Even if our love was a poison slowly consuming us, that didn't make it any less potent. Even if fear was the heart of our love, it didn't make our feeEven if our love was a poison slowly consuming us, that didn't make it any less potent. Even if fear was the heart of our love, it didn't make our feelings for each other any less real. And even when Seth sought to hurt me, it didn't necessarily mean he didn't also love me. When a parent disciplines a child, isn't that also a form of love?
Often I wonder when first love became such a rosy and worshipped concept. I wonder if it is a reflection of our self-preservation, as humans, to idolize first love and to forget that there are always two sides to a coin, to ignore that while first love can be exhilarating and exciting, it can also feel terrifying and out of control. For if one has never experienced something before how do they know their limits, when to establish boundaries, to identify warning signs? How do they know to find strength to standup for themselves against the person they love most in the world? For as first love is praised for being magnificent, it is also known to be all-consuming, is it not?
Hiroku is a reflection of 17-year-old Hiroku and his journey through all his "firsts": first crush, first swoon, first heart pounding toe curling butterflies, first date, first kiss, first time skipping school, first drugs, first obsession, first addiction, first abuse, first descent into darkness, first Before and first After. A story of his first love(s).
Lascarso's writing is beautiful with a wistful, melancholy feel that tugs at one's heartstrings. Experiencing Hiroku and Seth's relationship was like watching a rose wilt or a pot boil, it's a steady and quiet escalation until one day, one second, you blink and the petals have fallen off, the pot has overflowed. Watching the beginning, the meet cute and the butterflies, all the highs of a first love and then watching it all fall apart was heart-breaking. Experiencing Hiroku's innocence and love be corrupted and twisted by Seth, the small manipulations turning to bigger moments of emotional and physical abuse, was harrowing. To watch his love shift from his love of art, his friends and family, Seth, to his love of opioids and getting high was devastating. I loved the way in which Hiroku reflected on his passed self, on things he could control and things he could not, and I loved even more how while Then Hiroku fell prey to Seth and drugs, Now Hiroku was finding ways in which to set himself free.
"I chose him over me too" ... "but I won't anymore."
When I started this I knew that everyone h a t e d Seth, and for quite a long while I couldn't understand why. While I hated the things he was introducing to Hiroku, I didn't hate him because while Seth could be vicious, manipulative, and selfish, he was also a child of abuse and neglect, someone who self-medicated in hopes to find relief from mental illness and a deep loneliness.
I didn't think he was acting because I saw a glimpse of the boy I first fell in love with, the one who just wanted to be loved unconditionally.
But then there was a turning point from which Seth could not return, and I loved the way in which Lascarso explored his character development, because I can tell you that though I felt for him for the longest time, I hated him by the end. And when I say I hate him, I really do, and I don't condone ANYTHING he did, and yet I still think of nature vs. nurture, of mental illness, of self-medicating and self-destruction, of a tiny boy left all alone, and what Seth would have been like if he had just one adult looking out for him.
Hiroku is more of a coming of age story than a romance, and a dive into a darker side of first love. It's story of butterflies and bliss, of unforeseen darkness and heartbreak. It's a story of deception, and change, of addiction. It's a story of baby steps in the right direction, of fighting for yourself and the person you want to be. It's an story of Hiroku and all his firsts.
4.5 STARS --------------------- Actual footage of the rollercoaster ride I went on with this book: [image] [image] [image] [image]...more
This is my offering. These are the lessons I learned, the tiny acts of rebellion that kept me alive, and the love that fed my hope, when I had nothingThis is my offering. These are the lessons I learned, the tiny acts of rebellion that kept me alive, and the love that fed my hope, when I had nothing but hope itself.
I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING! Five stars is not enough for this M A S T E R P I E C E. Remember that status where I talked about having a mental breakdown because I couldn’t convey my love and thoughts into a review? It was this book. It’s been over a week and I’m finally going to try. Warning: this will probably be long, with lots of gushing, manic ranting and key board smashing.
