person and thing), and there seemed to be absolutely no advancement in his emotional recovery, so there was no sense of any personal growth or denouement. I constantly had to remind myself to be empathetic – the kid had to recover from burns to 85% of his body, right? What kind of monster am I to dislike this damaged soul so much? But here we are. I'm a monster, and I hated this book.
February 11, 2014
I'm not sure what I was expecting out of this book. I certainly didn't expect an adult author to write this memoir of his suicide attempt as if he were still a teenager.
And by that I don't mean his thoughts and feelings at the time of the attempt and the recovery through the burn unit and therapy. The mind of a teenager is a frightening thing with their selfishness and contempt for others, including family. It's more about how every phase of his recovery felt incomplete. Even the book's ending felt rushed and incomplete. The blurb mentioned his struggles to go back to high school and how he would handle going back to a school with new classmates and some old ones who would know what he had done. Some of it is mentioned, but that's as far as the book went. No word on how he actually handled that first year of school with his scars and the things he had to wear to minimize the scars.
Overall, a disappointing read. This was a story that told a story, but didn't make me feel sorry for him and at times I wanted to chuck the book out a window.
And by that I don't mean his thoughts and feelings at the time of the attempt and the recovery through the burn unit and therapy. The mind of a teenager is a frightening thing with their selfishness and contempt for others, including family. It's more about how every phase of his recovery felt incomplete. Even the book's ending felt rushed and incomplete. The blurb mentioned his struggles to go back to high school and how he would handle going back to a school with new classmates and some old ones who would know what he had done. Some of it is mentioned, but that's as far as the book went. No word on how he actually handled that first year of school with his scars and the things he had to wear to minimize the scars.
Overall, a disappointing read. This was a story that told a story, but didn't make me feel sorry for him and at times I wanted to chuck the book out a window.
February 27, 2015
I enjoyed this book a lot, it was written as though you were inside the mind of Brent, battling these dark thoughts and trying to figure himself out. The book is raw and honest, not leaving anything out. It started tragically but ended beautifully. I really enjoyed this book.
October 25, 2012
This is a poignant memoir by a man who relates his tale of his decision to commit suicide by setting himself on fire. I had high expectations for this book. Prior to reading, I had the impression that this would be a seminal work for others - as well as family and friends who know someone - suffering from depression, low self-esteem, and suicidal tendencies. I thought this narrative would provide 1) personal insights as to the thoughts and motivations for the author’s actions, and 2) that while actions have consequences, there are always alternatives.
Unfortunately, this book falls severely short on so many levels.
The stream-of-consciousness narrative style sets an effective tempo for the memoir. This format works well from the beginning of the book through the pivotal act and initial stages of his recovery. The moody mind of the unstable teenage boy set a portentous tone. The immediate thoughts, fears, and impressions that run like an out of control train through the author’s mind during this first part of the book are heart-rending. As the horror of his actions set in with the author, so do they with the reader.
However, a stylistic shift would have served the author and the reader better in gaining insight into the latter stages of recovery and reflection. The author’s chosen stream-of-consciousness style, obviously does not allow for such "20/20-hindsight” perceptions to share with the reader. Instead, by continuing in the same manner, the rest of the book’s only major insights gleaned are the coarseness of a teenage boy’s mind.
The author’s reticence to communicate with his therapists and family is disconcerting. The author may have been able to emotionally and mentally “recover” on his own. However, this does not mean that everyone can do the same. This is not made clear, and I think this is important to other, vulnerable readers, who may get the impression that a similarly tragic event is easy to navigate, once done. The therapists he describes are pitiable. Now, I know this is the author’s impression, but if it is anywhere near accurate, I am appalled.
Equally, discontenting is the lack of explanations and insights in this narrative. Again, I blame this on the style as it leaves little to no latitude for the author to provide perceptions based on years of reflection. Similarly, many questions are raised, but are left dangling in the air, like a cliff-hanger for next season’s TV series premiere.
Overall, I am left dissatisfied with the book. Maybe I set my expectations too high. Then, I find videos online of teenagers mimicking the “burn” scene for school projects. These productions are good at capturing the desolation felt by the author, but they lack the true horror of the aftermath, not just for the author but his family, friends, and community.
Unfortunately, this book falls severely short on so many levels.
The stream-of-consciousness narrative style sets an effective tempo for the memoir. This format works well from the beginning of the book through the pivotal act and initial stages of his recovery. The moody mind of the unstable teenage boy set a portentous tone. The immediate thoughts, fears, and impressions that run like an out of control train through the author’s mind during this first part of the book are heart-rending. As the horror of his actions set in with the author, so do they with the reader.
However, a stylistic shift would have served the author and the reader better in gaining insight into the latter stages of recovery and reflection. The author’s chosen stream-of-consciousness style, obviously does not allow for such "20/20-hindsight” perceptions to share with the reader. Instead, by continuing in the same manner, the rest of the book’s only major insights gleaned are the coarseness of a teenage boy’s mind.
The author’s reticence to communicate with his therapists and family is disconcerting. The author may have been able to emotionally and mentally “recover” on his own. However, this does not mean that everyone can do the same. This is not made clear, and I think this is important to other, vulnerable readers, who may get the impression that a similarly tragic event is easy to navigate, once done. The therapists he describes are pitiable. Now, I know this is the author’s impression, but if it is anywhere near accurate, I am appalled.
Equally, discontenting is the lack of explanations and insights in this narrative. Again, I blame this on the style as it leaves little to no latitude for the author to provide perceptions based on years of reflection. Similarly, many questions are raised, but are left dangling in the air, like a cliff-hanger for next season’s TV series premiere.
Overall, I am left dissatisfied with the book. Maybe I set my expectations too high. Then, I find videos online of teenagers mimicking the “burn” scene for school projects. These productions are good at capturing the desolation felt by the author, but they lack the true horror of the aftermath, not just for the author but his family, friends, and community.
June 15, 2015
3.5 stars rounded down.
The subject matter is sad and I feel that it's not right to criticize the "plot", as it is Runyon's life.
Some stylistic devices could have been used better though. I had trouble with the choppy one-line dialogue. Often lost track of who was speaking, and had to reread much of the conversational material. Also, I didn't like the way Runyon talked about women. It was often vulgar and unnecessary, and I just wasn't comfortable with it.
Other than those flaws, Runyon gives readers an honest look into the life of someone who, in his words, "made a mistake". If you read this book for anything, read it for the non-sugarcoated description of depression.
The subject matter is sad and I feel that it's not right to criticize the "plot", as it is Runyon's life.
Some stylistic devices could have been used better though. I had trouble with the choppy one-line dialogue. Often lost track of who was speaking, and had to reread much of the conversational material. Also, I didn't like the way Runyon talked about women. It was often vulgar and unnecessary, and I just wasn't comfortable with it.
Other than those flaws, Runyon gives readers an honest look into the life of someone who, in his words, "made a mistake". If you read this book for anything, read it for the non-sugarcoated description of depression.
Read
October 8, 2012I think the authors purpose of writing this story is to help explain what stressed teens go through or how suicide can be a big deal towards teens. to inform the readers about suicide awareness, or even persuade them into knowing that maybe we can do things to stop suicidal thoughts towards themselves. Everyone has their own purpose of doing things. And this Author chose to express is in his book.
