Ooh, this was a personal challenge to read! It was NOT what I was expecting--I thought this would be more about the ways in which we deceive ourselvesOoh, this was a personal challenge to read! It was NOT what I was expecting--I thought this would be more about the ways in which we deceive ourselves (like we cheat on our calorie counting apps, or about how skilled we are at any particular task). And this is THAT, but a very focused version of that. This is about how you refuse to see how you are often responsible for the problems you cause. Oh, ouch!
I was introduced to the Arbinger Institute when I read Success Mindsets: Your Keys to Unlocking Greater Success in Your Life, Work, & Leadership and he discussed Inward vs Outward mindsets. I took the assessment and I didn't score terribly on outward mindsets, which I honestly think is as much as my education, training, and experience with coaching as anything else (if you have an inward mindset as a coach, you won't be a very good coach). But still...how often have I blamed people for things and been the victim? At work? At home? With my child? Pretty often. I'm a much better wife than I might have been 15 years ago because I've done some personal work, but I can still be pretty inward in my interactions with my 5-year old, and I definitely see some "in the box" thinking with my work situation(s). I don't love the "parable as story" type of narrative (and I'm reading The Ideal Team Player: How to Recognize and Cultivate The Three Essential Virtues which has a similar style), but the book still got its point across, and I like how they continued the "story" with their next book, The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict, which is the next book I'm reading (and after that...The Outward Mindset: Seeing Beyond Ourselves!) I'm doing a deep dive into ALL the Arbinger Institute books, baby!
But seriously--this book is honestly lifechanging (and I don't use that word lightly) because it helps you examine how you apply "in the box" thinking in many areas of your life, and how you're not getting where you want to go because of it. Honestly, I wish the back end of the book (past the parable) was a little longer. I could've used more research about this topic, but I'll take what I can get....more
Hungry, humble and smart--that's it in a nutshell. And I think those are solid teammate character traits. I haven't actually read The 5 Dysfunctions oHungry, humble and smart--that's it in a nutshell. And I think those are solid teammate character traits. I haven't actually read The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team yet, but Lencioni is a legend in the leadership development business, so I'll get around to it eventually. He uses a fable to explain his thesis, which I know some find cheesy, but for me it worked. And I couldn't disagree with his big 3--I know lots of people with 2 of the 3, but to have all 3 is golden. I feel like hungry is hard to teach, and also...smart seems hard to teach (I equate it with emotional intelligence, but he specifically called it out that it was different, but I'm not sure I understood HOW it was different). I'm not in a position to be hiring people for my team, but if I was, questions that address these three elements would definitely be part of my interview package.
It is rare that I laugh out loud at books, especially self-help books, but this was the first Jon Acuff book I read, and it won't be the last. He has It is rare that I laugh out loud at books, especially self-help books, but this was the first Jon Acuff book I read, and it won't be the last. He has a great narrative style and he's very witty. It was a real joy to read.
I feel like I've read a pile of these types of books (...that have yet to stick, hmmm) but Acuff gives a different twist to it. I actually have been wanting to create more positive habits, which is why I'm going to read Atomic Habits next, versus having a project I never finish (I'm pretty good at finishing projects), but his advice works for habits too (he just doesn't call it that). I've had a few bits of advice from his book cross my mind when I'm not reading it, which is always a good sign. One being: cut the goal in half. Another: Choose what to bomb (3 weeks ago I bombed Twitter and the newspaper post-election, and it has been AWESOME). Another: measure your data (which I do with my Streaks and LoseIt apps--and FitBit).
Consequently, I'm on my way to a couple of weeks of using my Streaks app consistently that has 9 (!!) things I want to get done every day that are important to me--Erin self-care tasks, if you will. And I've actually been doing them. Not just one or two (which is the standard advice about habits--do little things, then bigger things), but ALL of them. Kind of like a whole system change (reset?). I'm not sure what Acuff's book had to do with that (if anything), but considering that one of those tasks is to read, and I just finished his book, I'd call that a win for synchronicity. Regardless, I've been feeling better these past weeks than I have in a while, and I'm chalking that up on the win column....more
The book was a little facile, and quite repetitive. I was using it to build an emotional intelligence class around, but there wasn't much "there" therThe book was a little facile, and quite repetitive. I was using it to build an emotional intelligence class around, but there wasn't much "there" there. I should just start with Goleman's original work from the 1990's....more
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