THIS BOOK WRECKED ME. Gutted me. It was heartbreaking.
Braden Raynor is a senior in high school, star pitcher of the baseball team, and son of ChristiaTHIS BOOK WRECKED ME. Gutted me. It was heartbreaking.
Braden Raynor is a senior in high school, star pitcher of the baseball team, and son of Christian conservative radio host Mart Raynor. His older brother Trey left 8 years ago to be a restaurateur in New York, and to escape his family. This leaves Braden feeling abandoned and resentful: his father has ingrained in him several lessons which Braden strongly believes to be true, but the problem is these lessons on loyalty, love, masculinity, and God are warped and Braden is too young and vulnerable to be able to parse out what is true and what is not true.
For example, Braden believes that any slight on the ball field must be avenged, whether to himself or a teammate. He uses his status as pitcher to harm the other team when they have played dirty. He doesn't believe in rising above (his father equates that with weakness) and so he intentionally aims to hit and hurt rivals. In one scene. Braden is caught between two poles of himself. (view spoiler)[A rival "spikes" his teammate Greg, crashing into first base heels first and slicing up Greg's heel. He can't play for the rest of the season. Braden plans on retaliating, but when he's on first base after getting intentionally walked, the other team's first baseman begs him not to: he understands why Braden would want to, but asks him for mercy for his teammate. His little sister is sick, and the brother isn't a match. It's wrecked him. Braden knows if he doesn't retaliate his father would not only be disappointed, he'd be furious at Braden for showing disloyalty to Greg. When Braden makess the honorable choice, he punishes himself for his failure to be loyal. (hide spoiler)]
Braden himself is not always likable. He has picked up his father's homophobia (in one horrible scene, (view spoiler)[he screams and mocks a teammate for losing the game and tell him to "bend over" for a baseball rival known to be gay (hide spoiler)]). He pushes and pushes his brother and tries to guilt him for for being a "bad son" and to forgive their father, even though Braden only knows part of the story why Trey refuses to do that. He espouses the same ideas as his father on illegal immigration, race, sin, and God. You dislike Braden for this, and you feel for him: he is a product of his father, and especially, of his father's abuse. This book challenged me: you want to hold people to a standard and believe that they are responsible for being better, despite what they have been taught. Then you read this book and realize how convoluted and complex that system really is. Even if Braden wanted to be better, he had nowhere to start, and a whole lot to lose by straying from his father's opinions.
Gilbert's depiction of abuse here is stunning. Sometimes you read a book and watch a movie and the abuse feels horrible, but not real. Here it's real. Mart Raynor reminded me of friends' ex-boyfriends, friends' parents, and sometimes, my own father. Mart both recognizes and fails to recognize his abuse. He constantly promises to be better, insists he does the things he does because he loves Braden (or Trey), feels betrayed and punishes his kids for not behaving exactly as he wants (not loving/putting their all into baseball, not proving their love to him), and drowns himself in liquor after his episodes of abuse.
The scenes of abuse will make you sick: 1. Braden, at one point, goes to visit the mother that abandoned him. He misses a baseball scrimmage to do this. He has 90+ missed calls from his father, who called the police. The police are startled by his behavior: he seems less concerned about the fact that his kid is missing than the fact that his kid is missing his scrimmage. When Braden returns and admits where he's been, (view spoiler)[Mart takes a baseball bat to his car. Braden thinks he'll take the baseball bat to himself, and when Mart realizes he's scared, Mart crumples and insists that Braden shouldn't be afraid of him. He would never hurt him, he says. He loves him. He had to do this. He needs Braden to know that of course his mother wouldn't want him in her life. He, Braden's father, is the only person that could even truly love Braden. (hide spoiler)] 2. At an earlier point, on Trey's birthday years after Trey has left the family, Braden does the unthinkable and pitches a perfect game. Nobody gets a run, hit, walk, bunt, etc. on him. His father is so proud. Does he want to go out to dinner and talk about the game? This is a slight alteration on their routine: usually they go home and order take out, but his father wants to take him out. Braden asks if, actually, would it be possible--the guys are all hanging out tonight to celebrate the win? Could he go, just for a little bit? Braden sees the hurt in his father's eyes, but Mart says yes. Braden leaves early (after having so much fun and asking himself why he doesn't do this more?) and comes home to his father sitting on the edge of his bed(view spoiler)[ with a gun in his hands, turning it over, drunk off his ass. Braden pleads with his father to put the gun away, terrified his father is going to hurt himself. Braden knows that his father's father killed himself in their garage and Mart found him on his 16th birthday (Mart refers to everyone who ever loved him leaving him behind and abandoning him--this is what he means, and what he turns around on his kids). When the situation finally de-escalates, Braden scolds himself for being such a terrible son and leaving his dad alone on Trey's birthday. (hide spoiler)] 3. In another scene, when Braden is much younger, maybe 11, on the hottest day of the year, over 102, he and his father go practice at the baseball fields as usual. Braden is sluggish and doesn't put his all into it. (view spoiler)[His father "graciously" takes his ball and bat and water so he won't have to carry it, and tells Braden to walk home to think about what he's