I need to sit and think about my rating for a moment.
I decided on 4 stars, but with a side note that it feels more like a 3,5. The writing wasn’t the I need to sit and think about my rating for a moment.
I decided on 4 stars, but with a side note that it feels more like a 3,5. The writing wasn’t the point, because it’s Suki Fleet and their lyrical writing always works for me. It was Gregory’s character that made it so difficult to decide on my rating. I’m not sure if I will be able to explain properly what bothered me, because I don’t want to sound judgmental or anything. Like, at all.
I have been diagnosed with autism myself and Suki pointed out perfectly that no neurodivergent persons are the same. And I agree with that wholeheartedly. It’s a spectrum and that should be all the explanation it needs. I’m also aware that autism differs greatly from whether the person who’s diagnosed is male or female, since the coping mechanisms are often very different. In their foreword they also mention that this book is not about autism, it’s about Gregory figuring himself out. And that’s probably why we, as a reader, spend so much time in his head, hearing his inner dialogue, his fears, his coping skills, the way he acts in certain situations. But it’s still a fact that Gregory has been diagnosed with autism, it’s not something you can forget about while reading this book. It’s a very important part of who he is and it dictates his behaviour all the time. You can’t ignore the autism aspect in this story. Though I do see some familiarities when reading Gregory’s character, it was impossible for me to get a good sense of his age, to feel if he behaved according to the teenager he was. He sounded way younger than his 15 years and that made it exhausting to be in his head for so long. I was looking forward to Noah’s pov most of the time because he gave me the break I really needed. And maybe that’s my own autism standing in the way of being able to fully empathise with Gregory as a character, I’m just guessing here, but most of the time his inner voice was just too much. But I did love their building relationship and how both were able to open up to each other and let the other one in. I liked the side characters and the premise of the story too, just not the amount of time I had to spend inside Gregory’s mind.
I kindly received an arc from the author and this is my honest, unbiased opinion...more
At this moment I can hardly think of an author who writes best friends to lovers better than Emmy Sanders does. She turns this trope into something veAt this moment I can hardly think of an author who writes best friends to lovers better than Emmy Sanders does. She turns this trope into something very special, including all the feelings that come with it - the deep felt friendship, the fear of losing your best friend, the pining, the grovelling and at last, the first hesitant kiss and the best sex they ever had. All this finds its place in her latest romance, the story of Lucky and Ellis.
From the moment Lucky moves into the house next door, Ellis feels a connection with the boy his own age, he hasn’t felt with anyone before. Being neurodivergent and a selective mutant, he doesn’t have a lot of friends or people who understand him. But Lucky does, and they soon become inseparable. But Lucky is an adventurer, he has an urge to see the world outside their small town in Nebraska, where he finds himself imprisoned by all the corn that surrounds them and the boring daily life. Ellis encourages him to go, despite his feelings for Lucky. He wouldn’t want to be the one to hold him back, to prevent him from chasing his dreams. So Lucky leaves to become a photographer for National Geographic.
Ellis is this beautiful, tender soul, one who goes through life in a world of his own, a world only his mother and Lucky understand. I loved how both never needed much to get what Ellis tried to tell. He doesn’t say much, but when he does, the most beautiful words come out of his mouth. He used his words to write beautiful emails to Lucky, mails he never sends because he’s afraid of losing his friend if he were to find out about Ellis’s real feelings. But that’s a realisation that has come to Lucky himself as well, and when they finally are able to allow the other one to see, the world is theirs.
Being neurodivergent myself, I find it interesting to read story’s where one of the mc’s is on the spectrum. But as Lucky’s mother points out so beautifully, no neurodivergent person is the same as another. It’s a different wired brain that works differently for everyone. But it’s always nice to recognise something of it in others. Some sort of weird validation. Emmy did well, creating Ellis. I felt a connection too.
This is well written story with a lot of feelings and wonderful characters. It didn’t blow me away like I expected, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a beautiful story. And if friends to lovers is a trope you appreciate, then I’m sure this book is right for you, because, like I said, Emmy writes them in the best way. ...more
This book is the third in the series about several Cabot family members - Daniel is Tommy Cabot’s son - and it’s set in the early seventies. Daniel liThis book is the third in the series about several Cabot family members - Daniel is Tommy Cabot’s son - and it’s set in the early seventies. Daniel lives in New York, estranged from the Cabot family, except for his parents and his eccentric, dreadful grandmother, whom he visits every now and then. He doesn’t really know what to do with his life, what is the purpose of his life in general. He does cherish his friendship with Alex, an immigrant doctor from the Ukraine, for whom he develops deeper feelings. And he does enjoy turning vacant lots into greenery’s.
