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"Close your eyes. I'll close mine too."


Growing up, I was the problem child teachers didn’t know what to do with.
The troubled teen whose parents wished was never born.
The system’s made of cracks, and I fell through each and every one, all in a futile effort to protect the family legacy.


They tried to fix me.
Doctors…therapists…teachers…pastors…
And they failed. Epically.


Now, eighteen, and fresh out of Hell, I’m thrown into the last place I ever expected.


Rehab.


Enter Nolan Dresden.
Newly divorced. A recovering alcoholic. Almost double my age.
He doesn’t think he needs to be here anymore than I do, and all he sees when he looks at me is a privileged little prince.


But when a team building exercise takes a deadly turn, stranding Nolan and I out in the wild for a night, not only do we find ourselves bonding over our shared trauma…
But surrendering to a current neither of us can escape.


Six weeks.
That’s all we have together before we have to come up for air.
He’s worried I’ll grow attached.
I’m worried he’s right.


But like the storms that rage inside me…
There’s no stopping the inevitable.


And when all is said and done, it’ll be a miracle if either of us walk away unscathed.




Exiled is a full-length emotional age-gap MM standalone. Previously published as part of the Unlucky 13 multi-author series, the ONLY commonality between this book and the others is one of the major settings: the island, Black Diamond.


This book deals with some difficult topics that may be triggering for some readers. A list of triggers can be found at beginning of book, and a more detailed breakdown can be found on author's website as well as the back of the book, after the Acknowledgments.

578 pages, Paperback

First published August 29, 2023

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About the author

Jessie Walker

13 books1,010 followers
Jessie Walker is an indie author of queer love stories based out of Scranton, Pennsylvania, where she lives with her long-time partner and fur-spawn. Drawn to all things dark and twisted, she likes to pretend she's not the hopeless romantic at heart that she is. She has ADHD and a background in psychology/mental health services, both of which contribute greatly to her storytelling and the themes of her long-winded, character-driven works. When she's not drudging away at a keyboard, there's a very good chance you'll find her vegged out on her couch, listening to sad '90s grunge, and day dreamin’ about the all the stories crowding her brain.

Random Facts About Me
Scorpio Sun | Aries Moon | Scorpio Rising
The most socially anxious ENFP you'll ever meet.
Chaotic AF because decisioning and planning is hard.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 576 reviews
Profile Image for aleksandra.
662 reviews2,910 followers
May 12, 2024
4.5/5

Oh man. It's hard to gather feelings after finishing an amazing book, it's even harder to put them into words and write them down. In short, this book blew me away. I couldn’t stopped reading from the very beginning. If I had to advise one thing before reading it, it would be to trust the process. I was mad, I was sad, I wanted to throw my Kindle across the room, but at the same time I wanted to get inside the book and hug the main characters without never letting them out of my arms. Don't worry though, their path to a happy ending may not have been the easiest, but I cried with happiness in the epilogue because I was so proud of them.


The story follows Nolan and Skylar who are sent to rehab for various reasons. Nolan — a newly divorced father who recently relapsed after a near-tragedy in his life, and Skyler — a misunderstood boy whose parents send him to a place which was supposed to be his last resort. Six weeks, a few group therapy meetings, one team building exercise who turned out changing their lives and one agreement to spend the rest of their stay losing themselves in their bodies, changed everything for them.

Jessie Walker's writing has always made me feel things. This book did exactly the same. I felt all kinds of emotions here, my heart was pounding so fast at times that I thought it would jump out of my chest. Okay, maybe I exaggerated a bit, but momentarily I was stressing.


But, let's get to the point. My thoughts.

Let’s start from the romance part of the book. Our two main characters started out as friends with benefits because that's what they needed at the time, but ended up with something they both didn't want from the start — feelings. Their journey to finally be together will probably break your heart at times and may make you want to scream at them, but trust me, it's worth the wait. Every choice, every decision will make sense in the end. Nolan and Skylar are true soulmates, and despite the tears, the heartbreak, and all the years they had to wait for each other, they got their own happy ending.

I started my Jessie Walker journey with Will and Way’s duet, which I loved, and I never thought that these two would ever stop being my favorite couple of this author, but it surprisingly happened. What can I say, Nolan and Skyler just stole my heart. These two were both at different stages in their lives, both struggled with different problems, and both had pasts that haunted them every day, yet despite all these things, they were everything to each other and what they needed most.

“I’m not letting you go,” he says. “For anything. I’ll make this work. Whatever it takes.”


"Forget the ocean—let me drown in him.
Engrave me in his bones.
Bury me in his veins.
Let me live as I died—as his."


It was hard not to love Skylar. This guy literally deserved everything after what his parents — who shouldn't have been them, made him go through, because they didn't understand him. He was so determined and loved with his whole heart. I was so happy that he found happiness with Nolan, and got stronger along the way.

Nolan's character might make you question his choices and mistakes, for which he apologized, but it was hard not to understand him. He struggled from an early age and went to rehab for a reason. He made the choice that ended their arrangement due to their age difference and the fact that they were both at the wrong time in their lives for it to work. Some may disagree, be angry with him, but I personally agreed with him and completely understand his choice. Let me just say that the wait was worth it. The last thing. This man was dirty dirty. The intimate scenes left me with my jaw on the floor, and I say this as someone who usually skips or skims through them.

I obviously won’t include spoilers here, but as I said above, there’s an age gap. Pretty big age gap — fourteen years, Sky is 18, Nolan 32. It’s usually not a problem for me when both of the characters are at least twenty — it’s just my personal preference, but here one of them was not, but, just wait and see. I will only say that, even though the book hurt and they had to wait for each other, I really liked how Jessie Walker handled it.


I've only read three books in this series, and I don't like to pick number one in cases like this because each book was different, but this one definitely took the top spot. If you want to read a book with age gap (18/32), forced proximity, taboo-ish, virgin + possessive alpha, friends with benefits, hurt comfort and *no kissing allowed*, run and add it to your tbr.


