**spoiler alert** While reading this, at times it was hard to remind myself this book was written and published in the early 70's. It definitely stand**spoiler alert** While reading this, at times it was hard to remind myself this book was written and published in the early 70's. It definitely stands the test of time, it could have been written and published recently instead of decades ago. What I hadn't expected was that the sex scenes between Harlan and Billy often were described vividly. Not in all detail, but with enough use of language and words that there was no doubt in what was happening. It wasn't the fade to black or off page sex I had expected. Maybe that's why this was such a groundbreaking book - it calls the things by its name, which I doubt was a common thing in those days.
This is one of those books I regret not having read sooner, as it leaves a lasting imprint in my mind. It's not just the story itself, it's also the superb writing, the unforgettable characters, that ending. Lots of readers complain - and a lot of times I understand, but also many times I don't - about how the gays never get a happily ever after in books written before the 21st century. But imagine the life they were leading back in these days. And this book is a truthful reminder of how gay people had to live their lives, most of the time in hiding, secretly loving their partners, but not able to show the world, to talk about it, to be open about it. Most of the time they were rejected by society, by everyone surrounding them, even their families, their friends. The hatred they would receive if they dared to be open about their sexuality. And even in this century, in this period of time, for a lot of gay people this is still their daily life. And even if we have come a long way since the publishing of this book, there is still a lot of work to do. When will society ever not care about someone's sexuality? What is it about it that people can't seem to accept? I mean, straight people might do the strangest things in their bedroom (which they have every right to do) but nobody cares. A vanilla kind of gay gets shunned and receives hatred because he or she happens to like their same sex. I just don't get it, not even when being a cis woman myself. But I did have a deeply closeted gay father and I know what it did to him and to us as a family. And as a daughter and a mother, I try to pass on to my own children to be open minded at all times and to accept people for who they are, and that their sexuality is not something to care about. Besides, 2 of my daughters are bi-sexual, and even though they currently are in a man-woman relationship (while having had girlfriends before), that doesn't mean they are still not part of the LGBTQI+ community and I support them how, whenever and wherever I can.
This book also doesn't end on a happy note. On the contrary. I hadn't seen this one coming, even though the author had included so many hints here and there that I could hardly have missed them. But I had. I thought this book was finally showing the hatred wouldn't win, despite the threats Billy and Harlan had received after coming out. But then it did and it's part of the reason I can't possibly forget about this book. I was heartbroken after finishing it. ...more
Florian stayed silent, just a gentle squeeze of his fingers at my waist told he understood. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes."
I know where I will b
Florian stayed silent, just a gentle squeeze of his fingers at my waist told he understood. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes."
I know where I will be spending my summer this year: Île de Ré, a small island off the French coast where this story takes place. Unfortunately I won't be coming across Florian, because he's all made up by Fearne Hill, but the idyllic descriptions of this island tempt me to pick this destination for my summer holidays.
This book tells the beautiful, heartfelt story of Florian and Charles. Charles has come to the island to find some peace and quiet after his mother's passing and his declining mental health. He's rented a house and is mostly keeping to himself until he encounters Florian's lost grandfather, who is suffering from the early stages of dementia. Despite their age difference, Florian and Charles immediately find a connection and attraction towards each other. They first become friends before anything else, Florian showing Charles about his profession as one of the last independent salt workers. It's clear Florian takes pride in what he does and owns! Charles's mental health is fragile, though, and what he and Florian have is nothing more than a summer fling. Or is it? When Charles's stressful job comes back in the form of his work partner (and former best friend) and he has to return to London, his mind is not in a right place yet, and once he is back to his old life, things go downhill very fast.
I really loved this new book by Fearne Hill. I love how she handles heavy topics. As she says herself, always with a light touch, and she does. Charles's mental health is very prominent in this story - it's threatening and disturbing. I loved how Florian wanted to be there for Charles, how he, despite his young age, tried to help him. But whatever he wanted to be or do, Charles's disturbing mind was too strong for them to fight. I wondered how he would ever heal enough for them to stand a chance, but this is a romance and so of course the happy ever after is there. It's one very hard fought for and very well deserved.