The theme I got from the book when reading it was that accepting who you are is part of growing up. There is always trouble in your adolescence such as liking the same person as your friend. And getting in trouble at school. But accepting who you are as a person falls into the decision of killing yourself. Brent hated himself. he didn't appreciate what he had. That was why he decided to take his life. Another theme I got from the book was that the body has a innate will to survive. Brent made this fact about himself when he states that he had tried to take his life before as well as when he talks about turning on the shower and not knowing how it happened. Through his recovery he finds this inner strength that allows him to live. Strength will find you in times of weakness and show the world who you really are. Brent may have tried to kill himself but he proved that he is a strong character and will fight.
The style of this novel is very quite and dark. It's first person narrator. The author tried to make it sound as real as he could, like you were right next to him while everything was happening. But more importantly, Runyon takes us into his own mind. He shares his thoughts and hopes and fears with such bright honesty that we understand. What it means to want to kill yourself and how it feels to struggle back toward normality. Intense, exposed, insightful, "The Burn Journals" is a deeply personal story. It is impossible to look away. Impossible to remain unmoved.
The writer has to have an opinion too! The writers opinion on this story is simple and uncluttered. He tried to make this story dark and lonely. He knew if he used a good vocabulary and kept the readers in suspense, then they wouldn't want to put this book down. its hard to take your eyes off because you're so focused on what is going to happen next.
The theme I got from the book when reading it was that accepting who you are is part of growing up. There is always trouble in your adolescence such as liking the same person as your friend. And getting in trouble at school. But accepting who you are as a person falls into the decision of killing yourself. Brent hated himself. he didn't appreciate what he had. That was why he decided to take his life. Another theme I got from the book was that the body has a innate will to survive. Brent made this fact about himself when he states that he had tried to take his life before as well as when he talks about turning on the shower and not knowing how it happened. Through his recovery he finds this inner strength that allows him to live. Strength will find you in times of weakness and show the world who you really are. Brent may have tried to kill himself but he proved that he is a strong character and will fight.
The style of this novel is very quite and dark. It's first person narrator. The author tried to make it sound as real as he could, like you were right next to him while everything was happening. But more importantly, Runyon takes us into his own mind. He shares his thoughts and hopes and fears with such bright honesty that we understand. What it means to want to kill yourself and how it feels to struggle back toward normality. Intense, exposed, insightful, "The Burn Journals" is a deeply personal story. It is impossible to look away. Impossible to remain unmoved.
The writer has to have an opinion too! The writers opinion on this story is simple and uncluttered. He tried to make this story dark and lonely. He knew if he used a good vocabulary and kept the readers in suspense, then they wouldn't want to put this book down. its hard to take your eyes off because you're so focused on what is going to happen next.
February 22, 2015
A good book which shows insight into the mind of a teenage male who is battling depression and anxiety. It was very sad to see how helpless and lonely he felt at the time of his suicide attempt. His journey through recovery was interesting and informative. The author's notes at the end of the book put the magnitude of this disease in perspective. This book will stay with me for awhile as it reminds me that we never really know how someone is doing and even the "jokers" have very dark days.
December 27, 2017
This was raw and filled with truth. I was in tears and I laughed out loud and I related this young man. Please read this book.
March 1, 2009
I'm not a child psychologist so I don't always understand why teens gravitate towards books that are depressing, full of angst, always about incredible situations that most people don't find themselves in. Perhaps they need to read a story that is worse than their own perceived drama. I've worked with teenagers long enough to know that they feel their problems are the biggest and worst of anyone they know. They all worry about being popular and being picked on. They all worry that their best friends -- the one safe person in the world -- doesn't like them anymore. Even the most popular kids worry about not being popular anymore because they know what's down on the pecking order. There have been many books about teens growing up -- both fiction and non-fiction. As long as there are teenagers rewriting the story of growing up, these books will endure.
As adults, most of us are probably really grateful to leave that time in our lives behind. Over and over again my friends say, "You couldn't pay me to be that age again," and I always agree. It would be easy for me to say to the teens I know, "Don't worry about this. In the scheme of life this isn't important," "It will pass," or You'll grow up and become an adult and you'll laugh at this." But the reality is that when teens are in that moment they can't even begin to hear those words. They are living the situation, they BECOME the situation whether they want to or not.
In the book, The Burn Journals, anything anyone had said to Brent Runyon was met on deaf ears. He suffered from depression as an 8th grader, and he saw no point to life. That's why he came home from school one day, doused his housecoat with gasoline and lit himself on fire in his parent's bathroom. He sustained burns on 90% of his body and was in a burn unit for a year, undergoing surgeries to repair his body.
As he was in the hospital he had nothing but time to reflect on why he had chosen that course, what made him do it, and how he was going to survive it. As the title states, this is a book in journal form so we hear Brent's voice, anguish and sorrow. Remarkably, we begin to hear his voice of optimism and hope as he fights for his life.
While this is a book about an 8th grader, I'm torn whether someone only 14-years-old should read this. It's horrific. Yet it's written in a way that is accessible and really sends a message to the reader that your pain becomes your parents, siblings, friends, and teachers' pain when you decide to kill yourself. There is also a very strong message about what if you don't succeed, and are you prepared to do whatever you have to do to heal?
The good news is that Brent Runyon does heal and grow up. He lives in Massachusetts and is a frequent contributor to National Public Radio's This American Life.
This is a very accessible book that will take your emotions and wrap them up into knots. After I finished this book I was completely exhausted. I recommend this book for high school students.
Awards:
Winner - New York Public Library Books for the Teen Age
Nominee 2007 - Abraham Lincoln Illinois High School Book Award
Nominee 2007 - Missouri Gateway Readers Award
Winner 2006 - Pennyslvania Young Readers Choice Master List
Winner 2007 - Rhode Island Teen Book Master List
Winner 2006 - Texas TAYSHAS High School Reading List
As adults, most of us are probably really grateful to leave that time in our lives behind. Over and over again my friends say, "You couldn't pay me to be that age again," and I always agree. It would be easy for me to say to the teens I know, "Don't worry about this. In the scheme of life this isn't important," "It will pass," or You'll grow up and become an adult and you'll laugh at this." But the reality is that when teens are in that moment they can't even begin to hear those words. They are living the situation, they BECOME the situation whether they want to or not.
In the book, The Burn Journals, anything anyone had said to Brent Runyon was met on deaf ears. He suffered from depression as an 8th grader, and he saw no point to life. That's why he came home from school one day, doused his housecoat with gasoline and lit himself on fire in his parent's bathroom. He sustained burns on 90% of his body and was in a burn unit for a year, undergoing surgeries to repair his body.
As he was in the hospital he had nothing but time to reflect on why he had chosen that course, what made him do it, and how he was going to survive it. As the title states, this is a book in journal form so we hear Brent's voice, anguish and sorrow. Remarkably, we begin to hear his voice of optimism and hope as he fights for his life.