*I received a free copy of this book via author and am voluntarily leaving a review.*
April 9, 2024
re-read April 2024

Just as heartachingly beautiful as the first time. ♡

“When it gets all loud and you feel itchy, like you’re crawling out of your skin, and you feel like you might do something stupid…” […] “Find me.”[…] “I can take it, okay?”


If this isn’t one of the greatest declarations of love then I don’t know what is. 😭❤️


4.75***** stars


I’ve been so busy these past few weeks I’m now 10 books behind my reading schedule/goal and haven’t read a book in weeks (audios only) and I’ve been missing the hell out of it!! It was like a balm to my soul to finally sit down in peace again and read. And what a come-back this one was.


⇢ Hell, “Exiled” was so hard to put down. The desperation. The need for each other. It was everything. And once again, Jessie Walker amazes me with her writing skills. The intense and vivid descriptions of what was happening, the surroundings as well as the feelings and thoughts of the characters. She really is one hell of a writer.

It was as if he stepped right into my storm, reached into the eye, and threw me back out.


I loved everything about this book. Nolan and Skyler stole my heart, broke it and pieced it back together. Everything they fought for and succeeded to gain for themselves they deserved. And only the obstacles they had to overcome brought them to the place where they finally could be happy. Together.

“Yours, storms and all,”
Storms and all, always.

“You’re what I’ve been waiting for all along. The missing piece. The lightning that lit up my world.”


ABSOLUTELY RECOMMENDED! So don’t miss out on meeting Nol and Sky, fall in love with them and come to agree with the author when she said “We need more Nolan’s in the world.” I also absolutely love the idea of getting more books from this universe for the two couples JW introduced in this one as well one day. I’m looking forward to them.


side note: Jessie Walker said it herself, this is not her usual dark romance, it’s more like the lightest (and steamiest) she’s ever written, but still a heavy read, so *please heed TWs, regardless.


******************
Unlucky 13 Multi-Author Series


Book 11 - Exiled - 4.75 stars
Profile Image for Stacy.
287 reviews123 followers
August 28, 2023
We’re just two lost souls, trapped in this hell masquerading as paradise, banished from the outside world, looking for a way out.

Skyler’s parents are the scum of the Earth. They’ve done nothing but ship him from one bad situation to another, only looking for a quick fix. By the time he arrives at Black Diamond, he’s convinced this will just be another nightmare. Nolan is maybe the first person to ever really just listen to Skyler. To see him for who he is.

I don’t know. There’s just something about him, something that just…calls to me? A kinship of sorts. A loneliness in him that resonates with the loneliness in me.

Nolan is also dealing with some difficulty back home after he makes a terrible decision. This has also landed him at Black Diamond to hopefully get some much-needed help for his addiction issue.

Skyler and Nolan are so good for each other and are really hot together. Nolan was just so perfectly possessive of Sky. They fell so hard for one another.

He doesn’t take mercy on me. He eats at me until I’m a boneless, quivering mess, pleading with him to fill me. Fuck me. Hurt me. Destroy me. I’m not me anymore. I’m his.

They also both experienced some first times when they were together. Nolan was just so caring of Sky.

The part of the book that occurs right after Nolan leaves Black Diamond just about wrecked me. Three simple words at the start of Part II. I was reeling.

After leaving the resort, Skyler and Nolan are dealing the best that they can now that they’re not together anymore, but it’s a struggle. A part of each of them is still back on that island. It’s heart wrenching.

During this time, Sky really grew into himself and with the right help he has learned how to handle his issues and emotions much better than he ever has before. Sky decides to go after Nolan. He’s fought for his freedom and he’s done a damn impressive job of taking care of himself. Now he’s going to get his man. When they finally run into each other again, it’s a lot for both of them.

I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed being held hostage by his all-consuming attention. It makes me blind to any and everything but him. His gaze. His scent. His smell. His big, looming body standing guard, right where I need him to be. There to swoop in and save the day…save me from myself…

Nolan doesn’t think he deserves happiness. He’s been punishing himself for years, trying to atone for a prior mistake. Sky comes back into his life at just the right time. These two really earned their HEA.

“I won’t let you be, and I won’t let you ruin this or regret us, because no one else has ever looked at me the way you do. Touched me the way you do. Held me the way you do.”

“You’re what I’ve been waiting for all along. The missing piece. The lightning that lit up my world.”

Check out my reviews for some of the other Unlucky 13 books:
#1 - Broken
#3 - Unfortunate
#5 - Exception
#7 - Consumed
#8 - Abysmal
#9 - Splintered
#12 - Reckless
#13 - Shattered

*** I received and ARC of this book from the author and this is my honest opinion. ***
Profile Image for Mila (Semi-Hiatus).
250 reviews337 followers
September 21, 2023
***4.0 rating***

"He left me...just like everyone does. "Why does no one ever want to keep me?" 😭😭

Where do I begin with this book?

This was my first introduction to Jessie Walker's work, and in her author's note, she mentions that this is her least angsty book to date. To my surprise, I found it to be quite angsty, which makes me wonder just how emotional her other books can be! I must admit, I'm a bit nervous to dive into her other works because this one took me on an emotional rollercoaster. There were tears involved, and if her other books are even more angsty, I might need a whole box of tissues!

In this narrative, it was Skylar who truly touched my heart, although Nolan also played a pivotal role. Skylar's journey through these pages was nothing short of gut-wrenching, given the hardships inflicted upon him by his own parents. His encounter with Nolan at Black Diamond, a man significantly older and in the process of recovery from addiction, marked the beginning of an extraordinary story. Nolan didn't exactly win my favor at the outset; he came across as aloof and somewhat abrasive, viewing Skylar as just another privileged snob amidst the crowd at Black Diamond. But first impressions can often be deceiving.

Nolan's character underwent a remarkable transformation over the course of the story. What started as a somewhat antagonistic relationship gradually evolved into a profound connection. These two seemingly disparate individuals found common ground in their shared pain and struggles. One was on a mission to make amends for past mistakes driven by addiction, while the other bore the scars of cruel family dynamics and the horrors of conversion therapy. Their willingness to confide in each other and provide solace in times of despair was nothing short of awe-inspiring. Skylar, in particular, awakened a protective instinct in Nolan, a man who had never before explored a romantic relationship with another man. In fact, it was Nolan who made Sky feel truly safe, for the first time ever.