I want to throw this book at people while screaming at them to read it. Seriously, bury me with this book. BURY. ME. WITH. IT! This might be my favorite romance, I think it is, I’m racking my brain and I can’t think of anything that tops this. Actually, you know what, it’s top five of my favorite books of all time. I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH!! *cracks knuckles, clears throat*
Through the eyes of Eva and Angelo, Amy Harmon spins a breathtakingly beautiful and tragic story of history and fear, loss and love, friendship and family, resilience and hope. A story of something beautiful and fragile nurtured in the most vicious and evil of times. Harmon ripped my heart out, shattered it into a million pieces and then placed it back in my chest, reformed but not the same. I will never forget Eva and Angelo’s story, I’ll never forget their love.
Harmon uses the everyday experiences and lives of Eva, Angelo and their families to show how the rights and humanity of the Jewish population were stripped away, at first slowly and with the little things, until there was nothing left. I was so in love with Eva and Angelo’s families, so wrapped up in them, that I felt all their pain, their frustration, their worries and betrayal. My heart was so heavy, but their hope, their choice to see the good in people and love for one another made me laugh and smile, and appreciate the resilience of the human spirit. *sobs* I just loved them all so much.
“They can take our homes, our possessions. Our families. Our lives. They can drive us out, like they've driven us out before. They can humiliate us and dehumanize us. But they cannot take our thoughts. They cannot take our talents. They cannot take our knowledge, or our memories, or our minds. In music there is no bondage. Music is a door, and the soul escapes through the melody.”
I was captivated by the plot from start to finish, on the edge of my seat the entire time. My heart was in my throat and I was so enthralled that I actually spent two days just lying in my bed after work listening because I couldn't stand to not know what happened. I had absolutely no idea if I was going to be crying tears of joy or heartbreak at the end. Going into this I didn’t know very much about what happened in Italy during WWII, or about Mussolini’s regime, since in the US we really only focus on what happened in France and eastern Europe. I was fascinated by the politics that went on between Mussolini’s regime and the Germans, especially after Italy surrendered. The writing was so vivid and exquisite that I could clearly picture every character, every whispered conversation, every glance filled with longing, the brutality and blood, every catastrophic event. I could see all the love and tragedy, the little bits of kindness, painted on the streets of an Italy at war.
Eva and Angelo, my shining stars, how I love them so. Eva was beautiful in all her righteous anger. She was fiery, strong-willed, compassion, intelligent, and so so fucking brave. She didn’t want to go into hiding with the hopes that she could wait out the war. She wanted to fight for her people and help those who were not fortunate enough to escape the war. She didn't care about risking her life as long as she saved the life of someone else. Then there was Angelo, my sweet baby Angelo. He wasn't your typical romance hero, which I absolutely adored. He walked with a limp and a cane because of his disabled leg, and was soft spoken and such a sweet, gentle soul who was driven by his love of his family and Eva and his need to do the right thing. He was so resourceful and cunning and did I mention that I FUCKING LOVE HIM?! WELL, I DO!
Eva and Angelo’s romance is the definition of an epic romance. It's a classic kind of romance. The kind that makes me think of old black and white movies and Audrey Hepburn. Their romance tugged at my heartstrings and throughout the whole book I could feel how much they loved each other. They’ve known each other since childhood, they’ve grown up and into love together and they cannot imagine a life without the other in it. I've never read two characters so full of passion and yearning and their heartache dripped off the pages and into my heart. They both understood why they couldn't be together but that didn't stop them from pushing, from fighting for their happily ever after.
"With our hands, we reach for things we shouldn't have and grasp what isn't ours. The way I have always reached for you."
"Angelo, there are only two thing I know for sure. The first? I love you. I’ve always loved you. I love you now. I will love you in fifty years. Second: No one knows the nature of God. Not you, not me, not Monsignor Luciano, not my father, not Rabbi Cassuto. Not even Pope Pius XII. No one.”