While this is a book about an 8th grader, I'm torn whether someone only 14-years-old should read this. It's horrific. Yet it's written in a way that is accessible and really sends a message to the reader that your pain becomes your parents, siblings, friends, and teachers' pain when you decide to kill yourself. There is also a very strong message about what if you don't succeed, and are you prepared to do whatever you have to do to heal?
The good news is that Brent Runyon does heal and grow up. He lives in Massachusetts and is a frequent contributor to National Public Radio's This American Life.
This is a very accessible book that will take your emotions and wrap them up into knots. After I finished this book I was completely exhausted. I recommend this book for high school students.
Awards:
Winner - New York Public Library Books for the Teen Age
Nominee 2007 - Abraham Lincoln Illinois High School Book Award
Nominee 2007 - Missouri Gateway Readers Award
Winner 2006 - Pennyslvania Young Readers Choice Master List
Winner 2007 - Rhode Island Teen Book Master List
Winner 2006 - Texas TAYSHAS High School Reading List
October 16, 2009
This is the true story of Brent Runyon’s suicide attempt and recovery from the same. Brent is in 8th grade when he decides that he’s going to kill himself. This isn’t the first time he’s decided this either, but all of his other suicide attempts have failed. He’s tried slitting his wrists several times, but in each case didn’t make the cuts deep enough. He’s also tried overdosing on Advil, but 20 pills only made him sleepy. If you ask him why he wanted to die, he can’t even really explain it. He was just…depressed, or sad, or saw no other way out. He’d made some bad choices and felt overwhelmed by what the consequences would probably be, and he didn’t want his parents to be mad at him or disappointed. As he saw it, suicide would just eliminate the problems, all of them. But he isn’t a whole lot more successful when he decides to set himself on fire. For one thing, he hasn’t completely committed to the idea…but he’s already soaked his bathrobe in gasoline, and when he lights the match, suddenly there’s no more time to think about whether he’s really ready to die, because suddenly he’s on fire and everything hurts, and his skin is turning black.
Most of this story is about Brent’s recovery process – what it takes to restore someone to health after they’ve intentionally set themselves on fire and burned off 85% of their skin. He’s got grafts to deal with, multiple surgeries, scarring (both mental and physical), and physical therapy to endure. He’s also hospitalized for months. And then there’s the physical disfigurement to consider and lots of time for him to wonder “Why the hell did I do this to myself?” I’m not sure there’s ever a satisfactory answer, because Brent doesn’t totally understand it himself. But it’s through this attempt to end his life that Brent comes to value it. This intriguing and detailed story will attract readers who like to take a walk on the darker side of life.
Most of this story is about Brent’s recovery process – what it takes to restore someone to health after they’ve intentionally set themselves on fire and burned off 85% of their skin. He’s got grafts to deal with, multiple surgeries, scarring (both mental and physical), and physical therapy to endure. He’s also hospitalized for months. And then there’s the physical disfigurement to consider and lots of time for him to wonder “Why the hell did I do this to myself?” I’m not sure there’s ever a satisfactory answer, because Brent doesn’t totally understand it himself. But it’s through this attempt to end his life that Brent comes to value it. This intriguing and detailed story will attract readers who like to take a walk on the darker side of life.
November 7, 2015
This book rocked me to my core.
Seeing another human being,
torn and shredded from the inside out,
living the hell I had imagined myself in.
I would like to give a brief message to anyone who
has/contemplated attempting suicide -
It's not worth it.
You may feel like it'll end your pain,
but the people you leave behind will
live your pain everyday of the rest of
their lives. In our school, we recently
had a student commit suicide.. It was
absolutely devastating to everyone in the
student body.
This book revolves around the
drama of a boy recovering physically and
emotionally from a "fiery" suicide attempt.
On a morning in February,he self immolated.
He survived, but with 85% of his body burned
his state was less than ideal to say the least.
Through the next months, he meets people who
have fought their own battles and through those
discovered what it means to be human.
We are never exempt from suffering in life,
but the way we choose to handle it is more
important than what we suffer from.
A nice romance sub plot evolves before your eyes,
which is actually quite hilarious with his internal
dialog contemplating his member ;)
All in all, I would recommend this book to anyone who
appreciates a raw and real story. If I were to gift this to
anyone, it'd be the "at risk" teen. Like myself, it's
very reassuring to hear from someone who lived through
his Coupe De Grace and managed to grow from it.
Long Live The Ace Of Spades !
Seeing another human being,
torn and shredded from the inside out,
living the hell I had imagined myself in.
I would like to give a brief message to anyone who
has/contemplated attempting suicide -
It's not worth it.
You may feel like it'll end your pain,
but the people you leave behind will
live your pain everyday of the rest of
their lives. In our school, we recently
had a student commit suicide.. It was
absolutely devastating to everyone in the
student body.
This book revolves around the
drama of a boy recovering physically and
emotionally from a "fiery" suicide attempt.
On a morning in February,he self immolated.
He survived, but with 85% of his body burned
his state was less than ideal to say the least.
Through the next months, he meets people who
have fought their own battles and through those
discovered what it means to be human.
We are never exempt from suffering in life,
but the way we choose to handle it is more
important than what we suffer from.
A nice romance sub plot evolves before your eyes,
which is actually quite hilarious with his internal
dialog contemplating his member ;)
All in all, I would recommend this book to anyone who
appreciates a raw and real story. If I were to gift this to
anyone, it'd be the "at risk" teen. Like myself, it's
very reassuring to hear from someone who lived through
his Coupe De Grace and managed to grow from it.
Long Live The Ace Of Spades !
September 18, 2019
I feel like a 4 may be generous for a rating. I enjoyed the story, as morbid as that sounds, but the ending, man, I didn't like it.
February 20, 2023
One of the reasons I am an advocate of mental health and destigmatizing talk around it is that depression, and/or other mental maladies, kills people. And I should note, depression eagerly sought to kill me for quite a long time until I was able to get help. In 2020 alone, 45,979 people died by suicide, and astonishingly, another 1.20 million people made an attempt, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I can talk about those numbers and what they mean, and I could try to convey in an attempt at great literary prose what experiencing depression is like, but what depression looks like is a 14-year-old kid so desperate to escape its clutches that he douses himself in gasoline and drops a match on himself, burning 85 percent of his body. That is obviously an extreme example of a suicide attempt — most people who attempt would not do so in that manner — but I think it demonstrates how mind-altering depression is and can be. The 14-year-old I’m talking about is Brent Runyon, who wrote about his experience in the 2004 book, The Burn Journals.
The “hook” of the book, inescapably, is the extreme way in which Runyon tried to kill himself, but what will make the book one I will never forget is how damn relatable it is as a “coming-of-age” book about a kid trying to figure out his hormones, his life, his broken brain, and how to rebuild the pieces of his life after his attempt. Because of how powerfully this book resonated with me, I know I’m not going to do justice to it with any sort of “great literary prose,” and apologies in advance on the incoming ramblings. Nonetheless, even in 2023, I don’t think we talk enough about how hard it is to be a teen; teen issues are often relegated to “teen behavior” or a “phrase” and otherwise not taken seriously. But they’re facing an onslaught of their hormones rapidly firing, shedding their younger adolescent selves, and the often survival of the fittest lion’s den of peer-to-peer socializing in the school arena. Now, take those combustible elements and mix it with a brain chemistry brew of depression and anxiety, and you have someone like Runyon who even before his fire suicide attempt attempted three prior times. In all prior attempts, his parents had no idea he’d even attempted, much less the extent of his suffering or his sadness, as he calls it. That is the hellacious thing about depression in that it makes you like a bumbling corpse trying to return to its grave and yet, you also become adept at hiding the corpse within and its yearning.