Their romance was a fiery tempest of emotions, leaving an indelible mark on their souls, especially when Nolan departed from Black Diamond, leaving Skylar behind. That particular scene left me in tears, my heart aching for the sweet Skylar. All of this poignant drama unfolds in Part 1 of the book.

Part 2 catapults us three years into the future, where both men find themselves in vastly different circumstances. Skylar has managed to liberate himself from the clutches of his oppressive parents, while Nolan has made amends with his ex-wife, seemingly moving forward in their respective lives without each other. However, the passage of time has not erased the love they shared. Despite the brevity of their initial encounter, which typically wouldn't seem enough to forge such a profound bond, Jessie managed to convey the intensity of their connection in a wholly convincing manner.

While three years have elapsed, both men continue their quest to reunite. Skylar embarks on a journey to Nolan's town, driven by an insatiable desire to find him. Yet, an unfortunate misunderstanding leads Skylar to believe that Nolan has rekindled his relationship with his ex-wife, shattering his heart once more. With no intention of staying in Nolan's town, Skylar instead stumbles upon a place to settle and discovers unexpected friendships.

But fate isn't finished orchestrating the story of these two men. One fateful night, Nolan and Skylar serendipitously cross paths at Skylar's workplace, and the shock of their reunion is palpable. Despite their tumultuous history, neither is willing to let go of the other; they are unequivocally soulmates in every sense. In my opinion, Part 2 more than compensates for the emotional turbulence we experienced in Part 1.

Their relationship may be far from perfect, but somehow, these two souls, bearing the scars of their pasts and bridging an age difference, are undeniably perfect for each other. They are, without a doubt, soulmates in every sense of the word.

I loved the epilogue and their HEA was much deserved. Even though this book was 600+ pages it was so worth the read!

Expect:

-Age gap
-Opposites Attract
-Autism and Addiction rep
-Hurt/Comfort
-Bi-Awakening
-Forced proximity
-Virgin MC
- Found Family
- Please read the CW and TW
- Angst
- A well-deserved HEA



I received an advance review copy for free from the author, and this is my honest opinion/review.
Profile Image for Enay QueerBooklover.
434 reviews201 followers
August 29, 2023
As anyone knows who follows me, I’m a massive fan of Jessie & her writing. She has, yet again, given us a gift with this book. I think she’s one of the most exciting & talented new authors of the last couple of years.

Swoon /5 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Angst /5 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Steam /5 ♨️♨️♨️♨️♨️
Plot /5 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐
LOLs /5 🤭🤭🤭

Jessie says in the author’s note that this book is the “lightest” to date that she’s written. I disagree…she had me crying in the quickest time of any book that I’ve read. Perhaps it’s my ability to relate to one of the MCs, Skylar. Jessie has done an incredible job at writing Sky as neurodivergent - it’s so authentic that it will pluck at the heartstrings of anyone who is, or knows someone on the autism spectrum. It was so accurate that I was frequently choking back tears because I could connect with the words so completely.

Sky has been deprived of love for all 18 years of his life, & comes to Black Diamond with significant trauma (check content warnings). There he meets Nolan, an older man struggling with alcohol addiction, all-consuming guilt, & his awakening bisexuality. We see their back-stories in a succession of time jumps which are gut-wrenching in their detail, & blend well into the storyline so there’s no disorientation. Nolan is difficult to like initially - he’s quick to judgement, & lashes out at people when he feels challenged, & Sky is in the path. But once we see what he has been through, & hear his self-aware but highly critical internal monologue, we can empathise with him more. Especially when he soon shows that he sees & appreciates Sky for all of his wonderful qualities & his beautiful heart.

The heat in this is absolute next level, definitely Jessie’s spiciest yet. Nolan takes to his bisexual exploration with fervour & toppy dominance, showing his DIRTY mouth in words & actions… & Sky laps up every minute of it. It’s thigh-clinchingly sexy, especially when they experiment with fruit & sex…SAY.NO.MORE. But they won’t kiss! This teases out the intimacy, leaving something for when emotions get involved, and I appreciate a change in the usual way things go sexually.


When they separate, it’s one of the most angst-ridden, traumatic scenes of loss I’ve ever read. They believe that, due to the age-gap, their mental health histories, and family circumstances that there is no hope of it working outside of the resort, so don’t even share contact details. Buckets of tears. Thank God they find each other again. Eventually. But the growth in both of them in the interim is significant & makes the reunion all the more special. We go from heart-stopping drama, crushing loss, to blissful reunion in a rollercoaster of deep emotion.

Quotes:
“He laughs, and something just…shifts in my chest, like a rusty seal breaking open at the sight of his lip curving up just before he turns away.
My mouth dries. My heart thumps a little faster. Harder.”

“Forget the ocean—let me drown in him.
Engrave me in his bones.
Bury me in his veins.
Let me live as I died—as his.”

“Skyler swept into my life like a hurricane.
I had plenty of warning.
Plenty of time to board up my walls and take shelter.
And yet when the cyclone finally hit, I realized how futile it was.
It was always coming for me.
He was always going to be my downfall.
And now I’m left with the wreckage, and a sky so blue, it makes me ache for storm clouds. For lightning and rain and bone-quaking winds.
I miss him.
I ache for him.”

Content warnings for religious trauma, suicide attempts, bullying and violence towards neurodivergent MC, abusive parents.

Check out my reviews and MM content on Instagram, Threads, StoryGraph, Facebook & Bookbub, all under the same name! I gratefully received an advance copy and this is my honest review.
Profile Image for Miki_reads.
285 reviews111 followers
August 21, 2024
“Someone is going to come along and love you, storms and all.”