done. (hide spoiler)] 4. Braden gets a "standard" birthday latter from his father. In it, his father (view spoiler)[ rates Braden. School: 10. Attitude: 6. Baseball: 7-9. Loyalty: ? (hide spoiler)] The central plot point revolves around Braden's father being on trial for murdering a cop. Braden is the key witness. He's got himself sick over the thought of testifying, worried that he'll screw it up (the prosecution is asking for the death penalty). Gilbert holds out on giving Braden's account of what happened until well over halfway through the book: (view spoiler)[Mart asks Braden why he went to see his mother, reiterating that he can be the only one that loves him. Braden is snippy with Mart because Mart's punishment for Braden rebelling by talking to his mother is to control his every move. Mart tells Braden to get in the car, refuses to tell him where they're going, and ends up at a dirty old house several towns away. He gets a tattoo with Trey and Braden's name, to prove his love for them, then acts sheepish about asking Braden to get a tattoo with his name. Braden refuses and tells him his father wasted his time. His father drives erratically on the freeway home to scare Braden, and slams Braden's head against the car door. Braden unbuckles and rolls out of the car to run away in the fog. By the time he gets Braden back in the car, he's been in "an accident" that he doesn't tell Braden about. Braden only learns when they're swarmed by police on the way home. His father asks Braden to lie for him. And there is the central plot of the novel: what will Braden do in court?(view spoiler)[
Ultimately, the book is just fascinating and well-paced and realistic, even in its horribleness. 5 stars. (hide spoiler)](hide spoiler)]...more
I think this is the best dystopian YA series I have ever read?
Reasons: -Alternating POVs between the two main characters that keeps things fast-paced aI think this is the best dystopian YA series I have ever read?
Reasons: -Alternating POVs between the two main characters that keeps things fast-paced and interesting (also hard to put down) -Not everyone is white!!! Most seem to be biracial. Day is Mongolian, Anden is Spanish. Pascao has dark skin, Tess has tan skin, and the Wiki apparently says that June's dominant heritage is Native American (I don't remember any suggestion of this, but I flew through these books really fast) -Not everyone is straight! I have complicated feelings about the main LGBTQ relationship, but I like that it appears that in this society, LGBTQ relationships are not ostracized as they are in today's society -Instead of the boring girl-with-two-guys-love-triangle-trope, this is less tropey, more nuanced, and both June and Day experience attraction to or have complicated feelings about other people in their life -June and Day are both feminine in some ways and masculine in others. They are both compassionate, family-oriented, and tender. They are also both excellent fighters. June is pragmatic; Day is emotional. -The series critiques classism, capitalism, fascism, and blind patriotism -June and Day have some seriously real struggles in their relationship. -For instance, how can you bridge the divide between two people that grew up in radically different worlds, mostly related to their class status? June has to recognize her privilege and realize that she was mostly unbothered and unconcerned with the treatment of poor people in her society. She struggles with her ignorance about the way the world really works, and Day calls her out when she treats money as if it's not as important as it is. June often (accidentally) hurts Day's feelings and recognizes this and tries to rectify it. (One example: Day makes her a paper clip ring and tells her that things like that are a symbol of love in the poor sectors; June asks, "Paper clip rings?" She realizes her tone doesn't match the seriousness of what he's presented with her. He answers, "No, something handmade.") -Other big struggles: June has to accept that she is personally responsible for some of the things which have caused Day the most sadness and heartache in his life. Day has to battle through whether love can conquer that. -Jealousy exists but doesn't make June or Day manipulative, shitty people. I think they actually model quite healthy practices in a relationship? -Tess, Day's best friend, is wary of June, and for good reasons. She goes through a background yet profound character arc in her maturity in book 3 and her and June become good friends. Some people think Tess is really bratty and whiny in book 2, I think that although there are complicated motivations in what Tess does and says, ultimately she 1) is honest about her feelings, 2) sticks up for herself, and 3) is a good enough friend to voice her very serious concerns to her best friend even when she knows it will probably upset him. In book 3, Tess does some serious reflecting about her behavior and feelings, and the end result is kind of awesome? -The book actually features a sex scene, which feels shocking for a YA dystopian novel (from what I remember, sex is discussed but not consummated in the Divergent series, and I feel like it's not even acknowledged in THG). It also feels really natural? Here are two people who are treated as adults in that society. They maintain their own homes, have prominent roles/functions in the government, and have had near-death experiences. The sex scene isn't gratuitous or graphic, but instead just an example of their deep feelings and devotion to each other. -While the world-building and character building fall a little flat in the first installment, it's made up for with the action-packed pace. The world-building and character arcs are much more refined in books 2 and 3. -The ending is heartbreaking and poetic and hopeful all at once!!!
The ending of this book wrecked me. I'm still too emotional to do a proper review. The ending of this book wrecked me. I'm still too emotional to do a proper review. ...more
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