The “journals” run from February 1991 when the attempt happens to nearly a full calendar year through Runyon’s remarkable survival and recovery until he rejoins his peers in high school in early 1992. Much of that recovery time occurs in the Children’s National Medical Center in Washington D.C. and then the Alfred I. duPont Institute in Wilmington, Delaware (now known as Nemours Children’s Health). Runyon’s recounting of those early days, and how much pain he was experiencing, and then later, the terrible skin grafting and stretching and itching, made my skin crawl. It really drove home the point to us the readers what Runyon himself was thinking: I wish I could take back what I did. Not only did his attempt mean an excruciating journey to recovery and a life-altering physical appearance, but it was brutal on his family as well, especially his older brother, Craig, who was home when the attempt happened. The parents, I think, are lovingly portrayed here in terms of all they are doing to be quite literally at Runyon’s bedside and support him and love on him, as well as do cool things like somehow hook him up with meeting all manner of celebrities, but they’re also uncomfortable with what happened and have no idea how to navigate it. They can navigate the Burn Unit, but they can’t navigate Runyon’s mind. And Runyon, for his part, doesn’t know how to navigate his mind, either, with each successive therapist falling by the wayside (and they sucked, by the sounds of it, to be fair). In point-of-fact, it seems like even years later, his parents still refer to what happened to Runyon as “an accident.” As if Runyon was burned up in an accidental house fire instead of intentionally setting himself ablaze. But I get it; there is no guidebook on how to understand why you’re kid would want to die.
And dammit, a book about an awful suicide attempt and a skin-crawling recovery shouldn’t be so funny, but it is genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. I think those of us in this head space by necessity engage with dark humor; you can call it a coping mechanism, and maybe it is, but Runyon, writing from his 14-year-old self’s perspective, is hilarious. Because there is a bit of a “boy-in-the-bubble” perspective given the state of his condition, along with his 14-year-old self’s stupid, meandering thoughts and dialogue that resonated with my 14-year-old self’s stupid, meandering thoughts and dialogue. In other words, every three thoughts Runyon has are about sex (those hormones are rapid firing), and the ones in-between thoughts of sex are: this is awkward and I’m an embarrassing person, and I hope these people like me. Runyon throughout the book is ogling his “hot” nurses, freaking out over his random boners when he’s getting his burned skin lotioned up by the “hot” nurses, and then constantly worrying if he’s funny enough or cool enough, or if people are ogling him because of his condition. Runyon’s accounting of that time is so brutally honest and real and relatable in that coming-of-age way. One of the funniest scenes because it could have been written from my own experiences, sans the scar tissue from the burns, is when Runyon goes to get a hair cut and the hairdresser is insistent on making small talk and he’s just squirming in his chair dying to get out of there. Yes. Yes, please.
But interspersed also, is Runyon expressing regret for his attempt, which tracks with what we know about the vast majority of those who attempt (the vast majority regret it), wanting to express his thanks and gratitude to his parents and nursing staff without knowing how to do it (also relatable), including how to talk with his brother again, and his difficulty in trying to “fit in” with his prior classmates in his journey back to high school. There is a lot of uncomfortable awkwardness permeating Runyon’s book, which again, is in keeping with it being from the perspective of a 14-year-old and relatable to me.
I think what I will most remember about Runyon’s accounting of this time, though, is him trying to ascertain why he did it — he can’t seem to remember anymore and/or if he does, the reasons seem trivial now (depression blinds our mind’s eye to the triviality in the moment, however) — and potently, his reflections on his depression. On page 118 of the paperback edition, Runyon talks about hearing the word “suicide” for the first time as a fourth grader from a classmate, and the thought astonished him: Why would someone to try to kill themselves? And yet. He states, “I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it got inside my head and started squirming around in there like a worm in the dirt, and then it seemed to disappear. But when it came back four years later, it was so big and so powerful, and it seemed like it ate up my whole brain and it was the only thing I could think about.”
That’s one of the most apt descriptions of depression and suicidal ideation I’ve ever read, and again, is relatable in the way depression and suicidal thoughts seem to worm its way into your brain and take over, or how it seems to be latent for X number of years before manifesting. Runyon was very honest in a post-script for the book talking about how he thought writing the book and about his experience would be a panacea for his depression, and instead, his depression came back, like the unkillable worm it seems to be. Thankfully, this time, he asked for help and is doing better.
Depression is like that. Depression convinces you that the way to solve the worm problem is to kill the host: yourself. But what Runyon came to find out was that trying to burn the worm out of his mind not only didn’t work as a viable option, but led to all kinds of other issues he now regrets.
I would recommend this heart-wrenching, but also hilarious, book to anyone who has experienced or is experiencing depression, because you will fill right at home within its pages and within Runyon’s mind because it’s your mind, too.
The “hook” of the book, inescapably, is the extreme way in which Runyon tried to kill himself, but what will make the book one I will never forget is how damn relatable it is as a “coming-of-age” book about a kid trying to figure out his hormones, his life, his broken brain, and how to rebuild the pieces of his life after his attempt. Because of how powerfully this book resonated with me, I know I’m not going to do justice to it with any sort of “great literary prose,” and apologies in advance on the incoming ramblings. Nonetheless, even in 2023, I don’t think we talk enough about how hard it is to be a teen; teen issues are often relegated to “teen behavior” or a “phrase” and otherwise not taken seriously. But they’re facing an onslaught of their hormones rapidly firing, shedding their younger adolescent selves, and the often survival of the fittest lion’s den of peer-to-peer socializing in the school arena. Now, take those combustible elements and mix it with a brain chemistry brew of depression and anxiety, and you have someone like Runyon who even before his fire suicide attempt attempted three prior times. In all prior attempts, his parents had no idea he’d even attempted, much less the extent of his suffering or his sadness, as he calls it. That is the hellacious thing about depression in that it makes you like a bumbling corpse trying to return to its grave and yet, you also become adept at hiding the corpse within and its yearning.