Audio reread update 16/07/24
the audio for this is fucking incredible and i am still absolutely NEVER moving on

Reread thoughts 8/02/24

This reread did absolutely nothing to curb my fixation on these 2. I'm fucking obsessed. Down bad. NEVER MOVING ON EVER. I'd literally kill for Skyler, no questions asked. I also had completely forgot how hot Nolan is and that is a crime on my part. These 2 are the definition of soul mates I will literally scream it for the rest of my life.

Also can we talk about how amazing Jessie is at writing the little moments that'll just fucking shatter you? There are so many perfect quotes in this I just want the whole book tattood on my forehead. Anyway I love them and i dont even like age gap romances. Infinity stars. This is that book I bully everyone i know (and on my socials) into reading. It's my favourite book ever. These characters mean way too much to me at this point.


Original review 17/08/2023 :

It took me a few days to gather my thoughts but...Wow. THIS FRIGGING BOOK!!!! Yet another masterpiece from Jessie. At this point, I want to be buried with everything she's ever written and a box of tissues.

Skyler and Nolan were perfect. They first meet at a rehab centre where Nolan is a recovering alcoholic and Skyler is just recovering from life in general.

What you get:
⛈️ age gap
🖤 bi awakening
⛈️ autism and addiction rep
🖤 soul mate energy
⛈️ Hurt/comfort
🖤 Angsty road to a perfect HEA

Sometimes you read a book, and it feels like it's written specifically for you. This is one of those for me. Everything about this was perfect. Skyler is one of those characters I'd risk it all to protect and the way this had me balling from the 20% mark is absolutely criminal. Sky may be one of the most relateable characters I've ever come across, and Nolan is everything. The way he holds space for Sky is what dreams are made of. NOT TO MENTION THE SPICE IN THIS HAD ME BLUSHING 🫠

Jessie is starting to make me question if I'm a masochist because I'm addicted to these hard earned HEA's. They are always so cathartic. The way she pulls every single emotion out of me is truly a master-class. It's easily a top read of 2023 for me 🫶

Ratings
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🌶🌶🌶.5









*I received an arc and this is my honest review*
Profile Image for Jonathan Samuel.
121 reviews10 followers
September 17, 2024
‘Close your eyes. I’ll close mine too’

You know that really old bottle of wine that’s been sitting on your shelves just waiting for that special day, that’s exactly how I felt about this book.

I was destroyed. I was heart broken. I was swooning. I was sobbing (again) BUT it was so worth it and seeing Skyler and Nolan dynamics as well as character growth was unmatched. I can’t help but draw comparisons to another book favorite and that’s CMBYN. The scene with the strawberry was GIVING THAT.

“I didn’t move on. I didn’t fucking forget. I’m still there.” I jab him again in the chest. “I’m still there and I never left!” I scream.

Shoutout to my favorite buddy reader Roberta. I linked his review as well.

⛈️🍓

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Llakshmi.
509 reviews447 followers
September 18, 2023
that is the best way to stay up till 2:00 am on a thursday night or well friday morning☕️☕️

Skylar and Nolan were both darling characters who had individual struggles that the other person just listened to instead of being completely involved in and to me that’s something I’ve not read often.

they called each other on their bullshit and had communication😭🤌. Even their little spats were paused so they can explain themselves. My babies💕😭

I don’t really know why this was just 4 stars. I guess it’s not something I’ll re-read or even think about after today but it made my day whilst reading and that’s all that matters to me
Profile Image for Julia (bookish.jka).
775 reviews217 followers
September 6, 2023
"Skyler swept into my life like a hurricane. I had plenty of warning. Plenty of time to board up my walls and take shelter. And yet when the storm finally hit, I realized how futile it was. It was always coming for me. He was always going to be my downfall."

Exiled by Jessie Walker is book 11 in the standalone, multi-author, MM Unlucky 13 series, which is set around an all inclusive, private resort built exclusively for the troubled elite. This is Skylar and Nolan's story.

This series has been a real mixed bag of reads for me, but Jessie Walker is one of my fave writers, well-known for her angsty books and so it was no surprise that Exiled is one of the angstier instalments in the series. You have been warned!

Tropes:

🖤 Friends with benefits
🖤 Opposites attract
🖤 First times
🖤 Forced proximity
🖤 All the steam
🖤 All the feels
🖤 All the angst
🖤 Mental health rep
🖤 Hurt/comfort
🖤 Hard won HEA

Buckle up and prepare for the ride....

4.5 stars
Profile Image for Sarah.
777 reviews38 followers
January 19, 2024
Gah GR crashed out just before posting my review - in summary it said “ I really liked this book, it was awesome but I can never look at strawberries the same way again”
Profile Image for Marilla ☘︎ (semi-hiatus).
138 reviews66 followers
August 20, 2024
Our story lives on in the lightning, forever painting the night sky violet.


This was my first book from this author. But I can safely say that Jessie Walker is a new favourite author of mine.


Beautiful
Heart-breaking
Frustrating
Forgiving
Healing


Skylar and Nolan's story gut-punched me!
The pain was worth it though. Their romance was everything!! I felt the chemistry and love between them to my core!!
Absolutely a 6✨ read for me.

I don't really know what else to say...
But if you want to read about two flawed, lonely and struggling, caring and beautiful individuals? I highly recommend reading this book.

Tropes/what to expect:

🌩️Age-gap
🌩️Single dad
🌩️Bi-awakening
🌩️Trauma
🌩️Addiction
🌩️Neurodivergent rep
🌩️Dual pov

Favourite quote:

“Yours, storms and all,”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for TrippyBooks.
899 reviews399 followers
July 24, 2024
4.5

If you like angst, age gap & hot 🌶️ you’ll love this one.

I really loved this audio for this one im glad i waited for it
Will definitely read more from this author
Loved her writing


Autistic mc
Grumpy scruffy man
Overcoming Addiction
Significant age gap
Profile Image for haletostilinski.
1,367 reviews554 followers
September 29, 2023
⭐︎ 5+++ Stars And Beyond! ⭐︎

To say I loved this story would be an understatement. It was off the charts amazing. I should expect nothing less from a Jessie Walker book. It was just everything I could have hoped for and more.