As always, Fearne's writing is with a light touch but still trigger warnings are in place because the subject of Charles's mental health is a heavy one, and as I mentioned before, very prominent. Florian was such a delight, he was a beautiful character with a soft, loving and caring soul. I loved how his grandfather's mental state played an important role next to Charles's and how there were some similarities too. This was a delightful read, one I truly enjoyed reading, despite the heaviness of it. Yes, it was heartbreaking at times, but knowing things were going to be okay made it more bearable. I've reached a point where Fearne Hill can hardly do any wrong with her books. I have enjoyed every single one of them so far, and they always end up on my list of best books I read in a year. I don't think this year will be any different!
I kindly received an arc from gaybookpromotions and this is my own, unbiased and honest opinion
Merged review:
Florian stayed silent, just a gentle squeeze of his fingers at my waist told he understood. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes."
I know where I will be spending my summer this year: Île de Ré, a small island off the French coast where this story takes place. Unfortunately I won't be coming across Florian, because he's all made up by Fearne Hill, but the idyllic descriptions of this island tempt me to pick this destination for my summer holidays.
This book tells the beautiful, heartfelt story of Florian and Charles. Charles has come to the island to find some peace and quiet after his mother's passing and his declining mental health. He's rented a house and is mostly keeping to himself until he encounters Florian's lost grandfather, who is suffering from the early stages of dementia. Despite their age difference, Florian and Charles immediately find a connection and attraction towards each other. They first become friends before anything else, Florian showing Charles about his profession as one of the last independent salt workers. It's clear Florian takes pride in what he does and owns! Charles's mental health is fragile, though, and what he and Florian have is nothing more than a summer fling. Or is it? When Charles's stressful job comes back in the form of his work partner (and former best friend) and he has to return to London, his mind is not in a right place yet, and once he is back to his old life, things go downhill very fast.
I really loved this new book by Fearne Hill. I love how she handles heavy topics. As she says herself, always with a light touch, and she does. Charles's mental health is very prominent in this story - it's threatening and disturbing. I loved how Florian wanted to be there for Charles, how he, despite his young age, tried to help him. But whatever he wanted to be or do, Charles's disturbing mind was too strong for them to fight. I wondered how he would ever heal enough for them to stand a chance, but this is a romance and so of course the happy ever after is there. It's one very hard fought for and very well deserved.
As always, Fearne's writing is with a light touch but still trigger warnings are in place because the subject of Charles's mental health is a heavy one, and as I mentioned before, very prominent. Florian was such a delight, he was a beautiful character with a soft, loving and caring soul. I loved how his grandfather's mental state played an important role next to Charles's and how there were some similarities too. This was a delightful read, one I truly enjoyed reading, despite the heaviness of it. Yes, it was heartbreaking at times, but knowing things were going to be okay made it more bearable. I've reached a point where Fearne Hill can hardly do any wrong with her books. I have enjoyed every single one of them so far, and they always end up on my list of best books I read in a year. I don't think this year will be any different!
I kindly received an arc from gaybookpromotions and this is my own, unbiased and honest opinion
This book made me smile and laugh out loud, it made me feel warm and fuzzy and it made me tear up. What more can I ask for in a book?! I highlighted aThis book made me smile and laugh out loud, it made me feel warm and fuzzy and it made me tear up. What more can I ask for in a book?! I highlighted almost the entire book and I can’t seem to stop wanting to share all the amazing quotes it hides inside. For now I will just hide away and embrace all these feelings I am feeling right now.