The “journals” run from February 1991 when the attempt happens to nearly a full calendar year through Runyon’s remarkable survival and recovery until he rejoins his peers in high school in early 1992. Much of that recovery time occurs in the Children’s National Medical Center in Washington D.C. and then the Alfred I. duPont Institute in Wilmington, Delaware (now known as Nemours Children’s Health). Runyon’s recounting of those early days, and how much pain he was experiencing, and then later, the terrible skin grafting and stretching and itching, made my skin crawl. It really drove home the point to us the readers what Runyon himself was thinking: I wish I could take back what I did. Not only did his attempt mean an excruciating journey to recovery and a life-altering physical appearance, but it was brutal on his family as well, especially his older brother, Craig, who was home when the attempt happened. The parents, I think, are lovingly portrayed here in terms of all they are doing to be quite literally at Runyon’s bedside and support him and love on him, as well as do cool things like somehow hook him up with meeting all manner of celebrities, but they’re also uncomfortable with what happened and have no idea how to navigate it. They can navigate the Burn Unit, but they can’t navigate Runyon’s mind. And Runyon, for his part, doesn’t know how to navigate his mind, either, with each successive therapist falling by the wayside (and they sucked, by the sounds of it, to be fair). In point-of-fact, it seems like even years later, his parents still refer to what happened to Runyon as “an accident.” As if Runyon was burned up in an accidental house fire instead of intentionally setting himself ablaze. But I get it; there is no guidebook on how to understand why you’re kid would want to die.
And dammit, a book about an awful suicide attempt and a skin-crawling recovery shouldn’t be so funny, but it is genuinely laugh-out-loud funny. I think those of us in this head space by necessity engage with dark humor; you can call it a coping mechanism, and maybe it is, but Runyon, writing from his 14-year-old self’s perspective, is hilarious. Because there is a bit of a “boy-in-the-bubble” perspective given the state of his condition, along with his 14-year-old self’s stupid, meandering thoughts and dialogue that resonated with my 14-year-old self’s stupid, meandering thoughts and dialogue. In other words, every three thoughts Runyon has are about sex (those hormones are rapid firing), and the ones in-between thoughts of sex are: this is awkward and I’m an embarrassing person, and I hope these people like me. Runyon throughout the book is ogling his “hot” nurses, freaking out over his random boners when he’s getting his burned skin lotioned up by the “hot” nurses, and then constantly worrying if he’s funny enough or cool enough, or if people are ogling him because of his condition. Runyon’s accounting of that time is so brutally honest and real and relatable in that coming-of-age way. One of the funniest scenes because it could have been written from my own experiences, sans the scar tissue from the burns, is when Runyon goes to get a hair cut and the hairdresser is insistent on making small talk and he’s just squirming in his chair dying to get out of there. Yes. Yes, please.
But interspersed also, is Runyon expressing regret for his attempt, which tracks with what we know about the vast majority of those who attempt (the vast majority regret it), wanting to express his thanks and gratitude to his parents and nursing staff without knowing how to do it (also relatable), including how to talk with his brother again, and his difficulty in trying to “fit in” with his prior classmates in his journey back to high school. There is a lot of uncomfortable awkwardness permeating Runyon’s book, which again, is in keeping with it being from the perspective of a 14-year-old and relatable to me.
I think what I will most remember about Runyon’s accounting of this time, though, is him trying to ascertain why he did it — he can’t seem to remember anymore and/or if he does, the reasons seem trivial now (depression blinds our mind’s eye to the triviality in the moment, however) — and potently, his reflections on his depression. On page 118 of the paperback edition, Runyon talks about hearing the word “suicide” for the first time as a fourth grader from a classmate, and the thought astonished him: Why would someone to try to kill themselves? And yet. He states, “I couldn’t stop thinking about it and it got inside my head and started squirming around in there like a worm in the dirt, and then it seemed to disappear. But when it came back four years later, it was so big and so powerful, and it seemed like it ate up my whole brain and it was the only thing I could think about.”
That’s one of the most apt descriptions of depression and suicidal ideation I’ve ever read, and again, is relatable in the way depression and suicidal thoughts seem to worm its way into your brain and take over, or how it seems to be latent for X number of years before manifesting. Runyon was very honest in a post-script for the book talking about how he thought writing the book and about his experience would be a panacea for his depression, and instead, his depression came back, like the unkillable worm it seems to be. Thankfully, this time, he asked for help and is doing better.
Depression is like that. Depression convinces you that the way to solve the worm problem is to kill the host: yourself. But what Runyon came to find out was that trying to burn the worm out of his mind not only didn’t work as a viable option, but led to all kinds of other issues he now regrets.
I would recommend this heart-wrenching, but also hilarious, book to anyone who has experienced or is experiencing depression, because you will fill right at home within its pages and within Runyon’s mind because it’s your mind, too.
June 12, 2018
This book was so messed up.
I mean, the story itself was just crazy. Brent Runyon was 14 years old when he doused himself in gasoline and lit himself on fire. I have no idea why anyone would choose such a hideous death, but Runyon had apparently attempted suicide before and was unsuccessful. He thought lighting himself on fire would do the job.
Did I mention this is nonfiction? The story was written by an adult Runyon, who survived the attempted suicide-by-fire as well. But it was written from the perspective of Runyon’s teenage self, relaying his experience recovering from the ordeal.
The most messed up part of the book wasn’t the suicide attempt, although that was a pretty strong indicator of how psychologically messed up Runyon must have been. So many things about his attitude just struck fear and disgust in me. I’ve never been a teenage boy, though I’ve been told they spend a good chunk of their time thinking about girls and sex. But the way this kid objectified women was almost chilling to me. Runyon also treated his parents like dirt and doesn’t have even the slightest sense of empathy for how his actions might affect other people. He occasionally thinks thoughts to himself that suggest he cares about the misery of others, but his actions do little to support this idea.
I definitely expected Runyon to be pretty damaged to do what he did. But I also hoped for some kind of cathartic moment in his recovery. I hoped to see him accept responsibility, or reflect honestly on what led him to want to kill himself so grotesquely. But there was none of that. His therapy sessions were maddening to read, because none of the half-dozen or so therapists that he sees throughout his recovery seems even remotely qualified to elicit any meaningful self-reflection from Runyon, let alone interested in understanding his psychology. The sessions consisted of Runyon shutting down and the therapists watching the clock count down.
The book also wasn’t well written and just left me wondering why. Why did he do it? But more importantly, since that question never really gets answered, why the hell was this book published in the first place? What was I meant to get from it?
I mean, the story itself was just crazy. Brent Runyon was 14 years old when he doused himself in gasoline and lit himself on fire. I have no idea why anyone would choose such a hideous death, but Runyon had apparently attempted suicide before and was unsuccessful. He thought lighting himself on fire would do the job.
Did I mention this is nonfiction? The story was written by an adult Runyon, who survived the attempted suicide-by-fire as well. But it was written from the perspective of Runyon’s teenage self, relaying his experience recovering from the ordeal.
The most messed up part of the book wasn’t the suicide attempt, although that was a pretty strong indicator of how psychologically messed up Runyon must have been. So many things about his attitude just struck fear and disgust in me. I’ve never been a teenage boy, though I’ve been told they spend a good chunk of their time thinking about girls and sex. But the way this kid objectified women was almost chilling to me. Runyon also treated his parents like dirt and doesn’t have even the slightest sense of empathy for how his actions might affect other people. He occasionally thinks thoughts to himself that suggest he cares about the misery of others, but his actions do little to support this idea.
I definitely expected Runyon to be pretty damaged to do what he did. But I also hoped for some kind of cathartic moment in his recovery. I hoped to see him accept responsibility, or reflect honestly on what led him to want to kill himself so grotesquely. But there was none of that. His therapy sessions were maddening to read, because none of the half-dozen or so therapists that he sees throughout his recovery seems even remotely qualified to elicit any meaningful self-reflection from Runyon, let alone interested in understanding his psychology. The sessions consisted of Runyon shutting down and the therapists watching the clock count down.
