Daring Greatly is both an informative read on the nature of shame, vulnerability, and emotional exposure and an exhortation to begin practicing livingDaring Greatly is both an informative read on the nature of shame, vulnerability, and emotional exposure and an exhortation to begin practicing living a "Wholehearted" life, which entails coming out from the shadows of shame and judgment and sharing ourselves courageously and authentically with the world. I was intrigued to read this book because I have noticed lingering effects of childhood shame throughout my life - in my social relations, in my own self-talk, in everyday decisions - and I wanted to learn more about the process of becoming more courageous in sharing my weird self. Thankfully, Brown spends plenty of time discussing how to become shame resilient, how to determine proper degrees of vulnerability, how to differentiate guilt and shame, and how to become more introspective when feelings of shame surface. I am a more confident and open person now after having read it.
While the theory and factual content were enjoyable, I noticed that the tone and examples in the book felt more appropriate for neurotic and emotionally volatile women than normal people (Brown willingly shares example after example of her neuroticism and anxiety, as a researcher, speaker, mother, etc.). Much of the energy in the book was directed toward helping people become more vulnerable despite their incredible fear, their paralyzing anxiety, their sweaty nervousness, etc. and as a very emotionally stable person, I found this frustrating. She writes as if everyone is a porcelain doll about ready to shatter from shame and yet somehow they are to white-knuckle through the emotional exposure anyway. Perhaps I was not her target audience, but then a small section discussing ways to become more emotionally resilient would have been an a useful adjunct....more
Allen Carr's Easyway is a fundamentally different approach to recovery than conventional substance recovery programs. As opposed to most other methodsAllen Carr's Easyway is a fundamentally different approach to recovery than conventional substance recovery programs. As opposed to most other methods, Carr's program works without the use of willpower (hence, Easyway). Developed in his first book, Easy Way to Stop Smoking, Carr's approach helps people quit their addictions by getting them to challenge their assumptions of benefit. The method is simple: realize the ugly truth about the nature of your problem and deliberately undo your conditioning toward it. This approach works by changing one's desire, not by changing one's behavior toward the desire. As one learns more about their addiction, their internal cost-benefit equation regarding it changes. When what was once seen as fun and pleasure is now seen as dangerous and toxic, avoiding the behavior is effortless. In contrast to willpower techniques (various types of forced abstention techniques), which logically and inevitably entail an internal, psychological conflict between "I want" and "I shouldn't," Easyway doesn't involve any conflict at all. It is a method of destroying the basis for "I want" so that all that remains is a sober view of the object of the addiction and "I shouldn't" wins by default. His approach isn't unlike some types of CBT.
Quit Drinking Without Willpower is a book using Easyway to help people eliminate the desire to drink alcohol. Overall, Carr's claim is certainly true. Most drinkers ("normal" and otherwise) are not aware that they are addicts to a drug that will harm their health, spend their money, ruin their relationships, corrupt their happiness, impair their judgment, and impede their progress; being unaware of their own addiction, and the subsequent rationalizations an addicted mind makes, they believe alcohol is genuinely a good thing, that it adds substantial value to their lives, that it improves their sociability, that life would be much poorer without it, etc. However, if they reeducate themselves and reinterpret their "fun habit" as something vicious, then they begin to see the so-called poison as real poison, and they can escape the alcohol trap easily and become a happy nondrinker (just as we are all presumably happy nondrinkers of arsenic).
Beyond the value of Easyway as a whole (which deserves 5 stars) and its application to alcohol addiction, I found Quit Drinking to be a little too dogmatic. Carr's assertions that the only benefit from alcohol is that it satisfies a prior craving for alcohol (created by the unease of detoxing the previous drink), that any benefit to alcohol is merely perceived and not real (because the terrifying prospect of chemical addiction forces one to rationalize their enjoyment of alcohol), and that all of alcohol's "virtues" are false is too strong a claim to make. Alcohol has many terrible effects, but it does have a few true non-circular benefits. For example, alcohol is known to temporarily reduce self-consciousness and social anxiety. Carr himself admits alcohol is useful as an antiseptic and anesthetic. These facts undermine Carr's message in Quit Drinking - which sometimes can take an aggressive tone - but not the Easyway method. I am not sure I will become a lifelong nondrinker, but reading Quit Drinking destroyed almost all of alcohol's appeal to me.