A U D I O B O O K
THIS. AUDIOBOOK. WAS. SPECTACULAR. Seriously, the best audiobook I’ve ever listened to. If you’re contemplating getting the audiobook - DO IT. If you’ve already read this book, STILL GET IT. GET IT, GET IT, GET ITTTT! Cassandra Campbell’s voice was smooth and lovely, but where she really shined was in the accents and the emotion she put into her reading. Her accents were off the chart and each character had a distinct voice, a distinct accent, a distinct way that they spoke. Campbell’s voice is so emotional throughout the book that the character’s and their situations: their love, their loss, their fear, their hopes come to life. Her passionate reading brought tears to my eyes more than once. I'm seriously blown away.
This story is a brilliantly written, harrowing romance, action packed and fast paced, but it also has deep philosophical and religious tones. Harmon touches on what truly gives humans immortality, how traditions and religious beliefs shape our outlook on life and our values, how we humans try to interpret God, when really there is no way to know the nature of the universe. I loved seeing Judaism and Catholicism through the perspectives of Eva and Angelo, while they taught each other their beliefs and traditions they also taught me. It’s just all so fucking beautiful and heartbreaking.
"When this war is over, I will be yours, first, last and always. And you will be mine."
Wow, this was so much better and so much more than I thought it was going to be. I’m so sad it’s over. I might cry. I seriously can’t believe this hasWow, this was so much better and so much more than I thought it was going to be. I’m so sad it’s over. I might cry. I seriously can’t believe this has so few reviews, it’s officially my new favorite M/M. Ever. Honestly, it's one of my top romances. Theo and Caleb stole my heart and I can't stop thinking about them.
I thought I was getting into another okay (maybe decently) written, steamy M/M rock star romance with characters who were fun but didn’t stand out when it came to leading men. I was soo wrong and I’m soo gooey and happy about it. The writing was really well done. It flowed smoothly between POVs and had just enough prose to make it a little lyrical, but not over the top. Theo and Caleb were artists and the writing style fit that and amplified it.
The hand I was holding had strummed that beautiful song out of his guitar, and I wanted to squeeze it so tight that some of that magic leached into me. I want to pull its beauty inside me.
I knew my triggers, the way the road seeped into my veins as surely as the needle, opening me up, making patterns I couldn’t claw my way clear of.
I loved what a huge part music played in this plot. Theo and Caleb were constantly playing it, writing it, talking about it, loving it, living it. THIS is how books with artists as the main characters should be written. The reader should be able to read and feel how much the character's art is a part of their life, their world, their development.
And then there were the characters themselves. Dear. Lord.
Well fuck me if Theo, with his tangled black hair, kohl rimmed blue eyes, tats and all black grungy wardrobe, wasn’t every one of my emo 15-year-old self’s wet dreams come true. I usually hate longer hair on guys but, Jesus Christ he was hawwwttt. Not only was his appearance insanely beautiful, but so was his personality. He was so full of life and had an innocence, awkwardness and vulnerability about him that was crazy endearing, but also surrounded by such a deep loneliness and longing to be wanted and loved that it broke my heart. Theo was so vivid that I could picture him perfectly and I fucking adored him. I loved that he was super tall and lanky, like a puppy that hadn’t grown into his paws yet, which is really different from the typical “swim suit model, abs for days” appearance in romances. For all his vibrant energy he had a sexiness about him that was intense. One second he would be tripping over himself and adorable and then next a wanton sex God. *sigh* I loved the spectrum of his character.
While Theo vibrated with energy, Caleb was jaded as fuck and barely hanging on. As a washed up recovering drug addict he struggled every day to survive. He wasn’t looking for happiness, he was just trying to get through the days and through the shame and guilt that his addiction had caused. Then he meets Theo in a dark bar and he makes him want things that he never thought he could have and that he was afraid to allow himself. I loved the complexity of Caleb’s character and reading his struggle to fight the fear and shame his addiction brought, and the belief that he didn’t deserve happiness. Damn, did fear rule his life, weighing in on every decision. But I totally got it. He was raw and jagged around the edges, but so kind and caring. Even though his life seemed out of control he had this calmness about him that was very soothing. He also sounded sexy AS FUCKKKK with his tattoos, rugged features and rougher demeanor. I pictured him exactly like the cover model, who is gorgeous. I loved reading his personal development, I loved reading how he was with Theo, I loved loved loved him.