Hands down the best book of this series, no competition, even having not read quite a few others in this. But I know none of them are topping this.

It. Was. AMAZING.

I couldn't put it down. It's 530 pages of amazingness.

Nolan and Skyler were so amazing together and I couldn't get enough of them.

Now, this includes these two starting a sexual and romantic relationship when Skyler has just turned 18 and Nolan is 32.

If that age gap is too much for you to get past, then this unfortunately isn't for you. Yes, I side-eye all real life relationships with this age gap.

But this is fiction. And it helps that Nolan never met Skyler before he turned 18, he's only known him as an adult, and Nolan feels suitably guilty for it for a long time. So much so that Skyler gets angry about it, a lot. So it's not like Nolan doesn't realistically grapple with wanting an 18 year old.

But it's fiction and damn it, it's true love.

Nolan is a 32 year old father of a two year old, who went to rehab for 8 weeks, and is not being forced to go on an additional 6 weeks of it at Black Diamond by his ex-wife's rich parents. Nolan is resistant to this at first, angry about having to be there after he already went through 8 weeks of it back home.

But his relapse - he's been an addict since he was a teenager, in and out of rehab a lot before he was sober for 5 years, before his recent relapse - almost causes a tragedy to happen. Nothing like rock bottom for an addict to get help. But Nolan has done the getting sober thing so many times, and was sober for 5 years, that he thinks that he's good now, the 8 weeks was all he needed...

And he wants so badly to see his daughter, Abby, who is his whole world.

Skyler, freshly 18, is there at Black Diamond as well because his rich parents think he's addict as well, when really he tried to kill himself, and they just looked at the pills he used to do it as an overdose and not a suicide attempt.

So he's in the rehab program when he doesn't need to be.

But Skyler does have problems. His mental health the forefront. Because he's Autistic, but had horrible parents and was a kid still when Autism and ADHD weren't diagnosed together - and he is fairly high functioning on the Autism spectrum, so the doctors at the time didn't think he classified as Autistic - he has been mistreated his whole life, especially most recently at a "boarding school" he was sent to his senior year by his parents that was highly religious in the very toxic way, and when a boy betrayed him, and they found he was gay, he was put in conversion therapy.

Nolan isn't the friendliest at first, but he never bullshits with Skyler. He doesn't look at him like he's different, or like he's a freak. He treats Skyler like a person.

Their connection is instant. When Nolan is forced to stay an extra 6 weeks at Black Diamond, the two have more time to connect, especially after a hike in the jungle on the island goes wrong, and everything changes after that.

It might seem like these two fall in love quickly, but it never felt like it. It just...fit. They were perfect together.

Angst, of course, happens. This is Jessie Walker, after all :). But after some separation, they're reunited, and get a second chance at the happiness they didn't get to fully have the first time.

As much as the separation sucks, I do think it was needed for them to deal with their problems on their own, without each other. It just made them all the more stronger when they did get back together.

Like Nolan says, his all consuming need for Skyler on the island could have easily turned toxic. But as painful as their separation was, Nolan got so much better, even better than he was before his last relapse. He got a good sponsor, went to regular AA meetings, therapy and took his time to regain his ex, Mel's, trust again around their daughter.

For Skyler, he got help after. He stayed and went into the mental health program instead of the rehab one, got formally diagnosed, got proper medication, and learned better coping mechanisms for when things got too overwhelming for him. And he really learned how to stand on his own two feet by himself.

The chemistry was, of course, absolutely off the charts amazing. I absolutely loved these two. The sex scenes were absolute 🔥 and the passion between them was *chef's kiss*. And the first time they kiss (they have sex before they even kiss, so the build up was huge) was just so amazing, and the sex they have then too is just...off the charts amazing. All that passion and love between them, just amazing.

Highly, HIGHLY recommend this. You won't regret it. Best book of the series. I just...oh man, I can't praise this enough, I absolutely LOVED it.

Can't sing it's praises enough. Just...where these two start out and where they get to is AMAZING and made me want to cry and it was beautiful and I just LOVE it!

I'm so excited for more from Jessie Walker, I literally can't get enough of her works. They just suck you in and hold you captive until you finish and can come up for air after reading one of the best romances you'll ever read.

I'm just...in awe.

If you haven't read this yet, do it now! Trust me! 😍🥰😘

My Ratings for the Unlucky 13 Series:

Broken: A Black Diamond Novel by Andi Jaxon: 3 stars (my review)
Wounded by Ashley James: 4 stars (my review)
Unfortunate by Nicole Dykes: TBR
Scandal by T. Ashleigh: 3.5 stars (my review)
✨ Exiled by Jessie Walker: 5+ stars
Profile Image for Dani.
974 reviews116 followers
August 19, 2024
I liked Skyler and Nolan, I liked their story, but for some reason I just could not connect emotionally to either character and I only have one idea of why that is!

I think I needed to see Skylar on his own at Black Diamond and working out who he is and what he needs to do to take back control of his life, because it felt like a huge gap in the story for me and I'm fairly sure that's where all the emotion would be for me to form that connection that I usually get to Jessie's characters. I think if I had seen Skyler working through everything in therapy, getting out from under his parents and standing on his own two feet before he turned up looking for Nolan again, then I would have had a much stronger bond to his character because I'd have seen what it took for him to get there. But we only see him when he's really struggling for the first part and then we don't see him again until years later in the second part when he's figured out his life and he comes looking for Nolan.

It was just too jarring for me to go from Skyler having a meltdown when Nolan leaves the island to then jumping years ahead to him being sure of himself and settled with his meds and therapy. I needed to go through that work with him I think - that's the only thing I can think of when I'm trying to figure out why I feel so disconnected from his journey!

Nolan made more sense to me because he was pretty much ready to be done with rehab when we first meet him - again, I think if I had seen him struggling to deal when he didn't know where Skyler was for years then I would have been more emotionally invested and connected to their story.