The book also wasn’t well written and just left me wondering why. Why did he do it? But more importantly, since that question never really gets answered, why the hell was this book published in the first place? What was I meant to get from it?
March 20, 2015
The fact it is a true story makes this book awfully hard to swallow. In 1991, and while 14, Brent Runyon decides to soak his robe in gasoline and set himself on fire. Brent obviously survives, but the consequences and the difficulty to survive is real, and the one is written, in diary style, in this book Runyon published.
We follow Brent's journey while recuperating from his suicide attempt, along with his thoughts about his friends , past life and his family. I'll start off with the negative aspects, and it is clear that some people really complain about the writing style but what else are you really expecting a 14 year old to write? It is also very dull, and undoubtedly not captivating during the whole read but I also don't believe that was the book's intent. It bugged me Brent didn't mention his friends before the fire a lot. Didn't he miss them? Didn't he feel lonely? I wish these emotions had been better explored.
I watched a video on Youtube about this book with pictures from the author and it literally did break my heart. How many times do we read fiction and don't bat an eye only because we know deep inside our characters don't have bodies and aren't suffering the pain we believe they were? In memoires that's not how it works, and after finishing the book I was left heartless and truly feeling for Brent. It is tragic to believe we live somewhere where mental issues and not feeling well in general by teenagers is glossed over by ''just a phase'' and ''teens get over it'' eventually. So very sad Brent had to go through this.
I really enjoyed learning about Brent's life, but as I mentioned before, I wish feelings had been explored in greater depth.
We follow Brent's journey while recuperating from his suicide attempt, along with his thoughts about his friends , past life and his family. I'll start off with the negative aspects, and it is clear that some people really complain about the writing style but what else are you really expecting a 14 year old to write? It is also very dull, and undoubtedly not captivating during the whole read but I also don't believe that was the book's intent. It bugged me Brent didn't mention his friends before the fire a lot. Didn't he miss them? Didn't he feel lonely? I wish these emotions had been better explored.
I watched a video on Youtube about this book with pictures from the author and it literally did break my heart. How many times do we read fiction and don't bat an eye only because we know deep inside our characters don't have bodies and aren't suffering the pain we believe they were? In memoires that's not how it works, and after finishing the book I was left heartless and truly feeling for Brent. It is tragic to believe we live somewhere where mental issues and not feeling well in general by teenagers is glossed over by ''just a phase'' and ''teens get over it'' eventually. So very sad Brent had to go through this.
I really enjoyed learning about Brent's life, but as I mentioned before, I wish feelings had been explored in greater depth.
December 21, 2008
My teacher recommended this book for me, and I really am glad he did. I have never read a "present tense", or whatever it may be called, before. That is why I really liked it. It added a lot to the book. Brent Runyon did a fantastic job of showing me how he feels and what he was thinking. I cried during this book. It is so touching and just amazing. Everything he wrote painted an image in my head, which added to why I love it so much.
The book is about Brent who is what I would say "a suicidal teen." He is so scared of the outcome of a mistake that he did so he decided to burn himself. He was burned to a third degree. At the time Brent was 14 and right at the pinnacle of his teenage life. After he burned himself he had to go to the hospital and there he stayed being worked on almost everyday. Surgeries,burn care and much more. It was very hard on him and this is the story of his survival.
I highly suggest reading this book, really. If you haven't read it yet it is a great idea. Brent Runyon has written a very captivating story, which made me love it. If you like a book like "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", I am pretty sure you'll at least like this book.
The book is about Brent who is what I would say "a suicidal teen." He is so scared of the outcome of a mistake that he did so he decided to burn himself. He was burned to a third degree. At the time Brent was 14 and right at the pinnacle of his teenage life. After he burned himself he had to go to the hospital and there he stayed being worked on almost everyday. Surgeries,burn care and much more. It was very hard on him and this is the story of his survival.
I highly suggest reading this book, really. If you haven't read it yet it is a great idea. Brent Runyon has written a very captivating story, which made me love it. If you like a book like "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", I am pretty sure you'll at least like this book.
May 10, 2009
I really liked this book. For me, being a girl, it was interesting to read about what goes on in a teenage boy's mind. Brent was funny and sincere and I was really hoping for the best for him throughout the book. Maybe it's because I can remember being hopelessly depressed in high school (but never actually taking the steps he did) and coming out of it, a little more cynical, but alive. I wish I read this when I was in high school and depressed but funny enough, this occurred right around that time. It's sort of reassuring to know that I was not the only one to have felt that alone and sad. Depression sucks and while we talk about it more and can 'treat' it with drugs, it's still around and if you've never experienced it, it might be easy to say, 'snap out of it' but that's the problem, it's not that easy to snap out of.
January 29, 2013
*THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS*
Ididn't care for this book much. It doesn't seem like Brent made any progress psychology, he resisted every form of psychiatric treatment and it seems to me wasted a lot of doctors time. I don't think he learned any kind of lesson and really just succeeded in putting his family through hell. I cannot believe famous people wanted to meet him and give him gifts because he set himself on fire, they acted as if he saved his entire family and Rusty from a house fire. I felt terrible for Craig he's graduating high school and going off to college and his parent aren't even there for him because they are totally focused on Brent. I think this guy is selfish and I don't think anyone is learning anything from this story. Besides the fact it was terribly written.
Ididn't care for this book much. It doesn't seem like Brent made any progress psychology, he resisted every form of psychiatric treatment and it seems to me wasted a lot of doctors time. I don't think he learned any kind of lesson and really just succeeded in putting his family through hell. I cannot believe famous people wanted to meet him and give him gifts because he set himself on fire, they acted as if he saved his entire family and Rusty from a house fire. I felt terrible for Craig he's graduating high school and going off to college and his parent aren't even there for him because they are totally focused on Brent. I think this guy is selfish and I don't think anyone is learning anything from this story. Besides the fact it was terribly written.
October 26, 2014
So hard to review.....
This is a true story so I tried so very hard to feel for brent. Brent set himself on fire at 14 and suffered 85% burns. I dont know what I was hoping to get from this, but anger wasnt it.
Brent set himself on fire at 14 as a suicide attempt (his 3rd attempt). I was expecting emotional torment followed by something like inspirational ending. What I got was a boy who had no idea why he set himself on fire but feels as though he was owed something for it.
He showed NO regret nor much compassion for how much it effected his family.
Throughout the book he tries to win the reader over to his way of thinking such as... I set myself on fire... why do I need to see psychologists? I wonder...
I wanted something from this book... not sure what but anger WAS not it ...
This is a true story so I tried so very hard to feel for brent. Brent set himself on fire at 14 and suffered 85% burns. I dont know what I was hoping to get from this, but anger wasnt it.
Brent set himself on fire at 14 as a suicide attempt (his 3rd attempt). I was expecting emotional torment followed by something like inspirational ending. What I got was a boy who had no idea why he set himself on fire but feels as though he was owed something for it.
He showed NO regret nor much compassion for how much it effected his family.