I loved every piece of Theo and Caleb, as individuals and together. I loved how distinguished their voices were – from the way that they read I could tell that there was a 6+ year age gap without having to be told how old they were, which I appreciated. Their personalities were very different but complimented each other. THEIR CHEMISTRY WAS OFF THE CHARTS. They were so fucking cute, and adorable, and sweet and hot together. They spoke and felt so sweetly about each other. I swear I could feel their love oozing off the pages. Chan and I were talking about it, and this book has a level of intimacy and adoration that you don’t see in a lot of romances. They loved each other but they also adored each other and I feel like there is a difference between the two. They were constantly showing each other little affections: sitting in laps while having discussions, running hands through hair, cuddling and back rubbing, touching in little ways that weren’t sexual but comforting and this made their relationship seem so much deeper, raw and real. Yes, they had their issues but I loved how they were honest and open with each other, worked on having good communication and that sex wasn't used as an emotional band-aid. They actually talked things out, shared their thoughts and concerns. Shocking, I know. I 100% fell in love with their love and obviously I’m obsessed. They were two broken and lonely people, living life on autopilot and it was so beautiful watching them come to life with each other. I could clearly see that way they were changing each other, it was like they were breathing life back into the other.
This book had a level of admiration, tenderness, and love that I haven't gotten from any other M/M romances and to be honest and romances in general. It was sweet and beautiful and everything I want in a romance. I’m so in love and I’ll be reading this a million times. So yeah, good read this because it’s fantastic.
---------------------------------------------- The M/M marathon continues with the one bish as thirsty for M/M as me, Chan...more
The cool rock hums over my skin like it's sharing it's memories. I've borne witness to pain. I've seen canoes tip and people drown. I've collected the
The cool rock hums over my skin like it's sharing it's memories. I've borne witness to pain. I've seen canoes tip and people drown. I've collected the tears of a thousand men who have leaned against me and cried like you do... I'm a rock. The closest thing to eternal. An anthology of stories that never end. I smile and trace my name over it's surface. Then his.
Before going into this I told myself that I wanted something that made me heartsick, that made me swoon and yearn and cry. A story and characters that moved me.
This was wistfully perfect.
This book was so beautifully written and so unique. I loved how Cooper's love of rocks was embedded into the story. The different rocks, their properties, and legends, and lores. The memories and emotions that Cooper infused into them added a really special and mystical aspect to the story.
I instinctively search the ground for a rock, a pebble, a stone. Close to Jace's heel, a colorful beach stone with spots at one end seems to wink at me. If it represented the moment, it would be ocean jasper, a stone known for helping people cope with change.
While Cooper bled his emotions and memories into rocks, Jace bled them into music which wove throughout scenes and pages, giving glimpses into Jace's journey even though the writing is solely from Cooper's point of view. The combination of the two made for a truly immersive and whimsical experience.
I felt so much for Jace and Cooper. I felt Cooper's heartache over his broken family, his resistance to change, all his little hurts and sorrows. I felt Jace's sweetness, his struggles and confusions, his yearning. I felt their laughter, their love and their longing for one another. The chemistryI felt it all so deeply.
If I close my eyes, I hear his song and his ghost settles around me as if pulling me into his arms.
There's so much that can go wrong when an author decides to write a love story that borders on the taboo. It's very easy to get those VC Andrews vibes going and once those icky feelings start it's hard to make them go away. Everything in this was written very tastefully and brilliantly.
This was the sweetest of coming-of-age stories, lasting nearly ten years. It was melancholy and angsty but also full of moments of such vibrant happiness and emotional intimacy. Definitely a new favorite and a book I will be coming back to again, and again....more
Hayley ☾ (TheVillainousReader)
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