It just felt like there should have been more of when they were apart and taking control of their own lives and not just when they were together for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 25, 2024
Exiled
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I've been hesitant to read this book because of the age-gap trope, but I couldn't stay away from a Jessie Walker book, she has me in a CHOKEHOLD. It's safe to say this book ripped my soul from my body and destroyed it😀. This author writes so beautifully and her books always hurts so good🥲. Can't wait to read whatever she has planned for some of the characters in this book!!

Bonus scene:
STOP😫
Profile Image for Miranda.
272 reviews15 followers
June 17, 2024
June 2024 Re read-Beautifully written, this story will make you smile, swoon, cry, you will hurt but it will be worth it. There are not enough words to describe all the things this book makes me feel. Sky and Nolan will forever have a special place in my heart. This and Not for the fans by Nyla K are my favorite romance books ever.

Feb 2024- I can’t find my words to write a full review but I loved this. LOVED! Storms and all.
August 6, 2024
i have not checked this review for grammar and or spelling mistakes, it's just me rambling and i don't wanna add to an already incredibly long ramble session so don't hate me <3


it's about a week later and i'm still not ready to talk about it but (famous last words) let's do it anyway

this review will contain no spoilers of any importance other than 1 big thing that isn't plot related but it is how the book works, I'll tell y'all beforehand so you can skip over it if you'd like

this review will be all over the place, i almost never write full reviews anymore so please excuse me lol

Plot

man oh man, where to begin.
You meet Nolan and Skylar, both at rehab on an island that's divided between a resort side and a rehab side. Nolan is there because he's an alcoholic who was 5 years sober but had a fall back and got admitted to rehab by his (ex) wife. Skylas isn't really an addict and is there more because his parents made him go. (his whole story will be about this so I'm not gonna say any more lol)
some things happen and they end up having a very temporary relationship together.

SPOILER
SPOILERS OVER


characters

man, I could go on and on about Nolan and Skyler. like any other Jessie Walker book, they're well-rounded and so flawed which makes them feel like real people instead of characters you read in a book. she's incredibly good at writing characters and once again succeeds in Exiled.
As someone who's on the spectrum themselves, Skyler's "problems" hit close to home. Not to say that i deal with the same things, because that's not the case. But the way he internalised every thought and is very direct and rational about certain things is something i can *cough cough* relate to *cough*. The way Jessie dealt with his panic attacks is something I've talked about with friends, how uncanny they are with how accurate they're portrayed. And just like those panic attack, Skyler's "storms" were also really fascinating to experience. you feel his hopelessness, the restraint he's trying to grab but can't reach, the way he feels like he's worthless because nobody has ever made an effort to fucking hug him and comfort him in a way he needed. it's heartbreaking and I'm so glad he eventually (vdxfgjdijgd took a while) found it with Nolan.

as for Nolan, this man could rage a fucking war and i would be behind him without knowing what he's fighting for because i just know he would be behind the right causes lol. I loved the difference time made to his character. he went to very rash and grumpy to very openly compassionate and understanding. not that he was not those things before but they were just buried under a lot of self hate lol. idk man, Jessie just writes characters who are incredibly relatable even though i don't identify with a 32 year old man who's also an alcoholic HA

nah but fr, their problems became mine. their problems made me realise how ignorant not only other people can be but also me. i, as an autistic person myself, still has a lot to learn and I'm already on the right way, don't get me wrong. but books like this just make me realise how much more there's still to learn. luckily i love reading character studies lol

the side characters were also very well done and just as important. i loved the last 30% as you got to know a lot more characters who were not only a support system both of them needed but also such well-rounded people who truly brought something of importance to the setting and the story as well.
also, I'm so surprised i ended up loving Nolan's ex wife lol. never thought i would see the day but here we are!!!



miscellaneous (very out of pocket but I spelled this word immediately correct the first time, look at me go writing fancy words and fancy reviews word vomiting all over the place)

the setting in the first 60/70% were so atmospheric ugh. and for sure as it is a shared world multiple authors wrote in! i don't know how accurate the depiction is as i have not read the rest but I'm excited to check it out eitherway! i loved the setting in the rest of the book as well. it weirdly made sense where Skyler ended up lol. and the forest surrounding the town just fit Nolan so well hahha


The story surrounding Nolan's grief over not being a stable father figure was also very well done. and for sure with the whole circle back with his ex towards the end. it shows that even if we care and even if we love our dear ones sometimes we just fuck up and endanger the other. that's life. we fuck up. doesn't mean we love them any less. it was a very interesting scene, Nolan differentiating between the fact that him drinking was neglect which resulted in his kid almost dying, while his ex made a mistake that was just careless. She forgot. which resulted in their kid almost dying. idk man, my boy has come such a long way *wipes tear*

ALSO i loved the way that Skyler wasn't made out to be unfit to be a parent!!!! i loved the fact that Jessie made him the actual biological father because Nolan didn't want to give their children a change to become an addict (or at least not the part where it's hereditary) and would much rather raise a child with autism. idk man, healthy representation!!! because wowie autism is not a disease! it's not a blessing either but idk man, don't all people hate their brain sometimes? ours just work a bit different and people hate change and things they don't understand. but yeah, this way so cool to read about, and a very nice change of pace tbh.

but anyway, i could probably dissect this, or any Jessie Walker book for that manner, for hours, and i will!!!!!! but not here on GoodReads, lol, yall are not ready for that!!!

these books make me think (and depressed HA) in the best way. i could also not classify ANY book written by Jessie as a romance. don't go into her books thinking you'll be reading a romance, because you won't. she writes character studies with little tidbits of romance sprinkled in there. the books often have no clear plot other than life itself. and idk i think it's such a beautiful way of writing a story. I'm just ready to be taken to any adventure she thinks off, buckling myself in for the ride fr fr


anyway. this book made me ugly cry and I'm ready to read more of them when the time comes! she has done it again and again and I'll trust her with anything at this point.

5/5

--------------
once again a book by jessie walker that hits


as someone who also has a lot of trouble verbally translating thoughts for people to understand, this book hit close to home.

i don’t know man, autobuy author and all of that.

rtc
Profile Image for patrícia.
401 reviews
May 19, 2024
Changing my rating to 4.5 roundup to 5. Read this with more clarity this time and had some precious help from my amazing book buddy Barbara, understanding some of the things that originally made me doubt the epilogue.

