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304 pages, Hardcover
First published July 25, 2023
" We had just decided to start trying to get pregnant. Adam had been working on convincing me for years, but given my own experience of being parented, I hadn’t been too keen. My mother’s descent into madness and eventual disappearance, my father’s depressed, distracted non-presence, more a placeholder in a cardigan than an actual caregiver—this was not a legacy to build on. Agreeing to get married had been hard enough for me, given my passionate attachment to self-sufficiency." - @ 11%
"My passionate love and equally passionate hatred for the umbilical radius* that tied me at all times to my child and therefore to my terror. A love that held me hostage to this paradox: Keep him alive, keep him well, but also know that you can’t, that you have no control, not really." - @ 60%*In her Acknowledgements, Yael Goldstein-Love explains that she obtained the term "umbilical radius" from TORN IN TWO: THE EXPERIENCE OF by Rozsika Parker.
"His father leaving for another woman, his mother fixated on keeping up appearances. [...] He would have been such a natural asset to this venture, with his sparkly charm, good grades, good looks. I had no idea if any of this was true, but it was what I’d always imagined when Adam said his childhood was perfect. It was my only way to make sense of how someone so smart could believe something so stupid. It made sense if believing this was part of what he felt he owed his mother." - @ 68%
"I felt time like a hand around my throat." - @ 73%
"I was going to the spot where wanted me to go, obeying the woman whose absence was a void that had been howling through me so loudly and so long that I had come to think of it as simply the sound of me." - @ 84%