Beauty and the Bookworm Quotes

“I’ll read anything since I’m something of a book slut.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Thanks for the penis, God. I don’t have the balls to be a woman.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Somewhere along the way, I stopped living in the real world. I expected life to be like my books. I expected happily ever after out of every situation and when I didn’t get it, I’d just read another book.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Fine, Gran. I’ll fist his ass.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Besides, this story, my story, is a lot more interesting than some dried up old Russians. Why? This story has dicks, lots and lots of dicks. Oh, so now you’re interested? I should have put dick in the first line.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“I like trees, they will someday be books.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“I was on a kick of reading nothing but gay romance because I was in a bit of a sexual slump, unless you count reading one handed, if you do, I was having lots and lots of sex.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“She's a lot more than nice," Gran said with a leer, "after our last date, I came home with my face looking like a glazed donut. That gal's juices are flowing. She must be on some kind of hormone replacement therapy.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“I held a beautiful leather-bound copy of Moby Dick in one hand and my Moby dick in the other.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Cardigans can be very sexy.”
“Really? Go into the bathroom, stare into the mirror, then come back out here and tell me if you’d fuck yourself.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“No one ever spoke above a whisper in the staff lounge, but I felt the need to shush her anyway. I gave her my best librarian frown and put one finger to my lips. It works every time. We librarians are like practitioners of Jedi mind-control when it comes to shushing.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“I was not raped! I had a boxing lesson! Are you both crazy?”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Can we all agree that the sexiest thing in the world is a nice ass in a jockstrap? Is there anything better in creation? I think not.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“my story, is a lot more interesting than some dried up old Russians. Why? This story has dicks, lots and lots of dicks.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“He also noticed me watching. “Gotta stretch after a run.”

“Don’t I know it, ” I said, because, you know, I did attend gym class once upon a time. I eventually got out of it with a hard-won, totally bogus asthma diagnosis that placed me right where I wanted to be – the library. But I did remember the bit about stretching after a run.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“I mean, are you even really gay?”
I sighed. “Of course I’m gay. I’ve got something up my butt right now.”
Twyla’s eyes widened in shock and her lips spread into a delighted grin. “You do? Oh, my God! What is it? Is it like a… place holder?”
I shook my head and laughed into my hand. “There’s nothing up my butt. A placeholder? You’re nuts.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Whatever this guy was about to dish out, I was prepared to respond with, “Thank you, sir, and, may I have another?”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“I was one sexy, cardigan-clad HoMoFo.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“As for the dick, sorry, nothing to write home about. It’s perfectly average, but looks great since it’s attached to an undersized body. These things are all about proportion. Anyway, average all the way, which means, although I would like to get screams of ecstasy from those generous souls who let me stick it in them, I usually end up getting moans of contentment (could be boredom, but let’s go with contentment).”
― nick pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“I wouldn’t call it performance anxiety exactly, because my dick was so hard I could have let him do pull ups on it. One-handed pull ups, I admit, but still – pull ups.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“He dropped in front of me and did the leg spread. Lycra is proof that God exists.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“There’s going to be just a teeny bit of angst (this is a romance book) and then there’s going to be a Happily Ever After. And, oh yes, dicks and butts, lots of dicks and butts. Seriously, keep a wet wipe handy, there’s some really hot stuff in here.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“I got several slaps on my bare ass from the strangers who had just watched me take a beating. I decided boxing is super-gay.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“She’s a lot more than nice,” Gran said with a leer, “after our last date, I came home with my face looking like a glazed donut. That gal’s juices are flowing. She must be on some kind of hormone replacement therapy.” “Gran!”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Now I was truly offended. “I don’t read romance novels,” I hissed, “I read gay fiction.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“He kissed me and then pulled back, looking very serious. “I love you, Mason.”

There it was. The magical phrase. In every book I’d ever read it was accompanied by either tears or long descriptions of deep stirrings in the chest that sounded suspiciously like coronaries. This wasn’t like that at all. It was just a simple statement of how things were. “I love you, too.”

“Good,” he said with an easy smile.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“fired up my e-reader to get lost in Easter Lust. It’s a story about a bunny rabbit shifter who meets a chicken shifter. They come together, fall in love, and then, tragically, discover they’re both submissive bottoms.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Like the fact that he’s my twin brother and I know you’ll eventually ask us to double-penetrate you.”
I tried very hard to look shocked. “I don’t even know what that means, Shane.”
“And you’re never going to find out.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“One day a little old lady came and asked my name, saying she couldn’t read my nametag. I told her and reached for the little slip of paper she held, but she put it behind her back. It seemed she wanted to chat before giving it up. Fine with me. We chatted about our matching cardigans (the fact that I dress like a little old lady was not lost on me) and we chatted about how the Portland weather bothered her bones. We talked for a long while about her husband and how much she’d grown to hate him over the years. Then, since I guessed I’d earned her trust, she handed me her slip of paper. It was for a book on exotic poisons. I got her the book and spent the next few weeks scanning the obituaries for every old man that had died. So, yes, folks I may be an accomplice to murder. Don’t say there’s no excitement at the library.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm

“Laurelhurst is big and full of walking/jogging trails, meadows to let your doggie run free, and tree after tree after tree. I like trees, they will someday be books.”
― Nick Pageant, Beauty and the Bookworm