So these babies are everything and this rereading made me fall in love even more with them and specially Nolan who I think is such a incredible human, father, husband and friend. I maintain my previous thoughts about Skyler, that such a precious man should be protected at all costs!

“Wrong or right—messy that it is—I know as well as she does that we wouldn’t trade a single, goddamn second of what led us here.
Because we’re here.
All of us.
Happy and whole.
No longer exiled…
But loved.”
—————————————

This love pulverised me, was an almost perfect storm!

It would be a 5-star read for me without the epilogue.

I loved the story of Skylar and Nolan, their baggage, and the way in which, together, they overcame almost every storm. I adored how they loved and discovered each other, how they melted into each other and adapted physically and psychologically, and how they overcame their own fears to be the best version of themselves. Their time on the island is surreal. The way they give themselves to something that would have been just an escape but ended up being much, much more... The discovery of their bodies and that attraction have nothing to do with gender but, yes, with the person...they managed to deal with their fears, the age difference that is the biggest obstacle in this relationship. There is no fault in this for either of them. They were both in a complex situation with no easy resolution. .. Nolan uses this age difference to justify his decision to leave Skyler, and Skyler takes it and transforms into the most beautiful, independent adult. 

The sex scenes... Some notes:
*FUCKING HOT
*DIRTY TALK
*PRIMAL TARZAN
*STRAWBERRIES
*CAVES
*POSSESSIVE
*FIRST TIMES
*ENDLESS SHOWERS

I thought the separation would kill me, but no... It was well written, well justified, and allowed the reunion to be explosive, emotional, and beautiful. Skyler must be protected at all costs, and his parents must be... I don't even know... human scum... I always want to say at the end of readings like this that this is fiction and that people like that don't exist.

I really love the way Nolan manages to bring Skyler back to reality and how he helps him control the storm. They are beautiful, sweet, intimate scenes of unconditional love.

They fought and deserve their HEA in the cabin in the woods, with a lake and a dock...

But the ending made me mad, and I felt that all the balance in the relationship they tried to build throughout the book was destroyed.
I felt that all the clichés in the world were thrown into this epilogue and that it was unrealistic in relation to Skylar's needs and responsibilities that, at only 26 years old, there is still so much adaptation to make to a life together with new friends, new routines, graduation, and new medicines. And, even with all of this, we also get a baby "thrown" in here—whose surrogate mother is Nolan's ex-wife? Mind fuck.... 

Apart from this, they are happy and living one day at a time with all their friends and family! With challenges, but with a complicity that fills the heart and the soul!

Again *PROTECT SKYLAR AT ALL COSTS*
Nolan's letters.....🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

I received a free copy of this book via Indie Author Creative and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Profile Image for Jamie.
646 reviews107 followers
January 19, 2024
So glad I decided to try a new author, I ended up really liking this book & the author's writing style. I really liked the story and thought the setting of a rehab/mental health resort was really interesting and I'm really interested to read more books in the series, maybe try some more new to me authors. The author mentioned in the afterward two connected books she is working on and I really can't wait to read those. While I did really enjoy this book, one thing I hate is Other than that, a very overall enjoyable book.
Profile Image for Tea [semi-hiatus].
132 reviews61 followers
February 16, 2024
Re-Read - January 2024:

We’re just two lost souls, trapped in this hell masquerading as paradise, banished from the outside world, looking for a way out. Never have I so badly wanted to hug fictional characters before.

He doesn’t know me. They don’t know me. No one does. I survived death, and I can survive this too. No one has ever cared about Skyler, all they’ve ever cared about is fixing him, making him ”normal”.

Only weeks after Skyler turned 18, his rich-asshole-parents manage to get guardianship over him and sends him to Black Diamond. If they can’t fix him there, he’ll be sent away to a long-term care facility forever.

Nolan thinking he no longer have issues with alcohol messes up big time, putting his 2 year old daughter in possible danger. And now he would do anything asked of him to get back into his daughters life.

Nolan and Skyler do not get along straight away. Just like everyone else, Nolan thinks he’s got Skyler all figured out. But it doesn’t take long for him to realize just how wrong he was.

Just once I wish someone would see me for me, beyond all my issues. Beyond my age. I just want someone to take me seriously.

They become friends, and after a while of Nolan struggling with Skyler’s age, they become friends with benefits. What happens on the island stays on the island…. at least that’s how it was supposed to go.

”It’s like magic,” he murmurs. “You touch me, and it all quiets. You hold me, and it all stops.”

He left me…just like everyone does. “Why does no one ever want to keep me?”


I loved Skyler so much. While I could not relate to everything he’s been through, I could relate to some of it and my heart hurt for him. He deserves everything good in life. I didn’t know how to feel about Nolan in the beginning. Someone very close to me have an alcoholic father and he also fucked up big time. What differentiates them is that Nolan felt extremely guilty about what he did and could not trust himself with his daughter later on. Nolan grew on me, I really liked him further in.

The chemistry and the spice was perfection.
He brings out the animal in me, and I bring out the sweet, submissive good boy in him.

Forget the ocean—let me drown in him. Engrave me in his bones. Bury me in his veins. Let me die as I lived—as his.

Nolan struggled a lot with Skyler’s age, even later on in the book when Skyler is 21. I get it to a certain degree but as they established earlier on, ”daddy” is a no go. Just a bit too much of ”I feel like a preditor” and ”He’s a kid”. But I do think it was the right choice for them not to enter a relationship earlier than they did. Skyler needed to grow as a person and learn how to fight for and take care of himself first.

One thing I did not appreciate at all was how the author insinuated that not being normal is a bad thing. And what even is ”normal”? I am just like Skyler, autistic. I don’t see myself as normal. My brain works differently from most so I’m not the norm. I did for a long time wish I was ”normal” and still do sometimes, but I’m not and that is not supposed to be seen as a bad thing. Not being normal is just as good as being ”normal” and there are many types of ”not normal”. None of them are bad. This is only my take on the topic, if you have a different opinion, that’s totally fine.