Related: Annie Grace's "This Naked Mind" is a personal retelling of Quit Drinking, but more plausible, more entertaining, and with updated scientific information....more
An excellent introduction to the mysteries of sleep. Walker explains how we fall asleep (circadian rhythm, adenosine), what happens when we sleep (memAn excellent introduction to the mysteries of sleep. Walker explains how we fall asleep (circadian rhythm, adenosine), what happens when we sleep (memory consolidation & forgetting, healing, dreaming, etc.) the evolutionary history of sleep & dreaming, the health impacts of too-little sleep, and finally some commentary on how to promote a culture of more and better sleep. An enjoyable and elucidating book....more
The Little Book of Big Change deviates from the traditional approaches to managing habits. Instead of offering a program or method to control undesireThe Little Book of Big Change deviates from the traditional approaches to managing habits. Instead of offering a program or method to control undesired behavior, Amy explains the psychological processes that guide habituation and this understanding undercuts their power over us. By viewing habits in a new light, by introducing insight and wisdom in the context of our urges, we can remain "in control" of them without any need for willpower or white-knuckling through them. All "effort-based" approaches to habit management are difficult, stressful, and engender internal conflicts within us. One part of our mind wants the behavior, the other resists it - and consistently making the latter win this conflict is grueling and self-defeating. However, by stepping back and investigating our relationship with various habits in an introspective way, we can gain freedom from them without any effort at all....more
One Small Step Can Change Your Life is a book about a continuous improvement methodology called Kaizen. Developed by American manufacturers and busineOne Small Step Can Change Your Life is a book about a continuous improvement methodology called Kaizen. Developed by American manufacturers and business experts in the 1940s, and famously refined by Toyota and other post WWII-Japanese firms, Kaizen is a system for implementing change on a very small scale. Instead of approaching change (behavioral, procedural, emotional, etc.) on a large scale - what Maurer calls innovation: the idea that big changes come from big ideas and big actions - Kaizen encourages one to explore the most marginal steps possible toward your goal. It encourages this because marginal steps toward change do not trigger a fear response when confronted with the idea of big change (i.e., I need to quit smoking, I need to double my income, I need to start an exercise routine, etc.). Faced with the prospect of big change, the brain naturally defaults to a defensive psychological position because it isn't 100% convinced the change is beneficial (if it were, one would already be doing it). Making marginal changes, such as walking outside for 5 minutes a day, or eating 1 less chocolate square a week, or working for 10 minutes more than normal, are so small that they do not trip your internal alarm system that you are sacrificing something and upending your life. As you succeed in these marginal (almost ridiculously small) steps, you: 1) build confidence and self-esteem by proving to your internal audience that you can make change in general, 2) make progress toward a desired outcome, and 3) frictionlessly increase the quality of your life on a continuous basis, leading to enormous and compounded effects.
While I am very impressed with the Kaizen approach (it deserves 5 stars) and have now absorbed it into my own ongoing personal development methodology, I cannot say the same for Maurer's book per se. He intelligently divides his explanation of the methodology into separate chapters related to smallness (small questions, small thoughts, small actions, small rewards, etc.), and his insights about the nature of these small movements are valuable, but his writing style is too gushy, too cringey, and too reminiscent of the "You can do it too!! Here are a bunch of personal anecdotes from clients" style of self-help writing from the 1980's. I would have preferred less retelling of his clinical experience with this or that patient and more precise psychological explanations on fear-avoidance, the role of habit, willpower, and internal benefit calculus, and personal applications instead of business/sales/career applications. In all, a good book to understand the basics of Kaizen and how it can be applied to personal and professional realms, but not the end of the discussion by any stretch.
Related: Darren Hardy's "The Compound Effect"...more
This Naked Mind is ostensibly about learning the truth about alcohol so you can easily dial it back or quit it completely. It is actually a blueprint This Naked Mind is ostensibly about learning the truth about alcohol so you can easily dial it back or quit it completely. It is actually a blueprint for overcoming destructive habits in general through the example of alcohol. Rather than insisting you adopt some will-driven program to moderate your drinking, Annie Grace does a tremendous job in rewriting your unconscious views on alcohol so that you literally do not desire it anymore, making quitting or reducing your drinking effortless. Her approach is profound and would work on other vices as well. I am grateful for the several friends who recommended this book to me and I am happy that I am now free from my many years of societal conditioning regarding the benefits of alcohol. ...more
Recovery is Brand's unique take on the 12 Step Program popularized by Alcoholics Anonymous and other addiction support groups. In each chapter, he disRecovery is Brand's unique take on the 12 Step Program popularized by Alcoholics Anonymous and other addiction support groups. In each chapter, he discusses each step and part of his own life as he transformed from a heroin and crack junkie, sex addict, alcoholic, celebrity megalomaniac, etc. into a spiritually-inclined father and mentor. The Program, explained in Brand's quirky and hilarious commentary, is rigorous, exhaustive, illuminating, but workable and accommodating. Living in the kind of hyper-materialist consumer culture that we do, all of us are somewhere on the scale of addiction; whether you're merely privately concerned about a few bad habits or you're an inch away from total self-destruction, this method and this process can work for you. I recommend it for anyone interested in self-betterment....more