So, yes, I guess I owe a review for some time now. I just finished the audio, however, so I thought it was about time I would try to find the words to describe how I feel about this book. Which is A LOT! First of all, the audio was okay-ish I guess. I wasn't sure the narration of Joel Leslie would work for me, but I desperately wanted to re-read and since my time was limited, the audio seemed the right solution. It was just okay. The story itself? I might love it even more after reading it again. There's so much I want to say about how much I love it, but I don't think I am able to find the right words to explain it properly. I only wished for another narrator. Joel Leslie and I used to go well, but lately we don't gel that well anymore. I don't like the way he portrays women, he makes them all sound like they are well in their 80's when most of them are young and vivid. Here I also didn't like how he made Andy and Nick sound like they came from the British countryside instead of them living in Brooklyn, NYC. Even when Andy comes from a money background, he should not sound like this. With one of the characters named Nick Russo, I really would have loved for this book to be narrated by Nick J. Russo. That would have been something! And besides that, Nick J. Russo is fast becoming one of my favorite narrators - he performs a book instead of just reading it. But alas, that didn't happen and so I had to endure Joel Leslie in my ears instead. It wasn't really bad, but if this book hadn't been on my Best Of The Year list, I might not have finished listening to it.
Now on to Nick's and Andy's story. There's something about Cat Sebastian's writing that I really love. I love how she subtly includes historical facts about living in NYC in that particular era without overloading her readers with everything she knows and learned through research. It all feels so natural, as if she went back in time herself and tells everything from her own experience.
So what wasn't to love about this beautiful, sweet, charming, heartwarming and heartbreaking book? There were funny times, there was a lot of love between friends and new found friends, between family. Between Nick and Andy. Nick is a city reporter who works for the newspaper Andy is going to inherit from his father. From the moment they meet, Nick is smitten with him. And so was I. I loved how clumsy Andy could be, it added so much to the sweetness of his character. I loved how naive he was at the beginning, and how he learned throughout the book. About himself, about city life, about Nick and riding subways. Mostly about himself. When his fiancée breaks up with him, it slowly occurs to him he isn't as devastated about it as he expected to be. And that's all because of Nick, who offers him a place to stay and who takes care of him like a real friend. From there on it gets harder for Nick to hide his real feelings for Andy. But with them being so close to each other every day, both at work and at home, Andy also finds himself attracted to Nick in a way he never even considered possible. Their lives intertwine more and more without them even really planning to, and it was another reason to love this book so much.
I loved the slow burn, loved how their relationship developed. A tender, caring friendship that eventually evolves into more than that. I loved how we got peaks into their lives. About Nick's family and his fear for finding out he's queer. About Andy, who lost his mother and who still needs to clean out her apartment. Andy, who is expected to run the newspaper after his father steps back and it scares him to death because he is sure he won't be up to the task.
I loved every minute, every second I spent with these guys. Cat Sebastian did such an exquisite job to write their romance set at the end of the fifties, the language she used to describe the city and society at that time transported me right then and there. Many emotions barreled through me while reading - I laughed and cried, and felt like I was wrapped in a comfy blanket all around. I loved this so much, I'm afraid it takes a proper word juggler to describe exactly what it did to me. Highly, highly recommended (the book, not the audio unfortunately).
He doesn't know when it happened, but he doesn't feel panicky anymore when he thinks about how Mark and Lilian know about him. Now he doesn't feel exposed so much as oddly and unexpectedly warm, like he downed a cup of hot cocoa or put on a pair of mittens. It's sort of how he felt as a little kid, when everywhere he looked there was an aunt or a cousin. Maybe this is what it's like, having friends, real friends, friends who know him. It's - well, it's a bit much, sometimes, and he's blaming Andy for all of it. ...more
So, I had to think some about this book before I wrote my review. I decided to change my rating from 4 to 3 and I'll tell you w3,5 stars rounded down.
So, I had to think some about this book before I wrote my review. I decided to change my rating from 4 to 3 and I'll tell you why.
