I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You Quotes

“Darling, I may have to work late, so I might not be here when you get back. I hope you had a great time in North Korea and disabled a lot of nuclear weapons. With all my love, Josh.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“in a place where everyone knew my story, it was nice to know there was a chapter that only I had read.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“When I heard the ding of the diner door, I spun to see a mob of teenagers heading our way, and let me tell you, for a girl who’s gone to a private all-girls school since the seventh grade, that’s a pretty scary sight.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“This is probably a pretty good time to point out that while it may appear that I was lurking—I wasn’t. Lurking is what creepy guys with random facial hair and stains on their shirts do. Geniuses with three years of top secret spy training don’t lurk—we surveil. (Okay, I might have been lurking—a little.)”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Knock 'em dead!"
I was already inside when Liz yelled after me, "But not literally!”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“So, either they love pasta or are a family of axe murderers?” I quipped.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“What the newbies aren't told on their tour of the school grounds is that Gilly's sword is charged with enough electricity to... well... light your hair on fire.
I just love the start of school.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Food is so yesterday."
Unfortunately, that was the last time I'd had some.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Macey was across the table from me, and we glanced at each other—an unspoken dread lingering between us like the smell of olive oil and melting cheese, but beside me, Bex was unfazed, and I remembered the power of a
secret.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Is it true he killed a Turkish ambassador with a thong?” I wasn’t sure if she was talking about the sandals or the panties, but”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“since I know for a fact that her class had been in the physics labs when Mr. Fibs got attacked by the bees he thought he’d genetically modified to obey commands from a whistle. (Turns out they only respond to the voice of James Earl Jones.)”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Come on, guys,” I said, laughing. “What? Did you think he was going to ask me to the prom?” I teased. “Or, hey, Mom’s burning macaroni and cheese for supper Sunday night; maybe he can come over and she can tell him about the time she jumped off a ninety-story balcony in Hong Kong with a parachute she made out of
pillowcases.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Oh, is that what I smell?” Mrs. McHenry said with a shudder. (For the record, our school smells just fine, unless of course your smelling ability has been irreparably damaged by a lifetime of sniffing perfume samples.)”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“we saw a man walking in our midst who would have made James Bond feel insecure. Indiana Jones would have looked like a momma’s boy compared to the man in the leather jacket with two days’ growth of beard who walked to where my mother stood and then—horror of horrors—winked at her.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“People call me The Chameleon here—if you go to spy school, I guess that’s a pretty good nickname.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“grabbing the sword Gillian Gallagher used to slay the guy who was going to kill Abraham Lincoln—the first guy, that is. The one you never hear about.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“All these years I’d thought being a spy was challenging. Turns out, being a girl is the tricky part.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“MTV will lead us to believe that the B word has become a term of endearment or slang among equals, but I still mainly think of it as the insult of choice for the inarticulate.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“I kicked and I made contact.
"You know, Ms Morgan, that was your mother you just hammered.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“He said he never even saw you, though," Bex said, as if she'd just remembered.
Liz came in and added, "Yeah, Cammie, he was really impressed when he heard you'd been out there. Like, really impressed.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“He didn’t need to find a way into the Gallagher Academy, he told himself. He’d be walking through the front doors soon enough.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Somehow, I think the fact that the inceptor looked like a cross between a young George Clooney and Orlando Bloom might have played into that a little bit.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Maybe wrist corsages cut off circulation to the brain? I mean, is that why so many girls do stupid things on prom night? I”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“There are”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“superspy”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“movies, and a lot of them involve wagers in which plain-looking girls (like me) are approached by really cute boys (like Josh).”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“She sounded less like the soft, elderly teacher we knew and more like the woman who had single-handedly taken out a Nazi machine gun on D-day.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“No, she’s famous for defusing a nuclear device in Brussels with only a pair of cuticle scissors and a ponytail holder. Somehow, at that moment, pies seemed cooler.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You

“Well . . .” she said, stumbling over the obvious, “Bex always has been kind of rules-optional.”
― Ally Carter, I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You