Throughout the book he tries to win the reader over to his way of thinking such as... I set myself on fire... why do I need to see psychologists? I wonder...
I wanted something from this book... not sure what but anger WAS not it ...
March 9, 2015
I finished the book!!!! It tells Brent's experience after his "accident" and I find it very fascinating to know what he went through and how strong of a person he became. At the end I wish it would have told a little bit more about his first day back at school but I was glad it ended in a good note and also with an event that was the goal throughout the book. After reading this book I realized a lot about the world and how sometimes people that seem happy, may not be. While reading I wondered why nobody took him seriously when he said the things he was going to do to himself and why nobody seemed to care until he actually did something. I think that this book really proved that people don't always care until something bad happens to you.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 7, 2016
What a story
I don't know what to say really. This is the story of a 7th grader ( I think, I know it was middle school) who sets himself on fire. As always the question is why? ..did he really get better? I felt cheated at the end of the story. I think that this book has promise, and I could relate to a lot of the feelings and emotions.
I don't know what to say really. This is the story of a 7th grader ( I think, I know it was middle school) who sets himself on fire. As always the question is why? ..did he really get better? I felt cheated at the end of the story. I think that this book has promise, and I could relate to a lot of the feelings and emotions.
Read
May 17, 2024I read The Burn Journals by Brent Runyon. Through my interpretation, The Burn Journals written by Brent Runyon was to inform young adults and teenagers who are struggling with mental health illnesses and thoughts of suicide through asking for help and Runyon’s life lessons to recovery. There are 3 main parts of the book; the attempt, the hospital, and the recovery, where he learns it’s okay to ask for help and now fully understands the amount of help his parents did for him. As told through the memoir of Brent’s suicide recovery, Brent was only 14 years old when he tried to commit suicide by setting himself on fire. This book describes his challenges to recover, from living in hospitals to living at home again and starting anew. Brent speaks on going back to school, his life in different hospitals, the individuals who got him through his recovery, and at the end just asking for help.
I would state that Runyon’s book was successful in portraying the purpose of his book. I would say this book is very interesting and a good book. I loved how Brent was able to express his thankfulness for the help he got on his way to recovery and how he was able to go to school again. I loved how although he had a lot of struggles after his attempt physically, mentally, and emotionally, he was able to overcome a majority of his symptoms and get through his recovery, and when he thinks of suicide again, he is confident in himself to ask for help.
The author chose to include his different attempts he tried to show his story. He did this to show how bad his situation was and the start of before he evolved to eventually ask for help. The author also chose to include the challenges he went through. For example, Brent talked about laying on his back after surgery and how he couldn’t move his toes as well after, learning how to walk again, eating solid foods again, and returning back to school with the help of therapy and a tutor. The author chose to include these choices to help his audience understand that although there are many challenges, you can get help and get through them. While reading the book, although I could not relate to his experience, I was able to envision how bad his situation is through his emotions he expressed and how easy the book was to read. I was able to understand the different chapters and how he became one step closer to being fully recovered. I understood what the 3 sections were explaining and how that helped him reach his purpose.
One specific part that was my favorite in The Burn Journals was at the end of the book. Brent emphasizes how nervous and scared he is to be heading back to school when he says, “Because when you think about it, I mean I haven’t really been to school in, well, almost a year. And it’s high school, and I don’t know if I’m okay” (Runyon, 318). Brent empathizes with the emotions he went through before heading to school. What I love most about the end of the book is when he adds on and says, “The bus is stopped. I’ve got to get off the bus. I’m getting off. I’m walking up the steps. I’m opening the door. I’m standing in the doorway. Okay. I’m here” (Runyon, 319). This shows the way Brent developed and changed his mindset and knows that with everything he went through; he is okay and ready for the next chapter of his life.
I would recommend reading this book because although you may not experience anything like it, you are put in a different mindset of how individuals think and you can learn life lessons throughout the book. I have learned that even if you don’t go through something big, you can always ask for help and that there will always be somebody by your side to be that help for you. I would also recommend this because you can see someone's point of view on suicide and how someone can overcome challenges and start their new journey.
I would state that Runyon’s book was successful in portraying the purpose of his book. I would say this book is very interesting and a good book. I loved how Brent was able to express his thankfulness for the help he got on his way to recovery and how he was able to go to school again. I loved how although he had a lot of struggles after his attempt physically, mentally, and emotionally, he was able to overcome a majority of his symptoms and get through his recovery, and when he thinks of suicide again, he is confident in himself to ask for help.
The author chose to include his different attempts he tried to show his story. He did this to show how bad his situation was and the start of before he evolved to eventually ask for help. The author also chose to include the challenges he went through. For example, Brent talked about laying on his back after surgery and how he couldn’t move his toes as well after, learning how to walk again, eating solid foods again, and returning back to school with the help of therapy and a tutor. The author chose to include these choices to help his audience understand that although there are many challenges, you can get help and get through them. While reading the book, although I could not relate to his experience, I was able to envision how bad his situation is through his emotions he expressed and how easy the book was to read. I was able to understand the different chapters and how he became one step closer to being fully recovered. I understood what the 3 sections were explaining and how that helped him reach his purpose.
One specific part that was my favorite in The Burn Journals was at the end of the book. Brent emphasizes how nervous and scared he is to be heading back to school when he says, “Because when you think about it, I mean I haven’t really been to school in, well, almost a year. And it’s high school, and I don’t know if I’m okay” (Runyon, 318). Brent empathizes with the emotions he went through before heading to school. What I love most about the end of the book is when he adds on and says, “The bus is stopped. I’ve got to get off the bus. I’m getting off. I’m walking up the steps. I’m opening the door. I’m standing in the doorway. Okay. I’m here” (Runyon, 319). This shows the way Brent developed and changed his mindset and knows that with everything he went through; he is okay and ready for the next chapter of his life.
I would recommend reading this book because although you may not experience anything like it, you are put in a different mindset of how individuals think and you can learn life lessons throughout the book. I have learned that even if you don’t go through something big, you can always ask for help and that there will always be somebody by your side to be that help for you. I would also recommend this because you can see someone's point of view on suicide and how someone can overcome challenges and start their new journey.
February 9, 2020
The Burn Journals by Brent Runyon is a memoir of a year in the author's life, as a teenager, after attempting suicide by setting himself on fire. It begins just before the attempt, and continues on throughout the year during his recovery: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
This novel is overwhelming in its content. It is raw, and real, and you find yourself wanting to set it aside because of its subject matter, while simultaneously needing to continue.
The story is compelling, while the main character, also the author, is fascinatingly, and excruciatingly honest. It made me think back to times in my life where I was in a similar place: you're so unbearably sad and you don't understand why, and you can't explain it to yourself, let alone anyone else, but people keep asking. Asking constantly, asking the wrong questions all the time. It's frustrating, and emotional, but also incredibly cathartic to hear your own thoughts echoed back to you in a novel written by another individual.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the novel. Although it was, at times, hard to swallow the prose, and the content, it was an important, and crucial read for me. Feeling as though others understand you, and have stories to contribute to yours is a beautiful, unifying thing.