At first, I really thought I was reading a book with a potential 5 star rating. It was engaging, it was pulling me in from the beginning. It was quite clear from the first pages that both Luca and Danny were damaged kids, both for different reasons, but damaged they were. They don't start off very well, but they're sort of forced upon each other, relying on one another for, again, different reasons. A lot of things happen - it's a cruel world when you have to live on the streets in Chicago, and when all you try to do is survive. That's how Luca's entire world looks like. Danny comes from a different world - his dad is a rich politician who just doesn't seem to care about his son ever since he showed 'unnatural' behavior. But since his mother passed away, his father is about the only adult around whom he can turn to.
An unexpected friendship develops between Danny and Luca, a bond that's getting stronger during the night when they are faced with difficult and dangerous situations, up to a point that both realize they might have deeper feelings for the other.
That's where my potential 5 star read went a bit off the rails. I don't like insta love, it's by far my least enjoyed trope, and this felt a bit too much like it. Even after having been through a lot of emotional turmoil together, I'm convinced you can feel some sort of attraction and feel some sort of deeper connection, but love? No, not buying that. Certainly not when you know these boys are aged 17 and 16.
I had some issues with the plot as well, and that's one of the reasons I decided to round down instead of up. Because the writing is good and strong, there's the character development I need when I read a YA/NA romance. But the plot wasn't all that strong. Lots of questioning things happening and I mean, it's fiction, I usually look past that, but still it needs some sort of real life connection, some reality. And I found myself more and more thinking that some things that happened lacked reality. And I didn't like that. The ending wasn't what I hoped for either and it felt rushed. Such a bummer, because this book really started off well and promising.
Still 3 stars for the writing, for the character development and for Luca and Danny, whom I did like as main characters.
I kindly received an advanced readers copy through Netgalley and this is my unbiased, honest review...more
So I've been owing a review for this beautiful book for a while now, but I decided to wait until I listened to the audThis book is my new happy place.
So I've been owing a review for this beautiful book for a while now, but I decided to wait until I listened to the audio and boy...if it would be possible, I'd say that one is even better. Lee Osorio and Max Meyers were wonderfully cast in this story of two teenage guys finding their way to each other and the path in life they are meant to take.
Why is it so hard to write a review about a book that has made me so happy while reading? A book I certainly can't stop thinking about, featuring two of the most adorable, real and lovable characters I can't forget about? What is it that made me love this book so much? That made me resonate? Certainly one of the things is the out of this world writing. This is a debut book, guys! How is that even possible?! It's on my top list of books I loved the most this past year, and listening to the audio confirmed I'm still in awe over this. The second thing are the characters. So fleshed out, so real. So acting like teenagers their age do. Their troubles, their wishes, their insecurities about how their future would unfold. The choices they had to make. Wanting to belong, needing to be accepted for who they were. But who were they, really? Bash has all these masks, all this tricks depending on the people he is with. He is different every time, so who is he? Sandro comes from a loud Italian family who never notices if he's around or not. He's great when things need to be taken care of, but for the rest? When he needs them, they are not there for him. Not even his mom. I felt so much for this guy, he was the sweetest and nobody really saw him for the guy he really was. No one except Bash. The friendship these two develop seems very unlikely, but when they get to know each other, they realize they are not that different. I loved how they could talk about everything, how they understood, how they opened up and how Sandro managed to peel off all these layers Bash was hiding underneath. These guys might be the sweetest, best pair of guys I have come across in books this past year. I was rooting so hard for them!
It doesn't end with a hea, but isn't that a bit realistic, seeing they were only 17/18 years old and going off to different colleges? But it did end on a very hopeful note, and I'd like to think that they will find a way to do the long distance thing, because these guys BELONG! The character growth this author manages to put them through in this story is amazing. They both are different people from when the story started and it all happens so naturally, so organically, it absolutely felt very real. I've got nothing but love for this book and I know I will be re-reading because like I said: this book is my happy place, and it's the best place to be....more
This is one of those book I have really been waiting for. Due to personal circumstances of the author, its release was almost a year overdue, but I neThis is one of those book I have really been waiting for. Due to personal circumstances of the author, its release was almost a year overdue, but I never lost faith that it would be released eventually. This series has established itself as a favorite. The ruggedness of these men, the cowboys, the rodeoriders, the circumstances under which they do their jobs, and above all, there's also second chance romance. This series finally made me see how much I love that trope!