For me, there was a lot to love about this book. Daniel is a music journalist as well, though it’s a free lance job. I loved that part of the story, though it’s not huge. I also love New York and I love the 70’s and the vibe of that era, and it’s s so well captured by Cat Sebastian. But that’s something I’m getting to expect from her books. Whether she writes about a regency period, the fifties or the sixties, she always manages to get the feeling of the era perfectly. Another thing I absolutely loved was how she created Alex’s character. Without diagnoses available at that time, it is clear he is neurodivergent (which she states too) and that he is on the autism spectrum. As a person who has had this diagnosis myself, I felt very seen. So okay, in one of the reviews I read that the reviewer felt like Alex was written as a very typical autistic person, with very stereotypical traits, surrounded by stereotypical characters who accept his ‘weirdness’ and ‘social awkwardness’ where other people probably just find him weird and eccentric. And sure, everyone is allowed their own meaning, I respect that. But I feel like I HAVE to disagree. I FELT SEEN! So many of Alex’s traits were ones I recognised, so many of his reactions and much of his behaviour felt so awfully familiar that it sometimes even made me emotional. I even told my husband about how I was reading a book with an mc that made me feel validated. And yes, I get that many authors who write autistic characters seem to have some sort of list with autistic traits at hand and use them as their mc’s character traits. But what Cat Sebastian did, was write a character that felt real, a character who acted in certain ways without continuously making clear how different he acted because of his autism. I don’t know if I’m explaining this right, but what I mean is that it felt natural. This is who Alex is, without a diagnosis, because that wasn’t available yet, but this is him, Alex. A person who finds it difficult to live in a neurotypical world. A person who needs to be on his own for a while when he has been overstimulated and feels guilty about it towards his friend. A person who tries to avoid places with too many people because it’s too exhausting and he can’t deal with them. I never felt more represented in a book. And that is why this book has to be on my all time favorites shelf.
But enough about that, even though it’s an important part of this story. There’s not much angst here, just a slow developing love story between two best friends. I loved how they grew in that friendship, how they both gave each other space when they needed it. How they understood what the other needed. I was rooting so hard for Alex and Daniel and I loved the way Cat Sebastian wrote their happy ever after. It suited them perfectly....more
No rating yet, I will need some time to figure it out. I could relate to David so much, everything he did, every thought he had, his fears, his inabilNo rating yet, I will need some time to figure it out. I could relate to David so much, everything he did, every thought he had, his fears, his inability to socialise, to read between the lines, to find safety and security when someone loves you, or wants to be with you. Because why, of all the options there are, would someone want to be with YOU, since you just know you are DIFFERENT and DIFFICULT. But I do have a hard time seeing the reasons that Jake wants to be with David, and that’s maybe because we don’t get his pov. Jake has the patience of a saint, he puts so much effort in to make things work, and to the outsider it seems like David doesn’t. But being neurodivergent, I just know how this relationship puts David’s world upside down, how much effort it takes for him to commit. But if you wouldn’t happen to be on that spectrum yourself, I can imagine it would be hard to see all that effort as it is not clear from just reading the story. Does that make sense anyway?
But so here I am, contemplating between 4 or 5 stars. I guess for now it depends on how long after finishing i still think about David and Jake. ...more
Before I say anything else: I'm diagnosed with autism myself, so maybe that's important to keep in mind when you read my review. I know what it is to Before I say anything else: I'm diagnosed with autism myself, so maybe that's important to keep in mind when you read my review. I know what it is to be autistic, I also know, like with non-neurodivergent people, no autistic person is the same.
I had a difficult time rating this book. It feels more like a 3,5 star read than 4, but I rounded up because of how real this book feels, how well the author does the autistic and the clinical depressed representation. I also thought they did a great job with the therapist. Everything he said felt something a real (good) therapist would say and advice. But... Yes, there's a but. I know how many people love this book, how many readers are moved by it and felt understood and seen. When I started reading and got to know Emmett and his struggles, I felt seen too. I understood a lot of the things he was struggling with. I'm not as bright as he is, I don't have what they would have called Asperger's Syndrome, but as for his daily struggles, I understood on a personal level. Then I met Jeremey. I don't suffer from depression myself, never have, but I have had depressed people around me, so I think I know what it means because of what I've witnessed close by. And, weird enough, I felt the best connection with Jeremey. He sounded so dark and well, depressed, his daily struggles to find a reason to keep on going were such a fight to not give up. It drained him, exhausted him, and not until he meets Emmett and falls in love, he found a reason to not give up. His parents were awful people, though in the end they get a little redemption because of what happened to his mother. But they were not supportive at all, even when they said that all they wanted for him to be happy. And maybe that was the best sign they did not understand him at all. Of course we all want our kids to be happy, but when they are not, it doesn't help to just tell them all the time that that's what you want for them. It's better to talk to them and to see what they need, what you can do. Acknowledge their inability to be happy and seek professional help. So, let's get back to Emmett. He's the autistic person in this story, the one I understood. And yet, there was something about him that got to my nerves. He didn't sound as a 19 years old mature boy on the verge of manhood. He sounded like a 12 years old, and I could not get passed that. I understand all the things that made him tick, I understood his love for trains, the need for counting, his flapping, his humming...I understood all of that, and that's not what I mean when I say he sounded like a 12 years old. It were his inner thoughts that made me feel like I was dealing with a child instead of a young adult. On the one hand he thought about sex and voiced exactly what he thought without any filter, which is quite the opposite of who I am, but it's a common thing, so I understood. But on the other hand he phrased situations and things that happened like he wasn't a 19 years old young man. A neurodivergent brain doesn't mean you are not a grown up person, or can't be a grown up person. On the contrary, I am tempted to say. For the outside world you might still appear to be like a child (with the flapping, the rocking, the humming), but on the inside you are your own age. And that's what bothers me the most about this book.
Also, it shows it's written almost 10 years ago. Of all the other characters who are mentioned that have autism, not one was female. For the past years, a lot more has become known about the spectrum and a neurodivergent brain. Of course it's not something I can blame this book for, but to me it showed it was a bit stuck in time.
I wanted to love this with all my heart, and for a moment I thought I would, but then I didn't and I was quite a bit disappointed about that. But it is what it is, and I'm still happy I read it. Many readers loved it and many readers will, and if it's the kind of book that touches you deeply and helps you to feel seen, that's all the reason you need. ...more
NicoleR.M.M.
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neurodivergent-mc
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