If you are a human, who has experienced depression, or mental illness in general, read this. Read it now.
This novel is overwhelming in its content. It is raw, and real, and you find yourself wanting to set it aside because of its subject matter, while simultaneously needing to continue.
The story is compelling, while the main character, also the author, is fascinatingly, and excruciatingly honest. It made me think back to times in my life where I was in a similar place: you're so unbearably sad and you don't understand why, and you can't explain it to yourself, let alone anyone else, but people keep asking. Asking constantly, asking the wrong questions all the time. It's frustrating, and emotional, but also incredibly cathartic to hear your own thoughts echoed back to you in a novel written by another individual.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the novel. Although it was, at times, hard to swallow the prose, and the content, it was an important, and crucial read for me. Feeling as though others understand you, and have stories to contribute to yours is a beautiful, unifying thing.
If you are a human, who has experienced depression, or mental illness in general, read this. Read it now.
July 7, 2017
I appreciate Brent Runyon's honesty in this piece that takes us through his journey of depression and his horrific suicide attempt. There are not enough books out there that deal with teenage depression. And usually not male teenagers either. Brent's resilience and his family's is incredible.
The reason why I gave this a 3 was only because of the writing style which uses a lot of dialogue and at times gets a little mundane retelling some of the day-by-day events. But I guess that's why he titles it the Journals.
I definitely appreciate his humor and how he brings us into the mind of a 14-year-old boy just trying to be normal and not understanding why he was so sad. As he takes you through his journey he tries to puzzle together the reason why he did what he did but realizes there is no why. This is an important realization for him and the reader because depression is not want anyone chooses to go through.
This is an important book that gives us deeper insight into teenage depression.
The reason why I gave this a 3 was only because of the writing style which uses a lot of dialogue and at times gets a little mundane retelling some of the day-by-day events. But I guess that's why he titles it the Journals.
I definitely appreciate his humor and how he brings us into the mind of a 14-year-old boy just trying to be normal and not understanding why he was so sad. As he takes you through his journey he tries to puzzle together the reason why he did what he did but realizes there is no why. This is an important realization for him and the reader because depression is not want anyone chooses to go through.
This is an important book that gives us deeper insight into teenage depression.
April 20, 2017
Hey presto! A novel that actually made me feel something for a situation described through text for the first time in months!
Often my choices in subject matter tend to be a bit morbid and depressing and long-ago the shock-value of anything even highly grotesque or gruesome or heart-wrenching seemed to have worn off on me. But 'The Burn Journals' finally broke that streak.
When Runyon describes the way in which I felt a knot develop in my stomach and as I imagined the way he must've felt to have chosen such a horrific way to I actually I caught myself feeling genuinely disturbed.
I attribute this great impact to the fact that this is a true story. Brent Runyon attempted by fire. Brent Runyon wrote this novel. Not only is it one of the most genuine things I've ever read, I also enjoyed it because it seemed as if Runyon wasn't trying to make this novel something it wasn't. It is his interpretation of his life at the time of his and thus comes across as raw and purely honest.
Even though this novel is classified as a YA read, it's not a book I'll be giving to my thirteen year old cousin in a hurry. Give it a read if you've ever battled with crippling sadness, understand thoughts of suicide or if you just generally want to climb into the mind of a clinically depressed thirteen year old.
Often my choices in subject matter tend to be a bit morbid and depressing and long-ago the shock-value of anything even highly grotesque or gruesome or heart-wrenching seemed to have worn off on me. But 'The Burn Journals' finally broke that streak.
When Runyon describes the way in which I felt a knot develop in my stomach and as I imagined the way he must've felt to have chosen such a horrific way to I actually I caught myself feeling genuinely disturbed.
I attribute this great impact to the fact that this is a true story. Brent Runyon attempted by fire. Brent Runyon wrote this novel. Not only is it one of the most genuine things I've ever read, I also enjoyed it because it seemed as if Runyon wasn't trying to make this novel something it wasn't. It is his interpretation of his life at the time of his and thus comes across as raw and purely honest.
Even though this novel is classified as a YA read, it's not a book I'll be giving to my thirteen year old cousin in a hurry. Give it a read if you've ever battled with crippling sadness, understand thoughts of suicide or if you just generally want to climb into the mind of a clinically depressed thirteen year old.
February 3, 2023
I'm in an English 4 class, and when I was told to get a memoir book, I made my way to the school library and talked to one of the librarians. And she introduced me to about like three of them, and I automatically liked the book The Burn Journals because I can’t imagine burning myself, and that’s what made it so interesting. Brent Runyon tells the story of how he attempted his life and survived his suicide attempt. And there were parts of his writing that really showed off his hurting, lonely ness, and suicide attempts what made it feel like everything he wrote painted a imagine in my head where I can feel his pain. But overall, this book is exhausting but I love it. It is a very accessible book that will take your emotions and wrap them up into knots.
So far this book is very interesting and fantastic. Brent Runyon book is a memoir that follows the author's own recovery after attempting to light himself on fire, for example when he started the fire in gym class Laura asked him what he was going to do after the situation and he responded “i’m going to set myself on fire.”(page 19), He’s making it clear that all the bad things he did and all the pain he caused everybody he was going to be suffering a lot of consequences anyways. He also use variety of tones throughout the book, going between Suffering and Conscience to reflect the different emotions he experienced during his suicidal journey. For example, on page 30, he writes about his incident and what happens throughout the process of it, “Stop tearing. They are tearing at me. Tearing away my skin. Please stop. Please.” And on another page he regrets ever trying to hurt himself, “I could die. Maybe I should tell them to unplug me. But I don’t want to die anymore.” The reader can paint an image in their head and can feel his pain.
Overall this is a really good book to help teenagers who are struggling with depression to better understand themselves and it could teach them valuable lessons that could help them get through their depression. I would give this book five stars. It is well written in a way that is just as real and raw as depression itself, and it could help its readers overcome their own depression. For these reasons, it would be beneficial for a person of any age to read Brunt Runyon's memoir, The Burn Journals.
So far this book is very interesting and fantastic. Brent Runyon book is a memoir that follows the author's own recovery after attempting to light himself on fire, for example when he started the fire in gym class Laura asked him what he was going to do after the situation and he responded “i’m going to set myself on fire.”(page 19), He’s making it clear that all the bad things he did and all the pain he caused everybody he was going to be suffering a lot of consequences anyways. He also use variety of tones throughout the book, going between Suffering and Conscience to reflect the different emotions he experienced during his suicidal journey. For example, on page 30, he writes about his incident and what happens throughout the process of it, “Stop tearing. They are tearing at me. Tearing away my skin. Please stop. Please.” And on another page he regrets ever trying to hurt himself, “I could die. Maybe I should tell them to unplug me. But I don’t want to die anymore.” The reader can paint an image in their head and can feel his pain.
Overall this is a really good book to help teenagers who are struggling with depression to better understand themselves and it could teach them valuable lessons that could help them get through their depression. I would give this book five stars. It is well written in a way that is just as real and raw as depression itself, and it could help its readers overcome their own depression. For these reasons, it would be beneficial for a person of any age to read Brunt Runyon's memoir, The Burn Journals.
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