- Age gap
- Angst
- Autism & addiction rep
- Bi-awakening
- Forced proximity
- Hurt/Comfort
- No kissing allowed
- Praise kink
- Strict top/bottom
- Trauma(past)
- Virgin mc

I don’t belive in soulmates, but Sky & Nol are definitely soulmates.

Read - October 2023:

4.75 stars
Profile Image for Whitney.
82 reviews36 followers
July 17, 2024
"A love like ours. It's the kind you die for. The kind you die with. The kind that... Well, hell, makes me believe there's a place for us in the afterlife, a place where we can still be together, for all of eternity."


Ugh this book is just so beautiful!! So good!!



***Potential spoilers below in tropes and triggers






My only complaint is the 3 year gap thrown in the middle along with miscommunication. I didn't feel like the jump had to be that long and the miscommunication was so unnecessary.

Tropes:
Age gap
Bi awakening
Hurt/comfort
Autistic MC
Single dad
No kissing rule
Forced proximity

TWs:
Addiction
Abusive parents
Miscommunication


P.S. Don't miss the bonus chapter that you can get on the authors website!
Profile Image for Readingforfun.
411 reviews31 followers
August 27, 2023
As I have come to expect from jessie, you get completely engulfed in the intense and extreme internal battles of her characters which you feel down to your bone. Nolan and Skyler were no exception. Its a very deep and at some points difficult read as you know you have to be patient for that HEA outcome.
Another great addition to this series.
Profile Image for K.
140 reviews165 followers
Read
January 25, 2024
To this day, I can't explain how you crawled your way under my skin. It shouldn't've happened, but it did.
It did
, and nothing short of you physically ripping my heart out would remove you.
Profile Image for Devin.
97 reviews29 followers
September 8, 2023
Another character added to my list of characters I will protect at all costs. Sky deserves the world.

This book is perfection. Sky and Nolan are perfection… the angst, the love, the emotion. These two are soulmates. I will never recover.
Profile Image for ☆ cal’s spooky szn ☆.
642 reviews256 followers
April 11, 2024
This book is not for me. The age gap gave me the ick. Imagine a full grown ass man having a sexual relationship with a boy who just turned 18 a few days when they met. I know I know I am far from being the epitome of goodness cause I read and loved a lot of fucked up shit. But this one just gave me the shivers. Thats a boy in my eyes. I would be definitely singing a different tune if this book was marketed as a full blown taboo romance tho.
Profile Image for Nelly S. (on semi-hiatus).
588 reviews142 followers
December 26, 2023
”He pulls back, swiping his thumbs over my cheeks, cupping my face so gently, it’s like he’s afraid if he changes the pressure even the slightest bit, I’ll shatter, and his gentle touch is the only thing keeping me together now that he’s finally broken me.
Like he was always going to break me.
I knew it. He knew it.
And yet we risked it all anyway.”



”I’ve missed being held hostage by his all-consuming attention. It makes me blind to any and everything but him. His gaze. His scent. His big, looming body standing guard, right where I need him to be. There to swoop in and save the day… save me from myself…
Maybe it’s wrong, to crave to be possessed as much as I crave to be possessed by him.
But if it is…
Then I don’t want to be right.”



”I realize there was never any choice.
I’m keeping this boy. This man. My hurricane.
For as long as he’ll have me, I’ll keep him.”



Profile Image for V.
249 reviews8 followers
November 21, 2023
4.5 stars, rounded. This was my first Jessie Walker book, and I regret not reading it sooner. Holy shit, this was amazing—like genuinely incredible. The writing style, plot, characters, angst, romance, etc. were simply phenomenal. This might be one of my new favorite MM books because I just can’t get over how fucking heart-wrenching Sky and Nolan were. It’s crazy that Skyler’s name means scholar when it feels as if it should represent something that fits him better: lightning. Like c’mon now, sky? Lightning? It’s PERFECT. And speaking of perfect, their love was perfect to me—in terms of how well-written it was at least. Obviously, they had a few toxic moments, and the age gap would be concerning IRL, but idgaf…it was portrayed so well here. It had me tearing up and aching to my damn bones from how emotional it was.

I love angst in books, just as much as I love fluff. This book was ANSGTY all the way through, yet it never failed to show a few fluffy, sweet moments. The way they met, connected, diverged, and then reunited had my heart in a clutch. I will probably never forget Sky and Nolan. I think they’re wonderful just the way they are, especially Skyler. He was so tragic but strong, and I loved him so much. Jessie Walker is a really talented author, so I’ll definitely have to check more of her books out.

Mountains and all. Storms and all. 🌪️⚡️🩶

Sidenote: also, Nolan calls Sky both “sweetheart” and “baby”! Like hello? That’s what I’m talking about.
Profile Image for beeisreadingromance.
352 reviews35 followers
August 29, 2023
Exiled is the first book I have read by Jessie Walker and it most definitely will not be my last.
This is one of the best books I've ever read, it hooked me immediately and I was desperate to finish it but also didn't want it to end.
I didn't fully know what to expect - especially as this is such a long book! I was scared going to be honest, but I am SO glad I read this.
Exiled is Nolan and Skyler. Nolan is a recovering alcoholic sent to Black Diamond after an incident with his daughter, and Skyler is sent to Black Diamond by his abusive neglecting parents.
Nolan and Skyler... were beautiful. I have such strong feelings for both of them, and I felt so much for Skyler and related so much to a lot of what he was feeling and how he was coping. It felt so much like how I process so it was a hard read but also calming almost.
This has a lot of dark to it, a lot of triggers in here, please check them over to ensure this is for you, I think this will be the darkest of all the series.
The HEA was hard fought and PERFECT. I loved this so much.
This book is going to stay with me forever, I want to reread it already even though I struggled with how long it is 😂
This was also spicy spicy spicy!

I received a free copy of this book via Indie Author Creative and am voluntarily leaving a review.
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