So, this is the 4th book in the series and it's about Michael ('Whit') and West. Both characters have been present in the previous books, but this book can be perfectly read as a stand alone, even though some characters from said previous books are present too. All I want to say is that it's not necessary to have read this series in order, but I would highly recommend reading the other books. Let's get back to Michael and West. There's quite an age gap between those two men, who have been friends ever since Michael came to live in town and started ranching. Michael was married back then, he had a daughter too. But that didn't keep West from pining after the man who easily became his best friend. Now it's a few years later and Michael has widowed. He is the kind of man who's very protective of the ones he loves, and one of them is West. I loved how easily he accepted that what he felt for West turned into a deep affection, turning into an even deeper love. But West has some secrets he is not willing, nor prepared, to share. Not even with Michael. Or maybe specially not with Michael. Always having been the weak, needy child he desperately feels the need to show everyone that he can stand his own, that he doesn't need everyone to come running when something is going on. He's capable of doing what needs to be done. And like his father in his older days, rodeo is having one undeniable pull at him. But if people knew he was riding, they would simply forbid him to. So keeping it a secret is the only choice he has.
I understood both men - after Michael lost his wife by an accident with a horse, I understood how he was scared to lose another person he loved. I understood how he wanted to protect West at all costs. He didn't mean to be suffocating, or controlling. It was his fear speaking. West was something different. All his life he had to deal with something life threatening. But he was a survivor, he proofed that much. Still didn't mean he wasn't vulnerable and invincible, like everyone is. And I think he lost a little sight of that while proofing to everyone he could be like everybody else. Because he could not be an ostrich and put his face down, pretending he didn't barely survive as a young child, pretending he had every right to put his life in danger. I think he was wrong there. He forgot about the genuine fear he put the people who loved him through. They didn't want him to keep from living his life, they just wanted him safe. And being reckless meant they couldn't trust him to keep himself safe. He didn't go to the doctor's appointments on a regular base, didn't take the medication he needed to take. There's a difference between wanting to lead a normal life and being reckless. I thought West was a bit too reckless. But I did love these two men together. I would have loved to see a little more heated scenes between these men, because Michael had potential to be a very bossy top! The love between them ran deep, though, and I really wanted to slap West when he hurt Michael by making the wrong choices. Because, how could he?! How could he put the things he wanted before the man he had loved almost all of his life, the man who finally noticed him, who loved him back just as fiercely?! I really didn't understand how he could do that. So, yes, someone needed to slap some sense in him right there and then! Nothing was worth losing the man he loved, hurting him while he promised he wouldn't ever do so. I was happy to see West's blank mind came back on line in time to find his happy ever after with Michael. Because it was what both men deserved. I loved the epilogue, it was something this book really needed!
Now I can't help but look forward to the next book again. That promises to be something else!
I kindly received a complementary copy by the author and this is my honest, unbiased review ...more
Well, this book was on my shelves for a little while now, and now I regret not reading it sooner. I should have known, because I love N.R. Walkers stoWell, this book was on my shelves for a little while now, and now I regret not reading it sooner. I should have known, because I love N.R. Walkers stories. She just knows how to write a sweet romance, how to make her characters come to life so you, as a reader, are able to feel everything they feel. She is able to draw you in right from the first page and she does that with every story she writes and that I have read so far. She is truly one of my most favorite writers!
She also knows how to write hot, hot scenes!! OMG...no exception here! And just when you start to think the hot scenes have turned into off-the-page-sex when lust turns to love (as so often happens) she comes with a big bang surprise in the last chapter. That scene makes your temperature rise...I recommend to have a fan nearby so you can cool yourself down a bit ;-)
Another highly recommended N.R. Walker read. ...more
NicoleR.M.M.
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