Discipline Equals Freedom is intended to be a manual for how to persevere and stick to good habits like eating well and working out (or whatever your Discipline Equals Freedom is intended to be a manual for how to persevere and stick to good habits like eating well and working out (or whatever your goals are). Unfortunately, this book fails to live up to that goal. The first half is not much more than Jocko yelling at you to "just do it." There's no real insight on the psychology of willpower, the issue of fatigue, the science of habituation, or anything like that - only meathead vacuities. The second half is an odd collection of amateur diet advice, self-defense and martial arts commentary, and his personal workout plan. Jocko would make a great personal trainer, but this book doesn't help me at all. Mercifully, it is short....more
The Trial is a major work by Kafka, a 20th century existentialist, where a man must defend himself in an ongoing trial where he knows nothing of his cThe Trial is a major work by Kafka, a 20th century existentialist, where a man must defend himself in an ongoing trial where he knows nothing of his case. The social commentary and the psychological themes are interesting, but the novel itself is poor. It is fragmentary, halting, and occasionally boring. There's nobody likable in the whole story....more
This is a book about developing more peace and happiness in your life and connecting better to the world. Divided into 3 sections corresponding to PeaThis is a book about developing more peace and happiness in your life and connecting better to the world. Divided into 3 sections corresponding to Peace, Power, and Purpose, the book does offer interesting and helpful insights into how to overcome suffering in our lives. The most valuable aspect concerns his section on emotional intelligence (Peace) and the others are sort of rehashes of those ideas. The book needs better editing, and I didn't enjoy how sentimental and New Agey it reads, but it does contain some wisdom to take away....more
Cleansing the Doors of Perception is a collection of essays by Huston Smith and other writers interested in the overlap between entheogenic (psychedelCleansing the Doors of Perception is a collection of essays by Huston Smith and other writers interested in the overlap between entheogenic (psychedelic) mystical experiences and genuine religious experiences. The medicinal and spiritual uses of LSD, peyote, mescaline, psilocybin, and more are explored in relation to their history of use within religious traditions (Mexican shaman, Hindu yogis, etc.) and to their relevance for revitalizing the "religious life." Devout followers of any religious faith will recognize immediately what Smith and others describe through their exploration of entheogens: namely, the experience of transcendence, the joy and terror of awe, the deconstruction of our physical/material viewpoint, and ecstatic union with the Divine. Though they may chafe at the suggestion that plants and chemicals can create something indistinguishable from true religious revelation, anyone interested in reorienting our conscious perspectives toward spiritual paths will find this book - and the substances they describe - as a valuable complement to their faith....more
Good, useful information on how to overcome self-defeating behaviors, but most of the book wasn't relevant to me. My main takeaways involved learning Good, useful information on how to overcome self-defeating behaviors, but most of the book wasn't relevant to me. My main takeaways involved learning how to curb my habit of talking too much and being more genuine in my interactions. I wish the chapters were longer and more detailed, though. Reminds me of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff....more
Man's Search for Meaning is two things: an inspiring account of Frankl's time in Nazi concentration camps, the trials and inhuman conditions he overcaMan's Search for Meaning is two things: an inspiring account of Frankl's time in Nazi concentration camps, the trials and inhuman conditions he overcame, the psychological and sociological structure of life in a forced labor camp - and the form of psychological therapy he created to heal the existential angst and anxieties of individuals living in the 20th century. His form of therapy - logotherapy - was created theoretically during his professional years in pre-war Vienna and created actually, tangibly, during his own time struggling as a Jewish prisoner with the existential destruction of living in concentration camps. As a psychologist, he saw how the sheer brutality of his experience reduced men to animal behavior, obliterated their sense of agency, made them into ghosts, decapitated everyone from their meanings of life, and eventually eroded their very will to live. Man's Search for Meaning is a sobering reminder that a meaning to life is a psychologically crucial element for man's survival and that there is resolution to the malaise of depressive nihilism that swept Europe last century....more
A great and powerful book. I enjoyed the author's insights on psychology and decision-making, his excellent vignettes on Alcoa, Starbucks, Proctor & GA great and powerful book. I enjoyed the author's insights on psychology and decision-making, his excellent vignettes on Alcoa, Starbucks, Proctor & Gamble, Target, etc., and his practical strategies on how to reshape one's habits and lifestyles. Habits are in charge of most of our lives, and we have to take responsibility for identifying, shaping and creating habits we want. For anyone interested in adopting good habits, dropping bad habits, or both (me) - this book is indispensable and will be of tremendous aid to you.
5 stars = life-changing, powerful, a must read...more
This book is a foray into our statistical ignorance and irrationality through a number of paradoxes and probability riddles. Anyone interested in learThis book is a foray into our statistical ignorance and irrationality through a number of paradoxes and probability riddles. Anyone interested in learning more about logic, mathematics, statistics, economics, and politics will be thrilled by vos Savant's counter-intuitive but ultimately compelling answers on these topics....more
Truly profound and radical in its approach. An amazing inquiry into the self and one's own conditioning. This has the capacity to change every reader.Truly profound and radical in its approach. An amazing inquiry into the self and one's own conditioning. This has the capacity to change every reader....more
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